"So, you are the mistress of that man too?" Jimin really got on my nerves make me glare at him as I made a warm tea for Bobby who is apparently living in my unit for 3 days now, waiting. Because he has no clue to ask who. Not even Jungkook who is now always seen with his wife.

He told me. The first time he wants to meet Jungkook, made an appointment in his office a lady walks straight toward the door without knocking, Jen. She went out with Jungkook when it's the time for Jungkook to leave the office.

I smile to know the progress of their love live but I can feel a sharp pain pricking my chest to my thumb. My ego.

"He is my best friend." I told him patiently even thought I really want to burn him with this hot tea. "More like brother, he lives in New York."

"He flew leaving everything only for a sister?" He asks not believing me make my heart aches.

"Can't I have that amount of value for someone to leave everything only to see me?" After I ask him that, Jimin closing his mouth and look me seriously, or can I say it was sadness in his eyes? "We are like that; he will leave anything for me. And I'll do the same."

"Many peoples misunderstand us; I mean can't a man and woman have this kind of relationship where we ask no reward for anything we did for each other?" I ask again as I smile, wiping the water from the kitchen table. "I always grateful to have him and I believe that no one can do better than him, no one can prioritize me like what he did." I said taking the tea to serve to Bobby. "Not even the brother you said loving me can leave his family for me."

--
"Talk, please." I plea at Bobby who is looking at nothing on the night sky. We were inside the room that I use to stay in Rosé's place. Laying and bathing the moon light make the atmosphere calm and shooting until Bobby force me to tell him what's happening.

I tell him.

Everything.

He looks at me, and I can see how he suppresses anger inside of him. As his trembling hand touching mine, gently when he can always break me easily. But he always threats me gently.

"I'll bring you with me to NYC." He said and I shake my head as I took back my hand. "It's dangerous, Lily. If there is no one found you that time, you can always die. And you'll leave me too. I have no one."

"You have unnie. You have your wife."

"But she is not you. You, can't be replaced." I can't resist to tearing the tears as his voice cracked. "If you don't want me to kill Kim Kai, just come with me."

"I can always destroy him if I want, doll."

Kai's word will always be my bad dream, I keep on believing them no matter how I try to erase it. He wrote it with a permanent marker. How can I survive?

--
"Okay, take your breath." I listen well on what Dr. Im instruct me. Well. I get better as I diligently take my yoga class, have Bobby with me, and I am hoping that Rosie didn't lie when she said that grass help me too. "Easy, yes, you can open your eyes now Miss Manoban."

I hurriedly open my eyes not even daring to let my dream come over me again, I have that dream again when we did session, sweating really bad.

"Jin oppa?" I questioned my own self when I see another figure sat beside Dr. Im who is now looking at me sympathetically.

"I found out that electric shock method won't help your traumatic, Miss Manoban. I am sorry." She said sadly. "To send you back to your past memories that you reject will always make the impact 2 times harder."

I look down at my nail. Hopeless.

"Unless you are learning to approving them as the part of yourself right now in front of me." She said once again make me look up. "Don't leave yourself."

Thats the last word Dr. Im said that broke my heart, before she left letting Jin oppa to talk with me.

"So, it's getting worse?" He read the note that Dr. Im left. I nod. "Why don't you take the shortcut Lis? Why don't you choose that option?" He questions me. I don't know.

"You are being stubborn and stupid saying that Jungkook happy with his wife who we don't know till when she won't be boring at him and start to leave him again, when you see clearly another option where you and Jungkook staying together. Cured. Both of you. Why?"

I chuckled at his remark make the frown.

"Because he doesn't love me."

"How many times we should tell you that he loves you."

"When he not even once fight for me? Okay, call me greedy but for once I want him to fight for me. Choosing me over her. Why me? Why me who always understand of his spot? Why didn't he do the same?"

He was out of words. And I sigh at how pathetic we were.

"Not mean that you should choose someone who destroyed you, who make you this painful."

