To me, fusion seemed like a way to change yourself. If you hated yourself, just grab another gem you like and literally shove yourselves together. I could tell Amethyst had a lot of insecurities, whenever I looked at her, and she saw me, I saw grief, but then some love. Unlike Garnet, always love. It never changed, the feeling of her eyes never did, her emotions didn't seem to either. Did marriage do that?

Anyway, Amethyst fused with Pearl, and made Opal. I could see why Amethyst liked Opal so much. Opal was tall and light purple. She had a gem on her forehead and on her chest. She had a slimmer body and long white hair. Plump lips and blue eyes. Her voice sounded calming, but mature too. God she was strong, very strong. She helped Lapis and Peridot make a new barn so they could live in I guess.

Garnet had asked me a few times if she wanted me to fuse with her, and every time I just made an awkward smile and shook my head. I've only been awhile for a few days, a few days turned into a few weeks, a few months. A few months, I have living back and forth with Lapis and Peridot or the others in the temple.

Time went by, to about a year later. And every night I sat on the porch of the temple, staring at the sky, wondering when White Diamond will finally realize that making Red Diamond herself won't work.

At day 400, I lost hope. White Diamond would never believe in me. I'd never have my own Pearl. I'd never have my own Sapphire or a small group of Ruby guards. I'd never sit in a throne with a giant quartz by my side. I'd never run a colony and be with the Diamonds in meetings. I'd never talk to Blue again, or Yellow again. I would never travel galaxies and claim planets. I'd just be here until my shatter date. Sitting on Earth, missing out on being a Diamond. Something my gems would look up to, like they with Pink. But Pink, I haven't heard the whole story, she faked her own shatter date and because a Quartz. I wondered, if it was really going to be worth being a Diamond.

"Hey, Purple, you okay? You've been out here for awhile," the door opened and closed behind me, a taller figure than a year ago stood next to me. He was loosing weight dramatically, sickly. I didn't know humans didn't have one form, even if they ate or didn't. Ones that eat a lot are bigger than the ones who don't. Gems, it doesn't matter. You're always the same.

I scanned Steven up and down. His face was pale, and the bruise on his right eye was now turning yellow. Infection? I grabbed his hand with mine. "Steven, you can't do this anymore."

His face let out all the sorrow he had trapped inside of him. They do that, almost all of them do. I look into their eyes and see pain, pain they can't... let out. Like it's trapped. Like Malachite. Lapis trapped Jasper. But Lapis was the person, and Jasper was the emotion, making Malachite unstable. And as soon as I was told all about Malachite from Lapis, I knew, finally, how bad stress is. It really takes its toll on people, and gems. For instance, the gems become older looking when Rose was gone, replaced by Steven. It's true, stress can make us look older, maybe that's why Yellow looks older, she's more powerful, more stress...

I knew it was hard for Steven. Faking everyday was as it was, he keeps forgetting. Sometimes he'll say, 'Hey, can you-' as if she's there. She'll ask him questions, or ask her to do something, but how can she? And when Steven realizes that, he just stares at the ground, or where she used to be at most occasions. Those times, I can just see something I wish I would never face in Steven's eyes.

He took a step back from me, his eyes doing that water thing again. It did that a lot, and when he did he needed comfort. But this time, they went away after he squeezed his eyes shut.

I never lost anyone, so giving Steven comfort or advice is like doing nothing. The only thing I can tell him is I'm sorry.

Three days ago...

It was so hot outside, I though my gem might melt. And after almost crying 'cause I thought it would, Pearl told me hundreds of times it wouldn't. I held two buckets of water for Lapis, so if we were under attack, she could use the water and fight. Garnet, Peridot, and Steven carried buckets too.

"Okay..." I said, taking a deep breath. "I just don't wanna end up like that!"

Pearl gave me a nervous smile, as her and the other Pearls walked towards the others, deep in the desert.

"Everything will be fine. First mission?" Connie asked, wrapped around arm around mine.

I nodded. "The gems didn't want me coming because I didn't really have any powers yet. I didn't know how to fight. Thanks to Bismuth, I finally have a weapon!" I said, lifting as light mace. I gripped it with both hands.

Connie smiled. When we finally got to the others, we saw a corrupted gem, and Amethyst took out her whip. "Don't worry, I'll get this one!" she said, hit it's leg, causing it to scream.

I looked away, why couldn't she just do it quickly?

It poofed, and Amethyst bubbled it's gem. She looked down the hill we were on. "There's more!" she called, she headed back to us, but was suddenly pushed to the ground by another corrupted. I threw my mace at it, soring right into it's head. It poofed, but so did Amethyst. Peridot picked up her gem, and we all ran to the end of the hill, seeing hundreds of corruptions.

