Sunday 'Sunny' Santos

With my heart rate finally returned to a steady thud and my body scrubbed a painfully raw red, I slip into the oversized terry-cloth robe Verity had fetched from the wardrobe before excusing herself for the night.. I'm sure that playing nice has taken a toll on the woman and she'd exhausted all of her nurturing nature for the day..

After being fussed over so ferociously, I had been somewhat relieved for the solitude.. Or I was at first.. But after just a few silent minutes alone, I began to miss her distracting chatter and protective presence..

It is when I am alone that I can't escape the memory of Javier's cruel hands wrapped around my throat, the icy sting of cold tile on my bare skin and malicious hazel flames burning with hatred.. The man I had devoted myself to has now become the monster who haunts my waking nightmares, and there is nothing left to chase away the fear of knowing just how worthless I was to him..

I was and have always been nothing.. Not to my father, the man who abandoned me in a foreign country at fifteen, leaving me to navigate the meanest of streets alone.. Not to Javier, who would use me to scam himself into circles in which he didn't belong..
Not the Johns I'd been sold to, who couldn't even be bothered to ask me my name..
And not the other girls Javier would collect, who only ever saw me as competition, cutting into their take..

Nobody has shown me a shred of compassion, except for the one person who I had least expected to have any heart at all..

A ruthless, and unreasonably handsome, Bratva Loan Shark..

Knowing that something is dangerous and insane doesn't actually make it any easier to explain or resist, and neither does the unexpected spark of heat that flickers between Max and I.. But the way I feel around the brooding loan shark is unlike anything I've ever experienced.. The way he looks at me, with those all knowing, penetrative crystal orbs, it shakes my sanity and drives me closer to the danger..

I know he is a bad man..
Yet I can't bring myself to condemn him..

Standing upon cold and slippery wet tile, I close my eyes to take a deep, restorative breath.. Praying silently that there is a chance that he might forgive me..

Jerking open the bathroom door, dim lamplight greets my bleary, adjusting eyes, meanwhile across the room Max sets down his cell to sit up a little straighter in the high backed leather armchair.. Paco lays curled up into a content ball by his boots, lifting his head only slightly to watch as I enter the room..

With long sleeves cuffed and his flexing tattooed forearms on display, my gaze lingers upon the prominent veins that sprawl across Max's inky flesh.. Twisting tattoos wrap both his wrists and disappear beneath expensive black fabric.. I feel all rational arguments slip from my mind, lost in awe of his rugged appearance..

It's impossible to think clearly when he is in the room..

"Hola.." I squeak pathetically, my bare toes curling against the polished hardwood as I step into the expansive master suite..

"Hey-" He rasps in a low gravely whisper, as if I might spook at the sound of his voice..

"You stayed.." Is all I can manage as I force a brave smile, using all my might to prove that I am strong.. But on the inside, I feel like a fraud, nothing but weak and tired.. And I am sure Max can see straight through my unconvincing facade..

"Of course.." Max nods rigidly, an unreadable and stoic expression etched upon his stern features.. "I wanted to make s-sure you were-" His sentence trails off tentatively as he realises that there are no words of comfort powerful enough to save me from the unspeakable truth.. Instead he selects a safer choice of phrase.. "Comfortable.."

He tries to spare my dignity, but I know that he knows what Javier did.. They all know, and the humiliation of it is enough to make me want to puke.. It is a sickening sympathy that only compounds with each apologetic look and every second of awkward silence..

Oh god.. He probably thinks I am the world's most deceitful whore.. He probably thinks I called Javier to the casino tonight and that I was trying to run away again.. He probably thinks all of this was my fault!

Oh god.. Does he think that?

Over the years I have learned all too well the things that men like and more importantly, what they don't like.. And they certainly don't like it when women embarrass them in their place of business..

That is exactly what I had done to Max.. I had ruined everybody's night and caused a scene, something Javier would have punished me for in the most brutal of ways, an inevitability I had come to accept.. Nervously, I chew on my bottom lip, trying my best to formulate an explanation for the inexplicable.. "You must be so angry at me-"

"Angry?" Max scowls in question, his captivating crystalline eyes darkening to icy depths.. His perfect Grecian nose crinkles in displeasure, so that the tiny ink crucifix beneath his right eye rumples in kind..

A pang of fear fractures in my chest, sprawling out in web-like cracks that splinter through my system, causing my knees to wobble weakly and my breath to shorten.. Panicked word-vomit spews from my mouth as I instinctively try to save myself a beating by begging for mercy before the punishment begins.. "I'm just so sorry about tonight, Señor, it all just happened so fast- I swear I didn't mean to embarrass you-"

"I'm not embarrassed!" Max growls roughly, thick swelling biceps strain against the cotton of his crisp black button down as he pushes up from the chair, offended, as though I'd accused him of a heinous act..

