A/n: This whole chapter will bounce between Phoenix and Raven. So, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Chapter 4

"Raven, I believed you were dead,"

Phoenix

I stared at Raven, my vision blurring, making it hard to differentiate between the Raven of our childhood and the one standing before me. The younger Raven had promised to save me from Father's clutches. She, my elder sister, had assured Mother we would always be each other's keepers. Yet, she allowed a beast to turn me into one as well. Tears welled up and overflowed, reflecting her look when we learned Father would take me... or rather, Raven. Now, the older Raven stands before me, tears gathering in her eyes as she presses a hand to her mouth as if to hold back the words she yearns to say.

How could Raven cry as if she's the one who suffered the most? It was me who endured the beatings, bruises, and brokenness, and I have continued to do so since fleeing Father's clutches. During my captivity, I lost my sense of self so completely that I forgot I was Phoenix, not Raven. The agony of living with Father made me forget what happiness feels like, and now, at 15, emotions I once knew as a child seem alien to me. As I battled for my life, yearning for freedom, Raven was embraced by loved ones and had forgotten me.

"What are you crying for?" I growled.

"I caused you so much pain unintentionally!" Raven sobbed, wiping away her flowing tears. "I believed you were dead as years passed without a sign of life from you, yet occasionally, I sensed you were still alive."

"Your tears are meaningless to me; they didn't lead you through hell to rescue me from Father, did they?"

Raven trembled as she heard my words. Her violet eyes reflected the flames in my hands. I advanced towards her, and she retreated, widening the gap between us. I pondered the best and worst ways to exact revenge on Raven as I approached. Should I incinerate her and watch as she turns to bones and ashes? Cast a nightmarish spell and witness her torment? Or should I target her friends and force her to watch their agony, powerless, just as she had done to me? There are countless ways to inflict pain, but what is the ultimate method to shatter her?

What should I do to you, my dear sister? What will make you feel the anguish I endured all those years?

"How could I?!" Raven cried out, her hands quivering as she kept backing away. "I was too frightened to descend there to rescue you, let alone confront Father!"

I halted my advance. Her words stunned me. The flames on my fists extinguished, mirroring my shock at Raven's admission. She was afraid? How did she think I felt, confined there for most of my life? Raven's fear was no excuse; she had four others to aid her in my rescue.

"YOU WERE SCARED?!" I roared, thunder booming and lightning flashing overhead. "HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT, TRAPPED WITH FATHER, HIS ABUSE ALL I EVER KNEW!?! YOUR FEAR IS MEANINGLESS TO ME WHEN YOU LIVED WELL ON EARTH, BASKING IN OTHERS' LOVE!!!!"

Tears were mine to shed as the rain fell on Raven and me. All I ever heard from Raven was self-concern, never about my suffering. I might have accepted her pleas if only she acknowledged my pain and offered an apology.

"We could set things right, Phoenix; just get us out of here, and you could bring my friends back to settle the issue among us," Raven said, extending her hand as if offering me a chance to amend my mistakes.

"Is that all you're concerned with?" I asked as the rain poured down on Raven, muffling my voice.

"What did you say?"

"IS IT ONLY YOUR FRIENDS YOU CARE ABOUT?!?!"

I could see the color drain from Raven's skin. She avoided my gaze as if her actions spoke for her. It felt like Raven never truly cared about me. She seemed only to want me to retrieve her friends, making me feel like I was under Father's control again, minus the abuse. It appeared that no matter whom I encountered, they only sought to use me to advance their schemes.

"I'M DONE TALKING! I BEEN READY TO END THIS SO I CAN MOVE ON!!" I yelled, feeling a surge of rage and adrenaline. "I'M DONE BEING USED BY EVERYONE! I WANT TO CHART MY OWN COURSE!"

The flames in my hands blazed brighter than ever. Despite the rain, the fire remained unquenched. I hurled a fireball at Raven, who narrowly evaded it. The piece of the broken building in Azarath detonated upon impact with my spell. Raven soared into the sky, looking down at me. She drew her hood to shield herself from the rain.

"YOU WON'T ESCAPE ME THIS TIME!!" I screamed, pursuing Raven and launching fiery spells her way.

