The beginning

"An eye for an eye, I don't fucking care if you go blind"

Mariana's POV

There he sat. Silently
Alone
Staring at the wall ahead of him, hands clasped together, resting on his knees
One knee that bobbed up and down continuously

He was nervous. Impatient.

"Well. He lost" I said simply, dropping my bag to the floor and shrugging my coat off as Alfie looked my way
He didn't move, didn't stand.
Just stared
I scoffed

"Surprised?" I asked
"I..."
"Surprised he lost? Surprised I'm alive?" I asked
"What are you talking about? What happened to your head?" He asked worriedly as I moved closed, sitting in the armchair opposite him.

Exhausted.

"Just go" I said simply
"What?" He asked
"Go. I feel sick even looking at you" I said, looking at the fire instead.

"Mar-"
"You're not supposed to be here" I said, looking at him
"That's what he said" I went on
"Who?" He asked
"The man you snuck into the fight, to kill my family" I said bluntly.

"They're not your family" he said
"Yes, they are... they were" I said
"Were?"
"Well... hard to call yourself family when they think you're a traitor, when you married the man who helped our enemy. When Arthur lies dead on a slab" I said.

He looked up, seemingly shocked
"Oh, surprised again? What did you think would happen Alfie? That you would sneak some men in and no one would die? I'm guessing you wanted them to die so why are you shocked?" I chuckled dryly

Why was he honestly surprised that his actions had the desired consequences
Arthur was fine. But he didn't know that.
He didn't need to know that
Right now, he needed to know the damage he'd caused.

"Arthur's dead" he said
"Mm, me too. Almost" I said. My head was still throbbing from the pain.
"I told you to stay put, to watch the fight" he said
"And I told you I loved you, that I would commit to you for the rest of our lives. And then you helped that... that fucking vile monster kill my brother" I said.

"He isn't your brother" he said weakly
"He is! They are my family whether you liked it or not! You knew that! You knew that from day fucking one!" I shouted, standing up.

He looked up at me, pain in his eyes and no words for his actions.
"Why?" I asked calmly, sitting back down.

"Why" he repeated. I waited.

"I'm tired Mariana" he said.
"What?" I asked
"I'm tired. You're tired. I see it every day when you wake up to more shit from them. Every time Tommy drags you into something more dangerous than the last time" he said
I scoffed
"Tommy. Tommy Tommy Tommy" I chuckled
"Get out" I said again

"They're not good for you" he said
"You're not good for me!" I snapped
"You're my husband! Not them! You're the one that's supposed to support me, not make decisions for me, not control every aspect of my life like every body else always has! You..." I faltered, dropping my head into my hands. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

How could he do this to me? To our family?

"I want you to leave" I said
"No, I want to-"
"I don't care, it's not about you, it's not about what you want, it's not about what you want! It's about trust and it's about love and right now I have neither for you, I want you to leave, I don't want to see you" I said.

"Mar-"
"Tommy will be back soon, and if you're still here, he'll put a bullet in your head" I warned
"You care" he said simply, standing up
"I care. God knows why" I said.

He came closer, brushing his ringed hand across my cheek
"Go" I said, closing my eyes
"I'll be in Margate. You'll come see me?" He asked, seemingly restraining himself from opening up.

"Just go" I said, looking away.

It was silent for a moment, as he walked towards the door, grabbing his cane.
"Can I see Carter, before I go?" He asked
"No" I said immediately
"I don't trust you, at all, I don't want to be around you let alone our son" I said.

He nodded, hesitating in the doorway
"I love you, that's the only reason I did any of this" he said.
I said nothing, trying my hardest not to break down in front of him.

A moment later the door closed. And the tears flooded from my eyes, I collapsed in the chair, unable to take it anymore
I could never be happy.
Never

What did I do? What did I ever do for all of this?

•

Hours and hours later. And it was the early hours of the morning
And I woke up in the chair, my cheeks raw and my eyes stinging, standing to turn the lights off and go to bed
Alone
No Alfie
No Carter.

