WELCOME TO THE MATURE VERSION OF CHAPTER 9 OF SHADOWED HEARTS!

And here's me stating the obvious:

WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT +17, FOR MATURE READERS ONLY PLEASE!

PLEASE DO VOTE ON THE CLEAN VERSION OF THIS CHAPTER ON SHADOWED HEARTS. IT WOULD REALLY HELP ME OUT A LOT!  

DO NOT COPY MY WORK.

This chapter is unedited so please excuse the grammatical errors. Enjoy!

____

Suzzanah's POV

Heart!

Suzzanah...

Luna...!

Queen!

Anna...

Luna...

Oh Queen...

Please...

Anna!!

Heart...!

As I found myself weightlessly floating through the abyss of my unconsciousness once again, I could hear several voices calling out to me, worrying about me, begging me to wake up. There were all sorts of cries- some soft, some loud, some worried, some calm, some familiar and some unknown.

But all sincere.

My people...

And although I knew that they were extremely concerned about me, I somehow couldn't feel that concern within me, the way I usually could.

All I could feel was exhaustion.

"They're waiting for you"

The voice that spoke up was familiar and even though I hadn't expected the company, I welcomed it regardless. I kept my eyes closed my mind having grown accustomed to the untimely and unanticipated appearance of the person who was now probably floating right next to me.

She placed her hand on the top of my head, her touch so gentle and warm that had I not known better, I would have never believed that this person next to me was no longer alive.

My eyelids flickered but didn't open, my lips parting slightly as I breathed out, "Emily..."

I felt her stroke my hair, "Don't you want to wake up?" she asked me softly.

I inhaled deeply, feeling too tired to even open my eyes and look at her, "I do but...I feel...so tired...", I replied, barely able to get the words out of my mouth.

"Hmm, I can understand. It's to be expected seeing as you so vehemently rejected all that power that came to you", she said, "And to top it off, you even gave away additional measures of life force. Your existence, at present, is quite bleak"

"That doesn't sound good", I said, feeling my brows knit together in a frown.

"It isn't", she told me frankly, "But it'll be okay"

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah. Your soul will take some time to recover from what you went through today...but you'll be okay soon", she replied before cupping the side of my face, "You did good, Suzzanah", she told me lovingly, "I'm proud of you. We all are"

"We?" I asked her, turning my head slightly to the side from where I could hear her voice.

"That's right", she replied tenderly, "We're proud of you. So be proud of yourself too, and rest assured. After that silver energy returned to where it had come from, things went back to normal. Nothing bad happened"

"Where did it come from?" I asked her.

"Where do you think?" she asked.

"I don't know..." I replied, "But I have a feeling that it was from something on the other side of the wall...Someone."

"Oh?" she said, but didn't add anything to my presumption.

"What was that energy?" I asked her.

"You don't know?"

"No...?"

"Well, I guess you'll have to find out then, won't you?"

I sighed heavily and lightly shook my head in defeat, "You really are Alpha Penson's daughter", I said making her chuckle, the sound warm and beautiful.

"Is there anything at all that you will tell me?" I asked her.

She was silent for a minute before replying, "Only this. The next time you nap, try to get a nice long one"

I frowned, "Huh?"

"Because...", she continued, "even though I won't tell you anything, your dreams will. They will tell you far more than I can"

I squirmed around, wanting to see her face, but I no matter how hard I tried, my eyelids wouldn't budge.

"But unfortunately I can't promise you that they will be sweet dreams", she told me softly, "All I can promise you is that they will lead you to the truth"

The truth?

"I-"

"So for now, wake up, and go see your loved ones" she told me, "Let your heart be at peace once more. And then...sleep. Sleep lots. And may your dreams...tell you stories no one else can"

She lifted her hand off my head and I could feel her presence begin to drift away.

I immediately extended my hand towards her receding aura, not wanting her to leave.

"Wait!" I cried out after her, struggling to open my eyes, "Please wait-!"

Wake up Suzzanah, her voice sounded distantly in my mind, Wake up now...and please...

Be strong!

And my eyes shot open.

Bright light tore through my pupils, momentarily blinding me and burning my retinas. I immediately turned my face away, squeezing my eyes shut and burying it into the soft surface underneath my head. The smell of freshly washed linen and new furniture flooded my senses and I took deep breaths trying to calm my wildly beating heart.

A dream.

Yet another dream.

A dream that I was already starting to forget.

"She's awake!"

An unfamiliar voice fell on my eardrums making me turn towards its source, squinting in the bright light.

Who was that?

It was then that I noticed that there were two pairs of hands resting over both my right and left arms. They felt rather warm and foreign.

"HEART!"

My spirit instantly leapt at the sound of his voice, immense relief and longing flowing into my numb veins.

Zuerien.

"Draw the curtains!" I heard him say before the hands on my arms withdrew and the mattress dip beside me.

I immediately turned my head towards him, desperate to see him with my own eyes and ensure that he was okay. The bright light in the room dimmed once the blinds were drawn, making it a little easier for me to open my eyes.

The minute I did, a hazy image of my mate's concerned face greeted my tired eyes. He was leaning over me, one hand resting by my side supporting his weight while he brought he other up to cup my cheek.

His hand felt warm.

Familiar.

"Suzzanah!" he breathed out worriedly as he looked into my eyes with his troubled brown ones.

I swallowed, my throat feeling bone dry as I stared up at him, his face blurring, clearing and blurring again before my eyes.

"Heart, are you okay?"

His voice was gentle, yet immense concern painted his features and it pained me to see him so distressed. Even though he was Alpha Supreme, Alpha King and Alpha of Power, I had seen this very same look of fear and vulnerability so many times on his face already.

A pang of guilt struck me hard. It seemed that I did this to him a lot.

Zuerien...

As my vision began to clear, I immediately noticed that he no longer had any injuries on his face anymore. My eyes then hurriedly skimmed his frame. He wore jeans and no shirt, and I could see several cuts and bruises which looked like they were in the process of healing.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, it did register that given his superhuman healing, all his injuries should have disappeared by now, but I was still relieved to see that he looked better than before.

I opened my mouth to speak but still couldn't find my voice. Raising one arm slowly, I placed it over his hand which was pressed against my cheek. And he didn't miss how my hand trembled as I moved it.

"Heart?" Zuerien repeated and I nodded weakly.

I'm okay, I found myself telling him through mindlink, I'm okay

I could tell by the look on his face that my response didn't help reassure him in the slightest, on the contrary, it seemed to have heightened his dread. But somehow, I couldn't feel his worry coursing through me like I usually could.

Are you okay? I asked him, anxious to know and he nodded.

"Yeah"

Honest? I asked and he didn't reply, his eyes growing more and more concerned with every passing second.

He briefly looked away from me, up at something on the other side of my bed. A hand came to rest on top of my head from and it was only then that I noticed that there had been someone else standing beside me all this time.

"Suzzanah?"

I slowly turned my head and looked up at the person whose hand now rested over my head.

Alpha Penson.

He was gazing down at me with the same calm and wise eyes that seldom faltered, yet today I could see slight apprehension swirling within their dark depths as he scanned my features.

"Dear one? Can you hear me?" he asked, leaning in slightly.

I attempted a nod, by hardly managed to lower my head, my lips parting infinitesimally but no words coming out.

Worry flashed on his face momentarily, "Are you finding it hard to speak, dear one?" he asked gently and I blinked, barely able to keep my eyes open.

I feel...tired, I told him.

He nodded, "That is understandable", he said before both him and Zuerien looked at each other.

I blinked, looking around slowly. I was in a room that looked vaguely familiar. There were two unfamiliar people standing by the door- one male and one female- dressed casually and yet looking somewhat distinguished.

Their faces were blank but I could see curiosity and slight awe in their eyes as they stared back at me. They must have been the two people whose hands had been over my arms when I woke up.

Alpha Penson signalled to them and they promptly left the room before I could ask who they were and why they had been sitting beside me earlier.

Once they had left, I let my eyes wander once more. It took me a few seconds to realize that this was the hotel room we had booked in the Ashford Hotel Enterprises.

How had we gotten back? And when?

When I looked back at Zuerien and Alpha Penson, I could tell by their eyes that they were mindlinking, and seeing as they didn't include me in it, I was quite certain that it was probably something that would worry me, if I knew.

Wearily, I lowered my gaze to look at Zuerien hand which still rested against my cheek. And the more I thought about it, the more the fact became glaringly obvious to me.