Broad, square shoulders straighten and I take a stumbling step back with a peep, still dumbstruck by how tall and overshadowing he is.. "Oh.." He is quite a great deal bigger than Javier and I can't help my gaze from flitting worriedly to the size of his hands.. Hands that could snap me like a twig..

My throat tightens and as my anxiety rises, so does Paco.. The hound circles around behind me, nuzzling his nose into my hand where it hangs at my side, offering me his quiet strength and support..

"I am- ah- ashamed, Zayka.." The loan shark's head hangs forward in a swish of jet-black hair and his proud shoulders sag.. "Ashamed I let this happen-'

Reaching for consoling words that might subdue his suffering, I find only weak words of comfort.. "This isn't your fault, Max-"

"Bunny, ss-stop.." He winces, gritting his teeth to stave off a soft stammer.. "I am the one who owes you an apology... It never should've happened.." He runs an exhausted hand back through his thick, raven fade with a sigh.. "I ss-should never have brought you here.." Regret rolls off his shoulders as they sag in doleful defeat..

"So that's it?" I sniffle, the agony of abandonment bubbling up in my stomach like a volatile acid that threatens to burn me alive, from the inside out.. The pain is like cutting open an old wound and salting the sensitive flesh.. "I thought you said you needed me?"

"I-I do.." He concedes, folding his hands into his pockets with contrition.. Twin Arctic flames hold me prisoner in their stare, liquefying ever so slightly as he takes a testing step towards me.. "But I don't expect you to ff-forgive me.. And I don't expect you to stay.. I can't hold you to Navarro's m-mistakes.. This isn't your debt to pay.. And it was ss-selfish of me to ask it of you.."

"But what if I want to stay?" I blink up at him with pleading eyes, needing him to see the truth in my pain.. After everything that has happened to me over the past few days, I am weathered and weary.. The last of my spirit is now relying on my last hope.. Him.. "What if I need you too, Max? You- Verity and Luka- you're all I have in this city.. Where else am I supposed to go?"

"Home? Oaxaca?" He has offers softly and my heartstrings tug a little tighter that he remembers.. "I could make the arrangements-"

"You want me to leave?" Hot tears well in my eyes and the sting of rejection threatens my pride, and I fiercely try to fight them both back..

"No.." He rebuts quickly, carefully reaching out to brush a warm, silvery tear from my cheek with the calloused pad of his thumb.. "That's not what I want.. But I understand if that's what you need.."

"Oh.." I shiver at the softness of his touch and the sudden movement is mistakenly perceived as a flinch, denoted by the fact that Max draws his hand away with an apologetic grimace..

Shrugging off the electric tension, I shake my head to rattle away the strange creeping sensation of fever that flushes through me.. "I just can't go back to Oaxaca like this.. Broke and covered in bruises.. I don't have a dollar to my name, I don't have a job- I don't have anything.. I can't burden my Abuela like that.."

"You aren't a burden, Zayka.." Max states with a calm yet firm certainty to his delivery..

"I promise I wouldn't be... If you let me stay.." I wring my hands together, anxious to have his reply, yet dreading it all at once.. "I know I've caused you nothing but trouble and you have no reason to trust me.. But Max, I want to help you however I can.. I want that other life you talked about.. The better one.."

"It's not that simple anymore-" Clearly conflicted, Max paces the floor like an agitated panther.. "Little Bunny, I am Bratva.. There are rules-"

"Then I will be on my best behaviour.." I lift my hand to my heart, swearing an invisible oath..

Tearing his gaze from mine with a sigh he slumps down to sit at the foot of the bed, and once again, Paco trots across to curl up sleepily at his feet.. "It's not you."

"What then?" I cock my head, tiptoeing closer to carefully sit beside Max on the plush mattress, leaving more than enough room for Jesus between us..

"Navarro.." He explains gruffly, his square jaw ticking with a quiet and intense ire.. "What he did- if I don't make an example of him, the Brotherhood will think I'm weak, word'll spread that I wasn't able to protect my family and soon we'll all be in danger.."

Verity had expressed the same sentiment several times over, but now, seeing the conflict that etches itself into his furrowed brow, I can't help but feel compelled to see things through fresher eyes..

Verity was right..
Javier's crime can not go unpunished..
Not if it means others will be at risk because of it..

