Fourteen: Party Games

"You must Hanna's parents," Mrs Badgerson said, looking at Hiccup and Astrid. "I'm Linda Badgerson, Thorstein's Mother. You're very welcome to stay in the parents' area or come back later to collect your daughter. Entirely up to you..."

"Um...this isn't Hanna's Mom," Hiccup said in a faint voice. Then he took a deep breath. "This is her Nanny, Astrid." Instantly, the smile fell from Mrs Badgerson's face.

"The hired help definitely isn't welcome," she said in a cold voice. Astrid's eyes widened as Hiccup stared, his face filling with dismay.

"I'm sorry?" he stammered. "How-how is that fair?"

"I invited parents," Mrs Badgerson said briskly. Hanna looked up as well from where she and Thor were looking at the pictures of dragons.

"But I asked Astrid to come because Thor said we could bring Mommies and Daddies..." The woman nodded.

"Yes, I did," she said clearly. "But she isn't your Mommy, is she?"

"No. My Mommy is dead. So I have Astrid instead," Hanna said angrily, her small fists balled. "So I want Astrid here!" Hiccup winced and moved towards his fierce little daughter as Mrs Badgerson's eyes widened.

"Oh. Oh! So you're the one with the dead mother," she said in surprise. "But you look normal..." Astrid glared at her as Hiccup flinched.

"Yeah, we left our sackcloth and ashes behind-you didn't specify that we should come looking miserable and depressed on the invitation," he snarked as the woman grimaced.

"Snarky," she commented.

"Insensitive," Astrid growled. "This is your son's party. He has invited Hanna..."

"I invited Hanna," Mrs Badgerson corrected her.

"You invited your son's friend," she said, gesturing to the little boy, who was awkwardly hugging the upset little girl. "And you've just upset her and him."

"I'm not the one who tried to bring the hired help in," Mrs Badgerson retorted.

"I'd have thought you approved of a Nanny to help look out for a child's wellbeing," Astrid said with forced calmness. "Unless of course, you're jealous that you don't have one..." The irritated gleam in the woman's eyes told her that she had scored a direct hit but she still sighed and glanced over at to Hanna and Hiccup. "But I don't want to ruin your party, Mrs Badgerson. I won't stay where I am not welcome," she said coolly, then turned back to Hanna. "I'm sorry, honey. Thor's Mommy doesn't want me here. You go in with Daddy and have a fun time." But Hanna stamped her foot.

"NO!" she said angrily and then turned to Mrs Badgerson. "You're one of the mean ladies who points at Astrid when we come out of the school. I've seen you! Why can't I have Astrid? Wartnut's Mommy's partner isn't his Daddy. And Ulric has two Mommies. Jorgen has his Aunt and Uncle, not his Mommy or Daddy. And Ingrid has come with Helena and Helena's Daddy and his Daddy's Secretary who she spends Saturdays with."

"I-I-I..." Mrs Badgerson stammered, shocked by the fierce attack and also by the child's logic and a whole host of gossip that she had somehow missed.

"And Astrid is much prettier than you and she doesn't have those horrid spider thingies around her eyes!" Hanna pointed out, glaring at the woman's heavily mascara'd eyelash extensions.

"She has a point," Hiccup murmured as Thor began laughing as well. The other woman scowled and shook her head.

"I am afraid it would ruin the dynamics of the parental zone," the short-haired woman said and Hiccup stared then cringed: it was Stella.

"Who are you?" Hanna asked directly. The woman leaned forward to Hanna's level.

"I am Stella Limbukerquefantalalopoulou-Jones," she said. "I am the overall facilitator of this party. And you must be the little girl who lost her Mommy..."

"I didn't lose her-I know where she is," Hanna replied bluntly. "She's in the Cemetery. She died." Eyes widening at the childish directness, Stella leaned close.

"I can help you with your grief with some chanting and role play and visualisation and..." she began as Hiccup leaned towards Astrid.

"Role play? Oh great, asking my fierce little daughter to pretend she has lost her Mom all over again," he murmured as she nodded.

"You were really considered her for Hanna's Nanny?" she asked him quietly but he shook his head frantically.

"Not for a microsecond once I met her-but on paper she looks eminently qualified..." he protested. "You were waaaaaay the best candidate. And definitely not a man-hating vegan psychopath." She smiled.

"Correct answer," she complimented him.