Is there something wrong with me? I asked and they both immediately snapped out of their mindlink and tuned into mine.

"No, heart. Nothing's wrong", Zuerien told me quickly.

Liar, I breathed out.

"Suzzanah-"

I can't feel you

Zuerien recoiled slightly, face turning thunderstruck for a split second before he schooled his features, "What do you mean, heart?" he asked gently.

I mean I can't feel your emotions like I usually can, I told him, my fingers grazing his palm, I can...hardly even feel your touch

I leaned into hand, and closed my eyes, feeling an ache develop in my chest.

The tingling I feel whenever you touch me...I whispered, Its barely even there...

Zuerien immediately slipped an arm underneath me and pulled me up into his arms, hugging me close. I instantly felt some strength return to my body, enough for me to no longer feel as dizzy and fatigued as earlier.

Zuerien kissed my forehead before nuzzling his cheek against my head, "There's nothing wrong, sweetheart. You're tired", he told me comfortingly, "You've been through a lot. Once you get enough rest you'll be...perfectly alright"

I didn't miss how he looked to Alpha Penson before he completed his sentence, almost as if for confirmation.

Alpha Penson nodded, "He's right Suzzanah", he said, "What you need now is a really long and undisturbed rest for you to be able to recover completely- both physically and mentally- from everything you went through earlier today"

Today...

So not much time had passed after all.

What happened? I asked, closing my eyes, feeling too exhausted to even keep them open. They didn't immediately reply and it gave me time to recall everything that had happened before I had lost consciousness.

The Walls.

The Magic.

The Pain.

The Power.

The Mindlink.

And...

RINO!

In a flash, I pushed away from Zuerien, hurriedly attempting to sit up as panic struck me the minute I remembered what had transpired. But as soon as I did, the world around me spun like a whirlwind and I was immediately lifted back onto my mate's lap and encased in his arms.

"Suzzanah!"

"Rino!" I choked out before going into a coughing fit.

"Easy, heart!" Zuerien said, patting my back as I recovered before burying my face in his chest, breathing deeply while Alpha Penson quickly poured me a drink of water.

"R-Rino!" I gasped out worriedly, my voice raspy and dry, "How- wh-where?! Rino, he's-"

"Rino's okay, Heart", Zuerien cut me off gently, "He's in the other room, sleeping"

I looked up into Zuerien's eyes, trying to keep my head from spinning, "Really? Is he really okay?"

Zuerien nodded, "He's fine", he told me, "He used up a lot of energy trying to get through those walls and is physically and mentally exhausted, much like yourself. But he's alright now"

He looked at Alpha Penson, "Turns out he only decided to put off his plan because Suzzanah mindlinked him telling him to come back"

"He told you?" I asked and Zuerien nodded, "That's the only thing he told me, apart from apologizing again and again to me and god knows how many others before finally passing out", he replied before looking back up at Alpha Penson, "But I still don't understand why he was so desperate to get across. He refused to tell me till the very end"

"He was trying to get to his Luna"

Both Zuerien and Alpha Penson's eyes went wide as their heads whipped towards me, "WHAT?!"

I nodded weakly, "He told me when we mindlinked", I said quietly, "He felt his Luna's presence from the other side of the wall"

"From the shadow side..." Alpha Penson breathed out, realization hitting him immediately.

Zuerien's brow furrowed, "But that means-"

"Karina..." I breathed out, feeling my heart constrict at the sound of her name, "It was most probably Karina's presence he felt. But I have no idea what she was doing in the woods on the Shadow side and wandering so close to the border"

Apprehension began to climb back up my nerves once more, "I'm really worried Zuerien", I whispered to him, unable to speak out loud, "Karina, what if she-"

"Shh, don't worry heart. Karina will be fine", he told me, "Karina is human. Its highly unlikely that she'd have been able to get close enough to the norther border for the walls on their side to have caused her any damage"

"But she isn't just any human. She is the Luna of Hearts!" I exclaimed.

"Perhaps", Alpha Penson said, "But it is yet to be proved completely"

"But John, it has already been proved that Megan is Intercession, so that only leaves the Heart", Zuerien stated, "Karina couldn't be any other lost Luna but the Heart"

"Provided Karina-", Alpha Penson stopped midway, shaking his head, choosing not to say what was on his mind.

"Provided Karina-?" Both I and Zuerien prodded together.

"Well...I was going to say Alpha, that be that as it may, we still can't be sure that Karina is Rino's Luna", Alpha Penson stated, "Because if she is then how could it have been possible for Rino to have sensed his Luna's presence multiple times while we were still in the US, when he hadn't even met Karina?"

"What about the other theory, that Rino may be connected to more than one Luna?" Zuerien asked, "As of now, that seems to still stand"

Alpha Penson brow furrowed but he hummed in acknowledgement, "Yes, it does. And even though the fact that Rino felt his Luna's presence from the Shadow Side and it points about a 90% towards Karina, we can't jump to conclusions. We will only be certain of the fact once Karina has been retrieved"

He looked back at me, "But even if she is the Heart, we don't know if her powers have surfaced yet, and if they haven't then she'd still be largely classified as human, which would make her unable to cross the walls"

"But I'm human too, and I still managed to get through", I stated making Zuerien and Alpha Penson exchange looks.

"You Suzzanah, are a special human", Alpha Penson told me, sitting down on my other side, "From the very beginning you've harbored an uncanny ability to cross over our supernatural shields. You've consistently gotten through every maze and barrier you came across without even realizing it, something that no other human has ever been able to do. And that is precisely what led me to believe that you would certainly make it across the first and second walls"

"But Alpha, Karina isn't exactly like regular humans either", I argued tensely, "She's hasn't been for a long time! Remember I told you about her shaking things and making them better since she was a little girl? And there was also this one time while we were mindlinking when she told me that she thinks that she may not be human because she...she keeps doing strange things or something like that, I don't remember exactly!" I told them.

They exchanged doubtful glances, "Even so, the chances of her having gotten through to the final wall are extremely bleak", Alpha Penson said, "The most likely explanation would be that she was in the woods on the Shadow side a considerable distance away but Rino still managed to sense her presence and freaked out, wanting to reach her"

"We'll find out more from Rino once he wakes up", Zuerien said, "So for the time being don't worry about Karina. For one reason or another, she is important to those Shadowers as well which is why they are keeping her close at all times. They won't risk loosing her. I'm sure that she's alright"

I nodded, feeling a little reassured, "And what about Rino? His injuries?" I asked, feeling a little breathless from all my questioning earlier.

"We had healers called in with the help of a few Elite members of the League of Magic", Alpha Penson replied, leaning in and pressing the glass of water to my lips which I eagerly devoured, "The Alpha King may have told you that I went to meet them"

I remembered Zuerien having mentioned that and nodded before Zuerien wiped the extra moisture from my lips making me smile at him.

"Well they came by and healed most of his injuries", Alpha Penson continued, "Cole, very surprisingly and fortunately, had absolutely no injuries at all. And well, you were in the process of having yours healed when you woke up"

So those two people who had been in the room earlier had been healers?

I frowned, "What about Zuerien's injuries?" I asked, gently splaying my fingers against his ribs where he sported a large yellow-green bruise, "Why haven't they healed yet?"

"I'm fine", Zuerien immediately stated.

"Well that's because the Alpha very fiercely refused the services of the healers, saying they should all be assigned to either Rino or you, since you both needed their help the most", Alpha Penson replied.

"I told you, I'm fine!"

"Zuerien!"

He immediately looked down at me and I stared up indignantly at him, "Please go have the healers see to your injuries at once!" I told him.

"Heart, I'm telling you I don't-"

"I won't hear any of it", I cut him off, "Either you see the healers too, or I won't let them come near me either"

"Heart!"

I looked away from him, implying that I was done talking about this and there was no room for argument any further on this topic. Alpha Penson chuckled.

"Our Queen is quite impressive wouldn't you say, Alpha?" he said, "Even after having half the life sucked out of her, she still has enough fire to rebuke the King"

Zuerien immediately glared at the Alpha making him cough and clear his throat, the amusement never leaving his eyes.

"But shouldn't his injuries have healed spontaneously by now?" I asked worriedly, hurriedly trying to blink away my dizziness and sitting up straighter, "How long has it been since we got back from the woods"

"About 2 hours", Alpha Penson replied.

"Then why haven't you healed yet?!" I cried out, feeling panic seep into me, "Don't you heal like at the speed of light?!"

