Mature Content Warning: This Chapter is rated mature and only appropriate for ages 18 years and older.

Hi everyone :). I am so sorry for the delay in updating this book, but after the last update, my father died a few days later in month of July and after that I struggled a lot in writing.

I actually am on a break and not intending to update every week. I will only update when I feel like posting a chapter and now I am writing for fun. I know my grammar is bad, my sentences are horrible, and I don't know how to write...however as a fan of Shivika, I am still writing for fun. Please don't keep high expectations of me. I am nowhere serious about my writing and this is just a fun hobby I do to forget about my real life problems. So I am sorry again and I am hoping to post another chapter soon this weekend...but it will be a very short one if it get's written :).

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https://youtu.be/zb_IOQhHvsE

"Tonight, you gave me a right as your equal in the form of this sindoor. A sindoor holds its own sacred meaning. It is not only a symbol of married women, but also a symbol for those women who seek honor and dignity from the man to whom they have fully given themselves up to. I have lost my heart to a shaitaan, but given up my soul willingly to a man who is my savior...which is you. Every person needs a companion in life and it is true I was living my life alone and able to survive alone for years, but the loneliness was killing me until I got you. You saved me. That is why I gave myself to you because you gave me hope...showed me light...The way you made me your crown of honor tonight to appreciate how I gave myself fully up to you...has won me. I can fully say that until my last breath...I will only be yours'. Even though, I will never be able to love you...I want to make you feel loved even if it is for a moment. You deserve to know how love feels like. You deserve to know what being loved is like. You deserve love because you are human too. You are the most precious gift to me, so I can never see you suffer like this without love. So let me love you for a moment..."

Tears dripped down my heart which pained not ready to fully love again even if it is only for a moment. He clasped his palm against his lips and closed his eyes shut to further reveal his tears that were not ready to stop. It was as if he was not crying in pain, but joy that finally he had gotten someone who would dare to even love his demons.

Without another word, I grabbed his neck and took a hold of his lips. Thunder roared instantly as lightening struck us again. Rain began to simmer down the heat of our bodies which molded into one. Our lips merged into a silent synchrony. We entered each other's secrets and ravished the taste of sweet crystals that rippled out of our rotten hearts which were daring to love. Suddenly lightening flashed above us once again and set us off into a frenzy. Our hands ran down each other's wet fabrics only to rip them apart. His lips began to bruise mine as I responded with equal force wanting to bite and mark every piece of his skin to make him mine. The cool rain collided against us to push us apart, but we did not let go. The kiss became turbulent, emphatic, yet still held subtle wetness of passion. We continued to undo each other's fabrics eager to become one...and finally make love that we never have before.

And then the night dimmed. The moon collapsed upon the both of us. Tears vanquished out of our eyes. And he took me in his arms only to merge his lips passionately on to mine. Silence held us. Lust died...and only love caressed us.

Rain continued to pour. Lightening hummed in silence. Thunder embroiled itself in a vicious roar.

The lines of our fates merged as our hands entwined into one. His skin gently pressed against mine. The beats of our hearts melded together continuing to weave a sacred bond between them that would stay for an eternity.

Tearful smiles touched our wet lips that parted once again and merged. His hand wrapped around my neck to claim my lips. Our mouths smoldered into one setting off a sudden fire within us that became further ignited by the roaring thunder. His lips tasting like bittersweet, red wine as they began to lace me with ecstasy. My hands drummed down his thin, damp shirt as they began to tug on it wanting to undrape him and give him a taste of love.

Heartbeats surged. Our bodies mounded together.

Soon he deepened the kiss with his tongue striking the soft, inner folds of my mouth to milk them with crystals of desire. Slamming me gently against the glass doors, that led into our hotel room, he slid his arms through the wrinkles of my skirt pushing my hips against the foundation. My breaths began to fall as I let out a heave and trailed my hands up to his neck pulling him closer to let heat swarm our shivering bodies.

My lips began to race against his as I felt a sudden hunger to take every softness of his skin not in selfish greed, but in a compassionate want...to heal his wounds and soak them with the small pieces of love I carried. His hands entangled themselves into my wet waves with him taking a strong grasp of my chin and forcing my mouth open against his so he could fully devour them.

Our eyes barely opened as we continued to dip into a fountain of fervent, hasty kisses not once letting go of the other. His blue hues revealed bits of hope he formed from hearing my desire to love him even if it was for a second. My heart surged and raptured out layers of suppressed, devotion that I had formed for him every time when he had claimed me in the past.

His hands slowly drifted up to the ends of my crimson cheeks as he soaked in their warmth. My lips barely held on to his as I continued to snatch fraile, yet, chaste kisses from him. Both of us becoming breathless as we began to part away.

He revealed a soft, innocent smile that was smothered with the red shades of my lipstick. The wild waves of the rain converged with the moonlight to reveal his handsome, porcelain skin that perfectly weaved a contrast with his blue tearful eyes that had charmed me.

My hands wrapped around his as I gave back a shy smile to him while shivering lightly against him body. He moved in closer to give me warmth while entrapping me against the glass doors that were beginning to open and lead me into the bedroom.

We continued to gaze at one another finding ourselves speechless not knowing how to express our admiration of the other. The rain being the only tune that danced between us.

"I have kissed you many times, but I don't know why this kiss felt different..." He began to speak finding himself hesitant...not being a man of romance or vulnerability. He rarely speaks when he is intimate with me, so for him to even speak in such a barely romantic manner is surprising.

I let out a giggle and slid my fingers across his shaking lips to complete his sentence. My heart pounded loudly while he showed some relief that I was willing to take reign and initiate a moment of romance, not lust.

"Felt different as if this was our first kiss because before we always have kissed to comfort the loneliness within us, but this is the first when we have dared to fill the emptiness in each other. Perhaps, this is what we need. We cannot continue to entwine and entangle our bodies while letting our souls suffer and not let them touch each other...We cannot continue to fight this battle within ourselves alone..." My voice cracked from the pain of past wounds which was rising from the dusted graves of heartbreak that laid underneath the crusts of my body.

The thunder rumbled behind us to give us the last dose of strength we needed to begin the knotting of our hearts into that sacred bond. He let his tears drop not once daring to take them away and hide away his vulnerability like he has done in the past.

"Then let's look at each other's wounds and give them the healing they need. Tonight, is not about you or me, but us..." He let his heart speak and forever encage me. The word us was simple, yet, held depth. Both of us no longer just two strangers who slept together, but something more...now bounded in a relationship that ran deeper than any chants or hymns could not even given justice to.

His palm crawled on to the red shade that painted the parting of my hair. My eyes closing shut as I relished the caress of his fingers which continued to dab his soul's essence into his red blood which he had marked me with...The sindoor he claimed me with.

He leaned in gradually while filled with hesitation finding this moment strange. The idea of intimacy being foreign to him since he likely never experienced it.

"I don't know if I am capable of love, but I want to try to make you feel a bit loved...just a bit," He whispered in innocence appearing to be scared from the mere thought of indulging in the act of love.

My heart hit a trail of loud thumps. It pounded, trembled, and fell not able to bear the thought of being loved once again. I felt a need to push him away knowing I might not be able to endure love, but something held me back.

"Just once Anika. I am only asking for once...only if you allow me. Let me make this night special...for you."

I felt a tear drop on to my faint smile finding myself speechless and at crossroads. He continued to look at me with eagerness waiting for an answer. I can tell he is not talking about that all consuming, passionate "love", but the love that any two human beings can develop for one another out of sheer admiration...that simplistic, non-committal love that we humans at times can develop for those who dare to lay a small mark on us.

I do not even think I am capable of even being loved in this simple manner, but then the way he is looking at me with hope is not allowing me to decline. I cannot break him. He tries to be a man of strength, but I know he is fragile. Breaking him would be mean breaking me.

I wanted to say "yes",but was not able to. The word was not coming out of me, so instead I let the silence dance.

My hands took an immediate hold of his cheeks and before he could speak, I crashed my lips against his to drown him into a kiss. He parted his lips and slipped his tongue into my mouth to drench me in the crystals of love that were escaping from his heart. A lustrous moan piqued out of the both of us as we increased the pace of our lips against each other desperately wanting to submerge into each other quickly and let the night proceed.

Our legs began to entwine into each as we stumbled and collapsed against the glass doors behind us. Barely letting go, we held on to our kiss letting it evolve from sweet, tender ones to bruising, passionate not able to hold back an ardent desire to have each other.

Suddenly, he slammed me against the door wanting to take control, but before I knew it I was flying through the doors into the bedroom. My hands slipped against his wet shirt, though, they took a firm grasp. Losing my breaths against his trembling mouth, I took possession of it again before pushing my damp bosom against his cold, glacial chest.

A trail of giggles and laughter escaped from us like we were two young, drunk teenagers who were having their first time and ready to lose their virginities. But, we were not. He was an old man and I barely in my early twenties...we held barriers and differences from where we came from, our age, culture, values...everything, yet, we continued to ignore them and dive into luscious kisses.

He and I began to dance against each other. Raising our hands up in the air, we began to pull them back and forth against each other while continuing to steal gentle, wistful kisses. Throwing my wet hairlocks against his cheeks, I attempted tot ease him, but failing as he pulled me closer into his arms and began to lead me through the living area to our bedroom.

"I love how you said...yes," He whispered against my lips after finally letting them go. I let out a breathless giggle and dug my fingers into his damp hair. Blushing furiously, I lowered my gaze and continued to move backwards towards the bed as he led me towards it.

Gosh what is happening to me? Why is he having such a deep effect on me that I, Anika, who always has been a logical, reasonable thinker is not able to even think clearly of what is happening between us. All I know is that I want him in this moment and no one else. It's like my heart has gone into overdrive and is taking reign of me completely.

As it has become a routine, I traced my hand to the back of the zipper of my crop top ready to slip it off like I always do. However, he took a hold of my palm stopping me midway. I looked up at him in confusion since I am damn sure when he meant "loving me" he meant making love to me...nothing else right? Shivaay Singh Oberoi does not even know the ABCs' of love...I for a fact know his definition of love is sex nothing else.

"What's wrong? Did I do something?" I questioned him curiously and peered closer since his silhouette was barely made out in the dark, dim room.

He let out a chuckle and slipped his cold hands down to my wait, his favorite spot. Goosebumps still burned out of me, despite, his touch being now familiar. He leaned closer as if he wanted to share a secret that should only be maintained between him and I. Running his fingers gently up my cheek, he caressed his lightly knowing how I love this simple gesture of his. He looked at me admiringly continuing to go over my flawsome features.

"No baby, you did nothing wrong, but I think you are confused by what I meant when I said I want to love you and make this night special for you. Tonight, is not like other nights that we have spent together. This mark that I have placed on you has a significance...it symbolizes that you are mine, but this mark is not enough. I want to fully make you mine in the way you deserve to be to...the right way that will forever unite us...This is why I will make tonight special for both you and me," He spoke in determination that was dabbed with obsession. He held an unknown hunger that stemmed from a dark desire which I had yet to tap on, but somewhere I have a feeling that I am the cause of his obsession.

