"You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of our friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through like you do
And I was made for you"

The Story by Brandi Carlile

With my feet propped up on the coffee table, my hand dug into the bag of chips, grabbing a handful to shove into my mouth. Chip crumbs littered the front of my shirt, but I no longer felt like I could feel anything, much less care about looking like a lazy slob.

Jimin had left for work an hour ago, leaving my mind spinning and desperate for the background noise of the shitty rom-com on the television.

After my nightmare, I apologized profusely to Jimin, who only smiled and gave me a hug, telling me how much he loves me.

I sighed as I finished up the first movie, scrolling through to find a second, not even caring that the reviews were not high on the next one. I wasn't even fully watching anyways.

A few minutes into movie number two, I hear the front door open, making me scrunch my eyebrows at why Jimin was back already, but knowing he would merely change clothes and join me for the shitty movie, I paid no attention.

"Jungkook, you look beautiful but I think I need to intervene," A voice spoke a moment later, making me jump at the deep tone.

"T-Taehyung!" I gasped, immediately feeling the urge to wipe the crumbs off my face and shirt, filled with instant regret I made the choice to not shower.

"Hi Jungkook," He said, sitting down on the couch next to me. He reached over and grabbed a chip out of the bag and plopping it into his mouth. The crunch echoed throughout the quiet space.

I shook my head slightly, almost like I was trying to wake up. "What are you doing here? H-How did you get in?"

The beautiful male sighed. "Jimin texted. He told me where the spare key resides and suggested I come to see you."

I couldn't help but scoff, making a note to call Jimin out later. "Of course it was Jimin."

Taehyung looked up at me, eyes filled with concern. "Jungkook, he's worried about you. He wants to help."

"Well the fact that he sends you here to try to help just shows the ignorance."

"What do you mean?" Taehyung asked, head tilting slightly to the side.

I felt myself beginning to crack, my throat feeling on the verge of closing as I held back the tears threatening to fall. My hands shook as I reached forward to put the bag of chips on the coffee table.

I had hoped I had controlled it enough to hide it, but that was ruined when Taehyung's eyes widened. He grabbed my hands in his, causing me to look up at him.

"Jungkookie, I only want to help you. There is no ulterior motive here, I promise. Tell me what you feel comfortable telling me so I know how to help you feel better."

His words surrounded me like a comforting hug. The tears flowed more freely as I nodded, trying to gather up the words to say.

"I-I-I-I'm scared."

He didn't say anything, only nodding, giving me the space to continue as I was ready.

I took in a shaky breath, exhaling slowly to slow down the tears. "I want to keep dating you." I said, mildly impressed I got the words out with stuttering.

A small smile formed on Taehyung's lips as he tilted his head to the side. He remained silent until I finished.

"I want to keep dating you, but am s-scared of... him. I-I keep having nightmares of him finding out and it never ends well, but I also want to b-be f-f-free." My voice cracked as I finished my sentence, a sob wrecking through my body as the words came out of my mouth.

Taehyung wasted no time in bringing me into his chest, wrapping his arms around my shaking frame. He planted a few kisses on my head as he squeezed, somehow knowing the perfect amount of pressure my body needed to help regulate.

"Shh... It will be okay, Kookie, I've got you."

I nodded, clutching on to the front of his shirt like my life depended on it. I inhaled his musky scent to ground me, finally beginning to feel myself settling.

"Man... I should be a doctor or something if a hug from me is all it takes to help someone feel better," Taehyung joked, a small chuckle erupting from his chest.

I leaned back, laughing, which was quickly followed with a sniffle. I wiped the front of his shirt, the wrinkles only coming out slightly.

"I-I'm sorry for wrinkling your shirt."

Taehyung pressed a gentle hand to my cheek, giving a small smile. "If it helped you to feel better, then it was worth it."

My heart fluttered in my chest, The Taehyung Effect, as I've called it, taking fully over me.

"Taehyung? I really wish there didn't have to be a Disgraced Child's Club." I admitted, my fingers fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

He nodded. "I agree, Jungkook. I think it's sad that we can't just be accepted for who we are. What happened to our parents wanting us to just be happy? So be it if dick is what makes me happy."

I thought of his words, processing them as I hummed quietly.

Taehyung was quiet for a minute before he spoke. "May I ask a personal question?"

I shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

He bit his lip before asking. "Is your... mom still in the picture? Or just your dad?"

I felt a pang in my heart, my head dropping so I looked at my lap. "She, uh, died two years ago. Cancer. My dad blamed me for a while, saying she got cancer from living in the same house as me, a gay person. He hasn't mentioned that in a while though, choosing other routes and methods instead."

Taehyung didn't interrupt, he continued to listen as I shared what it has been like sometimes with my dad.

"H-He used to try spewing The Bible at me to see if knowing that what I felt was a sin would help, but I already knew it was a sin. I tried to stop, I tried so hard, but I can't help what I feel, dammit!" I shouted at the end, feeling overwhelmed but also free from releasing my inner thoughts.

My scream bounced off the walls for several seconds, leaving minimal space for more sound from Taehyung.

When the reverb finally stopped, I panted, looking up to meet eyes with Taehyung.

"Well, what is your heart telling you to do, Jungkook?"

"My heart says one thing but my brain says anoth-"

"No. What is only your heart telling you?" He demanded, looking down at me through his lashes.

I sighed, squeezing my eyes tight. I knew what my heart wanted, but it was almost impossible to shut my brain down long enough for my heart to get what it desires.

I decided to go for it, hoping that my brain would leave me alone for the time being.

"I-" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "What my heart wants is for you to kiss me."

"And are you okay with that?" He questioned, obviously trying to hold back the smile threatening to spread across his lips.

I paused for a minute before nodding. "Yes. Yes, I want you to kiss me."

Taehyung fully smiled this time before he placed a large hand on my cheek. He leaned forward, our lips close enough to barely touch. His breath fanned my lips, making them yearn for his.

I gasped as he finally pushed his lips on mine with more pressure. My hands instantly wrapped around his neck, my brain and heart finally agreeing on one simple fact:

I knew I wanted to kiss Kim Taehyung for the rest of my life.

•••••

*waves shyly* hi