"Relax, heart. I'm really okay", Zuerien replied.

"The magic of the three walls is extremely powerful and potent, Suzzanah", Alpha Penson told me, "It remains in your body long after it has been fired at you and continues to cause internal damage unless it is removed by a fellow magic wielder"

"The three border walls were the result of the hardwork of not one but several extremely skilled and strong magic wielders, along with powers of the Alpha of Mazes", Zuerien added, making me realize why the magic I had sensed earlier hadn't felt like Marco's powers, "So it is to be expected that the damage caused by the walls will be quite severe too. That's what they're meant to do"

"And that's why we had the healers brought in", Alpha Penson completed.

"Then why didn't you see the healers?!" I cried out to Zuerien in exasperation.

"I'm telling you I'm fine-"

"Like heck you are!" I cut him off, "I know you mister I'll-hide-all-the-pain-under-my-concrete-pectorals. Don't you dare lie to me!"

Zuerien was both absolutely shocked and thoroughly amused by my outburst, rendering him speechless for a second.

"KAI!"

Aye! Kai responded immediately.

"At least you should have convinced him to go see the healer!" I said.

I did, but the human was being stubborn

Zuerien looked outraged, "Why you dirty lying piece of-"

Language, human! We're in the presence of a lady

"You were just as opposed to having the healers see to our injuries as I was!" Zuerien cried out.

I don't remember ever having expressed such emotions

A vein popped out on Zuerien's forehead, "Why you conniving son of a-"

"Witch! Yes you are", I cut him off, "And a wolf too. And you're both the same person so can you stop fighting with yourselves please"

They both quieted down immediately and I sighed weakly, "I don't understand. Why were you opposed to getting the healers' aid?"

He didn't reply.

"Probably because his injuries are many and it would take time for them to get through all of them", Alpha Penson said, "And for healers to work on your wounds, you need to stay in one place to allow them to concentrate. And that would mean that he wouldn't be able to keep moving from room to room to check on both you and Rino"

My heart immediately welled with warmth and affection and Zuerien tsked.

"It isn't all that mushy", he said passing off Alpha Penson's comment, "I just don't like having to sit in one place with several unfamiliar people hovering around me and putting their hands all over my body for long periods"

I smiled and Alpha Penson laughed, "Whatever you say, Alpha"

"Alpha Penson, can you please call in the healers", I said softly, "Not just for me but also for Zuerien"

Zuerien immediately went to object but I gave him a sharp look telling him there was no way he was getting out of this.

Alpha Penson smiled at me tenderly, "Oh don't worry dear one. I honestly don't think the Alpha needs healers anymore"

"What?!"

Thank heavens!

"KAI!" I cried out.

I mean...oh! You think so, do you John?

Both I and Zuerien exchanged blank looks at his horrible attempt at feigning innocence.

"Its actually a little funny how sick of yourself you look, Zuerien", I told him.

"Tell me about it", he replied, rubbing his forehead.

"But why do you think he doesn't need healers anymore?" I asked Alpha Penson.

"Well because he really doesn't", he stated, "See for yourself"

Both of us immediately looked down at his torso and I gasped at how it had been completely cleared of all cuts, bruises, abrasions and the like. I rubbed my fingers down his side where there had just a few seconds ago been an enormous bruise.

"Its gone!" I breathed out, eyes widening slightly, "They're all gone. You finally healed yourself!"

I smiled relieved, looking up at Zuerien's face to find him looking down at himself skeptically. He then looked at Alpha Penson questioningly.

"I guess I did?" he replied to my question doubtfully and Alpha Penson smiled shrugging.

"W-why? Is something wrong?" I asked confused.

"Its nothing, Suzzanah", Alpha Penson said, "Why don't you lie back down and we'll have the healers come in and finish the work they had started"

As if on queue, I yawned, suddenly feeling extremely exhausted all over again. The fatigue returned with a vengeance and I found myself slumping against my mate's frame listlessly.

"Suzzanah?" Zuerien said leaning in, immediately sounding worried again.

"I'm fine", I said through another yawn, "Sleepy"

Zuerien shifted before settling into bed with me in his arms, "Sleep, heart", he said as I settled comfortably against his chest, feeling my eyelids grow heavy within seconds.

"I'll give you both some time alone and go check on Rino", Alpha Penson said.

My eyes shot open once more, "I want to see Rino too!" I exclaimed, trying to sit up.

"Heart, not now", Zuerien said firmly, pulling me back into his chest, "You need to get your rest. And Rino needs to get his. Once you've both recovered, then you can meet up, chat and be all buddy buddy", he said, "you know, from a pronounced distance"

I gave him deadpan look before exhaling a heavy breath, feeling worn out. I knew Zuerien was right. I wouldn't achieve anything by going to see Rino now. I'd just be disturbing his respite, and once disturbed, I knew it'd be hard to get Rino to lay back down.

"Come on", Zuerien said, pulling me closer, "Close your eyes. Sleep Heart"

"NO! Please! Stay awake! LUNAA!"

A vivid memory from earlier suddenly flashed in my mind and I immediately shot up again, "Wait! Where is Cole?!"

I had been so relieved to know that he was completely uninjured that I forgot that I hadn't seen him to make sure yet.

"Cole is with Rino in the other room", Zuerien told me, "Don't worry. Cole is the only one who came out of this completely unharmed"

"But how? He took the brunt of all the attacks thrown by the wall at us earlier", I said worriedly, "Are you sure he's okay?"

"Positive", Alpha Penson replied, "The healers confirmed it themselves"

"Oh...", I breathed out relieved, "Thank God. Cole really did an incredible job out there today. And so did you", I said looking up at Zuerien.

He smiled, "Okay, now time to slee-"

"But wait!" I cried out, making Zuerien look at me in disbelief.

"Seriously, Heart?" he exclaimed exasperated.

"Zuerien, where are the others?!" I wheezed hurriedly, "Prophecy and Marco and Ashford and General Reginald!"

"Prophecy is sleeping", Zuerien and Alpha Penson replied in unison.

"And the others?"

"Marco, Ashford and General Reginald are still in the woods searching for Megan", he told me, "General Reginald was also apparently teleported somewhere close to the woods and he managed to meet up with some of the Ashford pack members and get an idea of what was going on. He met up with Marco a little earlier and Ashford joined them too, and they immediately headed to the place Ashford presumed was where you had been initially teleported to by Prophecy"

"Did they get there?" I asked hopefully.

Zuerien looked to Alpha Penson who sighed, "Yes, they did", he replied, "Or at least Ashford believes it is the place where he saw you on the tree. But unfortunately they couldn't find any trace of the little cottage you stumbled upon"

"What? But-but how? It was right there, just a little further up", I replied feeling puzzled and dazed, "Are they sure they're at the right place?"

"Quite sure", Zuerien replied, "And to back up their presumption, they picked up a slight hint of your scent there too, so it does imply that you had been to that place recently"

I blinked, trying to clear my blurring vision, "What about the tree you burnt to protect me from getting hit by the branches when I fell off it?" I asked, "That would be really hard to miss"

Both Zuerien and Alpha Penson exchanged puzzled glances.

"True but...I don't think they mentioned anything about any burnt trees around there", Alpha Penson told me, "I'll let them know just in case so maybe they can start looking elsewhere"

I nodded desperately hoping that Megan hadn't run away again. But my only reassurance was that she couldn't leave Dublin or cross over to the Shadow side thanks to the mazes Marco had set up. We would surely find her.

And hopefully it would be be before 28th of July, the day on which Prophecy had said that she had sensed one of the Lunas in Jervis Street in one of her teleportations. A Luna whom she was quite positive, was Karina.

And we weren't about to doubt her on this whatsoever. After all, Prophecy had teleported a total of 3 times to Dublin. And every single one of those times, she had either sensed or met one of the lost Lunas.

Also, in her latest teleportation, when she had teleported to Dublin a few days back, at the same time that I had been teleported to Canada in spirit, Prophecy had said that she had seen Karina with her own eyes in Dublin on 28th July.

28th of July.

The day after tomorrow.

Karina...please hang in there...

Hang in there just a little longer...

"I'll take your leave now, Alpha, dear one", Alpha Penson said, nodding at each of us.

Zuerien nodded back while I smiled at him, giving him a weak wave.

Then leaning into Zuerien's chest, I closed my eyes listening to his heart beating steadily and strongly. Somehow, that had always been a source of comfort for me, and even more so now that I could hardly even feel the mate bond which had never before failed to ignite the familiar tingles I was missing so terribly right now.