I faintly smiled knowing that I too want our union to be special. Not just a plain tryst which is bombarded with lustful sex, but a special moment where we only make love to each other. I ran my fingers lightly against his blood that filled the parting of my hair...his sindoor.

Our eyes met each other to reveal the unspoken feeling or ehsaas that threaded our souls together. We both want to complete this relationship tonight in a proper way.

"You deserve better Anika. And I know I cannot give you everything you deserve. Relationships are not made for men like me, but I can attempt to give you as much as I can to let you know what an important place you hold in my life and my heart. I want to make you feel special."

My smile widened as I watched his features soften and reveal this hidden, romantic side that I did not even know he had. Gosh my heart. He wants to make me feel special? Me? Anika? What have I done to deserve this special treatment? He can do so much better, yet, here he is trying to do everything to ensure I remain part of his life and do not leave him...do everything to win me over completely. But, Shivaay...little do you know you already have won me and no matter what I will never leave you.

"Then make me feel special tonight. This night is yours' now Mr. Oberoi..." I gave him a flirtatious wink inciting a smirk from him. We shared a laugh finding ourselves becoming giddy with what that this night truly entailed.

Grabbing his cheek, I pulled him into an affectionate kiss to express my desire of being cherished and admired by him tonight. He smiled against my lips and began to guide me towards the closet behind us. I giggled and let go allowing him to guide me towards the walk-in closet with sheer excitement wondering what tonight would involve.

"Tonight, is going to be very special Anika. I am damn sure you will love it!" He dragged me towards a wooden drawer and began to tug it open. I giggled in amusement from witnessing the childish, goofy smile of his that was driving me nuts.

He is so adorable. I swear I have not seen such an adorable, cute, yet, beastly monster before. The way this man changes from being Mr. Akdhu, Khadoos, Grumpy to Mr. Cutie, Sweetu makes me fall for him all over again.

"Oh ho such level of confidence Mr. Oberoi! I think you should come down to the ground a little bit because what if I a young, hot happening, sexy 23 year old does not get impressed by a boring, bland old fashioned special first night set by a 35 year old bhudda!" I chimed in a teasing tone.

His eyes widened as his jaw dropped open from hearing the subtle jab. "What?! Me! Bhudda?!" He turned on his feet and threw his finger up in the air towards me looking like a mighty, pissed off saand.

I crossed my arms and gave him a proud, mischevious smile clearly enjoying how I am wearing the pants in this relationship.

"Well truth is truth jaanu. You are quite the old freak...My cute, naughty bhudda!...Oh how I wish, you were younger. We would have so much more excitement in our life!" I dramatically threw my hand against my heart and faked a disappointed look.

He slightly gasped before digging his fingers into his fists that barely held on to his anger. I giggled and collapsed on to the small Ottoman that sat cross from the dressing room table. Continuing to glare at me, he dug his hand into the wooden dresser barely lifting out a small black gift bag while I gave him a nonchalant look trying to portray myself as the reincarnation of the devil.

Yeah I know I went too far, but I love teasing him about our age gap. He definitely is not a bhudda by any angle, but I kind of insult him on his age because it turns him on. He becomes a little aggressive, possessive, and more determined to get me interested in him...I like that. I like the attention he gives me then to prove himself worthy of me.

"By the way honey...we were supposed to go to the club tonight which means you likely did not make other special plans for tonight, so how exactly will you make our first night special? You know I do not get easily impressed...It will take a lot to get me in bed with you tonight..." I puffed at my nails before giving him a daring look.

I expected him to look defeated, but instead I encountered a devious smile. He was accepting my challenge that I could tell...and damn I love it! I love it when he accepts my challenge. I like that. I like a man working hard to win me.

He took a sudden step towards me making me jump back, but only for him to kneel down on the floor right at my feet. I heaved in surprise not able to believe that the great Shivaay Singh Oberoi was kneeling to me...wow. What charm have you worked on him Anika? How the hell is this man so easily surrendering to you.

Giving me an innocent smile, he placed the black gift bag in my lap and clasped his palms over mine. He leaned in and brushed his lips against my temple before looking at me in the eyes.

"You are too cute sometimes. Jaanu? Honey? Uff...now I wonder what else you call me that I don't know of...Probably Akdhu, Khadoos, Grumpy...hain na?"

Dropping my jaw to the floor, I let my eyes pop out in utter shock unable to believe how shrewdly this man had read my mind.

"W-what? H-how do you know that-" His finger silenced my lips as he pressed it against them since he wanted to run the conversation now.

"Baby don't think that much. By now you should know that I am a man who can read anyone front and back...and damn have I enjoyed reading you both ways, though, the back is quite more attractive to me personally..." He spewed the double meaning comment while eyeing the curves of my back that shimmered down to my behind. Turning bright red like a tomato, I immediately lowered my gaze finding myself overcome with shyness and embarrassment.

He let out a laugh and ran his fingers up to my chin forcing me to look at him. A dangerous streak defined him at the moment.

"First night? Uff...I love the sound of it. You know I did not think of it that way. This is like our first night...Well we had many firsts recently, but sweetheart this is the one I am looking forward to the most. Our first night...with you wearing my sindoor while lying on my bed and allowing me to make love to you and also making love back to me. I can already imagine it, but when it happens...I for sure know I will be driven crazy. Khair...sweetheart, don't worry. I will make sure our first night is memorable. Now be a good girl and wear what I got for you hm? Then we will get going to somewhere very special." That calm, yet, devilish sound of his husky voice sent my heart running wild with excitement and thrill.

I should be scared of his darker shades, but instead, I the fool find my peak attraction when he becomes this dominant character in terms of intimacy. In fact, I the idiot am the one who does everything to make him this way by riling him...it's my biggest turn on I hate to admit.

"I-I don't understand Shivaay. We were supposed to go to the club tonight, so...what arrangements are you talking about? When did you make them and why would you considering you know we were going to the club tonight?" I still sat in confusion unable to comprehend when this man exactly made these plans. Does he have superhuman capabilities or something?

He smirked and wrapped his arms around me to take me into a hug. "Baby don't think too much. I mean Arti got food poisoning for a reason which cancelled the plans for the club..."

Suddenly, I began to choke and erupted in a series of coughs. My breaths halting as I attempted to gasp for air unable to believe what I had just heard. I looked at him and noticed him giving me a sheepish grin. His eyes definitely held a secret that he was hiding from me.

"You gave Arti food poisoning?!"

Shivaay let out a sudden laugh and got up from the ground. I grabbed his hand to stop him from walking away, but he shrugged me off and went to the wardrobe to pull out a new pair of clothes.

"Did I say that? Did I say I gave her food poisoning? No I did not jaan. I would never do that to your sweet, kind baby sister. If she was not your sister, believe me I would give her quite the lesson. Besides, it's not like she is dead. She is just pooping her ass off in her hotel room."

I clasped my hand against my mouth now definitely knowing that this dumb idiot definitely did do the deed. Oh my God...He gave food poisoning to my sister. Why would he do that? And why would he make me dress up for the club if all along he had intentions to get the plan cancelled by making my sister ill? This man is a mystery I am telling you...Someone who cannot be predicted.

I felt my temper rise hating what he had done. I cannot believe he could stoop so low. This is not the man I know. I slammed my heels loudly on the ground and lunged towards him. Grabbing his arm, I forced him towards me only to see him holding a sinister shade not seen before. He smirked without remorse and rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Shivaay...why would you do that to my sister? I cannot believe you got her sick! You are wrong Shivaay...absolutely wrong and God I am so upset with you! Never would I think you would do this! Do you know how much you mean to me? Do you know how much respect I give you and what place you hold in my life?! And now I am on the verge of losing all of it because I am so damned upset you would hurt my sister!"

"Shhh!" He raised his palm up to silence me. A fire burned in his eyes as he snarled at me like the monster he was. He grabbed my arm and pushed me gently back on to the Ottoman. I trembled slightly from sensing the anger that was growing out of him.

Suddenly, he grabbed my arms with a tight force making me shriek. We were an inch apart, but he towered above me to show his control that he liked to have.

"Listen to me. Arti is not your sister. If she was then she would not have betrayed you. If she was your sister she would not disrespect you, but love you. But she does not. She never loved you darling. She is just a bitch who stole your fiancé...a bitch who brought you to her wedding to see you suffer...a bitch who never finds peace in your happiness, but ways to ruin it..."

He bladed the truth through my heart ensuring to lift out pieces of love I carried for my sister...not wanting her to even have a place in it. A knotted tension erupted within me. I found myself at a loss not knowing how to respond because he was speaking the truth. He had a point, but then still she is my blood. How can I let anyone hurt her?

"Even though what she has done to me is wrong Shivaay, but she is still my sister. She just is misguided and is doing all of this out of childishness...But what you did was wrong!-"

"Before deciding what is wrong or right...first realize the injustices that have happened to you. Someone cannot be childish to a point that they seduce and steal their sister's fiancé. By the way, your sister did a favor on you by separating you from that low life, asshole...Anyways, she was wrong still, but what is worse is that she has no guilt and continues to hurt you. She has an agenda to ruin you Anika and that is a fact. Tell me...have you ever felt loved by her? Does she love you the way you love her as her elder sister?"

I lowered my gaze in shame realizing that the relationship I was fighting for against the one man, who dared to give me shelter at my worst, might not be worth the argument and anger. If I look back in my past to find one moment when I felt loved by Arti, I don't think I will find one. He is right. She has always despised me for some odd reason. I always loved her and protected her, but she never did the same to me ever.

"Your eyes are saying everything Anika. You yourself know you are not loved by her and maybe anyone else besides me...Truth is you only have me. Only I am here for you..." He whispered the grim truth to me before capturing my lips for another kiss.

Tears lavished out of me as I took an immediate hold of his neck and pushed myself up against him. My mind telling me it was wrong to be with a man like him who could harm others, but my heart not listening.

I do not know what is right or wrong at the moment. All I know is that he is the only one I have and the thought of losing him is unbearable. I want him to myself. He is special. Probably worth more than anyone else in my life...because he is the one who has dared to give me a home when I am at my worst.

He pressed his knee on top of my thigh and pushed me lightly against the wall. Our hands collapsing into one on the edge of the ottoman chair as we deepened the kiss. I moved my lips gradually against his to suck every drip of his lethal taste that drove my senses wild. He seemed impatient and tried to hasten the kiss driven by hunger. I wanted to retrieve and let go, but I could not. I continued to lead him into a longing kiss not ready to break apart.

"I love it when you kiss me like this..." He let go to catch his breath. I attempted to smile though feeling utterly guilty of how I was kissing and adoring a man who had harmed by sister. God...what am I doing? I should be upset with him and teaching him between right and wrong. So, why am I not saying anything?

"Hmm...and I love it when you become this kind man who is sweet and adorable...not Mr. Khadoos or Mr. Pooping Man!" I pinched his cheeks as I threw the insult at him.

