October 4th, 2017

I was running down an unfamiliar road. I didn't know how I got there, all I knew was that I had to get away. There were too many people, too many voices.
I had my hands over my ears, trying to block out the curses and shouting of a typical New York crowd, and the significantly louder voices of Bianca and Hades.
Anywhere I ran, they would pop up, telling me horrible things. Things I already knew.
I couldn't get away from the people, there seemed to be an infinite amount, getting in my way as I ran and tripping me.
I stumbled and lost grip on my ears, making everything louder. The unbearable noise that already clouded my hearing. My brain was having a sensory overload.
I regained my balance and started running again, my backpack bouncing on my back, weighing me down. I ran until my chest was burning and I could hardly get a breath out. As if the gods had heard me dying, an empty alley appeared to my left.
I dove in it and the noise diminished, leaving only the sound of my panting breaths. I collapsed to my knees, trying to get my breathing back in order and make the terrible stitch in my side go away.

"Nico, Nico, Nico," my dead sister crooned horribly in my ear, making me shiver all over.
"How useless can a person be? You have no purpose in this world, so why are you still in it?"

"Go away, you're lying!" I yelled back, crawling on my hands and knees to the back corner of the alley, as if it could shield me from the voices.

"You know, your sister has always been very smart, unlike you. You've never been very good at anything Nico," my father replied thoughtfully, on the other side of me, stroking his chin. They were horrible. I couldn't make them go away. If I had made it to her place I may have been ok, but I got lost running from everything.

"Please," I whispered pathetically, but to no avail, they kept chomping on.

"You don't deserve to live in this world. You're disgusting, too skinny, gross, and have never done anything for anyone but your self, you're practically wasting away. No wonder no one likes you," she spat venomously. She walked in front of me, crouching down.

"Fuck," I wrapped my arms around my head.
"Why can't you leave me alone? I'm you're fucking brother," I said, my eye lids dropping and tears staining my cheeks.
She spat at my vans, and towered over me, her next words booming.

"You are no brother to me."

--------

I woke with a start, hyperventilating, and drenched in sweat. My legs were so tangled in my sheets I could hardly move, and my hair and pillow was wet. I laid there for a couple minutes to catch my breath, before sitting up and slowly untangling my legs.
I soon gave up and flopped back into my back and grabbed my phone from my floor where it was charging. It read 6:16 am. I kicked my covers off and rolled myself out of bed, and hit my hands to my cold, hard wood floor with a loud thud.
I rubbed my eyes and sniffed. I seemed to be crying, considering my cold had disappeared the day after the laughing fit with Will.
I was still dripping with sweat, so I grabbed my towel, toiletries and clothes, and walked to my door. When I opened it, several kids fell, including Marcus, who landed by my feet.
They scrambled up and backed up to Daren, the tallest and oldest of them all. Technically I was the oldest in the foster home, but they didn't act like it. Daren was their leader.

"Why?" I questioned, really done with all of they're shit. Marcus spoke, after composing himself.

"You were yelling in your sleep," he stated firmly, with a straight face. His straight face disappeared when one of the other kids started snickering, because he was trying to cover up his smile.

"Well that's just great." I said sarcastically, closing my door and shoving past them to the bathroom.
They immediately started whispering amongst themselves.

I felt more awake in the shower, but the silence let me contemplate my dream.
People always say that being asleep means they are safe from their problems in their life. Untouchable. I guess I didn't get the fucking memo.
I finished washing myself and then stayed in the shower for a long time. I sat down after 5 minutes because my legs got tired. I let the hot water pour over my hair and back. I didn't get out until the water started to get cold.
I hopped out before I got a chill, and got dried and dressed In my all-black attire.
I looked in the fogged up mirror and wiped a patch of it clean with my towel so I could see myself. I put my hands on the counter and leaned forwards to get a better look. My eyes were still slightly red from crying not too long ago, and had dark bags underneath them. I had a pimple, most likely from stress, forming on my chin, though my skin was other wise clear. My wet black hair hung over my forehead, and my lips were chapped and split from biting them constantly.
I rubbed my eyes, but it changed nothing.
I opened the door to the bathroom where Daren was standing with  a towel wrapped around his neck.

