"are you starving yourself?"

here we go again. the same question i hear over and over again. "are you eating?" "have you been starving yourself?" "why aren't you eating?" what i do with my own body is my own business, why are others so nosy?

i didn't respond, only turned my head away. why did she even care if i starved myself or not? most idols do it pretty often to maintain their figure or whenever their company wants them to drastically lose weight. i'm pretty sure she does it too or at least has done it before.

"why would you do that to yourself?"

we live in a very judgmental society and in that society, appearance outweighs personality. though that may not be the case for everyone, it is the case for most people. they go on social media left and right and comment on the way someone looks and if they fit the so-called beauty standards. now when did beauty become objective? why do you have to have a certain eye shape, nose shape, lip shape and face shape to be considered beautiful? why do you have to have an hourglass body to be considered beautiful? i didn't understand at the time, but i really wanted to conform to today's society. i really did think that it would give me a sort of confidence and self-esteem i never really had growing up.

"i want to. . .i want to be pretty."

lisa furrowed her perfect brows in response, blue eyes staring into mine in confusion at first and then, they softened. "but you already are?"

i felt my heart skip a beat. no one ever said that. chaeyoung would often call me pretty, but i never believed it. when i looked in the mirror i didn't see one ounce of beauty. maybe it was my low self-esteem, maybe it was because i was bullied about my looks so often all throughout high school that whenever i stared at my own reflection, i would hear what the bullies used to say in my head. being called pretty by a gorgeous model as her felt different. . .a nice different and yet, it felt too good to be true.

"you're just saying that to make me feel better." i mumbled, leaning back against the black velvet couch in the makeup room.

"i never really 'just say' things. i say things, because i mean them, not because i want people to feel better or worse about themselves. as an influencer i have to speak my mind often and be honest about my opinion on certain topics. and right now, i'm being quite honest. i know beauty when i see it and i can certainly appreciate a beautiful woman or man." she spoke slowly, in a calm voice while resting her elbow against the top of the couch, chin on her palm as she used her free hand to trace different shapes. "either way, starving is never a good thing and it's not the way to go if you're trying to lose weight. not only will it damage your physical health and mental health, it will also make it easier to gain all the weight back."

"is that how it went for you?" i asked, turning to look at her and raising a brow.

she paused, no longer tracing shapes on the couch before meeting my eyes. "it is. that's why i don't wish it upon anyone, well you, to be exact."

"correction," i began, holding my index finger up. "you don't wish it upon anyone to make the same mistakes you did. i have it perfectly under control."

her eyes scanned my body up and down and then looked over at three empty ramen cups. "i can see that," she chastised and sarcastically smiled at me.

"it's none of your business, either way."

"didn't know you could turn sour this quick, sweets. it is my business, since you'll be working for the same entertainment i'm under and we'll be doing a lot of photoshoots together."

"i didn't even do the interview though?"

"you can do a new one in a few days, i talked to the ceo and he decided to fire chaemin and he asked me to help the new girl who'll be taking her place to settle in, so i'll be there to observe these interviews,"

i furrowed my brows at her. "and you're going to hire me? but you don't even know me?"

lisa grinned, eyes shining in mischief. "who said i was going to hire you right away? you're gonna have to work for it, sweets."

i blushed in embarrassment and looked away, reaching for the water bottle on the stand beside the couch. i had only known lisa for a few hours and i was already feeling strange. maybe it was the effect she had on me. i'd be lying if i said she wasn't the most gorgeous woman i had ever laid my eyes on and the way she had been acting already was stirring some butterflies in my stomach. . .
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a/n: thoughts on lisa's character so far?