He furrowed his eyebrows and gave me a warning look. "Mr. Popping Man?! What the fuck?!"

I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards me. "Well you do give people free diarrhea so you are Mr. Pooping Man! The superhero who saves constipated citizens by giving them diar-r-hea!" I sung the insult and pushed him back gently letting him know who is boss.

He grumbled angrily and looked away to avoid my gaze. Grabbing the wardrobe open, he pulled out a fresh pair of clothes and continued to ignore me. Of course, he did the deed. That guilty look says it all. He did give Arti food poisoning.

Gosh, why is he like this? Arti does deserve shit, literally, for what she has done to me, however, this is the wrong way of doing such. Shivaay is wrong in this case and he needs to realize.

"As I said I did not give food poisoning to Arti. Alright? Call me whatever you want because I know that I did not do it..." He smartly emphasized his "I's" because he was telling half of the truth.

"Doesn't mean you did not hire someone else to lace Arti's food and make her ill Mr. Oberoi."

He stopped in his tracks briefly and turned towards me to reveal a worried expression. I smirked and crossed my arms at him clearly able to gauge that I had spoken the truth. Wow, do I have that much an effect on him that he is able to confess his sins to me? Never have I seen this man be guilty of anything until now.

Raising his hand, he placed it gently against my neck. My heartbeat paused as I found myself mesmerized by the softness of his eyes that revealed bits of his humanity. He lightly smiled and leaned in to kiss my forehead in an attempt to make amends.

"Anika you mean the world to me. I never have felt this way towards any woman until you came into my life. I feel a need to protect you and guard you from this world that is not made for people like you who are too innocent for it...You have seen me the way no one else has, so you have to believe in me and know that I am not a man of cruelty, but one who does justice. And when it comes to you, I will ensure you get justice against every person who has dared to harm you..." His voice dropped into a low volume as he attempted to surpress a wave of emotions that were daring to reveal his truest, deepest feelings for me.

A tear traced itself down my cheek. I sighed to relieve myself of burdening guilt I felt from not reprimanding him and allowing him to weave a web around my heart. I know he is not heartless. I have seen that kind, considerate side of his. The way he takes care of me in the smallest ways possible and ensures I am at comfort...the way he listens to me and does not judge...the way he is compassionate towards me...He is perfect. Almost.

"But I am tired Shivaay. I don't want to fight against anyone or get justice. I just want peace in my life...with you. Be the man that you truly are. Don't resort to such ill ways of hurting others. Please...don't disappoint me." I leaned in against his palm to let my tears run on to his skin and elicit his humanity that I know he has deep down inside of him.

He observed my tears carefully not saying a word, but contemplating upon what I had spoken. His eyes softened and his palm tightened its grasp around my cheek only to entangle it into my waves.

"I-I have been disappointed too many times in my life Shivaay by everyone I have trusted and loved...and now I am scared you might do the same thing. That is what scares me. Because the thing is for the first time I have given myself so much to someone and that is you. If you do the same thing that others have done then I...don't know what I will do. I just don't."

Tears lavished themselves out of me as I looked away immediately from him not liking how I was showing this vulnerable side of mine to him. It's wrong to be so vulnerable to a man I have only met a few days ago. God, what am I doing? What has gotten into me? I should be yelling at him and pushing him away for daring to hurt my sister, however, I am still holding on to him somewhere thinking he will change.

My eyes wandered to the dressing table's mirror where they fell upon the sindoor that marked me.

Anika...look at this sindoor. All your life you waited for the day to come when a man, chosen by God, would fill this sacred sindoor in your maang and make you his forever. A sindoor is not defined by marriage or vows. It has a deeper meaning. Being marked by this sacred symbol is decided by fate...God decides soulmates and the decided soulmate marks one with this symbol. God has decided Shivaay for me. This decision was made for a reason and I cannot abandon him. I have to fulfill the duties given by this sindoor...I must save him...change him...and make him the kind man he truly is deep down inside.

"Anika, I will never break you. I will not do that. You matter to me more than anything and anyone. Breaking you would hurt me the most. So never ever think that. Everything I do is for you. And I...am speaking the truth that I did not give food poisoning to Arti. I did not do it. I was just joking...and you took it too seriously! I would never do...anything...that I know will upset you because you are important to me. Only you hold meaning in my life." He strung a chord within me and melted the anger and frustration I carried.

His words enough to give me hope that he would not change on me like others did. That he will respect me and my wishes...and be the man I want him to be. I really do wish he will not let his demons overpower him and drive him on to ill paths. Somewhere I have hope that maybe for me he might change.

And now he has spoken the truth. How can I even think he could harm my sister? He knows I will not take it lightly if someone hurts my loved one. Despite what has happened in the past, Arti is still my sister.

He looked at me with softened eyes as he wiped my tears away. Caressing my cheeks lightly, he leaned in and sealed his promise with a kiss on my temple.

"Now I had already made this plan before we decided to go to the club with those morons that you call family. Actually before we even boarded the plane to Goa, I had already made all these arrangements. It's just that I did not cancel and I am thankful for that. Now how about you wear this gift and get ready for our special night where it will only be you and me...jaan," He spoke in a husky, seductive voice that was quite a change compared to his usual monotone, deep voice. I turned bright red as I met his gaze that was looking at me shamelessly in desire.

Hell, that look of his. That damned smile and those bewitching eyes say it all. Mr. Oberoi is definitely in the mood for romance tonight and I cannot wait to see this new shade of his. It's always been physical intimacy for us, but for the first time...he is willing to take a step ahead and further strengthen our relationship. And I love that.

"Uff...Mr. Romantic Singh Oberoi is out for a hunt tonight. Me likey...Hehehe..." I whispered teasingly as I snaked my arms around his neck. He rolled his eyes and let out a chuckle appearing annoyed by how he was being labeled at "romantic" since that is such a tarnish on his hi-fi image of being a mawali goon.

"Cheesy much jaan? Stop behaving like a teenager!" He flipped the statement back towards me. I pretended to gasp and be offended, though, I agreed I had dipped my words in too much cheese.

"Blah! Blah! Says the man who throws cheesy poetic lines at me all day..." I rolled my eyes and snatched myself away from him.

"And night..." He completed my sentence. I immediately blushed and turned away to grab the gift bag he had given me.

I hate how he traps me in my own words. Darn him.

"By the way, if I remember clearly, it was my poetry that made you fall flat for me. Remember that night at the party? Baby, you fell hard when I threw those lines at you. Hell you kissed me. What a hot first kiss that was." He collapsed on to the Ottoman in front of me and whistled loudly.

Continuing to turn many shades of red, I collapsed the gift bag tightly around my stomach trying to suppress the butterflies I was getting. I want to seriously punch that beautiful face of his and I'll be darn I would have done it if it was someone else. Damn those good looks and damn him for speaking the truth.

That stupid poetry of his did do a number on me. I won't lie. Poetry sexified him a thousand times more.

"Yeah w-well...um...you kissed me first! You took me to the winery or whatever! I bet you just took me there to kiss me!" I stomped my heels and began to walk out of the closet. He quickly got up and rushed after me like he was enjoying out pettiful argument.

"Okay well...the kiss was not part of the plan. However, the champagne being sprayed upon you might have been..."

My hand paused on the bathroom door knob as a shock went through me. The memory of that night rushed back and I began to remember how he had taken me down to the room where all the alcohol was stalked...then he sprayed me with champagne...and somehow that made me all hot and I felt hot and then I...he...oh gosh.

"What?! You did that on purpose?!" I grabbed his collar angrily as he revealed a guilty look. He scratched the back of his neck and appeared to tremble nervously. Woah...is this man scared of me? Hain?

"L-look. I was drunk and when people are drunk they stupid things. It's not my fault you were looking like a sex siren that night in that stupid saree. Frankly, I did not know a saree could make a woman look like that until I saw you...and then your curves! Those damned curves caught my attention...and then everything else did... and my drunk mind just came up with this foolish fantasy of you dripping wet in champagne and you and I...you know...um..." He began to stammer not able to complete his lewd confession. I cringed in disgust from what I had just heard. His cliched idiocy making me want to vomit. What in the wild horse goes on in this man's mind?

"You wanted to bang me that night? In the winery?" I whispered quietly not even wanting the walls to hear us. He bit his lip and immediately looked away in shame.

My jaw dropped to the floor as I leaned back against the bathroom door. I felt angry regarding the intentions he had towards me that night, but somewhere also happy. It feels good to know that I was able to attract a rich, powerful man to a point he was desperate to have me and resort to such cheap tricks. Wow. If I could make him weak in his knees so fast at our first meet, I wonder what we will do for me now as I am now completely his?

"Anika honestly I was not in my senses and when I found out I was your first kiss after Ayaan...I felt guilty and I backed away..." He muttered in his defense appearing fearful I was going to bail on him.

Anika...first time fate has given you such good luck. God is giving you a chance to escape your miserable life through this man. He will give you whatever you want...you desire...and best part is beyond being just rich, he makes you feel special. Love is not needed. Having luxury and being at peace is enough to lead a good life.

"Wah...and here I thought I knew you. I wonder what other things you have done to manipulate me Shivaay? I wonder what other games you have played with me..." I pretended to be angry even though I was not.

"Anika why would you say that? You know how much you mean to me..." He spoke in a manipulative manner. I could tell he was attempting to fool with my mind seen in those mischevious eyes.

I smirked and tugged on his collar firmly to bring him at my eye level. He revealed a devious smile indicating that he was unhinged by me. Nothing fazed him at this moment.

"Hmmm...well we will see how much I mean to you tonight. Just know I do not get impressed that easily. In fact, this is actually our first official date not just our first special night together. So, I will say buckle up literally and metaphorically and be ready to be on top of it tonight." I declared in a dramatic tone and set the challenge before him. He too shall know I do not submit so easily and he must work hard to win my heart.

He let out a chuckle and shook his head like I had made a foolish statement. He sighed and pushed the bathroom door open before nudging me gently inside of it.

"Don't worry Ms. Malhotra. I am confident that this will be the best date of your life. You will never forget our first special night together. I can assure you that. I promise I will be top of everything...including you," He whispered the dirty line to me. I gasped and began to blush furiously realizing what he meant.

"You are just..."

"Just what?" He raised his eyebrows up and down teasingly. Letting out a loud grumble, I grabbed the door ready to slam it on his face.

"So desperate and horny all the time! You sexualize everything! Ugh! I cannot even have a normal conversation with you! Now go get ready and let me get ready quickly!" I shut the door at his face as he erupted into laughter behind it.

I formed a shy smile, though, still feeling mortified from the mere thought of what he had in store for me tonight. He is insane that I know, so how can I expect this date will be normal? Damn it. I cannot be a loser and doing something lame for him. He's worth of getting something special.

I giggled from imagining all the crazy ways I could make him feel special. Anika you have great ideas, but for now focus on the date! This is both of your guys' first date. Focus.

My smile widened as I opened the gift bag to see what he just intended for me to wear for our first night together.

