Review for Cordelia Theodore

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(This review was written by @QueenAmethystJackson  Go check her profile out for a good read!)


Name: Cordelia Theodore (Real), Sofia Anderson (Safe Name) 


 Cordelia means 'daughter of the sea god'. It's a name with Celtic origins. Her last name, Theodore, comes from the Greek word 'Theodoros' meaning 'gift of god'. I think this name is great! It's also quite clear you did your fair share of research before picking a name for your OC. It works perfectly since she's a daughter of Poseidon, and demigod children are often considered gifts to their mortal parents. It's really nice how her 'safe name' also fits perfectly with her Greek heritage since both her first and last name are of Greek origin.

 Age: 14 (from titans curse) 

 Gender/Pronouns: Female, She/they 

 Personality: Loud, sulky and stubborn 

 Good Traits: protective of the people she loves, will keep in contact as long as they can, makes good coffee 

 Bad Traits: overprotectiveness, stubbornness, not so adaptable to change, doesn't trust people easily(don't know if good or bad??)

 Ok, nice. Her personality and her traits match up nicely, they don't contradict each other. It's interesting that she's bad with change since a demigods' life is ever-changing, and not very stable. I'm interested in seeing how she overcomes this and embraces change as the story progresses. I think it's a pretty good trait that she doesn't trust very easily because she's less likely to get tricked/deceived. 

 Fatal Flaw: anger

It's nice you picked a fatal flaw that isn't used as much in fanfics. Anger/wrath isn't common even in the actual books. The only demigods we know whose fatal flaws are wrath are Luke Castellan and Hercules. Her fatal flaw pairs nicely with her personality and traits quite well too! 

Hair Colour: black with natural brown highlights 

 Eye Colour: blue (real), brown (safety precaution)

 Skin Colour: (not decided on but probably tanned) 

 Height: average 14-year-old height 

 Weight: slightly overweight(blame them cookies)

 Looks good. You haven't picked a crazy exotic and unnatural look, which is good. Her eye colour overall look works well with her parentage. I think tanned skin would work well for her. Since Poseidon kids usually live on the beach, it makes sense for them to be tanned or olive skinned. (Apollo kids are tanned as well, but I doubly it would affect legacies). It would also add to the similarities between her and Percy, since they're half-siblings. She also seems relatable to the average reader since she doesn't look perfect (we all love cookies after all).

 Godly Parent: Poseidon(half-blood-not so powerful tho), Apollo (legacy-even less powerful)

 Her being a Poseidon kid will earn you a large eye roll since most authors chose Poseidon or Hades as the godly parent. But as long as you avoid copying Percy, and falling into clichés, you should be good.

It's also good that she isn't overpowered. Even though she's a daughter of one of The Big 3 and a legacy of one of the 12 main Olympians, you haven't made her a jack-of-all- trades. Since that isn't very real. It's much more engaging to read about a demigod who has struggles than to read about one who's virtually perfect and wins every fight, and defeats every opponent.


 Nationality: American/Californian (has not decided yet) 


 Weapon: Bow and arrow 

 So she's a long-distance fighter. That works pretty well with her physique. Good choice. It's also cool that she uses her mother's weapon. So I'm guessing her mother is a demigod daughter of Apollo or a legacy herself, and Cordelia inherited the skill of archery from her. It's a nice detail. Does she have water powers? If so how strong are they? 

 Fighting Skills: just wings it (but has learned the art of martial arts in the mortal world)

  Ahh I see she's good at hand-to-hand combat as well, it's a useful talent, just in case she runs out of arrows, her bow snaps, or she loses her weapon altogether. 'Winging it' is usually how the demigods roll, especially the children of Poseidon. But I hope she has a friend/companion who's a bit of a planner, since 'winging it' doesn't always work. We need an Annabeth-like character sometimes.

 Backstory: mother killed by cyclops, memories erased, name changed, eye colour changed, left with the clear-sighted worshipper of Apollo to raise, has a stepbrother and a stepsister, had a girlfriend and rest of it are spoilers like major spoilers Pretty good backstory from what you've given. 

Overall, doesn't sound too over used. I haven't read a story where the protagonist has their memory erased and their appearance changed, at least in the Percy Jackson Fandom. Growing up with a clear sighted parental figure, she would have learned quite a bit about Greek Mythology, which ought to help her. There are so many places you can take this backstory, since it's pretty open ended, so I'm excited to

I'm excited to see where you go with this. There are a few small clichés you can fall into by accident while writing the backstory, but those are easily avoidable, and I have complete trust in your writing skills. 

 Extra/Other: sexuality lesbian, loves coffee, is out to the fam, is scared to come out to the camp for a long time, has a beautiful voice but hates singing, has been bullied for liking girls before(doesn't have many friends bc of that), her stepsister can see through the mist, the weapon was her mothers which has been by her side since her memories were erased as a form of a normal pendant thingy 

 It's going to be interesting to read about her internal struggle when she comes out to the camp, that is if she does. A few questions:

 1. So she has 2/3 gifts of Apollo? Hmm, that's usually really rare for a legacy, especially since you've mentioned she didn't inherit many powers. 

 2. Does the locket/pendant turn into the bow and arrows? If so pendant wouldn't be the best option because, if it turns into a bow, she would need to carry a quiver on her always, and vice versa, so maybe you should have it were it turns into a 2 part piece of jewelry. Like a necklace that has a detachable charm or something.

 Mary-sue rating: 4.3 

 Overall Character Grade: 96.4/ A+ 

 Notes: 

 1. Do your research. Since your doing a lgbtq+ character, I think it would be great if you spend a little bit of time on google or asking a friend about this topic, since it'll help you easily avoid clichés.

 2. From what you've given her powers/skills seem a little too heavy on the Apollo side (she's not over powered) especially since she's just a legacy. So I would love to hear more about her Water powers, and the powers she inherited from Poseidon in general. Since those genes are the immediate ones she's inherited. 

 Overall a pretty good character. I couldn't find much wrong with Cordelia. Her backstory sounds interesting and she isn't over powered.(But Poseidon as a parent, and Apollo as a legacy is overused). With a small bit of polishing she could be a great OC! This was wonderful to read thank you for sending it in!


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Sincerely, Amethyst Jackson  (@QueenAmethystJackson)

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