"Is this where they all stay?" Pearl asked. "Why are there so many here?"

"Maybe because nobody goes here?" Steven said, watching one run towards them, but was very far away. "Everywhere else, we're there."

"Lets gather them, and have them ready for when the Diamonds get back," Gather them up and have them ready for when the Diamonds get back," Garnet and Steven both shared the same anger towards the Diamonds. When they came back, to bring me to Earth, they never fixed the corrupted gems. And Steven even reminded the Diamonds to bring White Diamond, even though she was upset with me, and bring her to Earth so the four of them could fix the corruptions. But they didn't, they told Steven that if White knew I was here, she'd never leave, she'd want me dead.

Which I never believed. If White wanted me dead, shattered, she would've done it already. She would've come to Earth, knowing Yellow and Blue have brought me here in the first place, because where else would they send me? The moon? An empty planet? To another colony? No, they didn't because a Diamond is easy to spot, and to send me where gems knew who I already was, and were used to hiding secrets, was an easy decision. Of course White knew I was here, if she knew the whole time Pink wasn't shattered, I'm sure finding me is like doing her nails.

"Purple? Are you coming?" Connie asked.

"Y-Yeah! Right behind you?" I said, speed walking to catch up. But I couldn't keep my mind off of White Diamond. I've been told by Yellow that she isn't like them, or like everyone else. But I was here, on Earth, with the Crystal Gems, and I was safe from her. Or... am I? I swung my mace at a corruption's stomach. I caught her gem, holding onto it, I didn't know how to bubble a gem yet.

About half an hour later, we were still fighting. There were way too many, not that they were hard to fight, just too much.

"Should we just-" Pearl got cut off by throwing her spear at another corruption. "Head back?" she finished.

I looked around, we got a little more than half, but it was still a lot.

"No! We must finish what we started!" I heard Ruby in Garnet.

"C'mon Garnet! It's not like they'll leave, they're too DUMB!" Amethyst lashed her whip at one, catching it's gem before it landed in the sand.

"No!" Garnet snapped back. "I'm not loosing them!" the way she said it, I'm not loosing them. Like they used to be one of us. Like they all used to be by her side, by Rose Quartz, fighting Homeworld, together. I was never told where all these corruptions came from... were they all from the war? And those three... five... were the last ones standing? Dodged the Diamond's attack and now fight all their friends.

It distracted me, and I lost my guard for a second. I didn't realize a corruption was coming after me, it jumped on my back, and bit my arm. Someone shouted my name, killing the corruption, not realizing where her gem was. But Lapis either didn't realize what she did, or didn't care, she helped me to my feet while using water to splash the corruptions away, but they were stronger. The water fell into the sand, making it hard for Lapis to control the water again. She put her hand to the buckets, but all the water was gone.

Steven ran to us, forming a bubble around us, keeping us safe until we caught up.

"Are you okay?" Lapis asked. I looked at her, trying to avoid her eyes because every time I looked at them I felt a feeling I couldn't understand... yet.

"I'm okay," I said, rubbing my arm. "Why are we fighting them exactly? They aren't in anyone's way."

Nobody answered. Not to be rude, but because nobody knew why. It was just something they've always done, and it was a reaction to just fight when they saw one. I pulled my knees to my chest, watching the others fight. I thought, what if White Diamonds came and fought us for some unknown reason? What if they suddenly hated Pink Diamond and wanted to shatter her? Would we even be able to fight them?

Suddenly a loud crash came from the side of me, I looked over and saw Bismuth, knocking on the bubble. "What are you three doing in there? Is someone hurt?"

I forgot about the terrible pain in my arm. I've never really fought before, Pearl was the worse with that, she really treated me like a Diamond when it came with me being in 'danger.'

She noticed my arm, and told Steven to put the bubble away. He slowly did, unsure of what Bismuth was doing. "You're hurt?" she said, punching a corruption in the face, letting it's gem softly hit the ground. "You're injured? You feel pain? So what? We're fighting! Everyone gets hurt, everyone poofs, but we all reform! We all get better! If we never got back on our feet, then we'd be in the Diamond's prison right now! Or worse, shattered!" she went on, a speech that was a little too long, but powerful. I still felt pain, but managed to keep fighting. My arm, it hurt, like if I continued swinging it might pop off. Bismuth encouraged me in the background. "Go on! Keep going!"

I wanted to, I really did. And I did. I dropped my mace, my mind so blank I didn't even hear it hit the sand. I ignored all the corruptions, running around, they seemed... off. I forgot the pain in my arm, because it wasn't the reason I stopped fighting. I wanted to save her, I wanted to run to her and shatter that corruption. I wanted to throw her in Rose's fountain but... the fountain doesn't heal humans.

Present...