Shivaay's Point of View

I have been disappointed too many times in my life Shivaay by everyone I have trusted and loved...and now I am scared you might do the same thing.

The cufflinks clicked loudly as I strung them on my wrists. Drawing my watch up my wrist, I chained myself to it.

Her tears continued to swirl in front of my vision. The sounds of the cracks her weakened voice made repeated in my ears. A sense of heaviness swarmed me, though, I attempted to push it away knowing the decision I have made is right.

You are not hurting her Shivaay. Absolutely not. You are giving her justice that she deserves and still in her innocence have failed to realize. She will not be disappointed in you once you reveal her what you did when the time is right. Once Anika gains some maturity and direction in her life, then tell her what you did and she will understand. She has to.

Tracing my hand to the buttons of my white shirt, I began to close them quickly knowing it was best to leave this resort tonight and not return until the deed is done. I smirked and glanced into the mirror. My gaze falling on to the shade of red that stained my thumb.

The image of I filling Anika's maang made my heart drop many beats. I felt my soul shudder not having liked how I had dared to give value to a meaningless ritual, but little did it know that I made this decision in my complete senses, not impulse.

Birds never leave a cage if they are fed, taken care of, and given love.

A small smile brushed across my lips as I opened my wallet to admire the photograph it contained. Dust had collected upon it due to years of being trapped in the small flap of plastic, but the person in the image had not aged one bit.

https://youtu.be/5efpbSkZ7l4

She held a warm smile that was mesmerizing, enchanting...A smile that had given me a thousand deaths from years of me admiring it from afar. Her brown hues twinkled in the sunlight that cascaded on to her chestnut brown waves which she held firmly in her hand while in the other she cherished the bouquet of red roses she had gotten.

My heart fluttered from the memory incited by the photograph. How can I forget that beautiful evening when you were mine? Only you and I at Horizon Falls...where we both forever became one...each other's soulmates.

Running my fingers through my hair, I looked back towards the bathroom door which was still shut. I immediately grabbed my phone as I began to scroll through it nervously not wanting her to come out and catch this secret. Now is not the right time for her to find out the truth.

I smiled and clicked a video from the past wanting to relive the memory. A scenery of water falls slowly revealed itself with the figure spinning behind it. Her eyes reddened with her hair lazingly flying away against the wind. She giggled as she threw the bouquet of red roses against the camera.

Flashback (Four Years Ago)

"What are you doing?! Stop filming muaaah! Me wants to have fun!" She broke into a tirade of laughs as she pressed her lips against the camera. My chuckle entering the video as I began to stalk her with the camera. She giggled and flips her hair to the back to expose the deep neck of her red dress.

"I have to keep memories now! Who knows? You might just forget me!" I teased as she immediately turned and gave me a seductive smile. She sighed and began to back into the water fall behind her. Without any hesitation, she slipped underneath the stream of water allowing it to soak every piece of her body she wanted me to paint with passion.

"That will never happen Shivaay...I can never forget you. You are my everything..." She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the camera's perspective. Our eyes meeting each other as we began to drown into each other. I caressed her cheek lightly while eyeing her plump red lips that begged for a kiss.

"Really? And what if something happens that will make you forget me forever?" I questioned with fear clearly heard in my voice.

Her eyes softened for a moment not able to even phantom the possibility of this happening. She formed a comforting smile and looked towards the camera in my hand. Letting out a childish giggle, she immediately pulled me into a hug while letting the waterfall slowly soak us wet.

"That will never happen. I can never forget the man who saved me and gave me a new life. Now only you are important to me and no one else. You are mine and I am yours' even fate cannot separate us...Ani-"

Before she could complete the sentence, I immediately pulled her into a kiss not able to hold back my feelings any longer. We smiled against each other's lips and deepened the kiss. My hand letting go of the camera as I entwined it into hers. Taking a strong hold of her hand, I pulled her into my arms and picked her up in the air. Laughter escaped from us as we both began to disappear from the vision of the camera.

"Shivaay stop! Let go of me! We will fall and the baby will get hurt!" She shrieked in my arms loudly and began to squirm wanting to be freed. I continued to laugh and twirl her around in sheer happiness. It had been long since I had been that happy and in peace.

"Nothing will happen to our baby! Now stop ruining the mood! We have a long night ahead...sweetheart!" I screamed in joy as she shrieked once again and erupted into giggles once again.

"How many times have I told you to not call me sweetheart?! It's so annoying and cliché! I am Anika! Sirf Anika! Now let me go!" She slapped my back angrily. I chuckled and drifted my gaze down to the small bump that peeked underneath her dress.

"Nah... Tonight I am not letting go of you easily..." I muttered against her lips wanting to take hold of them again. She began to blush furiously and wrapped her hand tightly around her womb.

"Baby will see..." She whispered in worry as I let out a laugh upon catching the hint of desire in her brown hues.

"We will be careful..." I spoke in a hushed tone not wanting the little one to hear us. Letting the silence dance, I tightened my grasp and pulled her into my arms.

She formed a demure smile and buried herself into my arms as I swung her underneath the waterfall before disappearing into it. Our lips collided and dived into whiskered, wet kisses. The water soaked our bodies wet as entwined and merged against the wall of the cave.

"I love you....Shivaay..." Anika whispered breathlessly against my lips. Tears lavished our eyes since we both were surprised by her confession. My heartbeats dropped due to overwhelming fear considering love is a path that I never took nor thought it would ever open up for me. Hesitation filled me up since I did not know love, however, the mere sight of her cradling my baby in her womb was enough for me to accept her love and let the silence play.

She sighed and understood that I would not be able to reciprocate, but such did not push her away. Giving me a warm smile, she wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled me closer into her embrace.

"It's okay...I can wait. We have our whole lives ahead to explore this sacred feeling called love...after all, now this is not just about you and me, but our baby...and I know for our baby, we will give love a chance. Right?"

She looked at me with hope which I did not want to break. "Yes...let's explore love." I grabbed her chin and smashed my lips into hers with full force.

Hunger bulged out of me as lust roared with our bodies colliding only to fall against the wall of the cave. Her hands ripping the buttons off my shirt as I drew her dress off of her shoulders. Our palms molding into one as we dragged them up against the cold, empty walls of the cave.

The sound of the waterfalls merged with our moans as we gave up our shame and began to dive into the sheets of love.

Flashback Ends

A tear scattered on to her picture that stood still in time on my phone. My mind beginning to spin due to the sheer memories of the past that were coming to the surface after years. The past still vivid and so its wounds.

Running my hands against her photograph on the screen of my phone, I kissed it tenderly like I. had done for years.

I cannot believe I lost you Anika. I curse myself for losing you due to my misdeeds, but look life is giving us another chance. Finally, we can reunite once again and this time forever. Thank God, you don't remember or else God knows whether you would have given me a chance to come close to you again.

Somewhere, deep down inside, you might still love me. Knowing you, I don't think you would have surrendered to me so easily if it was no the feelings of the lingering past that still live within you despite you not remembering it. No wonder, you gave me your virginity. Subconsciously, you recognized me and once again dived into love...

The question how Anika got pregnant despite being a virgin shall be answered in a later memory because at this moment that is not a matter of concern. That too shall be revealed when the time is right. What matters now is winning her.

She has always been mine. And so today, I have taken the first step to make her mine. This sindoor may hold no value for me, but I know how much it means to you. That bastard, Ayaan dared to take my place in your life and because of him you lost your faith in love since you only have his memories. If you had mine, then I know that you would have not even dared to love that Ayaan and only loved me despite the anger and animosities you may have held towards me.

Khair...you and I meeting again is fate and I know my Rabb will not betray me this time. Rabb will guide me and support me on this path of winning you again.

I smirked and lifted the phone against my ear having remembered the urgent task I had on hand.

"Anika and I are leaving and we will be out for the entire night and tomorrow morning. You have enough time to get this job done that I have paid you a good amount for. I want to hear Arti's screams. Do you understand? I want her to go through the same level of pain she has inflicted on my Anika all these years. Now get the fuck to work," I hissed the orders to the man on the other line. He let out a sinister laugh and accepted the command.

"Liked the work I did in giving her food poisoning?"

My smirk widened as I looked back towards the bathroom door to see Anika's shadow creep behind it.

"That was professional work right there. A job well done. Now, go and do this task for me and I will pay you extra if it is done in a good manner as well..." I slammed my phone shut as I heard the door open behind me.

I raised my bloodied gaze up towards her to reveal an infernal smile. Euphoric pleasure filled every beat my heart struck incited from the thought of the destruction I was going to bring in every person's life who dared to hurt my Anika. Tonight, is when I will begin to set the stage for their reckoning and once I fully win Anika, we both will drown them in such a poison that they will beg for mercy, but will never get it.

"Kya hua? Khoobsurat nahi lagri mein?" Her sweet, melodic voice pulled me out of my trance. I broke into a soft smile and rolled my eyes not liking how she always thought low of herself.

I let my gaze cascade down to admire the sheer layers of sea blue green that draped her luscious olive skin which rolled out into elegant curves. The layers of chiffon gently unraveled to reveal many glimpses of her sensuous body that was marked and painted with love bites. She nervously bit her swollen, red lips as she flipped her damp, wet hair to the side letting the water hit my eyes.

Now that is a sex siren right there.

I felt my breaths hitch and my heart crash. A bulge began to grow within me as desires hit overdrive. Her saree's pallu slipped down to reveal the bikini top she wore that barely covered her secrets. I noticed the two buds erect on her bosom to reveal the throbbing hunger that was growing with her...a hunger to consume me.

Her eyes widened as she immediately pulled her pallu up and looked away in embrrassment. "Why does this always happen to me?! Stupid sarees! This is why I hate wearing them! You never know when they will drop and say 'hello world, look at this naked being'!"

I erupted into immediate laughter and slid my hands on to her waist. She pouted just like the cute button she was and threw me a glare not liking how I had made her wear a saree tonight. But, what can I say? Her not being able to handle a saree is the biggest turn on.

"Stupid saree! And stupid and duffer me for wearing it despite knowing how pathetic I look in it. Even you know I am looking like a dumbo which is why you have not even complimented me yet! Ughhh!" She clenched her small fists tightly and slammed them against my hands.

I sighed and pulled her closer into my chest to let her know she was desired. I rested my lips against the nape of her neck and, without a thought, began to layer her with soft, light kisses to take a sip of her sweetness. She melted instantly into my embrace as she formed a faint smile.

"And tonight finally, the moon has set its light upon the barren desert of my heart. A desert that has been begging for mercy for years may just find it's light. This desert has bled a thousand times every night...has been aching due to rotten wounds, but not anymore. Tonight, that desert has found grace in the form of a beautiful light that now will only be his...Anika..."

And indeed, tonight, she will forever be mine. Before, her body was claimed by me, but not her soul. However, tonight, I have initiated the tying of the threads between our hearts through this drop of blood...this sindoor. And as we will unite under the guise of the moonlight, with her wearing my sindoor, we will forever become one and never part unlike before.

