Why I Hate Kai #19: He's just another person who'll leave me

  We strolled around for a bit, Kai even bought me a small bag of mini doughnuts from this food truck. I could tell something was up though because he was bouncing around a lot. Maybe it was leftover adrenaline from patrol but the two thing fingers and jiggling leg when we sat down was very unusual. He led me on a nice walk through the park and I enjoyed the scenery as I nibbled on my cinnamon sugar doughnuts.

Many teenagers from our school stared at him, some burst into tears (probably exes) and others were trying to get his attention. Ugh. Sometimes I question the intelligence of our modern society.

  After waving off a small freshman girl, Kai then spoke to me.

  "So, um, Isla." He started.

  "Mmf?" I asked through my doughnut.

  "I've been wanting to talk to you about this for awhile now...." He continued.

  "Okay, sure." I brushed the crumbs off my mouth and dug in for another one.

  Kai paused for a moment, his fingers nervously tangling together. "IkindareallylikeyouIsla."

  I froze, doughnut half-way in my mouth. "What?"'

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Kai asked with a grin.

My brain screamed and my mouth couldn't seem to work. He looked so confident, so sure of himself. Suddenly I was shaking my head, the doughnut falling back into the bag.

  "No."

His eyebrows shot up and bystanders shamelessly eavesdropping gasped.

"No!" I felt panic grip me as I stepped back.

"Why not?" Kai questioned his brow furrowed.

  "I like you Kai but not that way." I managed through my gasping breath.

  "Why can't you try it out? Maybe you do like me, I mean Zane did some scams over your behavioural patterns or whatever and apparently-"

"I can't like you Kai!" I finally shouted. It was out now. "Maybe I do like you just a little bit but I can't!"

  Kai blinked. "I get that you're a little scared from your bad experiences-"

  "They're not just bad experiences of a naive teenager Kai!" I shouted. "They're raw feelings that I finally revealed to the world that were used. I can't just out myself out there."

"But we can fix it!" Kai replied. "It'll work out fine!"

I shook my head. "You're playing with fire Kai Smith!" I snapped, my eyes gearing into his own.

  His lips turned into a sickening smirk. "Then it's a good thing I don't burn."

  I shook my head again, my hand trembling as I raked my finger through my hair. "That's just it. I'm the only one who's going to get hurt in this scenario."

  "You won't-" he tried.

  "Yes I will! You're going to play my heart just like everyone else. And maybe I will actually fall in love! But once more it'll be torn from me. But this time I won't be able to recover, I can't do it again Kai. I can't." I tried desperately for him to understand, like how I thought he did before.

"Why don't you trust me? Why don't you ever trust me?" He yelled.

I began to step away. "Because all you ever seem to care about it Kai and it's hard to trust someone who's ready to break my heart."

I watched as he stood hopelessly. "I'm sorry Kai."

I handed him the doughnuts. "Here, you can have the rest." Then I turned and left.

******

  The walk home was depressing. I was so ready to say I didn't love him. When deep down I did. It was just another life I couldn't have. Another heart I'd give that would break. Kai had caught my eye with his cocky attitude and joyful presence. I had fallen for him no matter how hard I tried not too.

  I had tried so hard to hate him. He had everything I didn't. Non awkward social interactions, confidence in how people liked him, undying affection from everyone. The green monster had reared and my permanent dislike had started.

He saw through my shell and found the vulnerable part of me I hardly revealed to everyone. He had felt the same protection I had with Leif. The flirtatious attitude and warm brown eyes had led me to realize his identity. His determination and attitude had led me to making more friends.

  I felt empty inside. Another piece of me was torn out as I finally found the apartment and climbed achingly up the stairs. I made it to my door and with a sigh I slid the key in but as I did someone tapped me on the shoulder.

  "Not now Kai-" but it wasn't Kai. My breathe cut short when the familiar face appeared in my line of vision.

  "Dad?"

A/N*****

The next chapter may be a long one because I have to wrap stuff up. I can't believe I'm almost done! Out of Balance may have a late update because I really want to finish this!

LuckyBugBooks 🐞