One of my best titles ever.

 " ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Pirates: W- What strength ! He kicked away that weird-ass ship !

Krieg: that kicking technique... !

"Heh, not bad."

Patty: SAAAAANJIIIII !! You trying to kill your own side ?!

Sanji: ... Yeah.

Patty: Did your brains become boiled into stew, you retard ?!

Carne: You almost lost 2 powerful fighters, you spaghetti-head !!

Pirates: Powerful ? Ha ! Even if you hold weapons, a cook's still a cook. So why don't you scram back into some kitchen on land ! Don't compare us to other pirates you've crossed before ! We're pirates of Don Krieg, the ruler of East Blue !

Cooks: Shit... these guys are strong... they're nothing like the other pirates that we've met before !

Patty: Are you gonna let them beat you that easily ?!

Carne: And you call yourselves fighting cooks ?!

Pirates: So what if you're fighting cooks ?! We fight for a living ! So just quietly hand this boat over to us !

Patty: 10 years since we've become cooks ! And 300 restaurants we've gone to ! In every single one of them, we'd get into fight and refuse to be hired ! Those days were rough...

Carne: After searching and searching, we finally came to this restaurant. Here, whether it be fighting or cooking, we can do it as much as we want !

Both: THERE AIN'T ANOTHER PLACE AS GOOD AS THIS SHOP ! AS IF WE'D HAND IT OVER TO YOU PIRATE SCUM !!

Pirates: What's up with these guys ?!

Patty: THIS IS THE POWER OF FIGHTING COOKS OF THE SEA !!

???: Sigh... The hell are you guys doing... ?

Patty: Hmm ? Who's this guy- GAAAH !!!

Pearl: HAAAA HAHAHA ! BEHOLD ! My invincible iron wall !!

Pirate: Pearl !

Cook: Patty ! Carne ! You alright ?!

Pearl: Haaaa hahaha ! You won't be standing after my lethal punch ! You just got a good taste of my special "Pearl presents" !

Pirate: hey look ! This guy's got a damn fine knife on him ! Heh heh, don't mind if I do, this should cut better than my knife. Hm ?!

Patty: U... Ugh...

Pirate: Hey, let go ! Let go of your damn hand ! Just frickin' die already !!

Pirate: W... Wha...

Cook: No matter how many times I see it, his kicks are amazing...

Sanji: A kitchen knife is the soul of a cook. It's not something an amateur like you, should even think about touching.

Patty: Sanji...

Sanji: Here... Now make sure you kick the bucket for good this time. I'll handle the rest.

Pirates: Handle, my ass !! You're just a cook ! You think you can take us pirates on ?! Hm ? Wha-

Sanji: Just a cook ? I'll kill you scum...

Pearl: Hah ! To beat up all of them using only your feet, you strike me as a rather lazy guy... Or is that your policy ?

Sanji: A cook's hands are his life. I can't risk fighting with them; But don't worry, my feet will be more than enough to beat you down.

Pearl: YOU beat ME down ? I'm afraid that just ain't happening ! In all the 61 fight I've been in, I won them all without even so much as a scratch on me ! You may protect your hands in a fight, but I fight while protecting my entire body. I've never even lost a single drop of blood in a ll the fights I've been in. Not one, single drop. that's proof of my invincible strength ! That's why they call me Krieg pirates' "Iron shield Pearl" ! And my iron defense, has got quite the fashion sense. Ain't I stylish ?

"What's up with that guy... ?"

Krieg: Hey, brats ! You'll get hurt if you look away in a fight !

"Oh right, you're still here... The minor inconvenience, yes..."

I could effortlessly dodge that huge drag he was throwing at us, but, being stuck in the middle of the ocean, Luffy couldn't, and was sent away.

Sanji: Alright, that's enough talk from you. I'd like to see you try to fight ME without getting hurt !!

Pearl: I can even withstand a direct blast from a battleship cannon !! No matter the attack, I'm impenetrable !

Sanji: Hm ?

"Hey Luffy, you alright ?"

Luffy: Yeah, but that was close. Glad I didn't fall into the ocean. Hm ?

Pearl: Huh ?

Krieg: Shit...

Pirates: IT'S BLOOD ! OH SHIT !!

Pearl: Blood... !

Pirates: Pearl, it's fine ! It's just a little nosebleed ! Everyone gets those ! You haven't really been hurt at all ! So just calm down, Pearl !!

"What is happening..."

Pearl: My... Iron wall was broken through ! These guys are dangerous !

Sanji: The hell's up with him ?

Luffy: It's just a little nosebleed...

Krieg: PEARL !! Stop it ! There's no need to go wild over a damn nosebleed ! This ain't the jungle !

Cooks: Something's happening...

Pearl: I'M IN DANGER !! I'M IN DANGER !!

Pirates: Pearl ! Calm down !!

"Fire ?!"

Pirates: Crap ! he's doing that thing he learned to do while growing up in the jungle ! Back in the jungle full of wild beats, every time Pearl felt that he was in danger, he has a habit of lighting a fire !

"A defense tactic against beasts ?!"

Pearl: DON'T YOU DARE GET CLOSE TO ME ! FIRE PEARL'S...

Pirates: HOT ! HOT ! HOT ! PLEASE STOP, PEARL !!

Cooks: crap ! Our ship's gonna catch on fire !