Anika's Point of View

If only you knew Shivaay, you are my saving grace. God knows why you find a withered rose like me worthy of being treasured. Can you not notice the deadly thorns I wear in forms of wounds I have begotten from those I loved? Can you not see that, perhaps, I will never be able to give you the love that you unknowingly desire, but deny in wanting it.

I don't know what it is, but I feel this strong connection with you Shivaay and because of such I cannot see you hurting and craving for love. I don't want to hurt you by not being able to love you, yet, I do not even want to let go of you because for the first time in my life have I felt wanted.

"I hope now you feel khoobsurat after hearing a shayar especially written for you by me..." He whispered gently against my ear. An immediate blush set itself off upon my cheeks as I let out a shy giggle and buried myself into the warmth of his chest. My arms wrapped tightly around him to make sure I was not dreaming, but truly had found the man God had destined for me.

"Aap aur aap ki shahyari...kisi din shayad jaan lekhre rahe gi meri..." I quipped as I giggled and planted a kiss on his nose.

He clasped his palm against my lips not wanting me to speak more. Tears filled in his eyes with fear running rapidly across him.

"Don't you dare say that! How can you say that Anika?! I can never even imagine losing you and here you are talking about your death in such a light manner!"

Confusion filled me from not being able to understand why he had gotten so angry over a mere joke I had cracked.

"Jaan, I was just joking! Gosh you are too serious sometimes!" I slapped his shoulder lightly and slipped away to get my small black clutch from the bed.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him to reveal a hint of his anger mixed with unease. "Well don't you dare ever find humor in such a serious thing. I cannot even imagine losing you and here you are speaking so lightly of death. I pray nothing ever happens to you and you even get my life...I pray when it comes to death, I am the first one who is taken before you."

My eyes widened in shock from hearing his prayer. A small tear slipped away from me and fell across my smile. My heart fluttered as I took a hold of his neck and drew him towards me wanting to ensure I had heard him correctly.

He gave me a tearful smile and ran his fingers gently through my waves. "I am ready to lose the world and everything I have if it means to have you forever Anika. I only want you Anika and the thought of not having you scares me."

A small gasp escaped from me having not expected such a confession. My heart fluttered in surprise considering it never had seen this realm of love that Shivaay was introducing it to.

Love. Is wanting your death before someone due to one being in love them? Is wanting to give up everything for one person due to love? Why do I feel he is in love with me? And if he is...then why is he not fighting with me over my desire to never love him or any other man?

I did not know how to respond, but decided to give him some hope that he too was longed by me like I was by him. I took a strong hold of his neck and before he could speak, I smashed my lips against his. He moaned instantly in pleasure from tasting me. Our lips slowly began to explore each other wanting to hunt for the bits of love that was now sprouting its roots within us. The kiss slow, yet, tender that did not hold an animalistic hunger, but a sorrowful yearning. He continued to agonize me with his soft hydraulic kisses as he led me towards the door and pushed me against it. Our hands merged into one as he pressed them against my bare waist and caressed it lovingly. We let out a small laugh having remembered the incident in the winery where we had shared a similar first kiss. He sighed and continued to deepen the kiss not ready to let go soon, though, we both were getting exhausted.

I barely escaped from him to catch a breath only to be caught off guard. He submerged his lips on to the side of my neck and began to torture me with ripe, wet kisses.

"How did I get so lucky?" My eyes rolled back as I heaved and quaked against his body. He sighed and looked up at me in annoyance.

"No babe. The question is how did I get so lucky to get a woman like you...My noor." He chuckled and threw me against his waist. I lowered my gaze in shyness finding myself speechless by the sudden amount of compliments I was being drowned in.

"Uff...you and your blushing. Fuck, let's just get out of here already! I cannot take you not naked any longer!" His bold statement making me gasp in shock as I slammed my elbow into his chest. He howled in pain not having expected this response. I giggled and grabbed open the door to make my way out.

"You are such a cheapda and besharam! For once try to hold a conversation with me that does not involve sex! Just once...please!" I taunted at him in complete annoyance. He smirked and ran his hand into mine.

"Acha ji? If not sex then what will you like to talk about?" He snatched a kiss from my cheek and ran his palm across my bare waist. His fingers drew circles around my hip in an attempt to allure me.

"Mr. Oberoi, last time I remembered, you are the leader of this date since you have planned a special night for us. So, who am I to advice you on what a perfect special first night entails between a couple? You should already know what a woman wants Mr. Casanova and ex-womanizer considering the experience you have had with women." I snapped my fingers right at face and turned on my heel in a dramatic way. Flipping my hair against his face, I began to swing my hips left and right in a seductive manner.

"Oh really? Madam is challenging me huh?!" He called after me as I giggled and twirled back towards him. My pallu throwing itself in the air to expose my blue sringy, skimpy bikini top to him once again. I turned red as I drew it up and wrapped the chiffon fabric around my shoulders not liking the exposure.

"Fuck that is hot!" He began to take wide steps towards me. I stumbled and began to back off towards the elevator doors. His eyes drabbled quickly up and down upon me to take in the sight of my skimpy bikini that was barely covered by the thin fabric of my saree. I nervously ran my fingers through my damp hair and avoided his piercing gaze that was making me feel self conscious.

He is probably observing how fat I am. I mean look at me. There are literally doughnut shaped rolls falling off of me like they are on a "buy 1 get 1 free sale". Stupid bikini. I tugged on the thin string behind my neck to make sure it was still in tact. What if this piece of crap just falls off? Oh my gosh. What if I am just walking and my top falls off? Hell no. This is the exact reason why I have never worn a bikini because of that fear and because in no shape or form, I have a bikini body.

Shivaay slammed his hand against the elevator button before taking a step closer towards me. Our eyes briefly meeting to reveal a dim fire of lust that continued to crackle inside of us.

"Don't worry if the top falls off. Where we are going, we will have enough privacy...people will be there, but I think they won't give a damn about us since they will be busy..." His statement setting off my curiosity. What place is this? What will they be busy doing? Now I definitely want to know where we are heading off for our special night.

"How do you read my mind so easily?" I questioned as he let out a laugh and shrugged his shoulders.

"Magic Ms. Malhotra. Don't think that much or else it will take you an entire lifetime to figure out what connection we have that allows me to hear that voice of your soul which you rarely allow to speak, but do let it reign you and your every move." An air of mystery surrounded him. His eyes darkened and he played a peculiar, demonic smile on his lips.

There is more to this man than I know. He has many layers that remain to be unpeeled and picked upon. If only he could be more open to me, I might just figure out the true cause behind that painful smile and tear ridden eyes he attempts to hide from the world, but cannot from me.

"You are so creepy sometimes. You remind me of those old perverted men who are horny all the time and on the lookout for young girls to fool, so they could sleep with them. Only old men have this ability to know what a woman wants and thinks, so I am not surprised by your so-called magic."

Shivaay raised his eyebrows and took a step closer. His hands slipping around my hips to pull me against his pelvic bone. The brush of his manhood ignited a violent, fierce throbbing beneath my waist.

"You know what old creepy men do after they lure a woman?" He spoke in a dark voice. I shivered and attempted to play off a smile not wanting him to see that I was slightly scared.

"N-no.."

His smirk widened as he tightened his grasp around my waist. His nails dug deeply into my skin and marked it red. I let out a giggle from feeling ticklish under his touch. He scorned not liking how I was not intimidated by him.

"They get kidnapped." Suddenly, he lifted me up in the air making me shriek. I gasped in shock and began to slam my fists against his back.

"Shivaay stop! What are you doing?!" I screamed while he erupted into laughter. He began to twirl me around as I shrieked in fear from falling.

"I am kidnapping you baby!" He teased and continued to twirl me in the air before hitting the elevator doors open.

I began to giggle now giddy from the fun we were having. He bounced me up and down in his arms while I hit his shoulders jokingly pretending to be a damsel in distress.

"Help! This man is kidnapping me!" I dramatically slapped my hand against my forehead and looked out into the empty hallway where no soul was in sight. He rolled his eyes and led me into the elevator.

"Nope it's just her husband kidnapping her guys! She was misbehaving so he is now going to teach her a lesson!" He pretended to look onto an invisible crowd of people inside of the elevator.

"Hmm...so I am going to get punished tonight for my bad behavior?" I formed a pout and batted my eyelashes at him to be a "bechari biwi" that I definitely was not.

I let out a childish giggle and tightened my grasp around his neck. He hit his temple against mine and took a hold of my cheek to look at me lovingly. We let our laughter pause for a moment and admire each other.

"Yes...tonight husband will give you a punishment that you will beg to have every night after this," He spoke in a low, husky voice that was enough to give birth to butterflies within me. Hell, he just impregnated me with butterflies. LOL...me crazy.

"Then it's not a punishment if I will desire it every night." I played with the double meaning knowing exactly what he was referring to. He tapped his finger lightly against my lips wanting me to shut it and listen to him.

"How about we discuss about this so-called punishment later when we get to it baby? Let's go step by step. First date then...."

"Then?" I tilted my head like a lost puppy not being able to understand his intentions one bit.

He formed a devilish smile and patted my cheek liking my innocence. "Then learning to be husband and wife..." He whispered the wild thought to me. My body freezing instantly as I looked at him in complete utter shock not able to believe what I had just heard from him...the very man who did not believe in this sacred institution.

My heart fluttered from remembering how he just called himself as my husband and claimed we will explore this bond tonight. Did he just say that or was that a figment of my imagination? Before I could even make sense of such, he took a hold of my lips and pulled me into an innocent kiss.

Our heartbeats began to thud loudly against each other. Pure rapture and ecstasy suddenly consumed the both of us. Our hands entwining into each other's hair as he barely held me up against the wall of the elevator. My lips weakening against his that began to gorge upon mine hungrily. It was as if he was begging me to accept this idea of his...to accept myself as his unwedded bride.

My lips slipped against his as he pulled me back into a ripe kiss. The wetness of his mouth smothered me with a deep craving to consume him fully and intoxicate myself with his narcotic taste. We pulled and tugged on each other's lips by biting or even scratching with our nails. Slamming me against the wall, he began to overpower me with violent, untamed kisses that left me breathless.

"Biwi...you are driving me crazy. You are the first woman...to make me lose myself and my senses in such a way that even I cannot control it not matter...how hard I try..." He rasped as he continued to puncture me with hasteful, desperate kisses.

Biwi. The word numbing me and driving my heart down an empty cliff into the lake of forbidden love. I began to shake under his grasp completely lost and not knowing what to say. Did he just call me his biwi? Does he even know the meaning of this word? My God, I should stop him...this is not right. We are losing our minds. Marriage is so sacred and divine...and here we are setting that institution on fire and questioning every bit of it by taking vows without a priest, putting a sindoor without a witness, and daring to become one without love.

This is chaotic. This is wrong.

Yet, I am not able to stop myself. Yet, I feel this is right...that this man is who God has decided to make my soulmate. I feel as if I have known my Shivaay for long and that all my life I was truly waiting for him...waiting to be his.

