-POV Kaleb West The Chatot

"WHY IS HE SO PERFECT!?" I shouted in anger.

"Who me?" Percy chimed in pointing to himself and fluttering his eyes.

"I don't have time for your silly charms Percy! I'm in rage mode!" I shouted.

"Well why are you in rage mode?" Ariel asked.

"It's because of this stupid Bidoof!" I complained.

"What's his name?" Percy asked.

"It's Bidoof! Why? I don't know, oh yeah, it's so he can be even more average than he already is!" I shouted back.

"You're raging at him because he's so average? That seems stupid," Ariel said.

"YOUR FACE IS STUPID!" I shouted.

"Classic Kaleb," Ariel said.

"YOUR FACE IS CLASSIC KALEB!"

"Really?" Ariel said as she rolled her eyes.

"YOUR FACE IS REALLY!"

"Ok Kaleb. Now this just sounds stupid," Percy said.

"YOUR FACE SOUNDS STUPID!"

"Aw. My feelings," Percy said.

"YOUR FACE IS AW MY FEELINGS!"

"Why do you keep doing that?" Ariel asked.

"I'M IN RAGE MODE!" I shouted as I storm out of Percy's house.

This Bidoof guy was aparently nominated for the most average guy in New Dice City, and get this, he lost! Making him even more average and less significant! How does he stay this average? Well I'm gonna find out. I brought Scarlet with me because she rules. Plus she's the only one of my friends who doesn't think this whole thing is stupid. We're gonna march into his home and scold him for being average. Am I a bad person for this? Meh. I'll leave that to fan speculation.

I was amazed. Bidoof's house was literally the same house you see in commercials. There was nothing special about it! It was so . . . AVERAGE! The house is a little white cottage. Everthing about the house felt plain. I marched up and pounded on the door repeatedly.

"You can stop now. I think he got the message we're here." Scarlet said while I continue to pound the door. The door slowly opened.

"Well hello friend. I wasn't expecting visitors, but I'm fine. Come on in guys," Bidoof said with a stupid grin across his face.

I muttered to myself, "I'm only your friend because having someone as awesome as me makes you less average."

Scarlet and I stepped inside. Well Scarlet floated in. She doesn't really have legs. She is a Munna after all. The inside was just as average as the outside. Nothing of interest. White wall, oak wood floors, and simple furniture made up the room. Bidoof walked over to an average grey couch with yellow throw pillows.

"Well have a seat visitors. I'll go get a cup of water for you guys," Bidoof said as he left the room. Water? How inconsiderate! We are his guest and the best drink he can give us is water? While I was disgusted about how normal the house was, Scarlet seemed to be admiring it. What's going on?

Bidoof came back out.

"Well here you go my friends," Bidoof said. I was about to grab a cup, but then my worst nightmare happened.

Scarlet jumped up, or floated up? I really don't know how to put that.

"I wanna be just like you Bidoof!" she announced.

"What?!" I shouted.

Bidoof searched for words to respond, "Uh? Well, that's wonderful! We can hang out more, and I can tell you all the wonderful things about being an average Bidoof!"

Oh no. This was bad.

Well two days had past since our visit to Bidoof's. You'd think that by two days later, Scarlet would be over this Bidoof drama. Nope! She decided to go and be all stupid and become an apprentice to Bidoof! Who does that?

"You know, biologically, you can't become a Bidoof," Ariel said. Thank you!

Percy shushed her, "Shh! Don't crush Scarlet's wonderful dreams!"

"No! Crush her dreams. Crush them long and good! Becoming a Bidoof is the last thing we need. Bidoof is a poison to society. Bidoof is the esence of all evil! Bidoof is," I was interrupted.

"Standing right behind you," Ariel said.

"Oh. Hey Bidoof. I'm ready to start my Bidoof training," Scarlet said.

"Bidoof training?" I asked.

"Well you can't become a top class Bidoof without training," Scarlet said.

"True true! This type of stuff takes many years to learn, but Scarlet here is an excellent student and is learning at triple the rate. It's as if her mind is so empty, there's room for all sorts of knowledge!" Bidoof exclaimd.

"Whoa! I didn't know that it went that deep!" Percy cheered.

"Don't you get any ideas Percy! I can't lose another," I said.

"I'm ready Bidoof," Scarlet said.

"Great! Come with me then!" Bidoof said as they left.

"WHAT!?"

The next day, I took Scarlet to therapy. This was soon going to escalate farther than I could imagine. I had to stop it before I couldn't contain it.

"Let's see what we're dealing with here," said the psychologist who happened to be a Hypno.

"Ok then," Scarlet agreed.

"Now Scarlet. What Pokemon are you?" he asked.

"A Munnadoof," she said. I face palmed. (Well I have a wing, but you get the point here.)

"Ok then. That's ok. I myself happen to secretly be a Ditto," the Hypno said.

"WAIT! REALLY?" I shouted.

"No. I'm just a creep," The Hypno said.

"That's nice to know," I said.

"Call me Hector," The Hypno said.

"Ok Hector. You got any more therapy stuff?" I asked.

"Yep. Any friends?" Hector asked.

"Uh, yeah. A Pikachu, Minccinno, a Jirachi, and a Starly," I said.

"WAIT! THE STARLY! Where does she live? Is she single?" Hector creepily asked.

"And now we're done. Bye!" I said as I yanked Scarlet out of the room on her leash. Yes, to get her hear, I had to kidnap her. Don't judge me. You'd do the same to save your friend!

A week later, the problems got even worse. Scarlet had decided to dress as a Bidoof from now on. (She bought a costume.)

"You know, if you wanna pull off this Bidoof thing, you can't float. Even though you're dressed as one, you don't walk like one," Percy said.