"Took you long enough, jeez," he grumbled and shoved past me, knocking me off  balance. I stumbled and glowered at the door that was slammed shut. Why are people so annoying?

I made my way back to my room and shut my door, trying to block out any noises from the outside.
A furious shout sounded after the shower started again. It turned off and a door was thrown open. I listened intently to the stomping of feet, until I realized they were right outside my door.

"Di Angelo!" He opened my door and I was met with a wet, shivering, only covered by a towel around the waist, Daren.
"You took all of the hot water!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air loosening his towel. He grabbed at it and left the room,

"Sorry," I laughed lightly. He seemed to of heard me because from the room not very far away he yelled back,
"Dick!"

I slipped on my black hoodie and my old, ripped vans and then grabbed my backpack before plugging myself into my earbuds and heading out. Fall out boys newly released song, Champion, was playing, and I stepped through the cool fall air to the beat of drum. I didn't like their new album, but this song was acceptable.

I thought of texting Jenny about my dream, but then I got worried I would be bugging her. I know Will explained she was going through stuff, but what if I was just making it worse? What if I was making her bad mood worse with my problems?
I rested my finger over her contact number, the first out of four, and instead went on my newest contact.

I texted Will about my dream, and how shitty I thought it was.
I got his phone number before I left on Tuesday, but we haven't really talked. I still didn't trust him enough to tell him everything about myself like Jenny, or really that much at all, but he deserved to get to know what it's really like to be a psychologist. If we have talked, it was only little things like him asking how my day was, and me answering and then me asking him the same thing.
I thankfully have mastered the act of dodging people around me when I'm on my phone, and got to school without any mishaps.
I was about to stick my phone in my back pocket, it vibrated notifying me that Will texted me back.

W: that sucks. Just try to forget about it today, push it out of your mind, and good news, I'm coming tonight!

I smiled at his enthusiasm that I could feel through the phone and replied. I wasn't exactly happy he was coming, but it may be better this way because I could use him as a buffer if Jenny was still in a bad mood. I hoped he wouldn't come to them all though. He was a little annoying with his optimism.

N: really? I thought you had class?

W: I did, but it was canceled so I figured I could tag along, is that ok? I know you like your separate classes without me

N: yeah that's fine, I'll see you there

The three bubbles popped up and I stopped on the side of the walkway up to the school expecting the next reply when I was shoved from behind. The shoulder made me stumble and drop my phone onto the pavement, ripping my ear buds out of my ears painfully.
I caught my balance thankfully, but my phone skid and I scrambled to my knees to grab it. Caleb, who was the one pushed me over in the first place, laughed with his friends as I sat on the pavement looking over my phone and swearing loudly when I saw the crack on the top right corner.

Will had answered, saying he had to go to breakfast with his mom. I swore again. I can't stand having my phone broken, although most people don't either. Not to sound like every other teenager in the world, but my phone is one of my most prized possessions.
I stood up under the cloudy sky and spewed another long line of interesting curses, this time in Italian.
Then I was tapped on the same shoulder that was shoved so I whipped around, a furious glare on my face. It softened when I saw Sarah staring at me.

"Oh, hi Sarah," I muttered and stuck my phone and earbuds in my bag. She was bouncing again, and her pony tail was swinging back and forth behind her.

"Hi Nico! I was just wondering if today we could work on our project? Monday and Yesterday I had to go to horseback riding, and Friday and Tuesday you couldn't, so is today free? And are you ok?" She hit me with a ramble of words being said at a million miles per second. I had to go over them twice before I could reply.

"Well, I have to go somewhere after school, but we've put it off long enough so what about at lunch? And yeah, I'm fine," I finished, hoping I got all of what she asked in my sentence. I wasn't as socially awkward around her as most people, even though I really was, which shows I'm really awkward with most people. I'm not sure why, she was just always so happy and not awkward and it was like she pushed that onto me.