Raven

Phoenix is assaulting me with magic. I can't continue to dodge or deflect her spells indefinitely; a single hit could be the end of me, especially since Phoenix is determined to take me down. I need to strike swiftly before she anticipates my moves. Currently, I'm concealed within the remnants of a building, gathering my strength and formulating a plan to incapacitate Phoenix, which would allow me to rescue my friends. My experience with Phoenix in combat is limited. Still, from our last encounter two weeks ago, I recall that she relies heavily on her magical prowess, likely due to her time in Father's captivity. I realized then that I had managed to overpower Phoenix with a physical blow during an unexpected moment, indicating her vulnerability to such attacks.

How can I approach her when she is in a state of blind rage?

Before I could formulate a plan, the building I was hiding in erupted into flames. Phoenix stood amidst the rubble, her presence paralyzing. Her violet eyes shone, emanating a wave of animosity amidst the ruins of Azarath. Her gaze sent shivers down my spine. Suddenly, her eyes shifted to a magenta hue, mirroring Starfire's abilities. The wall I clung to began to dissolve under the intensity of Phoenix's gaze. Seizing the moment, I dodged the heatwave and lunged at Phoenix, aiming to bridge the gap between us.

I struck Phoenix, her gaze scorching a vast swath from the building's upper wall to the roof. Her eyes reverted to their everyday shade. In the ensuing struggle, I toppled Phoenix, but she quickly recovered, flipping our positions. She seized my arm, and a searing pain shot through me as I saw her hands turn a heated red as if scorched by a stove. Desperately, I tried to shake her off.

"This is only a small portion of the pain I felt being down there in hell with Father!!!" Phoenix barked.

Through the scorching pain, I was able to plant my feet onto Phoenix's stomach, and I used all the remaining strength I could muster to kick Phoenix off me. My kick sent Phoenix flying as her back smacked at the roof of the battle building. I could hear Phoenix yelping in pain when her back made contact with the roof. Phoenix landed hard on the ground but didn't move for a while. I used this to escape her, regroup, and develop my following actions.

Struggling through the searing pain, I managed to stand, though my balance wavered. Looking at my wounds, I saw the dark imprints of Phoenix's handprints etched into my flesh. Tears came as I observed the injury pulsating, with an orange-red fluid oozing from the burn. I fled the shattered remnants of Azarath, leaving Phoenix unconscious on the ground.

Outside, the sky remained an angry red, with black clouds now softly illuminated by the subsiding lightning. The rain continued, gently falling on my bare head. I wondered why reality hadn't reverted to normal. With Phoenix incapacitated, I should have been transported back to Titans Tower with my companions. Previously, defeating Phoenix meant everything would reset. Could this mean Phoenix's influence still lingered?

I had to return to my friends and rescue them. Robin, Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Starfire were counting on me to liberate them from Phoenix's cruel grasp. They were innocent in the conflict between Phoenix and me. It was unjust for them to suffer for my errors because I lacked the courage to fulfill my part of the bargain.

Phoenix, please tell me what I can do to alleviate your anger towards me.

I felt the strength in my legs as my knees made contact with Azarath's broken and uprooted ground. Glancing at my surroundings, I slowly soaked up the destruction that seemed to swallow me. Then a flashback popped into my head of Azarath's appearance when Father kidnapped Phoenix. I saw some resemblance; everything looked familiar, and nothing was out of place. Guilt swelled up in my heart as this pulsating thought kept in my mind, plaguing my mind for years.

It is all your fault.

"Come, my child, follow me," a soothing, kind voice said amidst the destruction.

The voice caught me off guard; how could something so kind and smooth exist amidst the ruin of Azarath? It almost sounded like a caring mother trying to comfort her child. I replayed the voice in my head, detecting no malice in the woman's tone. Somehow, I found the strength to stand and weakly followed the voice.

"Good, you're doing a good job!" the motherly voice encouraged. "Keep following my voice."

"Who are you?" I asked, trying to locate the voice owner to match it to a face. I continued following the voice through the dark ruins of Azarath. "Why are you helping me?"

The motherly voice urged me to keep following, yet she never answered my questions. Trusting my judgment, I continued to inquire as I followed the voice's guidance. The more I walked, the less broken Azarath seemed. The voice fell silent as I stood before a building that appeared to be a house. Untouched by Phoenix's dark influence, this house stood out starkly. It seemed like a beacon of hope, a saving grace, as if the rain refused to let a single drop fall upon it.