"Mommy-I want Hanna's Daddy and...Astrid...to come in if they want," Thor said suddenly. He was looking stubborn as well and Mrs Badgerson leaned towards her prized offspring and gave her false smile again.

"Of course, Thor darling," she said in a sickly voice and looked at the pair and the three sets of parents standing behind them, watching the encounter and looking mildly disapproving at the scene. The encounter had upset her carefully-planned welcome and definitely wasn't enhancing her social status in front of the other parents. "In you go..."

"I'll take Hanna in," Thor said eagerly then grabbed Hanna's hand then hauled the laughing girl in. Nodding pleasantly, Hiccup and Astrid followed the children before Mrs Badgerson could comment further.

"Hanna's Daddy and...Astrid? Am I some separate lifeform?" Astrid asked dryly.

"Hey, I think everyone should have an Astrid," Hiccup replied gently and then he grinned. "But I would rather keep you for myself..." And then he groaned and face-palmed. "Gods, I am so sorry...that was so cheesy..." he apologised immediately as they helped Hanna out of her coat and saw her run off with Thor towards the Paint Wall, a wall covered with thick lining paper that the children could paint on at will. As they watched, Thor gave Hanna a big painting brush covered with brilliant cobalt blue paint while grabbing a brush loaded with red paint and after giggling at the thought, they both began to paint on the wall.

"As long as Hanna realises that she can only do that here, I'm fine," Astrid murmured absently, casting around for the hooks and hanging up Hanna's pink anorak, scarf, mittens and hat and their coats as well.

"I mean, I didn't mean to imply anything..." Hiccup rambled on. "I mean, I'm glad you're all mine..." And he groaned and face-palmed again.

"I mean, if she starts this at home, I'm making her scrub the walls," Astrid commented.

"I am so so so sorry," Hiccup carried on urgently. "I mean I don't know what I meant. I mean I am just so lucky I won you rather than anyone else..." He face-palmed a third time. "I think I may just shut up. And tape my mouth shut. And hide in a corner..."

"Getting a red mark on your face, Hiccup," Astrid told him in an amused voice. "Shall we go up and sit in the parent zone and ruin the dynamics of the blended families, cheating husbands and same sex relationships?"

"It would be my pleasure!" Hiccup said and followed her up, the red mark from his face-palming still obvious on his forehead. But he couldn't help noticing the way she moved with confidence, her poise as she walked and the way her braid bounced from her left shoulder as she reached the top of the industrial-style metal stairs to the brightly coloured plastic chairs and tables in the parent zone. There were teas and coffees and snacks available and a full unrestricted view of the Paint Factory so they could keep a good view of their little ones. Hiccup and Astrid took a table by the railing so they could look down and see Hanna happily painting a picture of herself with two bigger stick figures and a house and a sun while Thor was painting a dragon with himself (a smaller stick figure) riding it. Hiccup smiled.

"You know, Heather never really got past stick figures," he murmured, rising and getting them both a coffee. "But Hanna is already looking like she's got some talent there. She loves drawing and she's got a good eye, especially for colour." Sipping her coffee, Astrid smiled at the pride in his voice and nodded.

"Tell me about her," she invited him. "I mean, not if you don't want to...but she is Hanna's Mom and you still love her...so it would be nice to know a bit more about her." Yes widening, Hiccup stared at her. "Or not. I didn't mean to offend you..." He toyed with his coffee and absently poured in four sachets of sugar, one after the other.

"No, no, I'm not offended," he murmured. "In fact, I'm touched. I mean, you never met Heather..."

"But I know her husband and her daughter and from the people you are, then she must have been very special." She reached forward and rested a hand on his. He looked up and gave a wan smile.

"Okay," he began.

Astrid saw his eyes light as he talked about his dead wife, about a woman he still loved and missed but who had given him a wonderful daughter and a host of memories that he would never cease to treasure. She kept flicking her glance down to see that all the party guests had arrived and that Stella was bring to conduct affairs. The Paint Factory staff were chivvying the children along but Thor stuck loyally to Hanna's side and it was evident she was happy to be with him. She noted Wartnut and a couple of other boys were being quite raucous and shoving and throwing paint. Stella made no effort to curb them, merely smiling at their free expression.

Hiccup finally sighed, his face lit with happiness.