Pearl: BURN !! With my flame shield, my iron wall is now even more invincible !

Krieg: that damn idiot... is he trying to burn down the very ship we're trying to steal into cinders ?

"This... has turned into a complicated situation... What to do now... ?"

Pirates: Shit ! Fire in the front and the ocean to the back !! We've got no place to run to !!

Pirate: HOT !!! I can't take it anymore ! Jump into the sea !

Pearl: Can't get near me, can you ?!

Sanji: That bastard... Don't you dare burn this restaurant down !!

Pirates: Talk about reckless ! Does he want to be burned alive ?!

Pearl: H- How could you attack me, the fire Pearl that even wild beasts won't approach ?!

Sanji: Idiot. How could a chef even cook, if he was afraid of fire ?

Pearl: D- Damn you ! Why you dandy son of a... ! FIRE PEARL PRESENT !!

Pirates: AHHH ! He got him ! He slipped past Pearl's iron wall ! Just who is this cook ?! He's serious trouble !

Pearl: My... MY FACE !! DANGER ! HE'S TOO DANGEROUS ! MORE FIRE ! MORE FIRE PEARLS !!

Cooks: AGHHH ! he's planning to burn down the restaurant ! This place is goners if the fire spreads to the kitchen !! SIR ! RUN AWAY !!

Zeff: I may have lost one leg, but this is nothing I can't handle.

Cooks: That's incredible, sir !! He put out the fire with the wind blast created from his kick !

Pirates: Holy crap ! Maybe red-leg Zeff still got it... ?!

"Okay, now that was amazing."

Krieg: That idiot Pearl's more trouble than he's worth ! Before that fire spreads to the rest of the restaurant, I'll sink those "fins" !!

Cooks: Sanji ! Watch out ! It's no good ! he's surrounded by flames !

"Oh, now I know what to do. Shortcut."

Luffy: Hot !!

Cooks: Errand boys !!

"Luffy, you ready to throw that back !!"

Luffy: Of course ! GUM GUM... BAZOOKA !!! HOOOOT !!!

Cooks: They hit it back !!

"Well, ain't that convenient."

It wasn't specially hard to make that pole fall right where I wanted, and I swear Pearl lost at least 10 centimeters after getting through it.

Pearl: U... Ugh...

Pirates: PEARL !!

Sanji: What's up with this dude ?

"Dunno, but I ain't complaining. Less noise and less fire now at least."

Luffy: Maybe he was mentally ill.

Krieg: Useless idiots... In the end, the only one I can count on is me !

Zeff: AHHH !!

Gin: Please stop fighting, Sanji. I don't want to end up killing you.

Sanji: Gin, you... !

Gin: No matter how great of a man he may have been in the past, he's just another cook that I can easily kill at gunpoint now.

Patty: That bastard ! He broke the owner's pegleg ! You son of a... !

Luffy: That's it, I'm gonna send him flying !

Sanji: Wait. let's see what he has to say first.

Gin: You want to save this man, don't you Sanji ? Then leave this ship !

Pirates: thank god... Who knows what would've happened if Pearl continued his rampage ! Looks like he's been put down for now.

Sanji: Leave this ship ? As if !

Cooks: S- Sanji you idiot ! Don't provoke him anymore or owner Zeff will be...

Sanji: Old man, you're pathetic. That's the kind of example you set when the other cooks are trying to fight ?!

Zeff: Hmph. I don't need to hear that from a little eggplant like you.

Sanji: Who you calling a little eggplant, you damn geezer ! You can't treat me as a kid forever !!

Cooks: Sanji, you idiot ! Now's not the time for this ! You're not trying to got him killed now, are you !

Sanji: Gin. Take your gun. And point it at me.

"... Are you stupid ? You'll die instead."

Sanji: Whatever.

Cooks: W- What're you saying ?! Sanji !!

Gin: Sanji... but why ?!

Pearl: If you want to die so badly.. Then I'll kill you nice and flashy ! I'd never have imagined even in my dreams that I, iron wall Pearl, would be given a double nosebleed in a single fight. I see now how dangerous you guys are. Now don't move if you don't want that old man's head to be blown off ! ULTRA NATURAL PEARL...

"You're annoying. Go to hell."

https://youtu.be/T8Eu15L3mdE

"This evening's menu: fried pearl. And don't you dare use that as an excuse to shoot that old man, I technically never moved."

Sanji: Gin, you cheap son of a bitch... There's no way I can accept your conditions !

Gin: Why not ?! It's simple ! Just leave the ship and you can spare everyone's lives ! All you have to do is leave...

Sanji: This ship, it the geezer's treasure ! I took everything away from that damn geezer. His strength ! His dreams ! Which is why... I DON'T WANT HIM TO LOSE ANYTHING ELSE !!

Zeff: Damn pipsqueak... Now's not the time to ramble about ancient history...

Sanji: SHUT UP !! And I told you to not treat me as a kid anymore !!

"And here I thought you hated him... What happened, to make you think you took everything away from him... ?"

Sanji: ... He ate his own leg and gave me all the food... He saved my life... I'm not handing over that restaurant. And I won't let you kill the damn geezer either... He's a geezer who gave up everything for the sake of one little brat. IF I CAN'T EVEN PUT MY LIFE AT RISK TO SAVE HIM, THEN I CAN NEVER REPAY MY DEBT TO HIM !!