Overwhelmed, another flashback surged through me. It dawned on me that this was the house where Phoenix and I grew up with Mother. I moved toward the house but halted, unable to take another step. Despite my familiarity with it, I felt alienated, as if I had no right to be there, much less to lay a finger on it, having not spared a thought for this place or my mother in years.

"What's wrong, child?" a motherly voice called out.

I scanned my surroundings, searching for the source of the voice, but found no one. I stood alone, enveloped by the aura of the untouched house.

"I don't deserve to enter," I answered, not expecting a coherent reply from the motherly voice as I hugged my injured arms for a semblance of comfort.

"This house is as much yours as it is hers," the motherly voice assured me warmly, its tone suggesting a smile with those words.

Hers? Was she referring to Phoenix? Did Phoenix still visit this place?

"Discover what lies within!" the voice urged me.

Clutching myself, a shield against my vulnerability, I was about to turn away from the house when a gentle yet insistent hand nudged me toward the door. The white door, a barrier to the interior, halted my involuntary advance. Looking back, I saw no one who could have pushed me. Accepting this as a sign, I reached for the golden doorknob, curious about what awaited.

Phoenix

My eyes snapped open as I felt a touch in my sanctuary. Springing to my feet, it was as if I had never lost consciousness. The magical presence that invaded my sacred haven had to be Raven; she was the only one here, the only one I permitted to enter. Gathering my strength, I flew towards my refuge, a place where I sought respite from Father's fury and abuse, if only for fleeting moments. How could Raven breach my space? What was she thinking?

"She has as much right to be in that home as you do," a woman's firm and commanding voice declared, her words nearly drowning out the rain and halting the lightning within the dark clouds.

I halted mid-flight, sensing a formidable presence behind me. It felt as though I was caught in a misdeed. Bracing for a blow, I shut my eyes, anticipating Father's strike and trying to shield myself from the impending pain. But after moments of tense waiting, no pain came. No agony radiated through my body. Opening my eyes, I looked back to find no one there.

"No one will harm you, my child, but you must go to the house and speak with Raven," the voice instructed. "Please, do not fight with your sister."

With those words, the voice left me in solitude. I resumed my flight towards my haven, pondering the voice's knowledge of Raven. Why would I continue to clash with Raven, where I sought escape from Father? As I neared the house, I saw the door ajar. Approaching cautiously, I pushed the door wider and looked down, following the shadow cast inside. My gaze settled on Raven, who was contemplating a photograph on the wall—a snapshot of just the two of us facing the lens. In it, Raven's gaze was vacant while I offered a smile, oblivious to something lurking in the background.

I surmised Raven had detected my arrival as she spun around. Her body jolted with shock, and I noticed she clutched a photograph. Advancing further into the living room, my gaze drifted from Raven, taking in any alterations since my absence. The white couch remained unmoved; vibrant flowers added life to the space. A tranquil feeling enveloped me, quelling any desire for confrontation. As my focus returned to Raven, a subtle movement caught my eye—Raven was edging away, just as she had previously.

"Phoenix, I'm not here to fight. Let's talk," implored Raven, setting the photo down, hands raised in peace.

"Why would I fight you here?" I countered, leaning casually against the wall, eyes fixed on her. "I have no wish to return to a damaged sanctuary."

A heavy silence fell, each of us scrutinizing the other for deceit. Raven averted her gaze first, eyes wandering to the photographs adorning the walls and furniture. She fixated on a portrait featuring a faceless woman cloaked in white, her purple hair matching ours.

"Why does this picture include a faceless woman alongside us?" Raven queried, her confusion evident as she sought to identify the figure.

"I've always believed it was our mother, but her face... it escapes me. Hence, she remains without one," I responded, observing Raven's every nuance while remaining against the wall.

"Are we inside your mind?" Raven persisted, wandering through the house, absorbing every detail. "Is this house as you remember it?"

"You're not inside my mind; if that were the case, you would have either perished instantly or lost your sanity irretrievably," I replied to Raven's inquiry. "Regarding the house, it is indeed a reconstruction from my memories. However, akin to my recollections of our mother, certain aspects of the house are indistinct because I can't recall everything."