"Thank you," he said. He had been talking for about half an hour about Heather and Astrid had been listening and filing nuggets of information for later. Hiccup stared at the beautiful woman, who had been kind and patient, comforting him when his voice stuttered to a halt and listening with a smile, prompting him to elaborate. Somehow, he felt that a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders and for once, he felt relaxed about thinking about Heather. She smiled at his expression, knowing it was what he had needed.

"It was a pleasure," she said, snatching a swift glance over her shoulder at Hanna. She and Thor were at the face-painting and both had gone for dragons-Thor choosing a blue and gold dragon face while Hanna had been painted with a black dragon face with grey scales over her cheeks. They were laughing and bouncing with excitement and two other small girls-a skinny blonde girl with thick-rimmed glasses and a redhead with wild curls. Astrid smiled, seeing her charge happy...until Stella walked forward.

"Come on, Thor," she said. "You've spent long enough with those girls. You should play with your other friends now." Frowning, Astrid leaned forward, seeing the woman interfere.

"But I wanna play with Hanna, Sorrel and Meri," the boy protested.

"You've spent the time so far with Hanna and you have other guests," Stella told him briskly.

"But I don't like Wartnut and his friends-Mom made me ask them!" he protested.

"They are your guests so you need to play with them!" she told him sternly.

"Don't wanna. This is my party. Why can't I play with who I want?" Thor asked her stubbornly.

"You'll do as you're told!" Stella told him and grabbed his shoulders, steering him away. The boy cast a sad look at his friends and Hanna gave a small sigh, her smile dropping. Then she looked at the other girls.

"What shall we do then?" she asked them dispiritedly.

Astrid felt her temper rise: the woman had interfered for whatever reasons she thought were important but in the process, she had made four children unhappy-including Hanna. And then she heard Hiccup murmur in her ear.

"Thor, she really is a miserable article, isn't she?" She flicked up.

"Yeah-she doesn't seem to like allowing anyone to be happy," she replied. He gave a smile.

"I definitely made the right choice," he concurred. "In fact..."

"Hanson!" a voice boomed and Hiccup grimaced and then looked up, a fake smile plastered in his face. A solid, bulky man was striding forward, a shiny silver silk suit straining around his rounded middle, his thick moustache carefully clipped and his face red with too much alcohol. A half-full brandy balloon was cradled expertly in his hand.

"It's Hiccup," the auburn-haired man corrected him automatically.

"Are you sure?" the man asked him with a frown. "I'm sure you told me it was actually Hanson."

"Alas, no, Jakob-I've been a Hiccup from birth," Hiccup told him sarcastically, the words rolling off the self-absorbed man's exterior like water off a duck's back. The man hauled up a plastic chair and plonked his bulk on, his pink shirt incongruous under the patterned bow tie. He swigged his brandy as if it were just soda then clapped the skinny man on the shoulder, almost knocking him off his chair.

"That's what I like about you, Hanson-your great sense of humour!" he boomed.

"And that's what I like about you-your complete inability to listen," Hiccup muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing. So how are you enjoying things?" Hiccup asked him. He gestured to a very slender blonde with her long hair framing a pretty face that was overly made-up, lips far too red, eyelashes jet black and too long around her pale blue eyes. Her top was far too tight and low cut, the red leather mini skirt barely reaching mid-thigh and skyscraper heels with livid red soles hopelessly impractical for a children's party. The man gave a chuckle.

"My Helena and her little friend Ingrid are having a whale of a time while I see your little girl has monopolised the host," he said, elbowing Hiccup and succeeding in knocking him off his chair. "Of course Ophelia and I are having a great time up here-have you found the bar?" Hiccup blinked and realised that behind the snacks there was a bar with a cheerfully-dressed bartender than he realised with more of a shock was Tuffnut. As he watched, Ruff popped up as well, winked at him and ducked back down behind the bar. Tuff winked and waved a cocktail shaker in one hand.

"What can I get you, Hiccy?" he called.

"Um...surprise me..." Hiccup said without thinking and then his eyes widened. "Um...hang on a minute..."

"One Thorston Special coming up..." Tuff announced, reaching for a handful of spirit bottles.

"Oh my Thor," Hiccup murmured.

"Odd fellow-but he makes a mean Sidecar-according to Lia," Jakob commented bluffly, watching Tuff slosh at least five separate spirits into the shaker along with copious ice and a dash of cranberry. He winked as he stuffed in a mint leaf as well and then began wildly shaking the mixture. "Anyway, I wanted to congratulate you. You seem to have picked up a very fine piece of your own." Hiccup blinked.

