Jack somehow made it through Christmas, though what he really wanted to do was just sleep and swim. He and Jake drove Marian to the Stockton Amtrak station on Christmas Eve, with plans in place for Jack and Marian to see each other back in LA.

Christmas passed quietly enough, and Jack was glad to be with his family, who were kind and tactful. The presents that he knew had been bought by them for Kelsey disappeared from under the tree, and no one mentioned her name to him. Even his brothers, who loved to tease him about everything under the sun, knew to leave him alone. With this breakup, he had joined their ranks, he was one of them. And no one talked to him about it, though they all let him know they were available if he wanted to.

Two days after Christmas, he and Jake drove back to LA in Jack's car. Perversely, the weather had cleared, and the sky was a deep, crisp blue, the edges of the coast range and the snowcapped Sierras looking sharp and close enough to touch.

"Bro," Jake began, putting a comforting hand on Jack's knee. They were just south of Fresno, and Jake was driving the Prius, while Jack slouched against the door.

Jack looked over at his brother. "Yo," he responded.

"You can't let it keep getting you down, man," Jake finally said, squeezing his little brother's knee. "You still have half a year of school, championships, then finals--you have a lot coming up, you can't fall apart now."

"That's rich, coming from the guy who didn't get out of bed for a solid week when Kayla Mitchell broke up with him," Jack retorted, whacking Jake good-humoredly on the chest.

"Dude, that was different," Jake said with a laugh. "I was in high school, I was a kid." He looked at Jack with concern. "This is serious, I'm serious, Jack. You need to have your head in the game for the next six months. I'm so sorry about what happened, I really am. You were so happy, I could tell, we all could. I still can't believe it happened, to be honest. But you need to put it out of your mind." Jake took a deep breath.

"Was she your first, baby bro?"

Jack nodded.

Jake nodded back. "Yeah, we figured. Look, there's a lot to be said for having a grieving period and all that, but sometimes it helps to just get back up on that horse, you know?"

"Hold on, hold on," Jack interrupted, sitting up. "Is Kelsey supposed to be the horse in this scenario?"

"I'm just saying that you don't know because you don't have a lot of experience, but sometimes having a lot of good, anonymous sex is a good way to get over someone, that's all," Jake insisted.

This sounded counterintuitive to Jack, but he nodded his head, thinking about his brother's words.

He dropped Jake off at a friend's, where he was going to stay until New Year's, and drove to Zach's.

"Choir Boy Jack, hey," Zach said, pulling him into a bear hug. "How you holding up, man?"

Jack shrugged. "I've been better, man," he replied with a wry grin.

"Yeah, I hear ya," Zach answered, ruffling Jack's head in sympathy. "So, what's the plan? Do we need to get you moved out of the place or what?"

Jack shook his head. "No. I mean, yeah, we do, but there's no rush. Kelsey's going to be in Iowa until January fifth, so we can go after New Year's. That gives me time to find another place, too, you know?" Jack sighed, something he'd been doing a lot of lately.

"Man, this just blows," he admitted to his friend. "I never knew I could feel so bad."

"I know," Zach commiserated. "I would say let's get drunk, but you don't do that, so I guess it's video games and pizza, what do you say?"

"I say it sounds stellar," Jack responded, clapping Zach on the back.

One of Zach's roommates was in Florida for a couple of weeks, so Jack just slept there, and he had no plans until the New Year's party that the studio producing Kelsey's movie was throwing. He debated just skipping the party, because it was honestly the last thing he felt like doing, but he knew that he had to get out, and everyone kept telling him this, so he figured he might as well. The executive producer, Candy Rosenblum herself had asked that Jack attend, and he really liked her.

Jack still spent most of his days thinking about Kelsey, and wondering what she was doing. He hoped she was having a nice time with her family in Iowa. He picked his phone up at least twenty times a day to text her about something, though he resolutely stopped himself, every time.

Nights were the hardest, though, and trying to fall asleep in the strange bedroom at Zach's was terrible. He missed Kelsey desperately. He dreamed about her most nights, and woke up holding the pillow.

He was taking Marian as his date to the party, which was being held at Candy's house in Bel-Air, not far from the disastrous party Jack had attended last summer, where he'd met the two girls whose names he no longer even remembered. Marian was also invited, and she was the only other person he would know there, so it seemed stupid not to go with her.

