Review for Penny Jackson

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Name: Penelope "Penny" Jackson


By the last name "Jackson", I'm guessing this will be a daughter of Percy Jackson fanfic. Those can be hard to pull off, and can be chock-filled with clichés. However, I've read some of your writing and know you can pull it off.

Also, Penelope makes sense as a name as it has Greek origin, and Penelope (Odysseus' wife) was an extremely faithful person. And it sounds nice.

 Age: 16 at the start of the story 

 Gender/Pronouns: Female, she/her, bisexual

 Love interest: Diana Peters (formerly), Rose Weasley (current)

Ok, so I noticed a few things here.

1) Cursed Child is probably canon in this universe

2) Characters from Cursed Child will probably play a major role in this fanfic

3) Rose x Scorpius is probably not going to happen.

These are some very interesting choices, to say the least, considering a good portion of the fandom considers "The Cursed Child" not canon. However, this is a personal choice, and can make for a fascinating story.

Personality: Very bright and outgoing, always excited for new things, but also 

 Good Traits: Brave, caring, knows how to respect boundaries, fiercely protective of her friends.

These remind me a bit of Percy, but not so that she's a carbon copy. Percy was a bit more stand-offish, and had few very close friends, until he went to Camp Half-Blood. Even then, he was a lot more sarcastic, at times even sardonic. It's great that you're giving her an actual personality.

 Bad Traits: Stubborn, hot-headed, a bit nosy, doesn't know how to deal with emotions (so she just pushes everything down, bottling it up until it explodes), also way too physically violent (even people close to her are legitimately scared of disagreeing with her, because of this)

This. Giving your character actual quirks and personality is key. These bad traits are in-line with her good traits, and the only conflicting ones are "Knows how to respect boundaries" and "Nosy" but I'll let that slide. 

 Fatal Flaw: Hero complex. She has the habit of taking everything upon herself, and she's more than willing to disregard her safety in order to "do her duty". This in turn also makes it difficult for her to receive love and affection, since she sees everything as zero-sum and doesn't realize that relationships are much more than "I give you this in exchange for that".

Parts of this character actually remind me of Clarisse (Hotheaded, stubborn, but still very loyal and duty-centric) A hero complex as a fatal flaw is used somewhat for Percy in fanfics, but as his daughter, it would make sense for her too. Also, it's not overused, and originality is a major plus.

 Hair Color: Black 

 Eye Color: Grey

 Skin Color: Tanned (takes after her mother, also spent most of her childhood near the sea, on the West Coast) 

Makes sense,  considering her parentage.

 Height: 1.75m / 5'9" Weight: 57kg / 125 pounds (she's much more muscular than the average 16yr girl, and while she's proud of her body, at times she'd like to look more "feminine")

I like how you're actually making a realistic character. A lot of people do struggle with body image, or feel unsatisfied with their looks from time to time. You're creating a unique  and relatable character.

 Heritage: Poseidon/Athena 

 Nationality: American (lives in Britain) 

I can actually see Percy and Annabeth moving from Britain, to get away from the gods.

 Weapon(s): 15th century-style bastard sword (not exactly traditional, but the possibility of both one-handed and two-handed grips suits her style more), her wand (she tries to use both at the same time, but in practise it's almost impossible to use both properly) 

You obviously put some research into your character. For everyone reading this is a good example of realistic character weapons. They probably won't use 500 different tools proficiently, and will instead favor a certain weapon.

 Fighting skills: Very skilled 1v1 fighter, above average witch, gets easily overwhelmed by large groups of monsters (Since none of her powers give her crowd-control abilities)

True, she probably doesn't have a lot of Percy's powers, and at the absolute most, slightly above average a normal Poseidon demigod's power, though definitely should be below. That's my cap for a legacy. 

Backstory: When she was 6 years old, the city she lived in was attacked by a massive group of monsters (I KNOW monsters don't usually attack humans, but there's a reason for why it happens this time). During the escape, she got separated from her parents, and while everything turned down well in the end, it deeply scarred her, and she hated how powerless she felt. Because of this, she promised to herself that she would train super-hard to become as strong as demigodly possible, so that she would never feel fear again. 

I like this backstory. It's not over-the-top, and I doubt you'd just kill off Percy and Annabeth, and make her a homeless orphan (that would never happen, either camp, or at least one of the seven would take her in.) but still leaves some drama and trauma. It also provides a catalyst for the story, making her feel like she needs to be stronger, better, more. 

It's very intriguing, and I'd like to hear more.

Extra/Other: Has all the "basic" Poseidon powers, but on a much lower scale than Percy. 

That's what I thought, and makes a lot more sense then some of the fanfics I've run into (once, Percy's daughter easily managed to lift huge quantities of water, and had more powerful abilities than Percy himself.)

Allergic to nuts. Has the habit to flex her biceps when celebrating. Being a Poseidon legacy, her body is made to survive the massive oceanic pressure, meaning she's stronger than average even for a demigod/legacy.

Nice, don't want them to be too overpowered, but nobody wants to read a boring, weak character.

 Also, she does have the Percy's signature crooked grin, but only because she had jaw surgery after an injury and it didn't heal properly

Ah, the classic troublemaker grin/


Mary Sue Rating: I spent 10 minutes straight just reading this over and trying to find Mary Sue qualities. Seriously, I have more gripes about Piper than your OC.

I couldn't find anything major, so I'm taking points off for Cursed Child being canon.


Character grade: 98.5


Notes: Honestly, I don't have much for her. The only thing I can say is to watch out for stereotypes about LGBTQ+ relationships, and be original. This truly was a great character to read about, but hard to review.



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Sincerely, 360 Productions.


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