"Um...what?" he mumbled, disorientated. Gesturing with his brandy, Jakob winked at Astrid.

"A really looker, if you don't mind me saying," he said loudly. "I mean, there could be a bit more on the rack but she looks pretty fit..." Hiccup snapped his head round to look at Astrid, who was glaring.

"Excuse me?" she asked icily.

"Where did you find her? Because I need to pay me a visit. Hubba hubba!" Jakob continued unwisely and swigged his brandy again. Hiccup frowned.

"First up-that is so inappropriate," he said sternly. "I mean, you are here with Ophelia who you left your wife, Helena's Mom, for. And yet you're talking about looking for another companion. And you've just demeaned Astrid..."

"Sitting right here and able to speak for myself!" Astrid cut in.

"Intelligent and beautiful-oh, me likey!" Jakob slurred, leaning towards her with a lecherous smile. "Howsabout we go and discuss your...braid...in the bathrooms? I'm sure you are very good with your..."

"Here you go!" Tuff said obliviously, putting down a multicoloured drink poured over a pile of fruit with two umbrellas sticking out. The thing was almost shimmering with alcohol as he grinned at the three people at the table, caught Astrid's expression and then backed away very quickly.

"And you have insulted me as well," Hiccup snapped. "If you believe that she is here with me, why in Helheim would she want to go anywhere with you except, perhaps, to castrate you with a rusty knife?"

"Again, still able to talk for myself!" Astrid growled.

"And let's not forget your wife who you still haven't divorced because you don't want to pay maintenance or risk having to reveal all your money stashed away in offshore accounts and very shady enterprises!" Hiccup continued, grabbing the drink and taking a huge swig. And then his eyes widened and he gave a loud cough. "Thor...what did he put in there?" he managed in a hoarse voice.

"By the looks of it, everything he had," Astrid commented.

"How do you know about my accounts?" Jakob asked in an irritated voice.

"Dagny-your wife-told Heather when she suspected you were cheating on her," Hiccup told him smugly. "She told me because she never liked you."

"I never liked her-black haired girls were never my cup of tea. Blondes, on the other hand..." Jakob told him bluntly, eyeing Astrid lasciviously..

"Can see right through you-except maybe poor Ophelia who's pissed and all over that man with the gold medallion," Astrid pointed out. Jakob spun in his chair and saw a dark-haired man bearing a striking resemblance to Snotlout but older with slicked back jet hair, cool blue eyes and an open-necked black shirt, sitting next to the blonde secretary and nuzzling her neck.

"HEY!" Jakob yelled and scrambled up, draining his brandy and stamping towards the other man, who looked up with a smug expression, his hand still on Ophelia's ass. Astrid leaned close to Hiccup, who was still vibrating with a combination of fury and alcohol poisoning.

"Can dish it out but can't take it," she murmured, her hand finding his. "Calm down, Hiccup. I wasn't going to kill him-though he would have deserved it. And the way you defended me was very sweet." Hiccup blinked again.

"That was the worst cocktail," he managed, absently sipping it again and coughing. "And why did I do that?"

"I think it may be addictive-or so alcoholic it overwhelms the sanity centres of the brain," Astrid said smugly as they watched Jakob and the other man-who Hiccup realised was in fact Snotlout's father, Spitelout-square up to one another.

"I suspect the sanctity of the parent zone may be ruined by the fist fight," he commented.

"What fist fight?" Astrid asked as Jakob punched Spitelout. "Oh, that one..." She watched as the two men-both large, very buff and intoxicated-started trading punches, pinballing off the tables, knocking over chairs and shoving the other parents aside. Astrid grabbed Hiccup and they dived away as the two tipped over their table and spilled the cocktail which promptly melted the plastic chair.

"Oh my Thor-I actually drank that?" Hiccup gasped as the two men continued to roll on the floor, trading punches. Ophelia was standing to one side, her hands over her mouth and a smug look in her eyes.

"Oh please, don't fight over me," she said unconvincingly as the men continued to trade punches and profanities. They knocked over the table of snacks and vegan canapés, fruit and small rubbery cakes scattered over the industrial metal mesh floor. Immediately the men rolled over them and crushed them through the mesh, showering the staff below with sustainably-sourced crumbs.

"What is going on here?" a familiar voice demanded as Stella stomped up the stairs as much as someone barefoot could manage. One of the other parents looked up-and then pointed at Astrid.

"It's her fault!" she said.