I didn't want to shape shift, so I just wore a dress Sour Cream's mother gave me. She knew I was new here, to life. We talked a few months ago, and we seemed almost the same. Vidalia and Amethyst were best friends, and still were, she talked about what they did. Fun things, like ruin their hair, accidently burning it off, and causing trouble around town. But today, she felt my pain. She just looked into my eyes and it was like she could feel what I was, which was usually the other way around. She just reached into her closet and handed me a long black dress. "You can just lay your clothes on the bed."

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I've never worn anything but my suit that I was made with. It was just a simple black dress, no sleeves and reached to my mid thigh. I walked out of the bathroom and down the stairs, entering the car parked outside.

"Where are we going?" I said in a low voice.

"To Connie's," Greg answered softly.

I nodded and crawled in the car, waiting for Pearl and Lapis. Lapis sat awfully close to me, out legs brushing together whenever the car turned right. I didn't mind, I never did, it just concerned me. When we got there, it wasn't anything like I imagined, it was very... quiet. I was never called quiet. I tried talking to some, but they always sadly ended it. I knew talking to Steven wasn't an option, I didn't even know where he was. I just stayed with the one gem that actually didn't mind me talking, Lapis. we sat away from the crowd of depressed people.

"How long have you known her?" I finally asked.

"Ever since Steven introduced me to her," Lapis said in a higher pitched voice. Odd, when she talks to someone else, it's lower. "So like, over two years?"

I nodded, taking a sip of my favorite drink, water, the only thing I consume. "She was a sword fighter..." I said that, even though I already knew she knew. "Why?"

"I heard she hid it at first from her parents," Lapis said, slightly whispering. "Pearl was teaching her, but then Blue Diamond broke her original sword, so Bismuth made her a new one."

"Oh?" I said, taking another sip of my water. "Connie was a very nice, wonderful girl. Don't tell anyone, but when Stevonnie was around, all I felt was..." I leaned in closer so I was just inches from her face. "Love," I leaned back. "And I don't think either of them realized that..."

"That were a love fusion?" Lapis said, a little too loudly. "Like... Garnet," and blushed a little, then it faded. "And now Connie..." she grabbed my glass, and rubbed the sides. I knew what she was thinking.

"Purple Diamond," Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran walked to me, placing one hand on the table we were sitting at. "You were one of Connie's friends?"

I nodded, avoiding her eyes. I couldn't feel how much sorrow must be inside of her.

"Connie told me a lot about you," Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran began, taking a seat near me. "She told me you're a Diamond. That's like... a big thing?" she seemed to be trying to distract herself from everybody else. All that sorrow for one mother, it must be a lot. "How are you wrong? I see nothing wrong."

I forced a smile, but it kinda felt real. "I'm too small, and I'm supposed to be red, and my gem is in the wrong spot. So, in White Diamond's eyes... a lot."

Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran frowned, then placed a hand on my shoulder. "Well, I see nothing wrong. And Connie didn't either. She told me you looked better than the other Diamonds," she smiled a little bit, holding her head up with her fist to her cheek. "I wanna show you something, in Connie's room, do you mind?"

I nodded and I followed Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran upstairs, the sound of silence fading with more silence. We walked down the hallway and Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran opened a door, and took a long look before stepping inside. "Can was artist. Did you know that?"

"I didn't Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran," I said, looking around. There were framed photos of her drawings, some of the Crystal Gems, most of them of Pearl. There was a pinkish bed in the corner of the room, near a closet door. A white carpet, and a white dresser to match. A small stack of papers on the dresser, all of her artwork. There was a desk with notebooks and binders, all of Connie's school supplies placed neatly on the desk. Her math homework still on the middle of the desk. I knew it wouldn't be moved anytime soon.

"Here," Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran said. I turned around, staring at a large painting on a canvas. It was me... with Black Pearl and Red Pearl. I will never forget that moment. Black Pearl played with my hair, ruining it, making me mad. I remember Red Pearl talking to Connie, and she laughed at my reaction. I smiled.

"I remember that..." I repeated it in my head over and over. The painting was based on my first mission, well, not really a mission. It was the first time I went to a new place besides the barn and the temple. I guess Connie took heart to that moment.

"There's more," Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran said, opening a drawer. Three more paintings. I couldn't believe it... me first meeting Lapis Lazuli, the daze in her eyes... and-

"Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran? Are you up there?" a voice called.

"Yes. I'll be right there," Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran said, walking towards the door, then turned to me. "You can call me Priyanka."

I nodded. I realized I keep doing that. Priyanka smiled and walked out of the room, and down the stairs. I remained in the room, holding Connie's paintings of me.

I stayed in the back, I couldn't watch. I couldn't listen to the cries anymore. I walked outside, it was raining, downpouring.

I wish it was me.