Raven meandered through the house, her gaze catching on familiar yet hazy fragments of the place. Her gray hands grazed the surfaces of objects within reach, her actions suggesting a reacquaintance with their textures. Being in her presence felt surreal, sharing a room with Raven after believing such a moment would never occur again. I had often envisioned what Raven would look like and how she would react, not having seen me for years. I pictured a reunion filled with joy and heartfelt exchanges between long-lost twin sisters, sharing stories of the life events we missed while apart—Raven recounting her experiences beyond Father's oppressive shadow, contrasting with my own tales of suffering and despair.

The revelation of Raven's comfortable life and her apparent disregard for my plight under Father's hand ignited an unexpected resentment within me. Could we ever achieve the harmonious sisterly bond I had dreamt of, now marred by the knowledge of Raven's indifference to my existence?

"I must say, sister, you have an impressive memory," Raven complimented, her nod pulling me back to the present. "I couldn't recall a single detail about this house, much less the placement of furniture and pictures."

"We may be twins, but you forfeited the right to call me sister," I cautioned Raven.

I saw the hurt expression on Raven's face, but she quickly masked it with a nod. For some reason, my heart ached to see Raven in pain. Typically, it doesn't affect me when someone near me, like Father or his followers, is injured. So why does it hurt now? Silence descended again as Raven continued to search, now moving into the dimly lit kitchen.

"I'm guessing you don't cook much here, huh?" Raven attempted to break the tension with a light-hearted comment.

"Obviously not," I responded, arms folded.

Raven

I felt hurt that Phoenix didn't see me as a sister, yet I understood her reasons. I hadn't behaved as a family member should, nor had I protected and rescued her as an older sibling might. I observed that the entire kitchen was a blur, indicating Phoenix's lack of memory of its appearance. Typically, I appreciated the silence afforded to me, but now it was uncomfortable, as though I was treading on eggshells. I wondered what Beast Boy would do in such a moment.

"I'm guessing you don't cook much here, huh?" I attempted to break the tension with a light-hearted comment.

"Obviously not," Phoenix responded, arms folded.

Overwhelmed with embarrassment, I almost slapped my forehead. In that instant, I empathized with Beast Boy when his jokes fell flat with the team. Seizing the moment, I moved from the kitchen to another part of the house—the stairs. As far as I remembered, the stairs led to the second floor, home to Phoenix's room, Mother's, and mine, as well as the shared bathroom. I glanced up the stairs, placing my hand on the railing fastened to the wall. I ascended the carpeted stairs but halted midway. Turning, I saw Phoenix's gaze fixed on me, her irises devoid of emotion. Stepping off the stairs, I faced Phoenix, who now arched her right eyebrow, a sign of her piqued curiosity.

"What?" Phoenix inquired, shrugging her shoulders.

"Do you mind if I go upstairs?" I asked, thumb pointing over my shoulder at the staircase.

"Why would you ask that?" Phoenix's curiosity was piqued. "This house is as much yours as it is mine. You're free to do as you please here."

"I just want to pay my respects," I explained.

Taking the implied permission, I ascended the stairs. Behind me, soft, muffled footsteps followed. Glancing back, I saw Phoenix trailing. Our eyes met for a fleeting moment before I continued upwards. Climbing slowly, I tried to envision what our shared room might have looked like. I wondered if Phoenix's memories of the room were as clear as mine before Azarath was erased by Father's brutal conquest in his search for me.

Reaching the top of the stairs once more, everything was a blur except for the three distinct doorways. To the best of my recollection, the bathroom was through the door at the far end of the second floor. The door at the opposite end had to lead to our mother's room. The middle door was the one Phoenix, and I shared; I could discern from the closed door that my name was inscribed in an indigo, purple hue, while Phoenix's was in black with red flames adorning each end of her name.

"Did our room door always look like this?" I inquired, admiring Phoenix's recollection.

"Absolutely. This door would always appear in my dreams, so it was impossible to forget. It brought me the most solace in this house," Phoenix affirmed, standing behind me.

"May I go in?"

"The choice is yours," she replied.

Approaching the closed door, I grasped the doorknob, turning it to reveal the secrets it concealed. As the door swung open, I was greeted by a room divided down the middle: one half cloaked in black, the other bathed in purple. At the base of the wall, a streak of red caught my eye, giving way to tiny flames that danced upwards, while above, blue flames seemed to cascade downwards. Turning away, I was met with walls adorned with papered drawings. The purple backdrop was scattered with colored clays, mimicking crayons, and shards of glass that reflected like a contemporary mirror.