Without Kelsey's guidance on what to wear, Jack was worried, but Candy herself assured him that, with his build, anything he wore would look outstanding.

"Wow, you look great," he said when Marian came to the door. She was wearing a black cocktail dress that showed off her swimmer's legs and good shoulders, with lots of sparkles. Her hair was up in a chignon, with more sparkles on a matching black headband.

"Thanks, Jack," she replied, pleased.

They pulled up at the party, and Jack reflected that he had changed in the last year. Before he'd met Kelsey, he wouldn't have dreamed of attending a party like this, it would have terrified him. Now, though, he mingled with Hollywood executives, actors and musicians with Marian Lowell on his arm, smiling and making small talk.

"Candy, there you are," he called when he finally saw her.

"Jack!" the older woman cried, gladness written on her face. "And Marian, welcome, welcome. Why don't you have a drink yet? Not you, you freak, I remember, but Marian, let's get you some champagne." And she led the two of them to the bar, where Marian was set up with champagne, Jack with seltzer.

"So, everything going okay with the shoot?" Candy asked.

"I haven't been on the set in a while," Jack replied. "I honestly don't know if they're going to need me anymore."

"I think there's a little more when they're in Rio, isn't there?" Candy responded. "Or maybe that's you, Marian. I don't know, I might be just be confused." She turned back to Jack. "I still want to talk to you about private lessons for my son Seth in the spring, okay?" At Jack's nod, she continued. "If I don't see you, I'll text you, or get a message to you through Kelsey or whatever."

"Yeah, about that?" Jack began. "You might not have heard, but Kelsey and I broke up." At her look, he quickly went on, "Don't worry, it was amicable, it won't affect anything, but it might be better to just contact me directly."

Candy nodded. "Well fuck. That does explain a few things, though." At Jack and Marian's looks, she explained. "My stepson's here tonight, and she seemed a little chummy with him, you know? And the fact that you came separately, with her," and she gestured at Marian.

"Who are we talking about?" Jack asked.

"Kelsey," Candy replied. "Oh shit, did you not know she was here?" She looked back and forth between Jack and Marian's faces. "She's here, you guys, with her cute model translator friend, Kiki Kakutani?" Candy nodded. "I'm so sorry, Jack, I would've told you sooner if I'd known all this."

Jack felt slightly dizzy, and he was grateful for Marian's grasp on his arm. Kelsey was here? She was supposed to be in the wilds of Iowa, eating turkey and throwing snowballs with her family.

"Jack?" Marian was speaking to him. "Maybe we should go? Do you want to leave?"

He looked away from Candy's concerned gaze, focusing on Marian's worried blue eyes.

He shook his head. "No. I'm fine. I told you. We're still friends. Everything's fine." He nodded at Candy. "No worries, honest."

"Okay," she said, patting his arm. Someone called to her and she left, giving him a reassuring wink as she did.

"Are you sure?" Marian asked, giving his arm a little shake.

Jack nodded, sipping his seltzer. "Who's Candy's stepson?"

"Um, if he's the one I'm thinking of, it must be Phoenix McTaggart."

Jack looked at her in disbelief. "What? You're messing with me. That can't be a real name."

Marian smiled at him. "You've never heard of Phoenix McTaggart?" At Jack's head shake, she went on. "I guess that makes sense. He's kind of a social media phenomenon. He comes from money, obviously, his father is Candy's husband, Phil McTaggart. She's his second wife. I think he's actually River Phoenix's godson. He was born right before River Phoenix died or something. So he grew up in Hollywood, dabbled in drugs and stuff, did a little acting, went to UCLA for a couple of years but dropped out, modeled, paints, surfs, supports a lot of green causes, you know, save the earth, eat vegan, water for Africa and all that? He's written a couple of really interesting books, too, is supposed to be super smart. He must be about our age?"

"Sounds a lot like River Phoenix," Jack said. "Also sounds like you have a bit of a crush?"

"Who wouldn't?" Marian responded. "He's gorgeous, in that sort of golden boy, lost soul kind of way."

Inwardly, Jack sighed. His Kelsey was "getting chummy" with this guy? Already? Barely one week after she'd broken up with him?

Marian saw his look. "Jack, I'm sorry. You sure you don't want to just go? You don't have to stay with me, you can just drop me off at home and go back to Zach's, I really don't mind. I hate to see you so unhappy, you know?"

