Imagine #151: Dare Me Not (Part 13)

{Told you this will be loooong. Pardon me for that, but I hope you're all enjoying!}

*Y/N's P.O.V.*

Out of all the people in this university, it's him that I'm with when this happened.

I actually have no idea how I managed to calm down...how I managed to control this fear of mine. I swear I almost puked, lose my consciousness, and lose my mind earlier. I have a phobia of being trapped like this and I'm just thankful that I'm with someone, even if it's Patrick. I'm sure I would have just died here if it wasn't for his presence.

My breathing is still shaking and my eyes are shut closed, I don't want to know or to see that we're trapped her. I know there's some light inside because of Patrick's phone, but still...knowing that I'm trapped here will make me panic again so I'm just here pushing myself to imagine I'm somewhere else. I guess those therapy sessions really did something to me after all.

I began to think clearly too, unlike earlier where I'm just a huge mess. It's embarrassing that Patrick had to see that, but what can I do? It can't be helped. I also now remembered how I managed to stay calm like this...I guess Patrick knows how to handle people having panic attacks, fortunately. He did all the first aid precautions to me, whispered things that would distract and somehow he managed to get to me, I heard his voice and that's when I stopped hallucinating and crying. I also remembered telling him before that somehow music calms me down and he used that now, I can still hear him softly singing while my head is laid on his lap.

"Honey is for bees, silly bear

Besides, there's jelly beans everywhere
It's not what it seems in the land of dreams
Don't worry your head just go to sleep

It doesn't matter how you feel
Life is just a Ferris wheel
It's always up and down
Don't make a sound

When you wake up the world will come around
When you wake up the world will come around" I heard him softly singing and that's when I decided to speak up.

"Thank you." I said, I can even hear my voice shaking until now.

"Y/N, you don't have to talk yet. J-just calm down there..." he said softly...I've never heard him speak like this, or even act like this, but I know it's all true. It's him...it's him back then.

"N-no, I-I need to let this go...Will you hear me out?" I asked, taking in a deep breath. I've never shared this to anyone...but I guess what they say is right, if you tell the tale to other people, it will become less heavy to you.

"Of course, Y/N...to anything you say." Patrick said.

My breathing became shaky again, I will narrate to him, meaning...I need to remember it.

"T-the time I-I felt like being trapped like this is when I was 8-years-old...J-just one crucial, unforgiving and goddammed night, some people broke into our house. Me...and my parents so scared that night as we heard the noises from outside our rooms...I-I'm only eight then but I was already SO scared for our lives!" I began to say, already feeling the tears escape my eyes even when they are shut.

"Y/N...y-you don't have to--

"No, I want to let this go, Patrick...I just want to let this go." I said and then I suddenly felt him locked his hands with mine.

"Fine, but let me just hold you so you know that this time you're not alone." he said and I gave him a small smile.

"T-the people that broke into our house didn't stop until they get to the bedroom...where we are staying that time. I still can see the doorknob twisting as they try to open the door. I was about to cry out loud but my mom told me to stay quiet...and I did. I trapped all the feelings inside of me, I managed to control my emotions even at that early age. My mom then runs towards the corner of the bedroom and opened my secret hiding place and she places me there telling me to not make any single noise until the bad people were there. Of course, I didn't want to be left alone...b-but mom and dad insisted and before they close my small hiding place...they told me they loved me and after that, I can only see darkness and feel trapped as my parents fight for their life out there. I heard the gunshots, I heard the screams, I heard everything and I counldn't do anything...I couldn't do anything but be well concealed in there...and being here, dark...trap. I feel I could hear those things again." I have no idea how I managed to narrate this while sobbing.

I just realized that I'm crying so hard after I narrated everything...and now I realized that Patrick is hugging me while brushing my hair.

"Y-you can never let go of anything like that, Y/N. Those events made you what you are now...all we have to do is accept it." he whispered to me and I just cried. He's right and I couldn't agree more with him.

I'm always known to be a girl who fights, a girl who never backs down...maybe I'm like that because I've always regret not doing anything that day. I always want to prove that I am capable of something...that I'll not just hide behind something...that I'll be able to protect someone I love. But I guess no matter how I try, I still end up failing...I still end up being the scared one as I hide and observe someone hurt the people I love...

and how ironic it is that the person that I tried to protect like that but FAILED to...

...is the one with me right now.

------------------

*Patrick's P.O.V.*

That's it, I'm done...I'm not doing it anymore...once we get out of here...I'll go away from Y/N from then on.

This girl had done nothing wrong to me but despite that, we are ruining her and this time we've gone out of the line. I know a part of this is still my idea and I think that would be the thing that I will greatly regret my whole life. I hate it, I hate that I'm a part of this mess, I hate that I wanted to hurt a girl that's already broken enough.

Hearing her story slapped me so hard, we shouldn't be doing something like this to people we don't know. They already have troubled thoughts and we're adding up by giving them low self-esteem to match that! Meagan is right, we really shoud have stopped and I hate that I only realized that now...now that the much damage has been done.

"You're too silent, are you still alive?" I was suddenly pulled out of my senses when I heard Y/N said.