Pulled by a magnetic force, my fingers creep across the silky bed sheets and my dainty hand settles over his in reassurance, finding comfort in his warmth.. "I understand, Max.."

His muscular frame tenses at the contact.. Slow skin slides against my own as he turns his hand over and the pad of his thumb gently brushes over the backs of my knuckles, his touch lingering on my ring finger.. "If I marry you now, My Bunny- You won't be safe.. At least not until-"

"Until Javier is dead?" I finish for him, finally understanding everything Verity had been trying to tell me earlier..

To survive in Max's world, he needs to be tough..
And now, so do I..

Max nods grimly.. "Yes.."

"Does that mean you haven't--?" My breath halts in disbelief as I peer at the stony-faced gangster, unprepared for his answer..

"I promised that I wouldn't hurt you, Zayka.." His steely gaze softens on me, the sternness melting away to reveal an earnest shine.. "And I meant it.."

"I believe you.." The smile on my lips feels sweet and genuine and I can't remember the last time I felt this free..

I don't think I ever have..

Taking a deep breath, I make the tough decision to choose myself for the first time in my life..

I had made Javier a priority, time and time again, and where had that gotten me?

Beaten, broken and abused on the bathroom floor..

Never again..

A newfound taste of vengeance sours in the back of my throat and my soul stirs with a hatred that I have never known.. If I really want to be a part of this family, then I have to do whatever it takes to protect them.. All of them..

And I have to start protecting myself..

The dam of resentment I had built over years of torture and torment finally bursts and it is a liberation in technicolor..

Why shouldn't Javier die?
Why should Max and his siblings pay for Javi's greed?
And Why should I pay for his crimes?

Suddenly, I can't think of a single redeeming quality in the man.. All I can remember are the bad times.. Bending myself to fit his will, obeying his every command and subjugating my body to his desires..

Try as I might, I can't keep a wobble of uncertainty from cracking my voice.. But even still, I mean the words as I say them.. "Kill him."

Justice is an eye for an eye afterall, isn't it?

I'm betting that's what Verity would say..

Max's eyes narrow in suspicion, sharpening to glacial daggers that cut into me with scrutiny.. "Be careful what you wish for, Zayka.."

"I wish he was dead, Max.." I hold his stare.. Although my heart beat thunders in my ears and throbs in my chest, I refuse to look away or cower from my future.. "That's the truth.."

I will prove to him I am tough enough..
And I will prove it to myself..

Pulling his hand from mine and rising to his feet, he clears his throat, ending the discussion with a fast turn of subject.. "You've been through a lot, Little Bunny, why don't you try to get some rest.."

I nod, sensing there is little point trying to persuade him any further.. "Okay.."

He glances back towards the door.. "I think Verity has taken your room.. You can sleep in here tonight; or I can wake her-"

"No, don't do that!" I quickly jump up, unprepared to face another minute of Verity's special brand of tough-love.. "I mean- let her sleep, I don't mind.. This is- perfect.."

"Goodnight, Sunday.." The way he draws out the S of my name is warm to my ears, holding it in his mouth so that a soft hiss slides from the groove of his tongue..

"Goodnight, Max.." I whisper, watching as he turns away to take his leave.. But then, to my confusion, he stops at the leather armchair, sinking back down into it..

"Umm-" I hesitate beside the bed, clinging to the bath robe that covers the thin cotton men's t-shirt that is hidden underneath.. "What are you doing?"

"You have a concussion and you refuse to see a doctor-" Settling back to make himself comfortable, Max folds his arms behind his head and stretches out his long legs to cross them at the ankle.. Closing his eyes, he hums tiredly.. "So I'm not going anywhere.."

"Oh.." I mumble, quickly dropping my robe to the floor before pulling back the sheets and hurriedly crawling into the softest downy comfort.. Snuggling in, I lay my head on the pillow and feel the weight of sleep pulling me under almost immediately.. "Max?" I sigh sleepily..

"Mmh?" He hums softly..

"Why did you really loan Javier all that money? You knew he couldn't pay.. Sooner or later, we were always going to end up here.." I always knew it would be inevitable that Javier would get caught and that his schemes and scams would be his downfall.. But for the life of me I still can't understand why a guy like Max would allow himself to be swindled, just for me.. And I fear that any moment he will figure that out and realise I am not half as valuable as he seems to believe..

"I- guess-" I listen to the steady flow of his breath, lulling and calm as he pauses to consider his words.. "When I saw you- I just- I knew.."

"Knew what?"

"That you're priceless, Zayka.."

.....

A note from the author..

Hi besties!

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Much love,
Leela x