Soon I heard the door to our room open and then close quietly, signifying that Alpha Penson had left. Zuerien then gently shifted me in his arms so that I could lay more comfortably against him.

I wrapped my arms around his waist, craving the contact more than anything else. He hugged me close, bending over me and resting his chin over my head. He continued to gently stroked my hair, the warmth radiating off his body and the rich scent of wet soil engulfing me, giving me an immense sense of comfort.

While he had always been there to reassure me, all I had ever done was cause him trouble. And I knew that had I been able to feel his emotions right now, the way I usually could, he would most definitely be feeling an overwhelming sense of worry coupled with heavy guilt about not having been able to prevent my current disposition, even though it was not his fault at all.

And I knew that they'd be extremely powerful and all-consuming emotions, ones that would bring him severe heartache if someone didn't help ease his pain by sharing them.

That's what I wanted to do right now.

Share his burden.

Feel his emotions.

Reassure him.

And that's what was hurting me the most right now- that I couldn't feel the mate bond as strongly as I usually could. That I couldn't feel his emotions surging through my body. That somehow his touch was no longer sending a familiar rush of heat, passion and immense love tearing through me as it always did.

Even though I still loved him more than life itself, I couldn't feel that invisible connection our souls shared as strongly as I could before. As though the red string of fate that had bound us together for an eternity now had been stretched and strained to point that it was barely staying intact.

And I didn't know if this was simply because I was extremely drained from this morning's kerfuffle, or if something had really gone terribly wrong with me, taking away my ability to feel the way I had always been able to.

And most importantly...whether things as they were now...were going to be...permanent...

Please no...

"You're over-thinking again, aren't you?" Zuerien said softly, his deep, warm voice bringing me on the verge of tears.

I may not have been able to feel his emotions coursing through me, but I could still recognize the fathomless affection in his voice and actions. I tightened my grip around his waist, wanting nothing more than to be able to feel his being the way soulmates were supposed to.

Please...

"Suzzanah?" Zuerien said gently, raising his chin from on top of my head, probably looking down at me. I buried my face in his chest, biting my lip hard.

Sorry...

I'm so sorry...Zuerien...

"Suzzanah? Baby, is something wrong?"

I can't feel you...

I felt him try to pull away from me so that he could see my face but I held on to him tightly, my fingers digging into his bare back.

His skin felt warm and smooth against my palms, and I knew that had it been any other day, this kind of contact would have set my body on fire.

But not anymore.

Because now...I could barely even sense him there...

Last night, when he had marked me, I had felt our mate bond strengthen to a point where I had felt like had become two halves of the very same person. It had seemed like there couldn't ever be a stronger connection between two people than the one we had established in that moment.

The mark on my neck had been so tender and sensitive. And even though it hurt, I would give anything just to be able to feel that pain once again.

Because it reminded me of what we had shared.

Of what we had become.

And of how freaking much I loved this man I now held in my arms.

"Suzzanah? Suzzanah are you okay baby?"

I could tell by his voice that Zuerien was starting to get really worried, so I finally pushed myself away from him to look up at his face.

The minute our eyes met, I immediately recognized that multitude of emotions swirling in his chocolaty orbs. Those eyes of his were windows to his soul, A soul that- in the deepest and truest sense- had always belonged to me.

He cupped my cheek with his large warm hand, his wide, worried eyes scanning my no doubt hideously tired face. And even though he didn't say anything to me, I knew he could tell. I knew he could tell that our bond had weakened.

And I knew that it was killing him inside.

I'm so sorry...

"Heart, you really are okay, aren't you?" he asked me again, this time, his voice betraying his turbulent emotions.

He leaned in, "You're not in pain are you?"

I am...but its not your pain...

And for that...I'm so sorry...

I shook my head, my guilty eyes never leaving his concerned ones. He sighed and kissed to my temple long and hard before pressing his forehead against mine.

"Don't worry baby", he told me gently, "Once you get the rest your body and mind need, you'll be rejuvenated again. You'll get your strength back and you'll be hale and healthy. And everything will be...okay"

His words were strong and comforting, but I couldn't tell whether he was trying to reassure me, or himself. I knew that, between the two of us, he felt the essence of mate bond far more deeply and powerfully than I did. Being a supernatural who had been bound to the mate bond for all time, I was certain that its attenuation hit him way harder than it did me.

Zuerien, as King, had never been allowed to show weakness. For the sake of his people, he had to be strong, and brave, and powerful- always. Such was the fate of an Alpha. Such was their inheritance.

With great power came great responsibility.

And no room for fear.

And yet, in all the time that I had known Zuerien, which in reality wasn't really that long, I had already seen him looking terrified on multiple occasions.

And almost every single time, those incidents had had something to do with me.

Even now, I knew that he was afraid. He was probably frightened about the very same things that were currently gnawing at my insides. He was also extremely worried about the future and how things would turn out.

He wanted me to rest. Sleep.

Because that was the only thing which now showed some promise of helping recover what was lost.

But the uncertainty of whether or not things would go back to normal when I woke up again was terrifying to him.

And yet I knew, he would never say a word to me. Because he didn't want me to be afraid. He didn't want to make me worry.

Even though all I ever do is worry him...

Kai had suddenly gone silent. And I knew why. Because Kai was the truthful side of him. The raw and bare and unrestrained side of him. The side of him that had never hidden anything from me, that could never hide anything from me.

And if Kai were to surface, so would the tumultuous emotions he was so desperately trying to conceal from me.

But Zuerien...

My dear, dear Zuerien...

...you forget...

When he finally pulled away and smiled at me, I could identify the pain he thought he could keep from me.

That even when our bond is weak...

"Rest now, my heart", he said softly, leaning back against the headboard so that he could draw me against him and lull me to sleep.

Even when I can't feel you...

Shifting against the pillows behind him to find a comfortable position, he began to pull me in over his chest. My hands flattened against his chest and I could feel his heart beat against my palm.

I can still see you...

I resisted, separating my legs and straddling his waist, gliding my hands up to his shoulders. His gaze immediately found mine, eyes staring questioningly into my own.

I still know you...

As he began to raise himself up on his elbows, I cupped his face in my hands, lifting myself off his lap and onto my knees. I kept my gaze locked on his.

You are still mine...as I am yours...

We are still mates.

And nothing can take that away from us.

Then I slammed my lips down on his.

His initial shock was not lost on me as I felt him inhale sharply underneath me. I gently sucked on his lips, one at a time, tasting and tugging, giving them my full attention. My hands combed into his hair combing through it and drawing him closer to me.

His body reacted instantly, almost involuntarily as he first returned the kiss with equal vigor, his lips molding into mine, sucking and nipping eagerly. But just as fast as he gave in, he also began to resist, as I felt his hands clamp down against my hips and weakly try and distance them from his.

His lips turned hesitant as they moved against mine and I knew that he was torn between wanting to lose himself in the heat and passion, or distance himself for the sake of my health which he feared was not at its best.

Suzzanah...

Hi words, even via mindlink, were breathy and constrained.

Heart...we...

We need to stop...

This was the very first time I had heard him say that. And had it been any other day, any other moment and any other situation, it would have probably made me laugh at how the tables had turned.

But not today.

Today, it just made my heart well...

You need to rest baby. Your body needs to recuperate.

It made my heart well with immense love and pain. He was always thinking of me. Putting me first.

Everytime.

I'm sorry...Zuerien...Kai...

I'm so sorry for how things turned out...

But don't you worry...

I'll make it all better.

Suzzan-

His words got cut off when I abruptly deepened the kiss, coaxing his lips apart, desperately wanting to get closer, deeper. I felt his abs tighten underneath me as an involuntary groan escaped his lips.

A thrill shot through my body at the thought of bringing him pleasure, and it immediately encouraged me to go on. I bit down on his lip while gently tugging at his thick, short hair. My body slid closer to him, my pelvis pressing into his, making sudden heat surge through me.

Yes!

My face felt flushed as I kissed him harder, loving the feel of his lips against mine. One of my hands stayed playing with his hair while the other began to explore the hard, sculpted panes of his bare chest.

My hand glided over his strong neck, across his broad shoulders, over his muscular bicep which flexed deliciously against my touch.

I sunk lower, my palm sliding onto his smooth chest and chiselled pectorals. His thundering heart slammed against my hand making me smile against his lips. I continued to gently try and pry his lips apart but he resisted, albeit never once pushing me away.