Fortunately, she's somehow okay now. She's sitting next to me while hugging her knees, with her eyes still closed. I just stared at her appreciating her courage and beauty...this girl is really some extraordinary.

"Of course, I just thought you might need some silence." I said softly, Y/N suddenly smiled.

God, this girl...she's so strong. Even with undergoing this kind of situation, even when remembering that awful past. She's able to smile this fast...She's really an optimistic and strong person and I think that's just really attracting.

"I don't need that now, I'm only worrying more." she said...thankfully, she's somehow back. 

"I'm so sorry, Y/N." I said, I'm so guilty right now and I don't care if she becomes angry at me, I deserve it, I deserve her hatred.

"Surely, it's not your fault, Patrick. You wouldn't think of this." she said, still having that small smile.

Here she is again...still managing to trust me even if it's obvious that I am somehow a part of this. I just chuckled sadly as I shook my head.

"I'm not  lying on this one, Y/N." I said. "You never cease to amaze me." I told her, even if she can't really see me looking at her, I wanted to let her feel the sincerity of my words and I hope she does feel it.

"Now's not the time for your flattery, Stump." she said, but it's obvious she's hiding her smile. "And also, I'm still not buying it." she added which made me chuckle.

"Say what you want, Y/L/N, I know you're liking it too." I teased.

Maybe I should just enjoy this as long as I can...besides, once we get out of here...I promise I will never bother her again.

------------------------------

"Well, there goes the quiz bee and the singing competition. Surely the whole college is panicking because  you and I are mysteriously missing." Y/N said which made me chuckle. " Elaine will probably kill you once we got out of here."

"You're definitely right about that." I joked, but somehow I do feel it's true. Elaine would be SO mad at me, but definitely not mad as I am for thinking of something like this.

I just sighed silently and push all those thoughts aside. I know this elevator will work any minute now since the competitions are over...so I just have to make use of the time I have to maybe make sure that Y/N is on good hands once I stay away from her.

Well, actually...originally I'm the one with the bad intentions here on the first place so she's probably safe to other people compared to being with me.

"That Brendon guy is a really nice guy, right Y/N?" I suddenly asked and I saw the sudden shock in Y/N's face.

"Well, yeah. We've become close recently and I think he's a really nice guy. What's with the weird question?" she asked me.

I just smiled to myself...I knew the look on that guy's face whenever he's with Y/N...it's just like me when I'm being amazed by her. It's obvious that he likes Y/N and it's not impossible that Y/N likes him back...besides, their attitude are compatible.

"Nothing, just making sure." I murmured. "He's a really lucky guy." I loudly stated.

"Y-you're saying weird things." she said but somehow her tone changed, is that worry?

"Just don't hesitate to tell me when he becomes a jerk to you, okay? I swear I---

"Why are you saying things as if you're going away?" she suddenly asked and I was shocked at this time she was able to open her eyes and look at me worriedly.

I just looked back at her and chuckled sadly. "What are you talking about? You're the one who's getting weird here." I said, turning the topic away.

Suddenly, the elevator moved and Y/N instantly hold unto my arm and I intinctively hold her too. Finally, the lights inside the elevator opened and then we heard a voice in the monitor. 

"Is somebody in there?! Are you okay?!" the man said and I immediately stood up to push the button and talk to them.

"Yes, there's two of us here. We've been trapped here for almost three hours. Please do everything you can to get us out of here fast! And also, what took you so long?" I asked, honestly angry.

"Please pardon us, that elevator is supposed to be off limits. Are you both okay in there?" he asked.

"Yes, just please do everything to get us out of here." I told him.

"It'll go up for three more minutes." I stepped away from the monitor and looked back at Y/N to give her a smile.

"We're saved, finally." I said and I'm honestly sad...after this, I'll go away from this girl, but I do think it's better that way.

Y/N looked at me worriedly and like she's about to ask me something, but stopping herself.

"Again, I'm sorry Y/N." I said, pushing myself to do what I want. I, then, hugged her and in shock she hugged me back. That honestly made me smile and chuckle. I pulled away after some seconds, but before completely letting her go. I gently hold her cheeks then proceed to kiss her forehead.

"May you always be smiled upon." I murmured. {ILY if you know where this came from.}

It was a charm that I learned from the person I hated before...and I was shocked that I was able to use it to someone without being angry and remembering my hatred...I guess I really want to the charm to work on Y/N. It's just a good luck charm I've given to her...wishing that starting this moment...people will always be delighted with her.

I smiled at her as I feel the elevator finally moving up and then I realized that Y/N is staring at me in shock and with a blank expression...suddenly, her hands moved over the top of my hands that was still on her cheeks.

"P-please, don't." I faintly heard her say.

For some reason, I think she found out that I'll never bother her again after this and somehow...

.

she doesn't want that to happen.

{Thanks for reading!! And look at that, I'm so serious with this mini fanfic! Haha! Sorry, as I have said, this is an original story of mine, maybe that's the reason! Thanks for the wonderful support and this book now has over 100K reads! IT'S SO AMAZING! And we're currently on #553 on the fanfiction rankings!!! This wouldn't happen if it wasn't for you people! THANK YOU it really means a lot to me! Anyways, stay stunning, lovelies! :*}