Puns 21-30

Topic: Sarcasm

-Why is the day that you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on, called a day off?

-To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

-My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk".

-Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."

-Have hope for the future, but maybe build a bomb shelter anyway.

-My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that...

- I'm writing a horror screenplay. It starts off with a ringing phone. The person answers, and it's their mum saying "I have a computer question."

-People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian". Well, nobody's laughing now.

-I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

-My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.