Book title: You Must Remember This

Author: FranklinBarnes

Genre: literary fiction

Reviewer: helenl0511

I'm so sorry for the delay... I'm trapped in my exams T_T

Book cover: 5/5

You changed the cover...

Anyways, the new one is much better! The background picture is not as plain, it really has an aesthetic feel and it's very beautiful. The background also fits the story well. The title also doesn't feel as abrupt as before as the colour and font also fits and blends with the picture. This new cover is amazing!

Book title: 5/5

Intriguing, interesting title. Grabs my attention immediately. It also fits the story, since you should remember the criticisms and ironies mentioned in it and think about it deeply. I've got nothing to say, it's just an amazing title for this story.

Blurb: 9/10

A clear, direct blurb. I love how it's direct, but it is still interesting. It makes me wonder what it will talk about. It really hooks me and I wonder how the education system will be described and mocked. I already have expectations for the story from the blurb, I hope that it will be able to make me think deeply about the things around me, like the system.

Opening chapter: 9/10

O. M. G. Those descriptions are so great! I'm super impressed. Though, as said in the comments, it's a bit overwhelming for average readers to read. For me, I'm a bit of a slow thinker so I did reread a few times before fully picturing the scenes.

Later on, we got the chance to meet our characters! I like it that you already try to distinguish them from the very start by showing their personalities (instead of just giving names), but it is quite hard to remember all of them. Though, I love that you showed most of the things instead of telling.

There's a lot of world-building and plot to set in this chapter, but it doesn't feel abrupt at all. Most things you described high school feel realistic and relatable for me, and the different point of views amazes me, like, I can really put myself in the shoes of the characters and I am totally absorbed in the chapter!

So, overall this chapter is really good. The title of the chapter is well-chosen and it fits the chapter, with a bit of irony in it. Though, I'd suggest you really break your description (just the description, for the other parts I think is fine) into smaller parts, especially for Wattpaders. I think more people will be willing to read your book (and lit fic) if you make your book more "user friendly". Try making it easier for them to read and understand.

Structure: 19/20

Very good grammar, vocabulary and writing style. I don't really see any typo too.

The structure of each paragraph is a bit long, but I think most of them are fine and I can't really find any reasons to break them apart into shorter paragraphs. Though, as I mentioned before, I do suggest breaking the descriptions.

The way you change and shift the perspectives of the characters are really nice. They don't feel weird and abrupt, they feel totally natural.

Though, there was a dialogue in chapter 2, that I found confusing: "'yeah, I am. Thanks,' Ernest responded, his eyes firmly intent on his schedule... and was thus daunting. 'Do you have her next period?'" I had to read a few times before understanding that the second dialogue was Frank speaking, and as suggested in the comments, you should always open a new paragraph when a different person is speaking to avoid confusion.

Plot: 9/10

I really like your plot. The whole timeline and plot threads weave together nicely, and everything is developing quite well. The high school life is realistic and relatable, and it really sends a resonance to the readers.

The flow of the story is fine and I can see plot holes too. There is so much potential in your story and I'm really interested in what will happen next.

Character development: 13/15

Every character had a clear character and none of them seems alike. The way you build your characters are really good and it is really clear that your characters are developing bit by bit through their high school life.

There was a comment in chapter 2 saying that the section about Mr T didn't do anything, and didn't give any new info. I want to say that this is so not true and you actually did a really great job showing his character, or even, all the characters!

One thing that I really loved is the way you show how Regina was trying to catch John's attention and how the other characters thought about it. I can really relate and I can feel the naivety of teenagers.

Though, I would say that there are too many characters in your story and I can't quite remember who is who. I had to reread to refresh my memories and I did a count. 12 students and 9 teachers with names and their own characteristics mentioned in just 2 chapters. It is quite overwhelming, really, especially when you introduced them all together.

Enjoyment: 9/10

I enjoyed it a lot, though the length of each chapter and a large number of characters made it a bit difficult to read and understand.

Overall impression: 13/15

Your book is really good. It got the plot, the characters, the writing style, the grammar, the vocabulary.

It is a good book for those who wish to truly understand and think about the education system, the influences it, and the naivety of teenagers. Though, it is a hard read for young and average readers since it requires a lot of deep thinking and understanding in literature, which many readers in Wattpad do not possess.

Total marks: 91/100