Though aware I would be wrong to respond back to the kiss, I still did not listen to my reasoning. I took a grasp of his cheeks and pulled him into a soft, languid kiss. His mouth opened against mine and we began to entwine our tongues and take hits of the drug of lust that we both had sowed within us. I know it is wrong to dive into this chaotic, impure relationship, but then I might just die if I lose this last bond that has given me hope that I too am wanted by someone.

We smiled against each other's lip and collapsed against the elevator wall. Not letting go of each other, we continued to snatch quick, sonorous kisses from each other.

The elevator doors appeared to open and I immediately pushed Shivaay away. We turned only to be surprised to see the group of people in front of us. There stood Ayaan fuming and seething with anger as he eyed Shivaay's hands that remained planted on my hips. Jealousy raked him red as he clenched his fists and cracked his knuckles loudly like he was ready to attack the man who held me in his arms. Priyanka and Falguni threw a disgusted look from catching sight of my plunging breasts that were on full display thanks to the tight bikini top. Gauri and Om exchanged glances before giving us a disappointed look clearly not approving Shivaay and my relationship.

"Wow what a wonderful surprise bhai. Not in a million years would I have thought that you and her will end up together...no scratch that...sleep together!" Priyanka sung in a demeaning tone. I lowered my gaze feeling ashamed not liking how my izzat was being beaten upon by a stranger. If she was not Shivaay's sister, I would have punched that Pinocchio nose of hers' and even those fake, plastic breasts.

"Shut up Priyanka! Don't get me started on the rendezvous you have indulged in 'Sugar Yes Please and Animals' are the theme songs of your college years..." Shivaay gritted the insult out of him while barely holding on to his anger.

Priyanka gasped in horror and looked away in embrassment as all eyes turned on her. I slammed my elbow into Shivaay's arm not liking how he had taken on her sexuality. I am all liberal and I will not accept this insult of his sister. He rolled his eyes at me as I threw him a dirty look.

"Hey I am all liberal and I don't give a damn about who you sleep with, but if you dare to talk about my private life in public then don't think I will spare you. You are my sister and that is why I am still holding back. So, stay in your limits," Shivaay threatened as he took a step in front to form a barrier between them and I.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the elevator as we walked through them into the hotel lobby. I faintly smiled liking how he had stood up for me, though, guilt did take over considering how he had insulted his own sister. No I don't like that. If he cannot respect his sister then how can I expect him to respect me in the future? No. I have to show him the right path. Once we are alone, I have to confront him about this.

"Hmm...wow. Shivaay standing up for his girlfriend? Now that is something new," Falguni hissed in jealousy considering she is his neglected ex. Why wouldn't she be envious considering Shivaay full on fledged cheated on her multiple times...and now here he is...a one woman man.

I smirked and flipped my hair back dramatically to smack her right in the face. She shrieked in horror as she stumbled back into Priyanka's arms.

"Tch tch...so sad. Someone is jeaaa-lous right jaan? Do I smell something burning in here?" I threw the taunt to Falguni as I wrapped my hand around Shivaay's arm and snuggled against him. Gauri rolled her eyes at me able to detect I was in the mood of showing off the new man in my life. What's wrong in showing off your man? Especially one who is loaded with money. I do not think there is anything wrong with this.

Falguni's jaw dropped open and appeared flabbergasted not able to form a comeback. Shivaay grinned and raised his head in pride from how I was publicly claiming him as mine without any reservation. He dribbled his hand around my waist and turned me to the side to give Ayaan a full view of what he was missing. Ayaan grumbled as he drew his gaze down to the curves and hills on my body that revealed my skin in a way not seen before. He always hated it when I wore revealing clothes, so I can tell at this moment he is quite furious to see how my Shivaay has leant me this freedom.

"Yeah baby, but it's not Falguni. There are many people who are jealous right now of you and us. Let them be nah. They have no life, so all they can do is bash and bully others who actually are happy and content. Moreover, Shivaay Singh Oberoi only values those who are worthy of him....and you baby are worthy of me unlike other women I have been with..." Shivaay whispered against my lips before leaning down and pressing a loving kiss on the dimple of my chin. I blushed and patted his cheek before looking back at the others who were surprised by our public display of affection.

Shivaay scowled at Ayaan who looked enraged from seeing our intimacy. I can tell Shivaay has his insecurities, but how do I let this idiot know that even Ayaan never has held such an important place in my life that he does. Only he won my heart the way no other man has ever.

A shiver went through as I noticed Ayaan turning the exact shade of red he often did when he would...lay his hand on me. Heat waved through my body setting it on fire as I began to tremble in fear. The sounds of screams entered my ears. A vicious, angry laugh smoldered my skin and pricked needles into the exact spots where I had been wounded by the one man I had loved. Memories of the nights when he raised his hands on me beginning to run before me.

"Well I for one am not jealous. I already have the most beautiful woman in my arms," Ayaan spoke in a cold voice. He reached his hand out as I looked at him in confusion not able to understand. He slyly smiled and looked the other way to welcome a figure from the distance.

"Honey here I am!" The owner of the perky voice making a dramatic entry.

"What the fuck." Shivaay appeared stunned like he was not expecting her one bit.

There she was...the most beautiful woman indeed. She slammed her stilettos loudly against the floor as she swung her thin, elegant figure that dazzled in a sparkly silver dress. Ayaan took Arti's hand in his and stole a kiss from her. I felt my heart slightly burn from the sight not because I was jealous, but having remembered their betrayal.

Shivaay froze in his place appearing appalled and somewhat in panic. I squeezed his hand lightly and gave him a comforting smile to ease any of his worries. He forced a smile towards, though, still appearing in distress.

"You are not sick anymore Arti? Did you not just say you had food poisoning and cancelled the club plans?" Shivaay bombarding Arti with questions who appeared somewhat in discomfort.

"Well, I still am not feeling well. However, Ayaan and everyone else made plans to go out in the outskirts of Goa tonight to get some fresh air and be away from the city. I thought it would be nice for me to get a change of scenery and, perhaps, feel better. Likely, change of environment has caused my upset stomach. Also, this is my bachelorette weekend! How can I just miss out on this?!" Arti continuing her non stop blabbering which further heightened Shivaay's temper. He seemed angry and quite furious for no reason at all.

"Shivaay what's wrong? You seem upset," Falguni chimed and attempted to show fake concern to my man. I threw her a glare and entwined my hand in Shivaay's not wanting him to even soften a slight bit towards that hex.

Shivaay raised his satanic gaze towards everyone. He loathed their presence seen in how he gritted his teeth and snapped his tongue loudly to prey on them.

"Nothing is wrong with me. However, I cannot say such will be the case for my enemies in the near future or even tonight..." He spoke in an eerie voice as if foreshadowing the future of the group in front. A chill went through me feeling a bit creeped out from him.

He let out a wicked laugh and pulled me possessively right into his heart. His hair flew back with his blue eyes twisting into red shades. He appeared borderline manical...as if he was losing his grasp on reality and diving into a schizophrenic delusion.

"Where are you all headed to by the way?" Shivaay questioned curiously to all of them.

They all exchanged looks likely not keen on telling us about the location. As if we give a damn. Shivaay and I have our own plans which involves not a single living soul except us.

"It's a nice restaraunt on the outskirts of Goa located inside of a cave that leads out to an exclusive private waterfall. We all decided to go there and just relax for the night and get away from our worries...A great place to destress and a perfect spot for couples honestly. I really think you and Anika should also come along with all of us. We would love to learn more about your guys' relationship," Gauri spoke as she leaned against Om and exchanged smiles with him. Om for the first time not put off by the idea as he smiled towards his brother Shivaay appearing hopeful he would accept the offer.

That is nice of Gauri to offer us to tag along with them. In fact, I would have it was just her and Om. I seriously feel Shivaay and Om should resolve their differences and this would have been perfect, however, Arti and Ayaan will also be there. I don't think I can spend that many hours with them and bear the torture of seeing them be all lovey dovey and romantic with each other. Perhaps, another night, we can plan a double date with Gauri and Om.

"Of course, you all would go there," Shivaay muttered in annoyance as I looked at him confused not able to understand why exactly he was angry.

Shivaay faked a smile at me and immediately turned me around to lead me out of the lobby. My heels barely holding their balance as I stumbled and slipped along the way. Shivaay not letting go of me once as he tightened his grasp and continued to lead me out of the main doors. He looked anxious and slightly petrified like he was losing a game or a plan was failing. Something definitely is off about Shivaay tonight and I must know what it is.

"Jaan what is wrong? You look really worried. Please tell me what is bothering you," I placed my hand against his cheek as we stopped next to the valet. His eyes softened briefly for a moment before he washed away his worries and placed on his usual poker face. He faintly smile and shook his head at me before signaling the valet to get his car.

"Nothing Anika. I am perfectly fine. It's just bothersome to know that those morons are headed to the exact same place where we are heading off to. I just had made all these plans for our special night which can now be potentially ruined because of those bastards who will be there!" He took a large sigh and pulled me into a hug as if to wash away his anger and frustration. I too felt somewhat upset to hear that our date was now going to be intruded by the psycho gang. Damn it...Just when I thought I would have the perfect date night, it just had to be crushed by them.

"Hell that is a big piss off. Why do we have such bad luck?! Damn it! Now how will we have our first night if your fucking, annoying bimbo ex-girlfriend will be there to oogle and spy on us?! Shivaay! Did you not plan this at all?!" I slapped his shoulder angrily. He formed a guilty expression and pulled out his phone.

"Okay I messed up, but this is not entirely my fault. I did not know they would randomly decide to go to the same place where I had planned our first night. Anyways, let me call the restauraunt and try to figure a way we can avoid them tonight. Alright?" Shivaay planted a kiss on my temple to appease my anger that was still spitting fireballs.

I growled and looked the other direction clearly not in a mood to be coaxed by him. Idiot. Does he not know how much I despise my family and his fucking ex-girlfriend? I cannot even imagine how they will behave once they see us there...likely spy and grind their noses between us...Probably even try to stalk us to our bedroom to see how we have sex. They are psychotic like that.

Shivaay quickly walked away to the side with the phone on his ear. His anger blowing off from the top as he appeared to yell and scream to the person on the other line.

I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around me to keep myself warm from the cold, beach breeze.

"So you both have gotten quite serious eh?" I jumped back startled from the sudden voice that appeared behind my shoulder. Gauri let out a laugh and placed her hand on my shoulder to calm my jitters down.

"Why so scared?! Don't worry I am not massi or massu who is here to punish you for your so-called bad deeds!" She giggled as she referred to my parents who would likely freak out if they find out about Shivaay and my relationship.

She smiled and placed her finger against the parting of my hair. I lowered my gaze shyly knowing that she has caught sight of the small dash of blood...his sindoor...that still decked me.

"Is that sindoor? Did Shivaay bhai fill your maang?"

I bit my lip not knowing how to respond besides just a simple nod. Gauri gasped and appeared astonished never having imagined the possibility of the Shivaay Singh Oberoi daring to even embark on the path of vows and indulge in such a sacred, divine ritual.