I could tell by the way Zuerien's fingers kept intermittently digging into my hips, that he was trying hard to stay in control. He knew just as well as I did that if he gave in now, he wouldn't be able to stop. Because the weakening of supernatural connection between us had in no way affected our desperate need for each other.

I still craved his touch as though it was what was holding me together. I still needed his presence there with me as though it was the air that kept me alive.

And I still loved him, as though he were the embodiment of all my dearest dreams come true.

Because he was. He was all that, and so much more.

I knew he didn't want to go overboard because he thought I desperately needed rest to get better. But what I wanted him to understand was that what I needed in order to recover, was not rest or sleep.

It was him.

Only him.

Heart...please... I heard his strained voice in my head and I knew he was fast approaching breaking point. He sounded so torn as he spoke that it made my heart hurt as my love for him grew even more.

Baby, I can't, He breathed out as his lips stilled with great difficulty against mine, If I do, you...you'll-

I'll be okay, I replied, never breaking the kiss, I'll be okay, because its you

Suzzanah-

Please Zuerien, Kai, I pleaded, desperate for this, Please. I need this. I want this! I want...

...I want to feel you.

The minute I had said those words, a fierce growl rumbled loudly through Zuerien's chest and before I knew it he had pushed himself up to sitting position. My body slid down his, firmly planting onto his lap and my eyes shot open in shock as he broke the kiss.

With one hand still gripping my hip firmly, he fisted my my hair with the other before he sharply jerking my head backwards, so the my gaze met his.

And the minute I got a glimpse of his blazing obsidian orbs, I knew that his inhibitions were gone. His control had finally shattered.

And the beast was lose.

As fast as he had broken our kiss earlier, he once again crashed his lips against mine with ten times the vigor and intensity as that of earlier. His lips moved feverishly against mine, as he kissed me harder and faster than he ever had before.

I barely even had the time to blink before his large hand released my hip and cupped one buttcheek, squeezing hard before and thrusting my pelvis powerfully into his.

I gasped in shock as roaring desire and pleasure tore throat me like fiery electricity and he wasted no time in sliding his hot tongue into my mouth before I even had a chance to try and dominate.

We moaned in unison as our tongues intertwined in passion and heat. My fingers dug into his back while his pressed into my butt. His other hand promptly untangled itself from my hair before sliding down my side and cupping my breast eagerly.

A silent scream of pleasure nearly ripped out of me as he began to fondle the soft mound sensuously. I felt my nipples grow hard and press painfully into the inside of my bra, begging to be released from its vicious hold and instead be captured by something much hotter and wetter.

My cheeks burned at my own sinful thoughts, and yet I welcomed them more urgently than I had ever done before. We kissed like there was no tomorrow, our hands caressing hungrily and bodies molding into each others like wet clay.

I realized that this was a feeling I could never grow tired of. This was a man I could never love enough. Because with every smile, every word and every touch, he made me fall deeper and deeper in love with him, to a point that I felt lost in its infinity.

And the very fact that such a love existed- one that could never grow old, or cold or weak, was enough to make my eyes brim with tears of gratefulness.

Thank you God...for giving me a soulmate.

And thank you, Zuerien Kai Royale,

For being mine!

Zuerien made a strangled sound at the back of his throat before his hands slipped underneath my shirt. Their roughness and warmth as they explored my skin immediately made molten fire shoot through my veins.

I only clearly remembered his hand gliding under my bra and cupping my breast before my lips parted from his and my body turned, back hitting the mattress underneath me. A surprised breath escaped my lips as my body sunk into its softness before my mate's enormous frame covered mine, muscular arms extending on either side of me.

Our eyes met once again and I immediately saw the intense emotions swirling within his pitch black orbs sprinkled with flecks of gold. And the longer I looked at him, the more I felt my heart swell with unfathomable, immeasurable love.

Heart...!

His deep, powerful and urgent voice echoed in my mind, setting my insides ablaze. My back arched up towards him as though my body were being summoned by his call.

Meeting me halfway, he swooped down, capturing my lips with his once more. My hands slid across his broad shoulders while his hands yet again slipped underneath my displaced sweater.

I felt his elongated claws grip the soft material from inside and without any warning whatsoever, his powerful arms flung apart, tearing the sweater clean off me.

Holy-!

I cried out in shock against his lips as the cold air hit my exposed torso, and before I had even recovered from that, he ripped my jeans open. His hands worked at the speed of light, relieving me the garment in a split second till I lay sprawled breathlessly underneath him in nothing but my flimsy inners.

Ones that he had bought me.

As he broke the kiss eagerly, and leaned back to admire what he had exposed, I felt my face turn the bright crimson as I shivered in both extreme embarrassment and arousal.

When my flustered gaze found his, I saw him staring down at me wide-eyed, dark pupils blown as he took in the sight of my bare body. My pale skin was tinged with red as I squirmed underneath him- flushed and panting.

His fiery gaze roamed my body, not missing a single spot, lingering for considerably longer over my lips, neck, breasts and tightly clenched thighs. His gaze wandered over me again and again, briefly coming to rest at the side of neck.

"Kai was right", he growled out darkly, "You look fucking perfect in these", he said, tracing the strap of my lace bra.

A whimper escaped my lips as love and abashment and desire and heat flowed intermingled through my body. And with every second that I spent exposed to his ravenous gaze, more heat and moisture pooled between my legs, making his nostrils flare.

His eyes instantly shot down to my hips and an alarmed cry escaped my lips as I was appalled at him having scented my need. My body reacted in reflex, hand flying to try and cover myself from his gaze.

But immediately his caught my wrists and pinned them above my head with one hand, leaning closer into me.

Mine...

His deep, powerful and possessive claim resounded throughout my body, charging every cell with overwhelming desire and insatiable thirst for him. My eyes squeezed shut of their own accord as a needy moan escaped my lips, much to my horror.

I had never even imagined that I would one day find myself in such a position. But I could only thank the heavens above that now that it was happening, it was with a man whom I trusted more than I did myself.

A man whom I loved with all my heart.

And a man whom my soul had loved from the beginning of time.

Thankfulness flooded my being, but didn't necessarily overpower the feeling of embarrassment at being so bare to the eyes of a man, making me keep my eyes squeezed shut, too shy to look at him.

And it was only when his fingers grazed the sensitive skin in the crook of my neck that my eyes shot open in shock as thundering, toe-curling tingles tore through my skin like claws tearing through flesh.

But instead of pain, there was pleasure.

So much unimaginable pleasure.

Oh my god...!

My mark felt like it was exploding, firing bouts of limitless amounts of untainted exhilaration through me. The simple action of his skin gliding against mine had me so indescribably high that it was taking me a while to recover from it.

But before I could even come all the way back from that trip to the clouds, my mate descended on me like a predator going for its prey, and when his soft wet lips latched onto the skin over my mark, I couldn't hold it in any more.

I screamed.

Shooting bolts of pure ecstasy ripped through my body, right down to my soul. I felt like there were fireworks going off on every inch of my titillated skin. My back arched off the bed, head falling back in shock as my chest met Zuerien's hard sculpted torso in the most sensual and sublime collision of all time.

His lips sucked softly yet strongly at my tingling skin, tongue darting across the flushed surface hotly. His hands glided down my the sides of my body leaving fiery trails of pleasure everywhere they skimmed. Wetness gushed out of me as he thrust his hips into mine while his teeth nipped and tugged at the skin over my mark making me feel like I would fall apart from just this.

ZUERIEEENNN!

My lips were still parted in a silent scream of pure bliss while I screamed his name to the high heavens for real via mindlink.

I screamed it over and over again.

Mine!

His possessive growl only served to arouse me even further and I found one of my hands pressing his head further into my neck. My other hand gripped his shoulder, fingers digging into his hot skin, legs involuntarily wrapping around his waist in an attempt to draw him closer to me, not able to get enough.

MINE!

Zuerien's hands found the waistband of my moist panties and the next thing I knew, I was completely bare bra-down. A cry of absolute disbelief ripped from my lips before it was replaced by a high pitched moan when he thrust his hard manhood against my wet core.

My hips gyrated of their own accord meeting his thrusts halfway, craving the friction like a drug. Zuerien groaned sexily into my neck as pleasure deeper than I had ever felt before burst through my being. I couldn't take it. It was too much!

And when I realized why it felt so overpowering now, I felt my eyes brim with tears of unbridled joy.

God...

