Name: Mallory Long

Fun fact: Mallory is derived from the French "Malheure/Malheur" and means unlucky, misfortunate, and/or unhappy. 

(Proof-reading Aaron here - This does, however, need fact-checking, since I've heard a lot of conflicting explanations/meanings of the name.)

Hey, they were born a half-blood, so the name's pretty fitting.

Age: 14

Gender/Pronouns: Agender/They/Them

Personality: Confident, careless, witty, arrogant, trusting, and caring

This is very interesting. Usually, people pump their character with likable and inherently good traits (example: kind, generous, nice, etc.) but you seem to have a more even mix. This blends well together, and I applaud you for it.

Make sure to remember that there's a fine line between realistic and annoying. While your character doesn't need to be perfect, readers can get agitated when characters make poor/mean-spirited decisions, mostly when the author tries to frame them as good.

(Though maybe that's just me.)

Good Traits: They care a lot about the people and tend to be pretty trusting, even though it doesn't always work out. They are also a quick thinker and can wriggle out of a tight spot in a flash.

Bad Traits: They can be overconfident and overestimate their abilities, which usually leads to arrogance and carelessness.

These don't seem to conflict, which I like. Readers like to be able to follow a character's train of thought because it helps them understand their actions, and, thus, relate and empathize with them.

Fatal Flaw: Overconfidence

I like this because it's a fairly original fatal flaw. Overconfidence can be extremely interesting to read because it leads to scenes where the reader can see that things may go badly, but the character doesn't.

Hair Color: Chestnut Brown

Eye Color: Hazel

Skin Color: A warm, coffee brown

Ok, pretty standard. No exotic look, just normal.

Height: 5'2

Weight: Below Average (this is actually a real life problem that I as a real person have, and it may sound like I'm some kind of Barbie doll or something, it's not a lie)

Mentioning this in the story, even in passing, could be a good idea. A good character has flaws, but make sure it doesn't overshadow the rest of her personality. 

Legacy: Hermes (yes, a Greek legacy, I liked the idea)

Hmm, a legacy of Hermes. On one hand, they wouldn't be the most powerful person, but on the other, you don't need crazy powers to be interesting. I want to see how this plays out.

Nationality: Iranian, Polish, and Irish

Weapon(s): Handgun with celestial bronze bullets

Interesting weapon. I've heard a lot of people using guns as weapons lately, instead of the traditional sword, bow, or knife, that are most commonly used. 

Remember, celestial bronze is a non-renewable metal. In the series, it's mentioned to be rarer than imperial gold (though the source is questionable, since I doubt the Greeks were handing over all of their monster-killing items to the Romans, and Reyna is a Roman.) 

Fighting Skills: Long Distance

Backstory: They came from a family of seven, they had two moms, one dad, and three siblings, one sister and two brothers. They lived a normal life, nothing really *eventful* ever happened to them. But then their sister, Oleander, was diagnosed with cancer. She died two years later, on the day that Mallory turned 13, when the monsters had started coming. (This is kind of what leads the character to camp half-blood, because greek legacies normally wouldn't be a monster magnet)

That seems to be a very tragic thing to happen, and at a young age, too. However, you can definitely expand on this. What was their relationship with their siblings and parents? Did their parents accept who they are? Were they close, and massively devastated when their sister died? Obviously, a sister dying would be a sad event for anyone, but even more so for sisters who were best friends. 

These are all things you might want to keep in mind if you would like to refine the backstory a bit.

Extra/Other: They're pansexual/romantic and have occasional flashbacks from when their sister was in the hospital

Overall Ratings: 

Mary Sue Rating: 6.3% (Low)

Character Rating: 93.7 (A)

Notes: This was an interesting character to review. They had flaws and good traits, keeping them balanced. The only thing I might be able to tell you is that 1) Being non-binary doesn't overshadow the rest of them. Make them a person who happens to be non-binary. 2) You think about their powers. Remember, they're a legacy, not a demigod, so they won't be that powerful.

Overall, a good character from the info I have.

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Sincerely, 360_Productions