Sometimes I think my life is reaching a halt.

I look back and realize it's all been the same circle of shit,

A circle I have yet to see an exit to.

It's like a roundabout from hell, but then again they all are.

It feels like I've just stopped, never to move again.

As if I were a planet itself, forever stuck in orbit.

Never moving out of the norm, staying in the same loop of shit. 

I meet people, I do new things but in the end I reach this same spot.

The spot where I think back to good times, when I was happy and solid.

The times when that one person made me soar, made my heart fucking skip a beat.

And I look at everything now and it all seems so bland, like I'm looking through a filter.

A filter that takes in the good, and pushes out the bad.

It might be because I'm typing this at 1 AM, but my feelings feel so.. empty.

Happiness, a figment of my imagination. Love a rush or dopamine, or whatever the fuck it is.

Sadness, the only real thing that I can always count on to be there. 

I say I love, but at times like these, at my "numb times" I question do I love? 

Am I, Slozalokavich, capable of love? 

Am I, Slozaloakvich, capable of feeling happy? 

And I have yet to answer those questions, just like before. 

Because as I said before, I think my life has reached a halt.

Never to move again, only to loop back into the same pit of despair I now find myself in.