A Dream

"And the saddest thing about my regret- I can't forgive me and you can't forget"       - Lang Leav

Mariana's POV

"Where have you been?" I asked, standing at the top of the stairs
Alfie glanced up at me as he took his coat off
"You know where I've been" he smiled
"But it took you so long" I drawled out, untying my dressing gown.

When he finally glanced up at me again his movements stopped
Eyes raking down my body as I stood waiting in my bridal lingerie
"Dove" he said simply
"Mhm?" I asked.

"You look..."
"What?" I teased
"Fucking gorgeous" he said
"Well I'll be up here, looking gorgeous in bed, you coming?" I asked, slowly backing away

Before I heard his rapid steps up the stairs, gaining a laugh from me as he grabbed me from behind before I could get to our room.

•

"Alfie" I chuckled, as he kissed my neck, quickly undoing his shirt buttons and pulling it off
"Slow down" I smiled
"No, not when you look like that" he said, one hand grabbing my throat softly and the other sliding down my body, over my breasts and down my stomach, pulling my panties off roughly.

"You're my wife now, only appropriate I treat you as such" he said, connecting out lips
"By fucking me?" I chuckled against him
He looked at me for a moment, before flipping me over quickly, dragging my hips up to meet his and pulling my face up to talk in my ear
"Yeah dove, by fucking you, hard" he said

The sound of his belt came next, before ringed fingers grabbed my cheeks hard, needing my ass in his hands
"Alfie" I breathed out
"Mm?" He hummed expectantly. Pulling my bra off

I was at a loss for words
I didn't know what to say, what to do
I was completely wrapped up in this man
This man I loved with all my heart, who loves me. Who takes care of me
My husband...

•

"Ah... Alfie... harder, harder... oh fuck" I let out, grabbing the headboard behind him
He groaned, hands tightly grasping my hips as he bounced me up and down on top of him, his mouth devouring my chest
I was nothing but a moaning mess

At his complete mercy
"Alfie" I moaned, out of breath
He didn't let up, in pace or strength
Before I came hard, grasping his hair in one hand whilst the other gripped the headboard for dear life

"Fuck" he groaned, his head falling against my shoulder as he came.
We sat there for a while, heads eventually seeking each other's, leaning our foreheads together. As one.

Husband and wife
My husband

"I love you" I said, trying to catch my breath
He chuckled
"I love you too darling" he said, I smiled at him, ready to lie down but he stopped me, one hand gently holding my face as the other rested at my hip

I looked at him expectantly
"I really do love you dove" He said seriously
"I know" I smiled, what point was he trying to make?

"I know I might not have long left..." he went on, causing my gaze to fall into my lap
"But I want you to remember that. Always. That I love you, unconditionally. No matter what" he said
"Good" I nodded, looking up at him
"What's the matter?" I asked, looking into his eyes

Something was wrong
He was never this sappy
"Alfie?" I asked
"Nothing, nothings wrong, I love you alright? That's it" he said

"Are you sure?" I asked
He nodded, offering me a smile
"Course, come here" he said, pulling me in for a kiss
"You seem like... like you're not telling me something? Has something gone wrong? Are you alright? Is it the business or... or the cancer?" I asked hesitantly

"It's nothing, you're just... I never thought I would ever meet someone like you, someone who made all of it seem... pointless" he said
"I'm sorry?" I chuckled
"I mean... all the killing, the blood, killing boys in their prime and taking and taking and taking, you and Carter just make it seem so fucking pointless, because all I want now is..."

"What?" I asked
He sighed
"Is a fucking a break. Rest. Just you and me, and our little boy, anywhere, anywhere but this shit heap, but London, somewhere peaceful" he said
"Alfie Solomons wants to retire?" I asked
"Not retire... maybe retire. I don't know dove, I just want us to get away from it. To get just one day of fucking peace together" he said

"And we will, as soon as this Vendetta is taken care of it's just you, me and Carter. We can go anywhere you want" I smiled
It was a nice dream
To get away
To run away from all the problems and fear
Deep down though, I knew I had been doing that my whole life. Running.