"Yeah sure, that's great! Ok I got to go to class, see you soon!" She skipped off over to her 4 friends waiting for her and starting talking loudly.
I made my way through the crowds in the school and through the day as normally as possible.
Me and Sarah's meet up went fine, and she was as bubbly as ever, talking as if she only had a few minutes left on this earth and needed to fit everything in one sentence.
In my last class I was sat beside the window and watched the rain fall to the ground in buckets. I was mesmerized for part of the class, listening to the teacher, but eyes latched on the water as it pooled outside.
Only when the bell rang did I realize I would have to walk all the way home in that rain, with no money to get a bus ride.
I trudged out to my locker slowly, getting shoved around by other students, hoping I could stall enough for the rain to stop. Unfortunately I knew I didn't have that good of luck.
I packed all I would need to do homework when I got back home and pulled the small rain tarp over my bag so it wouldn't soak through. Im always prepared.
I put my hood up, which wouldn't do much in this weather, but it was better than nothing.
I shuffled with the crowd out to the double doors that led outside. I broke from the crowd and stood up against the wall where I was shielded by the slight overhang on the roof. I waited until there wasn't hoards of people before heading out to conquer the wet roads.
I took about 4 steps away from the school before my backpack was yanked and I stumbled, almost slipping. My bag was ripped off my back and I heard it get thrown onto the grass a little ways away and I was turned to face whoever was attacking me, but was instantly shoved hard. I did slip this time, and went flying backwards. My head hit the cement with a sickening crack.
My vision was clouded with black dots, and I was soaked through. Once I could see, I looked up at Caleb, the jerk who pushed me that morning and one of the guys that fought Rudy.
He was laughing with his friends, but one of them pointed out that I was conscious and he turned on me.
I twisted and scrambled to my feet and tried to run, but he pushed me down again, this time with his foot on my back. I fell once more, my jeans ripping and my skin tearing on my knees and hands. He kept his muddy boot on my back and forced me to the ground so that my stomach was pressed up to it. All I could smell was wet brick. And mud.
My eyesight once again went black and all I could see was my father. He stood glaring at me in disappointment.

"You're an excuse of a boy. What type of man can't stand up for himself in a fight? A pussy, that's what. I wish you died after I left you, then I could live with the fact that you weren't tainting the male population with your patheticness,"  he sighed, and I was thrown back into reality.
I don't think my mind realizes that I wished I was dead at times like this.
I was yanked to my feet by the back of my hoodie, momentarily choked. My legs kept giving out, and Caleb, the biggest prick of all, was almost holding me up. He punched me across the cheek, and then kneed me in the gut before dropping me once more. The rain was washing away the blood on my hands and knees, but not enough.
They ran off yelling insults and curses.
I sat there in a puddle of rain water and my own blood for a good 30 minutes. I was so tired and I needed the calm of the rain.
I got up to grab my bag, but saw it wasn't where they threw it. I heaved myself up to my feet in annoyance and pain and started to search.
I started searching the front but found nothing so I started around the side of the school. It took me 45 minutes In the rain to find it, but it turned up in the middle of the foot ball field. I thought It couldn't get any worse, but the plastic bag covering my bag had 'faggot' written in neat, capitalized, large letters for anyone to see, and it was still pouring rain so I couldn't take it off.

I looked inside it and sighed in relief to see my phone and computer still safe inside. I checked the time and swore loudly. A swear word that started with F and ended with a K. I wouldn't have time to go home, change, and then walk to Jenny's. Not to mention shower off all the blood dirt and grime covering every inch of my body.
I was so pissed off that at this point I didn't care. I picked up my bag, hoisted it on my back, and stomped out of the flooded field and back to the front of the school.
By the time I got to Jenny's I was a couple minutes early. I leaned against the wall next to the door with a glare on my face.
I waited, staring at my phones clock, until it signalled the start of my session. I burst in the room with a yell.

"I. Hate. People." I slammed the door, soaping wet and overall looking like a homeless person.

