Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Phillip sat in his office chair and looked at the clock. His eyes followed the ticking sound of the clock hand without blinking.

His foot kept tapping the floor.

His breath was calm but he failed to regulate the beating of his heart for a good amount of time now. And the way his body acted also seemed strange to him.

His palms were sweaty. Knees weak. Arms were heavy. He was nervous. But on the surface he looked clam and ready.

He couldn't remember the last time he had been obviously nervous. Many days and even more nights on battlefields had made his senses go numb.

Usually, he didn't feel anything at all and just pretended.

But from the very first moment he had met you, annoyed, not interested in falling for his charm, he felt some sort of connection to you. Later on that feeling had been replaced by a sense of duty since you were his new boss now. But despite your clear orders to only come over the next day, he felt the need to get into his car and drive over anyways.

Why did he feel this way?

He couldn't even tell what it was.

Love?

Loyalty?

Perhaps curiosity. Yes, that was it. It had to be.

He wouldn't have been able to explain anything else. But even though he managed to tell himself that it wasn't anything deep, he couldn't convince his heart to slow down.

"Sonofabitch...", he sighed and had to close his eyes to massage the bridge of his nose.

As he cracked his eyes open again his gaze fell onto the empty glass that sat on his table. It only had been one drink. One single one.

And still, he couldn't shake off the feeling of guilt that your request had caused in him. Your voice had sounded so desperate, so broken as you had asked him not to drive after drinking.

And he understood. He knew how it felt to be anxious because of past events.

And yet. There was this need that made Phillip's fingers tingle. He wanted to get up and check on you. He needed to make sure that everything was alright.

All of a sudden a knock made him sit up straight in his seat. His gaze jumped to the door, one hand slid under the table where he always kept a knife for backup.

But it was just one of his shadows waiting for a response.

A deep breath escaped Phillip He relaxed.

Why was he so tense?

It wasn't like he was in danger. But his nerves seemed to be wrecked like they've never been before.

"Shadow-07.", Phillip did a gesture to invite him into the room. "What's up?"

The man crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the door frame.

"It's late, commander.", he said and noticed the glass on Graves' table. "Did you drink?"

"Just one."

"I can take you home.", he offered and wiggled with his keys. "Got a new baby. Cost me fortune, would be a shame to not let her howl."

A little tired, Phillip let his head fall back and smiled.

"You didn't drink?", he asked as he wiped his face once more to get rid of the mild tiredness.

"No."

Phillip hesitated. His gaze jumped up to the clock.

23:27.

It had been a while ever since he had heard from you. But he gave a promise that he did not want to break. And it seemed like he didn't have to.

"Anyone still here, shadow?", he asked as he jumped to his feet.

Confused, the man frowned.

"Just a handful. Doing overtime.", he tilted his head. "Why?"

A satisfied smirk appeared on Phillip's face.

"Call em' together. We meet in the weapon room in five.", with a pat on his shadow shoulder he pushed past him and got moving. "I expect everyone to show up. Tell em' it's an emergency. More intel in a few."

Unusually quick for his own liking, Phillip rushed to the elevator and pushed the button a few times. It strained his nerves to wait for the arrival. As the doors finally opened, he jumped in and pushed a button a few times.

The elevator got moving.

It felt strange to be pushed down by some sort of force that he wasn't able to see. In that moment it was like he wasn't in control. If anything happened with the metal ropes of the elevator itself he'd be unable to do anything.

Was this how you felt?

Every time the two of you have had a conversation he was able to notice how much your mood had changed. And not only that he was able to feel you confusion, to sense your distress.

And for some reason it made him feel something as well. He was worried about all his soldiers whenever it was time to have a gunfight. But this was different. It wasn't the kind of worry he was used to.

He knew that there were always risks. Some got injured on deployment, others never returned. And some only came back in caskets. At this point it was already routine for him.

But he did not want to see the same happen to you. It was a different kind of worry.

And it made him unsure.

"It's just another job.", he mumbled to himself as the elevator came to a stand and demanded a security code for the last floor. "A job. And my boss. That's all. I'm doing what I'm paid for."

He pulled out his phone to open the app that provided randomised security codes. It was one of the many reasons why this company had one of the best security systems in all of the USA.

But as the screen lit up he found himself hoping to see a message of yours. Nothing specific, just a text that would tell him you were alright. Or that you had gotten out of there.

But nothing. And the last call had been a bit too long ago for his liking.

"So we're doin' this.", Phillip sighed and put in the security code. "The things I do for you, suga."