Book title: Aragons

Author: earlfangs

Genre: dark fantasy

Reviewer: helenl0511

Since you republished all the chapters, I just wrote the review again. Sorry for the delay.

Book cover: 5/5

Whoa. I've got nothing to say. Just let me scream!!

The cover is super attractive and intriguing. The fonts are clear and I like the colours. It is a masterpiece and grabs everyone's attention at once. Good job, HayleyLHeurex . I'm really impressed.

Book title: 4/5

Interesting title. It makes me wonder what it means. It also fits the story very well. It is just a single word, but it has so much impact and it literally just screams for attention.

Blurb: 9/10

Very intriguing blurb. I like the two quotes and the second one "may the light be with you" made me screaming in my heart. I love it that you gave the original one a twist and it makes the blurb a whole lot interesting.

The blurb gives readers some info but it also keeps some, which makes it quite interesting. Also, I really love the second part of the blurb, which was the part that really grabbed my attention.

Improvements... I think the blurb is already good. Though, you can try to find an important excerpt from the story and add it to the blurb. Compare the two versions of the blurb and you might be inspired to make the blurb much better than good. Sometimes adding an excerpt from the story to the blurb adds the finishing touch.

Opening chapter: 9/10

Those book cover simulations are so cool! And the teaser trailer is just amazing. Those characters... simply beautiful.

The first chapter is much better than before. I can't quite remember the previous version but I remember you did quite a lot of info-dumping, but now it's better since you reorganised it and it doesn't really have the info-dumping feel anymore. Good job on that improvement.

The first chapter started from the climax, I'd say. I really love the whole action part and I can totally picture the whole scene. It really hooks people and the last sentence does a great impact! I really like how you ended the chapter with the words of Raia's master.

I am glad you decided to slow down the pace of the story a bit since, in the previous version, your story's flow was a bit too fast in my opinion. I was about to point it out but when I reread it, the issue was fixed.

To be honest, the story is much more interesting now after you edited it. Try to keep proofreading it once in a while so that you may get inspiration from the previous chapters.

Structure: 18/20

The grammar's nearly perfect, and the vocabulary is great. There isn't really any typos either.

The structure is neat and clean, and the writing style is good. I could picture everything you wrote, and it really helped to make the story a whole lot interesting. The descriptions were really good too.

I don't think there's really any improvement needed (I'm not really that into grammar). The current structure, grammar, description etc is already good enough for normal readers (like me). Just keep up the good work.

Plot: 9/10

A very original, creative and interesting plot. It really takes me into the world of the Aragons and I could see this brand new world with my own eyes.

It gets more and more interesting as the story builds on. Those tiny details start to form the bigger picture of the world, and the questions that I had in the previous chapters are slowly answered as I continued reading. You did a great job in putting in the plot holes and filling them.

Anyways, I have to say, I am really impressed by your creativity. The plot is really good and I'm looking forward to seeing you finally fill in all of those plot holes and present us with the final picture.

Just one note. Please don't do the info-dumping you did for the previous version of the story anymore.

Character development: 14/15

Raia's character is already quite clear from the very beginning. Through her expressions and inner thought, we get to understand her. Raiden's and Nathan's character is also clearly shown through their actions. I really love how you show but not tell their characters.

I already see Raia's growth in the first few chapters. She keeps absorbing the knowledge she never got to learnt, and it seems natural. She also has those memories which show her growth, for example, I love the part where she said that it's not holy to "kill" people, but then she accepts the truth afterwards.

Keep up with your good work and I'm sure the characters will always be in this life and make us readers adore them.

Enjoyment: 10/10

I definitely enjoyed it a lot. The whole story is very intriguing and I can't tear my eyes away from it.

Overall impression: 13/15

Overall, it's a really good story. Although there might be places for improvements, I'm not really eager to point them out because I think the story is already very good and pointing out "improvements" about the plot or character development might actually destroy the uniqueness of your story.

However, if you want to listen to some real and meaningful opinions about some parts of your story, you can always ask your readers. I'm sure they will present a bunch of ideas to you. (since there is a set structure for reviews I can't really give many opinions lol)

Marks: 91/100