His lips left my mark, and his mouth then, yet again, found mine and we kissed with more passion and need and desire than I could ever remember.

His hips continued to shove into mine as we danced against each other, with each other and for each other sensually. My breasts compressed into his chest, body collided with flesh and skin mashed against cloth as we played out our erotic fantasy.

I was so overjoyed that I didn't even notice that his hand had slid down to my thighs till it slipped in between my legs cupping my aching core.

And I was lost.

AAAH! ZUERIEEEN!

I cried out absolutely thunderstruck as his long fingers began to glide against my moist heat like flames against liquid fire, giving me more pleasure than I could take.

Even though he had done this to me once before, the feeling of having his fingers down against my core was still so foreign and embarrassing that I almost jerked away in horror.

But Zuerien's hands gripped my hips, not letting me move away, before his fingers returned to my throbbing needy sex.

Zuerien! Please I-

Its okay, my heart. I'm here. I'll take care of you.

Trust me.

His words evoked both a sense of incomparable love and overwhelming respect for him in my heart. And my body gave in to him immediately, thirstily, not once doubting his gentle yet strong words. He moved his fingers slowly against my pulsing nub, intermittently exploring my wet folds and spasming entrance.

AAAHHH!

I moaned through our mindlink, lips parting against his, giving him entry once more to ravage my mouth. Our tongues intertwined yet again and my fingers dug into his shoulders as his fingers began to move faster and harder against my core.

It felt so good!

I was already soaring in the seventh heaven when Zuerien parted my wet folds and tested my tight entrance. And just as my eyes shot open in shock, he slipped one finger into me, making my head fall back as I screamed out loud.

"ZUERIEEEN!"

I nearly went insane with pleasure when he began to pump his finger in and out of my wet heat, never having felt anything as intimate and gratifying as this before.

"Shit! So fucking tight!" Zuerien grit out roughly, "Dammit! You're perfect heart!"

"Aahh! AAAAHH!"

My body reacted all on its own, as though having been waiting for this moment as my hips began to move feverishly trying to take him deeper, harder.

A growl of appreciation resonated through Zuerien's chest making me look up at him to find him watching me with blazing, intense eyes. The look on his handsome face as he watched me take the pleasure he was giving me was so possessive and aroused that it was like that alone could bring me to my release.

He began to move his finger faster inside of me and his thumb returned to torture my throbbing nub once more. My body began to quake as I thrashed against the covers, not being able to take any more.

"Zuerien! I can't!"

"Take it, heart! Come all over my fingers!"

His words were enough to make my body comply immediately as I began to thrust harder against him, my core clamping down on his fingers greedily. Zuerien groaned out loud and without warning slipped yet another finger into me making me literally shoot of the bed in shock.

"AAAAHHH!"

His fingers began to ram into me while his thumb continued to roughly assault my nub. I now felt so incredibly full that it was like having sex for real. Zuerien ravaged my sex, never slowing down and never taking his eyes off me.

I was ineffably shocked by how much every part of me was loving this raw, carnal and erotic act I was indulging in. But I knew that it only felt this unbelievably good because it was with him. With the man that I loved.

With my Zuerien.

So many thousands of emotions came crashing into me in that one second that I felt like I was living the emotions of every single human being in the country!

But what relieved me beyond compare was that I knew, that those were the emotions of not many, but just two people. Two.

Emotions that were born deep inside my own being.

And the far more intense ones of my dearest, darling mate.

It worked...!

Tears filled my eyes and a cry of thankfulness escaped my lips and immediately, I felt a sudden surge of shock race through me as the unexpected reinforcement of our bond became known to Zuerien. And as fast as it came, it was also replaced by the most immeasurable amounts of gratitude that had ever coursed through my veins.

My mate's relief.

Heart...!

He bent down and buried his face in my neck, breathing deeply before kissing and sucking on the skin once more. I wrapped my arms around him hugging him tightly as I felt myself nearing my release.

He showered my skin with kisses as we relished in the feeling of being complete once again. And to celebrate that absolutely glorious feeling, I felt him speed up his pace, his fingers moving faster and faster, slamming hard into my needy core making me moan loudly as I neared climax.

His lips found mine yet again and we kissed urgently. And as I reached my ultimate high, I found myself screaming three heartfelt words again and again.

From the bottom of my heart.

And from the heart of my soul.

I love you!

Zuerien! I love you!

HEART!

His loud, exhilarated cry resounded throughout my body as I felt myself reach my roaring release. Wetness gushed out of me and my body shook as the most powerful orgasm I had ever had drowned me in its unfathomable intensity.

Shudders and tremors took over me as my core clamped down on Zuerien's fingers. We both moaned loudly into the kiss in unison, and Zuerien continued to thrust his fingers in and out of me, making the climax drag on and on and on till I literally had no breath left in my body.

And when I finally came down from my high after what felt like an eternity, I collapsed against the bed, underneath Zuerien, panting heavily, my eyes closed in absolute satisfaction.

Zuerien withdrew his fingers from inside of me and I shivered as the aftershocks of our endeavour washed over me. Even though I still felt like I was soaring in the clouds somewhere, my mind was sound enough to acknowledge the sense of accomplishment that was brimming inside of me.

But more than anything else, there was deep rooted relief and gratefulness that was now coursing through me.

It's back...

I felt Zuerien shift on top of me as I continued to take deep relieved breaths.

Thank God...

I felt Zuerien's warm hand cup the side of my face and the surge of familiar tingles that tore through me instantly made my eyes well with tears once more.

"Heart..."

I opened my eyes to find my darling mate staring down at me with the same mismatched eyes that I had grown to love beyond compare. His orbs were swirling with so much tender warmth that I felt like I was looking into the eyes of a nation.

I thought I had already seen the greatest extent of joy and adoration in his face last night when he had marked me. But now as he gazed down at me, watching me like I was the most precious creature to ever have come into existence, I realized that there probably was no end of how much affection this man could feel for me.

And how much I could love him in return.

Tears of joy and relief spilled out of my eyes and down my flushed cheeks as I smiled up at Zuerien with a heart that felt content and a soul that that felt full.

And I relished once again in the feeling of drowning in the ever-unfathomable emotions of my powerful mate.

"My Suzzanah...", he said tenderly, wiping away my tears, "Are you okay, baby?"

I nodded, exhaling a laugh and leaning into his touch, "I can feel you", I breathed out, more silver tears brimming in my eyes.

My body was immediately flooded with his relief, concern, gratefulness, love and so many other emotions which all screamed Zuerien Kai Royale. He leaned down and kissed me once again, but this time the kiss was slow and gentle, much less desperate and much more savoring.

Pulling away he kissed both my cheeks, my eyes, my nose and forehead, showering me with his love. And every time he touched me, I felt electric sparks shoot through me making me shudder in pleasure.

And I realized that not only could I feel him again now, I could also feel him far more strongly than I had before. Even more strongly than after he had marked me.

"My silly girl, what am I going to do with you?" he breathed out, the smile never leaving his face as he caressed my hair, "Here I was wondering how my shy little mate suddenly got so bold and needy while being exhausted, but now I see you all this did this for a reason"

I blushed, smiling sheepishly, "I couldn't stand not being able to feel you"

He exhaled a chuckle, pressing another soft kiss against my temple, "How did you even know this would work?" he asked gently.

"I didn't", I replied, running my fingers through his hair, "I just knew that the strongest connection I had ever felt with you was last night when you marked me and we..."

The burning in my cheeks intensified and I found myself unable to complete my sentence even though we had just shared something just as intimate only a few seconds ago, "And I just thought doing something like that again would help strengthen our bond again. And it did..."

"It sure did", he whispered to me, smiling.

Then quickly lifting himself off of me, he rolled to my side onto his back and promptly pulled me over his chest. I gasped at the sudden shift, my hands splaying against his strong hard chest as my breasts pressed into him.

My body immediately shook in desire, and I bare bit back another moan as my moist core pulsed needily even though I had just recovered from my climax. I blushed furiously, knowing that Zuerien could probably scent my need before clamping my thighs together tightly.

I had never felt so aroused in my entire life, never craved physical contact as my body was craving now. Zuerien was my first time for a lot of things, but the feeling was so new to me that I almost couldn't wrap my head around it.

Suzzanah get a grip gurl! What the heck is wrong with you?

Pulling me closer, Zuerien buried his face in the crook of my neck, peppering soft kisses over my skin. My hands gripped his shoulders and I trembled like a porcelain doll in his arms, at his mercy. Zuerien inhaled deeply, his chest rising and falling underneath me.