"You-"

"I knew that I learn about my cousin too. Jen was my favorite when she wasn't hurting Jungkook." He took my hand on his, warm and big. "Don't doubt him, please. It's his fool to even thinking the same as you." I look back at him.

"He thinks that you are probably happy with the new perfect man, not a man full of pain like him."

"No." I beam.

"Yeah, no, I agree with you. So, believe in him. Let him know that he is qualified to stand beside you." He gently grasps my hand tightly. I can see sincerity in him but what can I do? I am the one who is not qualified in the end for him. "Let him believe in his dream again."

"Dream?"

"Hmm." He nods. "A simple dream which is too high for him to reach. A warm and lovely family, tiny feet's running to wrap his foot when he just come home calling him daddy, the kitchen full of warm scent of food, and a beautiful and lovely wife smiling ear to ear at him."

"His dream." I beam again feel a little allured by the words of Jin oppa. Wanting that too. Will work hard for his dream too.

"Both of your dream, for now."

--
"Mr. Jeon, Mrs. Jeon Jennie come to visit you." I think I misheard my PA if it's not for the sudden entry of Jennie inside my office, holding a lunch box make me stand up and hug her. Our usual cold greeting style.

"What's going on?" I ask her as we let ourselves sat on the sofa in my office room. She looks at me hesitantly before taking out the lunch box and set them on the table neatly. Make me confuse.

"I brought you bulgogi." She awkwardly giving me the utensil.

"Why?" I ask and she is looking down.

"I know this is too much to say, but I will learn to be a good wife."

Her words really make my brain short circuit make me only looking at him blankly for a while make her squirm uncomfortably.

And I clear my throat when I get back my conscious. Put the utensil and bring her to face me by her shoulder.

"What is that, Jen?" I ask her want to confirm what I just heard.

"Lets....

Let's be a real wife and husband."

It's been a week since those words spoken by my wife. The one that I believe my love but why, Lisa won't come out from my brain. My memories. My heart.

I keep on thinking about her even thought I knew that her, right now happy beside the Kim Kai. The perfect man that even my wife admires. How dare me standing to comparing myself with that man.

And isn't it an alluring offer for me to live as a true family. Jen seems working hard for us, treat me really good, cooking her hardest, but I can't make myself to touch her more than a hug.

It's become a habit for me to forbid myself touching her. The sweet love I have for her, now feel so bland that I feel nothing when she initiated a kiss few days ago, when we just finishing our dinner.

It's so sudden, too sudden that all I can do was pushing her body. I feel regret when I see how sad she was. But I have nothing left. That woman that is my painkiller taking my pain and my heart entirely.

But I try my hardest too to make this family work, I try to be sweet and making myself believe that I love her, a Kim Jennie, not anyone else even thought my heart aches every time I open our refrigerator.

There is no banana milk, there is no note, there is no her.

No Lalice Manoban for me.

"Sir, you can't just go inside." I heard a ruckus as I day dreaming, thinking about what I should do to make Jennie feel better. Until the door opened showing me the emotionless Bobby who I always see him smile.

What's going on?

"Mr. Jeon I am sorry." The PA said and I nod signaling him to leave. I look to Bobby who is still standing looking at me back.

"Bob."

"Why don't you fight Lily if you truly love her?"

He throws his question just like that make me frown.

"She doesn't want me."

"Because she beliefs that it's better for you to not get into trouble. Because you are just caring to the family, your entire empire." He mocks me, I knew that as he smirks looking around the room. "For her you are her everything but this all shit are your everything."

"No."

"Then what? Then why you let her leave?"

"She wants that."

"Even if you know that she is dying?"

"Pardon?"

"Even if you knew that she is under something that is capable to destroying her?"

"Did her trauma disturb her?"

"It will kill her, taking her from me, from us." He screams as my heartbeat accelerating knowing the fact.

"Bob, what's going on with her?" I stand up and walk to reach him. Seeing his teary eyes make my heart break. I belief something big and bad happen. A man's tears always come for a great disaster that capable breaking his entire heart.

"Bob, she is okay right?"

He closes his eyes as his tears falling.

"Don't let Kim Kai take her!"