Jenny looked concerned and Will looked confused at my angry—and wet— manner.
Then it was like all the adrenaline left my body. In a matter of seconds I had a pounding headache and weak muscles. I dropped my bag, and then dropped myself, passing out.

I woke up a minute later, not on the ground, but in someone's arms, being held bridal style. I looked up and saw Wills blonde curly hair and sharp jawline. Jenny was trailing beside us, freaking out.

"Oh thank god! Your awake!" Jenny exclaimed and ran her fingers through her loose hair. Her eyes were wide and she looked shaken.

"Yeah, put me down," I patted Wills arm but he shook his head.

"Definitely not. You just passed out," he got to the couch and laid me down. I tried sitting up, but I got dizzy. Will pushed me down lightly.
"Stay."

I stayed and waited as Jenny and him rushed around getting a wet towel, and the first aid kit. She got back to me first, and started peppering me with questions.

"Can you hear me? Yes? Ok can you tell me what happened? Did you hit your head?" She started. My headache made it difficult to concentrate on what she was saying but I figured it out.

"I was jumped outside of school, hit my head, a-and uh, got cut up," I stuttered closing my eyes in pain when she touched the back of my head. Her fingers came away bleeding.

"It's just a small cut, it's should be fine," she muttered and started to clean it. Will was tending to my knee and when he touched it I got a shiver.
My anger momentarily returned. I was all of a sudden extremely uncomfortable with them fussing around me so I squirmed out of their grips, ignoring their protests, and crawled over the back of the couch. I landed in a heap on the ground. I scrambled back up, and kept my hands on the couch to stay balanced.

"Nico! Come back, your bleeding!" Jenny exclaimed, placing her hands on her hips.

"No."

"Why not?" She asked irritably. We have known each other for so long that friendly banter always happened, especially when she thought I was being unreasonable.

"I don't like you guys touching me, I swear I'm fine," I told them throwing my hands up into the air and running them through my hair. They came away sticky with blood.
Will's eyes widened, looking horrified and started forwards. Jenny stopped him.

"You're obviously not ok," she said softly and walked slowly over to me. I was still staring at the red on my fingers in astonishment. I didn't realize it was bleeding that much.  Jenny guided me back to the couch and let me sit down with minimal body contact, because that's one thing I really didn't want at the moment. Too much would make me crack.
She talked in hushed tones with Will as I sat staring off into space. Being angry tires me out quickly. I wanted to go to sleep.
My eyes were drooping by the time they came back over to me to finish cleaning me up.
I flinched at the first touch but had no energy to pull away. My eyes we almost completely closed once my head was wrapped up as well as my hands and knee. I heard Jenny whisper to me as she laid me down on the couch and Will cooed quietly. If I was able too, I'd probably blush and hide my face and stutter out a stupid insult, but all I did was grumble and fall asleep.

A/n
Ew.
That started good and then it kind of went down hill, and I'm not sure if it was at all accurate in any way. Ugh. Ok so I planned all of these chapter out (most likely 52??) but this one, the next one and one in the very far future are things I didn't have any ideas for so I just make up what happens on the spot and it suckksss. Oh well.
So it's summer finally, but every week I have 2-3 full days of baby sitting, plus any time I volunteer sooo I may not update as much as I first predicted but I'll try super hard to at least get one up on here every two weeks, hopefully every week if I don't have writers block.
Grieving is kind of on hold I think, even though it's a sort of cliff hanger because I can't make my brain write for it atm. I wish I could but I try and I end up sitting  for 30 minutes doing nothing.

I read this superrrrrr amazing incredible book called Eliza and her monsters and I fully recommend it to everyone here because it's so good!!!

Ok lastly, I put this book up for the watty awards this year so if you like it maybe you could vote? Is that how it's even works? I'm not sure.
Anyways I love you all and thank you for sticking with my stories even though I'm always late.
Hopefully I'll update next week!

|| also, if any of you want you can pm me whenever, I'll answer when I have time||

Word count: 3695

Thea