"I'm so relieved, heart", Zuerien whispered against my skin before pulling back just enough to be able to look at me, dark eyes gazing at me tenderly, "I'm so relieved that you're okay. God knows I was about ready to lose my mind earlier by the third wall when I felt our bond suddenly weaken"

My looked at him surprised, "You felt it?"

He nodded, pushing a few strands of stray hairs behind my ears, "Even as I was trying to get to Rino, I sensed that something was off", he told me, "For a short period, I suddenly felt like our bond had strengthened tenfold. I was almost thrown off my course wondering what was going on. But just a few seconds after that, our connection suddenly weakened, almost to a point where I felt like our bond had been severed completely"

My eyes widened in shock at everything he was telling me as my mind began to replay the events from earlier this morning.

"I nearly lost it right then", he continued, his large warm hand cupping my cheek gently, "And I turned around just in time to see Cole rushing away with you in his arms. I swear my heart stopped for a second and I almost abandoned our mission and came running back to you"

I smiled lovingly at him, "Ah but I know you wouldn't leave Rino there alone. You love him too much for that"

His eyes immediately narrowed at my teasing tone but then he smiled, "Not as much as-"

He suddenly stopped short, as though he had abruptly said something that he hadn't intended to.

But before I could ask him anything about it, he said, "Not as much as I want to punch him for everything he put us through"

"Hey now, he only did that to try and retrieve his Luna", I said softly, "And I honestly think it was worth it. She is one of the lost Lunas. She is important"

"Nothing is more important that you, heart", he told me firmly, his face immediately turning serious, "Nothing. Not just to me, but to every single person belonging to Werewolf kingdom"

"But Rino isn't a werewolf, Zuerien", I said and his jaw clenched as he looked away from me.

"I know", he replied, "I guess I had just hoped that if anything were to go wrong, he could count on him to prioritize you over all else. That I could trust him to put you first", his eyes hardened, "I was wrong"

"Zuerien", I said gently, cupping his face and turning it to make him look back at me, "I can understand that you're mad. As as a King, you have right to be angry with Rino for having risked not only his own life but also the safety of many other people today, but you don't however have to right to be upset with him as my mate.

"You will always put me first because your soul is hardwired to do so. I'm your soulmate, I'm precious to you. You can't help but prioritize me above everything else. But exactly like that, Rino is the predestined guardian of one of our lost Lunas. His soul is also tuned to put her before everyone else. He can't help it"

I pressed my hands on his shoulders, "And look at it this way, Rino had no idea that I would be coming along to help get him", I said, "In the crazy state of mind he was in earlier, he probably didn't even realize that someone would actually come after him. And I'm sure that had he known that we would come for him, and risk our lives to save him, he would have acted more rationally"

Zuerien remained silent, considering my words thoughtfully. I smiled at him, leaning closer to him, "You know Rino, Zuerien", I said lovingly, "He's like me. His feeling run him. And us feelers tend to be illogical and rash quite often, but trust me when I say this, we don't mean anyone any harm. I myself have caused kingdom wide trouble on so many occasions because of my recklessness, but it was done unknowingly. I never meant to"

"Its different with you, heart", he defended me immediately.

"Perhaps it is", I said, "But the basic reasoning behind it all is the same. And most importantly, Rino didn't even know that I was coming with you guys. And the minute I got through to him via mind-link, he immediately snapped out of his daze and responded to me. He didn't mean to put any of us in danger Zuerien", I cupped his cheek, "You understand, don't you?

Zuerien smiled at me before taking my hand into his and pressing a kiss on my knuckles.

"Leave it to you to be considerate even now, heart", he said tenderly, "You're too compassionate for your own good. You're literally always defending other people, do you know that?"

I shook my head, "I guess that because its the only way I can feel better about being such a troublesome thing"

Zuerien tsked, tightening his hold around my waist, "No its not. Its because you're naturally a big hearted person. Give yourself some credit Suzzanah, okay? Because you're right. You're right, Rino wouldn't have knowingly put anyone in danger, especially not you. Its like I said, the only reason he agreed to come back was because you asked him to. He cares for you, deeply"

"Not quite as much as he does for you though"

Zuerien rolled his eyes, "Ugh, not this bromance shit again", he said smiling exasperatedly at me.

I giggled, "Hey, you know its true"

Without warning, he suddenly pulled me on top of him completely such that I now sat on his lap, straddling his hips. I cried out in shock as he pulled me close, his lips a mere centimeter away from mine.

"The only romance that I'll ever indulge in, will be with you, Heart", he said lowly, his eyes flashing mischievously, "And I'll be more than happy to prove my point to you, once again"

My face turned a bright red as my bare intimates pressed into the cloth of his pants and I gasped in horror when his large hands cupped my unclothed buttcheeks.

"Zuerien!" I shrieked alarmed as he squeezed my butt.

"You have such a nice round ass", he growled out appreciatively, "Fucking perfection!"

"And you have such a dirty mouth, Alpha!" I exclaimed in embarrassment, squirming in his arms, looking like a bright red Popsicle.

"But you like it dirty"

"Zuerien Kai Royale!"

He threw his head back, laughing, "Oh you must be majorly uncomfortable to be using the full name card. Did you hear that Kai?"

Sure did, Kai responded immediately, She makes our name sound so hot. Well, your name. My name is already hot

This time it was my turn to start laughing while Zuerien just sat there scowling, "Why the hell did I voluntarily include him in this conversation?"

Because you love me, human

"Shut the hell up Kai"

Suzzanah, don't feel embarrassed about liking it dirty with us, Kai began, We're part animal. Dirty is sort of like our middle name.

Another bout of mad laughter escaped my lips while Zuerien's scowl deepened till he was just looking like 'wtf'?

"Your middle name, maybe", he said, looking disgusted, "Mine unfortunately is Kai"

Excuse you, human, but Kai is much cooler than Zuerien. How do you even pronounce that?

"With class. Something you lack"

Well you're right. One would need a class to learn how to get your name right

"Do you or do you not realize that that is your name too?" Zuerien cried out.

I do, but I try not to think about being associated with you in any way

"Well that makes two of us", Zuerien said grumpily.

"Technically still one of you", I corrected making him immediately look at me with narrowed mismatched eyes.

"I feel like Kai's gotten a lot louder and harder to control ever since you came into our lives", Zuerien told me.

Yeah Suzzanah brought out the best in you, you curmudgeon!

"What the hell is that? Where did you even learn that word?"

Who needs a class now, human?

"Bloody-"

"Hey, how is possible for Kai to know a word when you don't?" I asked surprised.

"I do know the word. I've just never really used it", Zuerien told me, "It must have been at the back of my mind somewhere. You know, somewhere I store all the unnecessary junk I don't really need", he said the last bit a little loudly, obviously directing the words at Kai.

So you admit you actually store junk up here in this thing you call a brain

"I can't with this wolf", Zuerien said in exasperation.

"What does curmudgeon mean anyway?" I asked.

Grumpy, grouchy, irritable, you know heart. Its a synonym of Zuerien

"KAI I SWEAR TO GOD-!"

"Okay! Okay, lets just calm down shall we?" I said hurriedly.

I am perfectly calm, sweetheart

"That's because you don't have to deal with yourself!" Zuerien snapped.

See what I mean? Curmudgeon.

Zuerien looked like he was about to punch his own face so I quickly intervened, "Okay, Kai. I think that's enough testing the human's patience for today and just so we don't have any furniture going up in flames soon, don't mind me, I'm just going to butt in"

Of course! You can put your sweet butt in anything you like, Suzzanah. We wont mind at all, Kai said seriously, Provided you don't hurt your rear end doing so

I literally choked on air.

Mirth flooded Zuerien face immediately and he grinned, "Its times like these that actually help me stand Kai"

"You're incorrigible!" I gasped out.

"You like it"

"No I don't! Stop squeezing my butt!" I shouted shocked.

His eyes immediately darkened, "You're mine mate. I can do whatever I want to to this absolutely flawless body of yours. And I can guarantee you'll love every second of it and be craving for more and more, just like you were a few minutes earlier"

My face flamed, "I-I wasn't craving for m-more!" I protested.

Oh but you were, heart. Don't you remember?

"KAI!" I cried out horrified.

How the hell did they know?

"What can we say? Your mind is like an open book to us"

A very interesting book, Kai added.

"You're in my head again!"