"What?! Ohhh my God. Okaaay, what?! You mean Shivaay bhai put sindoor on you...what?! Anika do you even realize the seriousness of this situation?!" Gauri exclaimed in horror as she grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side so others could not hear. Arti and Ayaan looked at us in interest from afar as Gauri dragged me towards a wooden bench.

"Anika! I cannot believe out of all the people I know you would turn out like this! How can you get so serious with Shivaay bhai so fast?! Aren't you supposed to be the logical and rational one? I mean the Anika I know has always been so reasonable and sensible who always palsna and takes important steps after much thought. I cannot even believe you would do something so illogical! Heck, I cannot believe Shivaay bhai would do something so idiotic!" She huffed and puffed in frustration. Clearly, she was disappointed in Shivaay and I. I can tell she is concerned about me considering Shivaay does not have the best reputation. However, if she see's the relationship Shivaay and I share, she might be able to understand why we forged this commitment.

"Look I know you are upset Gauri, but just hear me out before jumping to any conclusions." I pleaded to Gauri who was in no mood to listen.

"Anika...what do you want to say? The truth is you have gotten too serious too soon with a man you just met. I mean...sindoor? Do you even the know the value of sindoor and what meaning it holds in a married woman's life? Do you know what this means?"

My heart paused for a moment as fear rushed through me. Reality finally struck and shook my ground. Tears touched my eyes as they turned back slowly to capture Ayaan and Arti who were exchanging a kiss. Memories of a bitter past swiveled before me that mixed with my beautiful present with the man who claimed me.

I traced the sindoor on my maang and formed a faint smile realizing that Shivaay is the man who accepted me with all my flaws. There was Ayaan who would pick at every flaw and fault of mine...demean me for the littlest things...and punish me even when I was not wrong...And there is Shivaay who accepted me with my empty womb, gave love to my broken soul, and caressed my wounds like they were his.

"Gauri, you are so near and dear to me. I have never seen you as my cousin, but as a younger sister, so please for once just listen to me," I attempted to warm her up since I know she is an understanding person and likely will change her opinion once she hears my story.

"Fine. I am willing to listen, however, that does not mean I will suddenly change my mind and accept you both together." Gauri barely softening up and still fixated upon her opinion. I smiled and wrapped my arm around her to give her a hug.

"Okay now spill! I don't have all night to sit and listen. I am only here actually since Om went to get the car from valet. Now tell me quickly since I have to leave soon."

I let out a nervous laugh and shylyl glanced at Gauri. It feels extremely awkward to even talk about Shivaay considering I never have discussed him and our relationship with anyone until now.

"Well do I have to specially call up the Queen of England to get you talking or what?" Gauri let out a sarcastic laugh as I elbowed her roughly and gave her a playful glare.

"Weeelll, Gauri didn''t you used to behave the same way when I would ask about you and Om jiju when you both dated? You could not even say a sentence properly when talking about your guys' relationship. Hell you were so shy about your honeymoon that till this day I don't know what went down in Rome!"

Gauri groaned from remembering her embrassing days of youthful romance she once indulged in.

"Anika, this is not the time to remember my golden days of romance. Come on now! Just speak woman!" She shook me back and forth impatiently not able to bear my silence any longer.

I let out a giggle and began to blush furiously. My gaze moved back towards Shivaay who stood afar and appeared to be in a deep discussion with the caller on the other end. My sight drifted back towards Ayaan who glanced back at me with interest. I formed a tearful smile and looked back towards Gauri.

"I don't know where to start. All I can say is that...I was broken and searching for a healer who could mend me. I had been living in the darkness since a long time and...I was so comforted by this darkness that I did not realize how lonely I was until...Shivaay entered my life. I knew from the beginning that he was wrong for me. I could tell he was a womanizer, had a big ego, and was not a man known for his manners. He was everything that I never wanted in an ideal partner...yet...here I am telling you how we met and forged this bond that even don't know what it is..." My voice cracked as a tear spilled out of me. I felt my heartbeats drop and crash as the surface of my heart opened and began to gather pieces of that unknown feeling for Shivaay which was growing within me.

"Omg, sweetie are you crying for him?" Gauri pulled me into a hug as I bursted in tears for no reason at all. Fear began to grow within the depths of my heart and rampage upon the subtle feelings of passion...want...and desire that I had formed towards Shivaay. The reminder of how Shivaay picked up my shattered, abandoned being made me feel heavy and served to tell how if he ever walks out on me, I may just become my old, broken self again.

My breaths continued to fall as I wiped my tears away roughly and looked at Gauri to reveal my genuine love for Shivaay...the human one...not the crazy, riveting love, but the one that is formed just on a level of humanity.

"It's just that...h-he makes me feel so good about myself you know. I mean you are aware how all my life, I have struggled with low self-esteem and confidence. I always have looked at my flaws and never at my strengths. All my life, I have been put down by others and that has taught me that I am just not good enough for anything or anymore. Also, I-I am so misunderstood that people often isolate and abandon me. I just never have f-felt wanted...even when I was with Ayaan...I did not feel desired by him nor loved by him. I did not. I-I cannot begin to tell you how Ayaan treated me Gauri...Like...it hurts so much to remember how that man treated me. I never wish that my worst enemy get's a man like Ayaan..." I clasped my palm against my mouth as I muffled my screams. Old injuries, given by Ayaan and my own family, were now bleeding within me and once again torturing me after long.

Everyone tells me to be strong. But, they cannot see that if I am living then I already am strong? Considering what I have seen in my life, it is a miracle I am still alive and daring to open up to a man in my life...that I am willing to be vulnerable once again and allowing myself to be loved.

Gauri wiped my tears away , though, she formed her own from seeing my state. After all, she is the only one besides Shivaay who has been able to feel my pain and understand it.

"And what if Shivaay bhai hurts you Anika? That is why I am scared for you and want you to go slow with him...don't jump in so fast and so deep with a man you barely know. I have seen you at your worst and that is why I will not be able to tolerate another man treating you like trash. You deserve better-"

"And I am getting that Gauri! Don't you think I too would not want to repeat the same mistake that I did with Ayaan?! Don't you think by now I would know which man is right or wrong for me?! I do! And my heart is telling me Shivaay is not Ayaan..."

I sighed and threw my head back in frustration not liking how Gauri was not able to full understand me. If only you knew what Ayaan did to me Gauri...then you might just approve of Shivaay and my relationship. I wish I could tell you how Shivaay is healing the wounds that Ayaan inflicted on me for years...how he is making me want to even believe in love...again.

"Then who is he?"

I smiled and got up from the bench to turn back towards the large driveway of the resort. I could tell all eyes were now on her and I...clearly many had heard parts of our conversation. Ayaan appeared to turn green with jealousy as Arti and Falguni raised their ears wanting to hear more. Om lurked behind Gauri now, also wanting to know what his brother meant to me.

I heard an awkward cough that caught my attention. Looking back, I captured the vision of my man making his way towards me. He too likely having heard the conversation between Gauri and I. If he can proudly tell the world who I am to him then can I not do the same?

The wind rushed through my waves gently as I smiled and looked back towards everyone with pride. They all should know what Shivaay means to me and how I am not just his fling, but something much more deeper.

"He is my everything. Shivaay is my world. He treats me the way a woman deserves to be treated...with kindness, respect, and equality. He gives me the confidence to be myself. He makes me happy, makes me want to laugh, to live. I am so broken and yet he is so patient towards me when it comes to our relationship. Shivays makes sure that my wishes are followed...and both in intimacy and beyond my voice is heard and given importance to. I am not a second class citizen for him, but a person...he makes me feel human not an animal. He gives me the izzat that I never even got in my home...that is who Shivaay is..."

Tears lavished me. My smile broke down. And my heart dived into a pool of ecstasy. Every wound vanished. And pure rapture took over to a point of drugging me. Roots of the unknown feeling began to sprawl and spread all over my heart that was spinning and twirling on the tune of passionate desires. I felt every bit and piece of Shivaay's essence spread through each corner of my soul...

Shivaay reached a standstill finding himself at a loss...He was in disbelief on how I had given recognition to our relationship. His eyes filled with tears from hearing his praise considering he always has been insulted for his character. Rarely, someone has given acknowledgement to his strengths.

Om formed a faint smile and looked back towards Shivaay and I. His change in demeanor surprising me considering how he had misbehaved with us at the airport. Gauri gave me a warm smile appearing to give some sort of approval to my relationship with Shivaay.

"Anika..." Shivaay called me from behind. I turned towards him and without a thought began to quicken my steps to close the gap between the both of us. His lips quivered as tears overwhelmed him...something appeared to change between the both of us. We both felt our hearts thud only to rise and soar...with a deep craving to unite.

"Shivaay..." A sudden a loud honking crashed into my field of focus as I felt my body almost fly off from the driveway of the resort. A car appearing to come straight towards my direction. Screams erupted and I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around me to pull me to the side. My body went numb as I rolled over to the side and hit a pillar. The pair of arms were familiar, but sent panic through me.

I immediately looked up to meet a pair of piercing black eyes. He wrapped his hands around my cheeks and pulled me closer towards him. I began to squirm in discomfort wanting to be freed from his grasp.

"Anika are you okay?! A car was just about to hit you! Oh my God...Anika baby...are you fine?!" Ayaan hitting a state of alarm as he began to shake me to bring me back to my senses. But they were already gone.

Fear unleashed within me as I immediately looked towards the left to see Shivaay. He appeared shell shocked as he stumbled back in horror. His eyes narrowing and turning blood shot red as they captured the vile image in front. Ayaan's hands slipping around my waist to pull me into a hug. My hands taking a tight grasp of his shoulders to push him away, but failing to do so.

"Anika di are you alright?! You should have been more careful! That car was about to hit you!" Arti, oddly showing concern, as she placed her hand on my head to give me comfort. Gauri rubbed her hand on my back to calm down my nerves.

My body began to shake against Ayaan. Filth and dirt making me feel rotten to even allow this disgusting man to even hold me. My sight focusing on to Shivaay who as seething. An animalistic growl escaped from him. He slammed his hand against the trunk of his convertible which the valet had pulled over. His real soul long gone as a demon began to dance upon his head and reign his existence.

"Anika baby...are you fine?" Ayaan speaking a bit too loudly for Shivaay to hear. I could tell he was playing a game. Ayaan did not hold one bit concern for me, but was pretending to ruin my relationship. I caught him smirking as he continued to push me against his chest. Surprisingly, Arti not giving a damn, but allowing him to hold me.

"Ayaan let go of me..." I hissed against his ear. I plunged my nails into his chest to push him away. He did not relent, but tightened his grasp around me.

My eyes wandered to Shivaay who continued to boil and burn as he observed Ayaan's closeness with me. Crap...he's going to misunderstand. Shivaay muttered a curse and immediately began to pace the other way that led to the beach which was behind the resort. No...Shivaay don't you dare think something wrongly of this. Ayaan is nothing to me now. He's worthless.