"I saw a house. In Margate" he said
"A house? When did you go and see a house? You want to move?" I asked
"Why not? We don't need to be here, we don't need to be in London constantly, we can just... be at peace there eh? Together" he suggested

I smiled
What a dream indeed
"Well, how about we finish this business first before we go spending all our riches on dreams in Margate" I laughed
"It's not a dream" he said, looking at me seriously
"Even so, it's one we can't afford to think about right now" I said.

We had only just gotten married
We were still hiding from the Changretta's, we had a few things to take care of before we talked about uprooting our entire life to Margate.

"Just think about it Dove yeah?" He said
"Alright" I smiled, kissing him softly
"Good" he nodded to himself, worrying me slightly.

Why was he so keen to move?
Had cancer scared him that much into rethinking our entire life?

•

"Are you sure you don't want to stay?" I asked
He shook his head, leaving Goliath sat mumbling prayers to himself as he took me out into the corridor
Today was an important day, not just for Bonnie but for the business
If Bonnie managed to win, which was a very very fine chance, it would open no end of doors for the lad.

And it would boost our reputation as well as morale
The peakys all seemed to buzz around today
Gearing for a fight
Even Polly had dressed up.
"None of your lot like me and I don't like to watch the fight Dove, besides, I've got you here to make sure everything runs smoothly ain't I?" He smiled, hands on my hips.

"I suppose" I smiled
"And you will? Sit and make sure everything runs smooth yeah? You sit and you watch the match for me?" He asked, I nodded confused
"Of course" I chuckled, before two men walked by us, looking at Alfie before heading into Goliath's room.

"Who are they?" I asked
"My men for the day" he said
"Oh, I don't recognise either of them" I said.
Normally Alfie kept a select few around him during times like these.

"Yeah well, they're only guarding that big fucker in there ain't they" he brushed off
"Alfie" I said
"Yes?"
"Stay" I said, I didn't want him to go and I certainly didn't want to be left alone with Tommy ordering everyone about today.

"Nah dove it's not my scene, I'll see you at home yeah? Besides I already know that idiot will win" he said, nodding to Goliaths door
"Maybe the gypsy boy will surprise you" I said
"Big wins dove. Every time" he said simply
"Okay, whatever you say" I said, turning to walk away.

But he pulled me back, grasping both sides of my neck and crashing a bruising kiss onto me
I braced my hands against his chest, kissing him back
"What was that for?" I asked, smiling
"Because I love you" he said

"I love you too" I said.

•

Once I left Alfie, I was greeted with Polly, Lizzie and Linda walking down the stairs, avoiding the buzzing crowd as they all found their seats.

Whilst Tommy stood at the back of the room, looking on at everyone as if they were ants through his looking glass
Ants rushing around and finding their place
His place
Bending to his control under his gaze

"Nervous?" I asked, standing beside him
"Nothing to be nervous about" he said
"Are you sure? Bonnie is a very... small lad" I said
"And Goliath is a very slow lad" he said
"Tommy-"
"Why don't you sit down? Enjoy the fight" he suggested, eyes never leaving the ants.

"You are not joining us?" I asked
"Soon. I have to speak to your husband first" he said.
"About?" I asked
"Business" he said
"Business that doesn't involve me" I stated
"You're a smart woman Mar" he said

"Go easy on him Tommy, he's... sentimental at the moment" I said
"Your husbands sentiment is not my concern Mar" he said
"Right" I said simply, leaving him to take my seat.

I sat beside Arthur, as there was no one else around us
"Not sitting with the baker?" He asked
"Arthur" I said, only receiving a pointed look
"He's not here, he's not staying anyway, besides, I thought I'd sit with you as you're such enticing company, maybe I was wrong" I said, standing up, only to be pulled back down by him.

"Stop it, I don't accept your... choice in men. Frankly I never have" he said, sparing Tommy a fleeting glance
"Arth-"
"But you. You'll always be my sister Mar, no matter what, so sit. Watch a good old fashioned fight with your brother huh?" He suggested, smiling as he threw an arm round me.

"Fine, I'm going to grab the women though, they've taken enough time to powder their noses" I said
"Make sure my Linda hasn't powdered her nose too much eh?" He asked
I nodded
"Sure Arthur" I said, walking away.

I'd rather swell her nose.

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