Its such a nice place, soft and sweet. Just like you. I much prefer it to the human's stuffy and hot head

Zuerien growled in irritation and I couldn't help it as a giggle slipped out of my mouth.

"I don't understand, how are you guys so similar and yet still so different?" I asked, genuinely curious.

Zuerien sighed, "Well, we're sort of like the same person split into two, with varying quantities of all characteristics. Everyone has all the essential characteristics built into them, but certain qualities are more pronounced in them than others. For example, I have short temper, but also have a certain degree of cool to stay calm in tense situations- well. All except the ones involving you", he added making me smile.

"But you see, our characteristics, although not exactly divided, do get concentrated more in one side of our personalities. For example, as Zuerien Kai Royale, I have a stable mind but the human side of me consists more of my quick temper, whereas Kai bears more of my calm side, which is why he doesn't lose his temper too easily"

My eyebrows rose in amazement as he continued, "Similarly the human side of me prefers to ignore and not indulge in topics I don't find interesting, whereas Kai, as you may have noticed, will retort, and will also be very sarcastic while doing so", he said making me giggle.

"Another important point to note would be I have the human side of me actually has a filter while Kai is just shameless"

That made me burst out laughing.

At least I make her laugh

"Kai also has a one track mind", Zuerien said.

Only for you, Suzzanah

"Yeah, only for you", Zuerien agreed, "Actually when it comes to you, we can be extremely similar. Despite being calmer than the human side of me, we both freak out equally when something happens to you. Despite usually being more reserved than Kai, we both are equally vocal with you. And most importantly, we both can't ever get tired your beautiful mind and sexy as sin body"

My heart immediately skipped a beat and I looked away sheepishly, suddenly feeling shy.

Zuerien chuckled before leaning in and kissing my cheek.

"And we both love it when you blush"

So freaking cute!

"I know right"

We're Suzzanah's fan-wolves

"Pretty much"

She's awesome

"She is"

"You guys, stooop", I said, burying my face in Zuerien neck, giggling bashfully.

I felt a rush of Zuerien's affection course through me as he leaned over and kissed the top of my head before sighing heavily.

"I wish I could hold you like this and protect you in my arms forever", he said softly, "But somehow, the harder I try to keep you from danger, the more danger seems to come looking for you. Sometimes, I really feel helpless"

Kai immediately quieted down and his feelings of guilt and regret brimmed inside of me.

"But you come for me every time", I replied. Pushing away to look at him, "That's all that matters"

"No sweetheart, its not", he said quietly, "Because no matter how fast I make my way to you, I never manage to reach you before you get hurt"

"Hey hey hey, listen to me", I said, wrapping my arms around his neck, "Let's just clear one thing up. If dirty is you middle name then mine is disaster-prone. So whether it be in the dark dangerous woods somewhere, or within the confines of this cozy hotel room, I will end up hurting myself at least once a day. So don't go making my mate feel bad you hear? Cuz that's just how I roll. There ain't nothing anyone can do about that"

Zuerien bit back a smile, "Suzzanah disaster-prone Winters?"

"Yup!" I said, "Just a little heads-up for you, to let you know that I'm more disaster prone during the Winter too"

He chuckled, "I'll remember", he said, before pulling me into a hug.

I held him close as he nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent. Now that all the excitement and heat had calmed, I was feeling fatigue rise within again, with a vengeance. My muscles ached, and body felt heavy as I let all my weight fall on my mate's frame. And soon I was at the verge of falling asleep again from exhaustion.

It was then that I felt a twinge of anxiety hit me through the mate bond.

"You really are okay, aren't you baby?" he asked me quietly and I felt his pent-up worry rising up once again.

"I'm fine, my love. Don't worry", I said and warmth immediately replaced the worry I had been feeling.

Slowly turning me in his arms, he laid me back down next to him, letting my body sink into the soft mattress gently. He pulled the thick comforter over me, instantly making me feel better about my no longer exposed body. Then he settled next to me, holding himself up on his elbow while his other arm wrapped around my waist.

Laying there, he just watched me quietly, dark eyes drinking in my features. Although I felt much more at ease now that I could feel him and our bond again, it also accentuated his ever-present concern for me. But one feeling that continued to flow through our bond like a fresh stream of water was his relief, and I was happy for that.

Smiling up at him, I ran a hand through his thick hair, "You know, I've noticed something about you"

"Hmm?" he asked, tilting his head and leaning into my touch.

"You only call me baby when you're really really worried about me", I told him, "But other than that, its always heart"

His brows rose, "Really?" he asked surprised.

I nodded, "Yeah"

He smiled thoughtfully, "I didn't realize", he replied.

I hummed tiredly, "I guess I'm getting really good at figuring you out huh?"

He didn't reply immediately, his face remaining solemn, "Yeah", he said quietly after a pause, "Maybe a little too good"

I frowned, not understanding why he seemed disturbed by that. Giving me a quick smile, he leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"You should really sleep now, heart", he told me, "You need the rest more than ever before"

Even though I wanted to stay up and talk to him for a little longer, a tired yawn escaped my lips, making sleep weight down heavily on my eyelids.

"Okay", I breathed out before snuggling into the covers and involuntarily, also into him.

He immediately wrapped his large arm around me, his body cocooning me in its protective embrace. The heat that his body radiated engulfed me like a second blanket, cozy and warm.

Like home.

As Zuerien began to gently caress my hair, I slowly began to drift off to sleep, but not before my mind skimmed over everything that had happened today. And one thing lingered very heavily, even on my heavily sleep-laden consciousness.

That barrage of silver beams.

The panic.

The power.

It had all been so unreal.

And yet so terrifying.

"Zuerien..." I breathed out, half asleep and barely heard him hum in acknowledgement.

With my eyes still closed, I replayed that moment in my head, watching with my mind's eye as the beams shot at me once again.

"Earlier...at the wall...something really strange happened", I told him quietly, barely staying awake.

"What happened?" he asked, and I could lightly feel his concern through our bond.

"When we were there...just before you reached Rino...the wall it-...it started to fire silver beams of light at me"

"What?" the worry intensified.

"You couldn't see it, could you?" I breathed out, "Cole couldn't either...And...they only shot at me, never at anyone else"

Zuerien remained quiet but I could feel his chaotic emotions coursing through me.

"Don't worry...it didn't seem like evil energy..." I told him, trying to open my eyes to look up at him, but not being able to, "In fact...as it flowed into me...I honestly felt...really powerful. That must have been...when you felt out bond suddenly strengthen"

"What happened then, heart?" he asked, and I forced myself to stay awake.

"Then..."

Then I willed it all out of me and sent it shooting back to the wall, I told him via mind-link, too tired to speak.

Why...? he asked confused.

I lightly shook my head, I don't know...I just felt like...the more it entered me, something was going terribly wrong. The energy, on its own, didn't seem bad but...the more it flowed into me...the more I felt like it was...destroying something else...something...important...

Zuerien didn't reply and I added, And once I had forced it all out of me, I felt...exhausted. I couldn't feel a thing...just like how it was when I woke up.

Suzzanah...

Do you know...what that could have been...?

I waited for him to reply, barely hanging onto consciousness.

I'll find out, he finally replied, I'll talk to John. For now, don't worry about anything, alright heart? Just rest. Sleep.

...Sleep...?

"And then...sleep. Sleep lots", A familiar voice echoed in my mind.

A voice from my dream.

Emily's voice.

Hmm, sleep, Zuerien, replied and I felt his lips press against my temple, Sweet dreams, my heart.

"And may your dreams...tell you stories no one else can"

"Dreams...", I heard myself whisper before I drifted off to the world of subconscious once more.

That's right. I needed to dream...

...I hope they're sweet...

****

A/N

Hey guys!

How y'all doing?

Thank you SOOO MUCH for all the amazing birthday wishes you guys left on my message board. I was truly overwhelmed by all the love. You are guys are the best!

So, this chapter was a little bit of a breather after the consecutive heart attacks I have been giving you guys lately. And super long too. Hope it didn't bore anyone.

Its more laid back, and may seem like a filler but trust me, in the long run, this chapter is important!

And it was my second time writing mature content. How did I do? *gulps*

So much has to happen and I can't wait to pen it all down. I hope you're all excited for more.

ALSO! I'm going to be a wee bit nice and a wee bit evil VERY SOON. Just saying *maniacal laughter*

If you enjoyed this chapter, please don't forget to VOTE, COMMENT and SHARE! It really helps me out a lot.

Until next time,

All my love,

May