"Ayaan get the fuck off of me!" I plunged my hands against him with all my force and pushed him away right into Arti's arms. He angrily howled towards me as I pushed him one more time.

"Don't you dare touch me! Do you hear me?! If you ever come close to me again then I will not hesitate in teaching you a lesson...You always found joy in punishing me, so I am damn sure you also will find pleasure in pain that I will inflict upon you. Understood?" I snapped my fingers right at his face before giving him another hard push and making my way through Arti and Falguni who were shocked by the change in my demeanor.

"Ayaan saved you and here you are yelling at him!" Arti called after me. I scowled not ready to deal with her bullshit at the moment. I need to get to Shivaay before he forms any type of misunderstanding or things wrong. No way am I going to allow Ayaan or anyone else spoil my relationship.

"Tell Ayaan to stay away from me. I am not one bit comfortable by his touch. Understood? He is your fiancé, so it's your job to keep an eye on him. Next time, if he dares to come close, the consequences will be worse." I looked straight into Arti's eyes wanting her to engrave my warning in her mind. She lowered her gaze in shame from realization that I had a valid point.

"Anika is right Arti. I am surprised why you are not overreacting considering Ayaan is your fiancé." Gauri coming to my defense. She threw a dirty look to Ayaan who was now quiet and did not say a word.

I gave a smile to Gauri to thank her and immediately began to walk away from the scene. Increasing my pace, I continued to look back and forth to find Shivaay who was nowhere in sight. I quickly ran down the steps that led to the beach in hope that he would be found somewhere here.

Shivaay where are you? Please don't be upset with me. You should know me by now. I cannot even dare to think of another man besides you. You are my everything. Please don't misunderstand this situation. Please.

Shivaay's Point of View

https://youtu.be/wKOEJs602uk

"You bastard. You had one job to do which was to give food poisoning to Arti and somehow she survived it. Now, she and her fucking fiancé are out of their hotel and going to the same exact place where Anika and I will be headed to. So, now you bastard get to that damn restaurant and implement Plan B. I want Arti to be ruined. And not just her now, but also that Ayaan. I want both of them to face hell tonight. Do you understand? I want them to come so close to their end, so they can remember it for their entire lifetime and not dare to lift an eye towards my Anika."

The voice that lifted out of me had a low, rugged, infernal sound to it...it was not mine, but that of the possessive wrench which lived inside of me and only comes to the surface when it is fearful of losing something dear and near to the heart.

The image of that fiend's hands wrapped around Anika's bare waist making my blood curl. I dipped my feet further into the soggy, wet sand imagining it to be him. Slipping my feet into the waves of the ocean, I allowed its currents to tame my anger. However, the image of Anika not letting go of him continued to add steam to my temper.

Anika baby. Those two words continued to add salt my wounds and further torture them.

Anika how could you just hold on to him? Sure...he saved you from getting hit by the car and I am thankful for him to do that, but why did you continue to hold on to him? You should have run towards me and taken me up in your arms. Anika how can you still harbor feelings for your abuser? No. You are wrong. But, don't worry...I will fix this issue of yours'. Last time, I left, but I will not do that again. Leaving you again is not an option.

Flashback (Four Years Ago)

"Jaan, I am telling you our bedroom needs a complete renovation! This mahogany bed is the real deal. It will look absolutely gorgeous in our room! It's wooden...antique...and so sturdy! I guarantee you will love this bed! Now come on stop being a spoiled sport and please say yes! Jaan please! Please! Please!"

She revealed her innocent brown hues to me and formed a childish pout. She held complete awareness that this look of hers' was enough to make me weak in the knees and be charmed by her.

I threw my head back against the couch and attempted to ignore her. The image of my client touching her arm seductively at last night's dinner party continued to run in circles within my mind.

"Shivaay I am talking to you and here you are not listening me to one bit! What is this nonsense?!" Anika jumped on to my lap and slapped a kiss on my temple. I rolled my eyes and looked outside the majestic window that gave a view to the bustling city.

"What's the use of decorating a bedroom that we don't even use? Madam is on a sex fast..." I muttered in irritation from remembering how this unique item decided to go on a "no intimacy" fast. I think she is just a freaky virgin who is scared of intimacy...she can just say that and we can work around the issue, but no she has come up with an unique excuse.

Anika let out a giggle and pinched my cheeks. I frowned and attempted to free myself away from her, but she pinned me down with her knees. Raising her golden dupatta, she scattered it across my face and planted her lips right on top of mine.

"Oh ho...so my jaan is upset because he's not getting attention in the bedroom? Awwww....it's okay. Two more months. We will survive...Hehehe..." Anika let out a laugh and placed another tender kiss on my lips.

I sighed and wrapped my hand around her waist right to pull her more firmly on my lap. "Well...what was that crap I saw at last night's dinner party? How could you just allow my client to touch you like that? When I come close to you...you do your drama and when that client touched you...you just laughed."

She tilted her head in confusion and looked straight into my eyes. Her gaze revealing her innocence and that she was not at fault. Forming a soft smile, she wrapped her fingers around my hand and began to guide it down to the small bump on her womb. My hand flinched upon feeling the presence of the precious life that laid within her...wrapped in the comfort of her love through which that life fed itself and continued to live every day.

"Do you feel him?" She whispered with tears in her eyes. My heart fluttered for a moment as I felt him slightly move under my palm...my heir...my son...the baby that held my blood. I felt tears slowly come to the surface of my eyes and collapse on to my heart which was feeling a part of it beat in the innocent life that laid underneath my palm.

"Y-yes."

"You do realize how he came to life within me right? Do you even remember the night we both met at the club? After which everything changed for us...after which we both found something so precious between us that we never experienced before...Right?" She began to rewind our memories from the past five months since we first met.

I slightly whimpered with guilt realizing how wrong I was in even daring to think my Anika would have the slightest interest in that client. Of course she would not. This is the Anika who has left everyone to be with me. The one who has lied to every person she loved, so she could find her home with me...The woman who accepted the offer of carrying my child.

"I am the Anika who has abandoned her studies and lied to her parents that she is studying a semester abroad, so I could be with you and carry...your son...Ishaan. I am living a life full of lies to be with you and give you everything you want because that is how much I love you..." She buried her lips into my neck and pulled me into an embrace. Both of us breaking down into tears as we took a hold of each other's lips and dived into a passionate, eager kiss.

She loves me so much and here I am daring to doubt her. Guilty swiveled within me from realizing how I still had not confessed any form of love to her...somewhere still fearful of being vulnerable to a feeling called love.

"I am sorry Anika...I should not have spoken in such a manner, but I cannot see you with anyone. I cannot bear anyone being near you..."

"I know jaan, but you have to trust me. You are my world. I love you more than anything and anyone, so don't ever think I will give your place to another man..." She unraveled her heart in the simplest lines that were enough to give me comfort. I gave her a warm smile finding peace in knowing that I will never be replaced in her life.

She let out a laugh and pecked my lips once more. She let her lazy eyes wander to the maid who was quickly running down the stairs of our mansion with a load of laundry.

"Adeline, can you please get the photo album for me?" Anika chimed like the boss lady she was of this house. Adeline gave her an annoyed look and grabbed the photo album from the bookshelf to hand it her.

Anika giggled and immediately opened the album to reveal a trail of pictures that told our story. She grabbed my palm and placed it around her womb. "Hmm now is Mr. Oberoi in a good mood? Because I am planning to make a scrapbook out of these pictures for our Ishaan. I want us to read this scrapbook as a story to him when he is a little bit older....to let him know how his mummy and papa met."

I formed a faint smile finding her idea adorable, yet, also quite genius. I snuggled my nose against her neck inciting another laugh from her as she threw her head back against my shoulder.

"Acha...so we also have to tell him what happened that night after you got drunk at the club when we first met? I don't think it's appropriate to tell him that part of the story since it is rated R..." I teased to her who began to blush and elbowed me hard in my chest.

"Shut up! That night shall not be spoken of ever in this house once baby Ishaan is born. Understood? We shall only speak of the aftermath...understood?" She waved her finger at me like a queen.

"Aye Aye captain!" I saluted to her as we both exchanged a laugh and dropped down to the ground to scatter the photographs from the album and relive our story...Time to rewind to the first night we met.

Flashback Ends

It is time to rewind and now reveal to you all what is past that Anika and I share.

....

Hi everyone :). I am so sorry for the delay in updating this book, but after the last update, my father died a few days later in month of July and after that I struggled a lot in writing.

This is probably my worst chapter and I know I am a horrible writer...like horrible...and anything I write is horrific, but I still write to destress from my life. My father had a very traumatic death and to get out of that trauma, I am writing...and I am sorry if this chapter did not give that satisfaction and maybe wasted your time. I actually am on a break and not intending to update every week. I will only update when I feel like posting a chapter and now I am writing for fun. I know my grammar is bad, my sentences are horrible, and I don't know how to write...however as a fan of Shivika, I am still writing for fun. Please don't keep high expectations of me. I am nowhere serious about my writing and this is just a fun hobby I do to forget about my real life problems. So I am sorry again and I am hoping to post another chapter soon this weekend...but it will be a very short one if it get's written :).

I know the ending is very choppy, but the chapter already got too long, so I had to end it somewhere :). And this is the only book I am updating at the moment. Also, I know this book is slow...and grammar is bad...and sentences are horror, but I am really writing for fun and for myself...I just post it to share this with you all, so I am so sorry if I disappointed you all and yeah I hope to update and post more if I feel better :).

Questions:

I know Shivika flashbacks are confusing and many of you have many questions, but as the ending says Shivaay will now rewind his flashbacks and show what exactly his past with Anika is :), so this chapter was just to show the twist and now we will know in next few chapters what their past was. It will be revealed in every chapter :).

1. What do you think Shivika past is?
2. How did Anika end up getting pregnant?
3. Why does Anika not remember Shivaay?

4. Why do you think Shivika separated in the past?

5. Where is Shivika's baby Ishaan? Is he even alive?

6. What do you want Shivika first night to be like in the next chapter? A cave, dinner, and a first night in a houseboat sounds good or not? :)

7. What punishment should Arti and Ayaan get through Shivaay's plan?

8. What do you think of Shivaay hurting Arti? Do you support Anika in not hurting her or Shivaay?

9. Did you like Gauri and Anika's friendship?

10. Did Anika indirectly confess her love for Shivaay when she told everyone what he meant to her prided in the driveway of the resort?

This book is a redux of my other book "Learning to Love Him Again", so if you read that book you may see the similarities, but there are big differences that will come to the surface starting in the next chapters. If you did not read that book, then do not worry since this book can be read stand alone :).

Thank you for reading this crappy chapter and I love you all so much :). I read the condolences and prayers you all sent for my father, so thank you for that and I hope you all stay blessed and have a wonderful weekend :). Also, thank you so much for patiently waiting for this chapter and bearing with the delays. It means a lot everyone and thank you. I hope you all remain happy and have a wonderful day ahead :).

-Jasmine