Delving further into the room, I examined the papered drawings more closely. A series of portraits of the same girl came into view, each one chronologically aligned from left to right. The earliest, labeled "Age 7," was a crude depiction with disjointed lines. As time progressed, so did the skill, culminating in a detailed portrayal of a fifteen-year-old. With her short to medium-length purple bob and features mirroring my own, the girl seemed to be my penciled reflection.

"Are all these drawings of me?" I asked, pointing at the drawings.

"Yeah, they are as the year goes by; I would draw you, guessing to see how you would look as we or as I got older," Phoenix lightly smiled as she looked down and seemed embarrassed. "On our birthday, I would use magic to make you and Mother appear and "we" can blow out the candles,"

Hearing this saddened me as I realized I had done nothing to rescue Phoenix from Father. Guilt gnawed at me while I watched Phoenix, now self-consciously holding her arm, looking uncomfortable in the room. I struggled to hold back tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. I felt a surge of self-disgust but suppressed it. Phoenix didn't deserve the life I had forced upon her because I was too frightened to confront Father and become his pawn. Phoenix belonged with the Teen Titans, fighting crime and saving the world alongside Beast Boy, Starfire, Cyborg, and Robin. Instead, I was the one who should have stayed with Father, having failed to save Phoenix from the imprisonment she endured to ensure my happiness. It was I who should have been transformed into the monster, having abandoned Phoenix to Father's clutches for years.

"I didn't deserve to be part of the ideal birthday party you envisioned for us," I declared sadly.

"Raven, I believed you were dead," Phoenix explained, still appearing uneasy. "At that time, I felt that even the dead deserved a birthday celebration, don't you agree?"

"I do, but I didn't deserve one, not from you,"

"You're right, you didn't,"

I glanced at Phoenix; she wasn't looking at me but out the window. She gazed at the still-red sky with black clouds hovering over the shattered Azarath. For the first time since Phoenix had awakened, she wore a serene expression. Observing Phoenix's appearance, it was clear we resembled each other, yet there were noticeable differences. One was Phoenix's left eyebrow; a section of hair was missing, leaving a bald spot within the arch. Another was a significant scratch starting from the bald spot, crossing over her left eye, and ending at her left cheek.

I wanted to say that Phoenix seemed at peace, perhaps for the first time in years. Once ablaze with anger, her eyes now appeared calm, like the ocean. I was relieved that Phoenix wasn't attacking me as before. I was grateful for heeding the voice that led me here to sanctuary, where Phoenix couldn't tear me apart.

"You know, I have a picture of us from when we were younger," I said, breaking the silence between us.

"Oh, really?" Phoenix asked, tilting her head to the side, her expression quickly turning stern. "Don't lie to me; you're already on my kill list."

I summoned the picture I had kept for years using my magic. The charred image materialized in the palm of my hand. I passed the photo to Phoenix so she could see it. As her eyes fell upon the image, she burst into tears, covering her mouth in shock. She looked up at me, tears streaming down her face, which made me tear up as she gazed back at the picture.

"This was the last photo we ever took together," Phoenix said, voice breaking as she wiped away her tears. "You didn't use magic to restore this burnt part of the photo?"

"Why should I?" I challenged, approaching Phoenix for the first time since arriving in a devastated Azarath. "If I did, the photo would lose its authenticity," I reasoned.

I offered Phoenix a gentle smile, and although she attempted to reciprocate, her lips barely curved into a smile. I longed for the days when Phoenix's smile was wide and carefree, as it was in our youth. I realized it might take years for her to smile that way again, acknowledging the extent of the harm I had inflicted on my younger sister.

"Phoenix, I must apologize for leaving you when you needed me most. I failed to honor our agreement and rescue you as promised; instead, I was a coward, abandoning you to suffer with Father," I confessed, looking into her eyes to convey my profound remorse. "I hope you can forgive me,"

"I accept your apology, and I'm willing to forgive you, but earning back my trust will take considerable effort," Phoenix cautioned me.

"I'm prepared to work for your complete trust, Phoenix," I agreed, smiling faintly.