"There's a bigger problem than that. SHE'S NOT A BIDOOF!" I shouted.

"I can be what I want to be Kaleb!" Scarlet shouted. Percy, Ariel, and I were stunned. That was the first time that Scarlet ever showed any real emotion or raised her voice. She turned around and angrily floated away.

Next day, it had to stop. Scarlet was no longer Scarlet. She was like posessed or something.

"I think posessed is going a little too far. She's just weird like this," Ariel said.

The Munna dressed as a Bidoof spoke, "Bi Bi! Doof!" she barked I guess.

"What?" I asked.

"Bidoof? Bi bi doof!" Scarlet barked.

"See! She's posessed by a Bidoof spirit!" I said.

"There's no such thing as a Bidoof spirit! This whole thing must be going to her head," Ariel said.

"So you can believe that a Ghastly or Gengar exist, but a simple Bidoof Spirit is hard to believe!" I said.

"Bidoof Spirit is just your excuse to go to that creepy exorcist guy downtown!" Ariel said.

"He had a cool sign, and I wanna go in, but my parents won't let me ok! I guess we'll just have to do this ourselves!" I said.

"We're not going to perform an exorcist on Scarlet!" Ariel scolded.

"Wait. Who said we? I was gonna have you do it. I don't want that Bidoof Spirit to go into me next," I said.

"There's no Bidoof Spirit! Just get her help," Ariel said.

"Supernatural help?" Percy asked.

"Shut up," Ariel huffed.

"Fine,l let's take her to the hospital again," I suggested. I approached Scarlet. As I did, she hissed and floated off away.

"Scarlet!" I shouted.

I began to chase after her. She continued to float away. I saw a bunch of tents coming up. Of course she decided to take our little chase scene through an art festival! I dodged paintings and sculptures all over the place. I may have shoved a poor Budew's head into a paint can. Scarlet zipped around into the big box store Woo-Mart. I had to go in after her.

The store was buzzing with Pokemon everywhere. Classic Woo-Mart. Luckily I knew where to find Scarlet, the aisle of Munna Munch. You'd think she'd be insulted by the fact that they make dog food for Munnas but whatever. Scarlet was floating in place and staring at the wall of Munna Munch (dog food) as if she was in a trance.

"Hey Scarlet, are you done yet?" I asked. Scarlet turned around and hissed at me again. She flashed out of the store. I ran towards the door and bumped into, uh oh, Clean Mantyke.

"Oh hey Kaleb! Long time no see right?" he said.

"Uh. Sure. Yeah. Two days is a long time," I said. I didn't have the time to entertain this Mantyke.

"So I'm in a hurry right now so I need your help. Which gum brand should I buy? Spearminty or FruitJuicy?" the Mantyke asked. Oh he's in a hurry eh?

"Uh. Just get the spear whatever!" I shouted.

"Kaleb! You can't just randomly pick something! You have to examine all the pros and cons of each item to ensure maximum happiness when chewing. Don't you know logic Kaleb? My goodness gracious! What has the world come to?" Clean Mantyke shouted.

"Yeah this world is pretty screwed. Welp I gotta go so bye!" I shouted as I hopped over the (short) Mantyke and out the door.

As if my problems couldn't get worse, I bumped into Macy.

"Kaleb! How's it going? Is Scarlet ok? I saw her floating away dressed as a Bidoof," she said.

"No! She's possesed by a Bidoof Spirit! Well Ariel doesn't believe me so we're taking her to the hospital first. Then the Bidoof Spirit!" I shouted.

"Oh really. You know, I think I have one in my house. I tried wacking it to death with a bat, but they are intangible so you know how it goes," she said. Arceus, my friends are crazy.

"Glad someone believes! I gotta go so bye!" I shout as I rushed off.

I caught up with Scarlet. She darted around corners until she bumped into a post. The post was for a banner. The banner said "Welcome All Bidoof to the Bidoof Gathering!" What?

Scarlet turned back and looked at me. I stopped running. She floated into the crowd of Bidoof. I rushed into the horde after her. All these Bidoof were so average! You could practically feel your personality and character being sucked away when you were around them. I took a glance at an odd looking Bidoof. That had to be Scarlet. I turned the Bidoof around. I was right.

Scarlet finally spoke words again, "How did you know that I was the right one?" she asked.

"Because you're my friend!" I said.

"Really?" she asked.

"Well yeah and the fact that you're the only pink and floating Bidoof in the entire stupid gathering," I said.

"Oh." Scarlet said.

"What's with this whole Bidoof thing anyway?" I asked.

"Maybe I just want to be a Bidoof!" she snapped her face turned red.

"But what's so wrong with being Munna?" I asked. "I happen to like Munna's." Scarlet's face turns from red to pink. She sighs and floats beside me.

"I don't know . . . I guess I thought being a simple Bidoof would get rid of all my problems."

"Problems?"

"Well I guess Bidoofs are just average. They don't worry about people liking them or not. They don't have issues with family, friends, or anything. They're just average Bidoof."

"You do realize the average Bidoof also have problems." I said.

"Like what?"

"Well for starters that Bidoof over there got his head stuck in a cup." I said pointing to a Bidoof whose struggling to get a plastic cup off his head.

"We can hear you," complained all the Bidoof.

"Fred's not the brightest Bidoof." one of the Bidoof said patting Fred on the back.

"None of you are bright." I muttered.

"I take offense." a Bidoof whined.

"Arceus these creatures are annoying. Let's get out of here." I said. Scarlet sighed and ditched the Bidoof costume.

"Ugh don't tell me there's still something wrong." I complained.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." she insisted.

I pause for a moment not believing her. "Well if you say so." I shrugged. "Want to go get ice cream?" I asked. Scarlet noded, and we head off to get ice cream.