"You should really lock the door if you're all alone"
I turned around, fear rushing through me
"How did yo-"
"There is a lot chaos tonight... peakys running around headless in mourning for the great Arthur Shelby" Luca interrupted me, sat at the kitchen table

I slowly sat with him, curious as to why he was here, and why he hadn't just killed me.

"You are alone, why?" He asked
"You want me to sit here and tell you how Alfie helped you? Want me to pander to your need for my submission?" I asked
He smiled
"The vendetta is won Mariana, now is the time to discuss terms" he said.

"You kept me alive" I said instead.
"I did, Mr Solomons bargained your freedom in place of theirs" he said
"And now... he runs" he chuckled.

"And you remain" he said
"I do" I said
"Surprising, you always seemed to run as a girl" he said
"Maybe I am done running, from people like you" I said.

He scoffed
"People like me?" He asked
"People like us" I corrected
"We ran in these same streets Luca. You ran all the way to America" I said
"And you ran from something unescapable. This" he said, pointing to his head

"Your mind will win above all else Mariana, so use it logically" he said
"For what?" I asked
"Sign everything over. To me. You will bury a so called brother soon. Would you like to bury a son as well?" He asked.

"May I think on it?" I asked
"Hm, everyone will receive the same choice. The only decision is whether you wish to live, or whether I take it from your cold hands" he said.

I smiled. I was so exhausted from it all.
"Who'd have thought eh? Two kids who used to share a bottle... and now you have me over a barrel" I chuckled
"No. I have the rat trapped in it's cage" he said instead.

Right. Cleaning the streets.
God fucking help them.

•

The next morning rolled around. Then the afternoon. Then by 2pm the banging on my door finally ceased
Before Polly appeared in my bedroom, arms crossed
"Get up" she said
"Leave me for a day will you?" I sighed, rolling over
"Arthur's here, they're watching the house too closely, so he can stay here for a while" she said.

"Oh can he?" I asked
"Yes" she said, walking out again.
I pulled the cover over my head, I wasn't ready for... people.

Not after yesterday.

•

An hour, an hour ago Polly had left, an hour since I dragged myself downstairs and me and Arthur sat drinking a bottle each.

Polly decided to keep Carter for another night after seeing my 'state'

"Still hurts?" I asked
Arthur looked at me, eyes narrowing
"Yes... still hurts" he said, voice straining before he took another swig.

"You're looking chipper" he said
"Yeah. Fucking ecstatic" I mumbled
"How did it go down? You and him?" He asked
"I told him to leave" I shrugged
"That's it? No shouting, screaming? Didn't smash a bottle over his head?" He asked

"No, I wanted to, I wanted to scream and fight but... I just don't have it in me anymore Arthur" I sighed
"I can see that" he said
"There's no life in your eyes anymore Mar, you look empty" he said

"You don't look much better" I said back
"No, but at least I can trust my wife" he said

"Touché... prick" I smiled, taking a swig of my own.

"I mean it Mar, are you... coping?" He asked
"No" I laughed. God no
Laughing seemed the only appropriate reaction.
How could anyone handle this?

"I just mean, are you coping normally, or are you slipping again?" He asked
"You'll know when I slip Art, believe me" I said, taking another drink
It was hard to hide it when I did slip
When it all got too much.

"Well, you're well shot of him, eventually you'll see that as a good thing" he said
"Will I?" I laughed, sitting up
"Do you know what I'm shot of Arthur? Do you have any idea how much my world has just imploded? I've lost my husband of 2 days and the father to my kids" I chuckled.

"Kids?" He asked
"Yeah, baby number two impending" I said, taking another swig
"Mar you shouldn't be drinking that if you-"

"Who cares? Who fucking cares Arthur, you know he has cancer? Fucking cancer? So if Tommy doesn't find him, he'll probably be dead soon anyway. Then I'll be a widow... as well as a fucking idiot" I said, continuing to drink.

What was the point of it anymore?

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