"No, I'm sure," Jack said. "I'm fine. We're here, let's have a good time. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you, for bringing you down with all this garbage every time we're together, in fact."

Just then, Jack saw Kiki, vivacious in a red dress, laughing at something, curly hair bouncing. she caught his eye also, and came over, drink in hand, leaning in for a one-armed hug and kiss.

"And you must be Marian," Kiki said with a smile.

"Yes, nice to meet you," Marian responded. "Jack, talk to you later," she said, moving away so they could talk in privacy.

"It's really good to see you," Jack said, feeling surprise at how emotional he was.

Kiki, too, could hear the thickness in his voice, and leaned in to hug him again.

"Aw, poor Jack," she said, patting his back as she released him. "This has been tough for you too, hasn't it?"

Jack nodded, feeling like an idiot, but unable to help himself.

"How is she?" Jack asked.

Kiki regarded Jack. "You know I can't really talk to you about her," she admonished. "She's my best friend." She stroked Jack's cheek, a gesture of sympathy. "Let's just say she's determined to move past it, and leave it at that, okay?" She took a swallow of her drink. "And that's what you should do, too."

Jack nodded, feeling a weight settle on his stomach. He was getting the message, loud and clear, from everyone. At that moment, he finally saw Kelsey herself, over the top of Kiki's curly head, laughing and talking to a tall, thin young man with dark blond hair that fell to well past his shoulders. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a pink shirt. He did have a look about him of River Phoenix, before he was haunted by drugs and alcohol, plagued by the demons that would eventually take his life.

He was leaning attentively toward the woman Jack loved, blinking as he listened to whatever it was she was saying. She was wearing a bright yellow dress that contrasted beautifully with her dark hair, and had a hand on his arm as she spoke to him.

She finished speaking, and the man leaned his head back, showing a perfectly formed jaw, laughing a nice, relaxed laugh with her. They turned, and he placed an arm casually on her back to guide her, touching the perfect, smooth skin that Jack loved.

Kelsey saw Jack and Kiki as she turned, and stopped briefly, giving her former boyfriend a small smile before turning away. Jack felt his heart drop to a lower place in his chest as she walked out of the room in the grasp of another man.

Kiki watched Jack's face during this little exchange, and gave him another look of sympathy, along with a kiss on the cheek before she went to find Kelsey.

"Seriously, let's go, okay?" Marian spoke in Jack's ear, surprising him. "I don't know anyone here, and you're obviously miserable, so come on. Drop me at home and buy yourself some ice cream, or whatever it is guys do when they want to binge, hm?"

Jack looked at her.

"No." He shook his head for emphasis. "It's nearly midnight. This is a perfect time and way for me to lay all this crap to rest, I think. To new beginnings and all that, you know?"

Marian looked at him in surprise. "Look, Jack, I told you how I feel about you, and I meant it, but I don't want to be your consolation prize, okay? I won't die if nothing happens between us--" She started to move away, but Jack stopped her.

"Please don't do that," He spoke so softly she had to lean in to hear him. "Like you said to me once, I'm not saying I want to have babies and pick out curtains or anything, but I can't keep doing this. Maybe everyone's right, maybe all this happened for a reason." He spoke with emphasis.

"Are you okay with just going slow, going very slow and casual, with mainly being friends, just to see if anything develops? Are you okay with the very real possibility that nothing might happen at the end of all of it?" he asked, looking into her eyes.

She blinked at him, thinking, then nodded, slowly.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jack could see a splash of bright yellow, and a tall figure in pink. And around them, waiters were passing around champagne as everyone began counting down to midnight.

Jack took a deep breath, and grasped Marian's hand with the one that wasn't holding the drink. And he couldn't help but look over for one quick glance at Kelsey, who was in Phoenix's arms, holding a glass of champagne.

So this was really happening, then.

"THREE, TWO, ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Someone pulled the cords that were holding the balloons and streamers up along the ceiling, and the room was engulfed in glitter and other colorful, falling things as everyone cheered, toasted, drank, and kissed each other.

"Happy new year, Jack," Marian called, smiling as they toasted and drank.

"Happy new year," Jack responded, smiling back at her.

He leaned in and kissed her, a nice, soft, kiss, nothing crazy, just warm and friendly. It felt comfortable, and not as strange as he thought it would.