A Boy

"Some Children are simply born with tragedy in their blood"

Mariana's POV

He walked in. Smug
Really smug. Triumphant would be the right word
He thought he won
That he was the person to take down the great Thomas Shelby
Who stood silent and compliant.
Whilst Polly stood firm and Finn stood scared.

Like he always was.

I sat behind everyone.
Sat because I was too exhausted to stand and face him.
To carry on such a charade as if we had lost.
We had though. In my mind
No one won from this.

Luca was still that boy we grew up with. The one who used to smile. And bail his brother out of trouble.
And now that trouble was going to cost him his life
I almost didn't want to be here at all
I didn't want to see that life be taken away.

That small smiling boy without a care for anything except family.
Except drinking and playing and asking his mother for sweets
His poor mother... widowed and after today... alone.

No husband. No children.
No hope.
"Guardali" he chuckled.
'Look at them'
"All that's left of the peaky fucking blinders" he said, snapping his fingers for the paperwork.

"I've had my lawyer draw up these papers, cover every enterprise in your possession, of course, you have already lost some of those enterprises..." he said, looking at me
"But legally..." he trailed off.

"Bars... restaurants... warehouses, every fucking thing that you've taken all these years to gather together" he said.

"Every fucking thing you sold your soul to build" he said, glancing at me once more.
"You will sign them all over to my family" he went on.
There was no family left.
"Or you're gonna die... right here" he warned.

"I would've buried you all, but my mother she uh... she knows you, she said, it'll be worse for you if I let you live... and take away everything that you have" he said.
"Isn't that right?" He asked, looking at me, strolling past Tommy and looking down at me, inches from me with a glare I never gotten so close to.

"Let you live with your own fucking demons. You're own actions" he said, before he looked back at Tommy
"Your own reputation... gone" he said, walking away from me, grabbing Tommy's jacket.

"Search them" he ordered.

I sighed, pulling my gun and my knife out before anyone even reached me
"Especially don't trust this bitch" he said, ripping Polly's blouse open.
I was searched nonetheless.
Like I would be killing this man anyway.

"So, sign" he said, goading Tommy, pushing the papers to the floor. He demanded respect
He demanded to be acknowledged
To declare that he had beaten us all.

And Tommy obliged, kneeling before him
Whilst I remained in my seat
Neither of us were signing, Tommy just wanted his dramatic moment to prove he was better than Luca
So there was no need for me to move
No need for me to even be here

No need for Finn to stand here and witness Arthur inevitably revealing his presence.
"A friend of mine once said... big fucks small" Tommy began, gaining my attention, because I knew he meant Alfie.

"So I had to find someone bigger than you" he said, explaining how he had contacted Alphonse Capone. An even bigger shit storm that someone like Tommy had absolutely no business getting involved with.
"You been talking to that fat fuck?" Luca asked
"See all the blood relatives you brought with you from New York, they're all dead Mr Changretta" Tommy said.

Mr Changretta.
The personalisation gone... he wasn't a man to beat
He was a boy we lived near
A boy...
"And these men here... they work for money, for the highest bidder" he explained.
"They now have new orders" he added.
"Is that right?" He asked, realisation setting in

"Is that right?" He asked louder, turning to his men.
"And you, Mateo?" He said...
And there it was. Friend turning on friend.

A stack of money far thicker than water.
And then the fight began
A fight between two boys who just wanted to be somebody.

And somebody they were
Somebody we all were.
Some... fucking... body.

And then the bullet fired.
The bullet from Arthur Shelby's gun.

Luca Changretta
The boy with no shoes.
The older brother who protected Angel for all those years
The son.
The boy who wanted to be somebody. Somebody great
Dead.

Dead like all those others before us.
A vendetta... 'won'
A war over.

And there was no noise. No mourning for the man other than the gin that poured from a barrel over his body
Cleansing him
Drowning him.
In the gin for incurable sadness.

•

"What do you think then huh?" Arthur asked, grabbing his bag from the table
It was over. His stay. My stay.
Freedom had come to drag us back to life.
And Arthur was going home.
"It was great" I said simply.

"Fucking miserable arse" he mumbled
"You're coming to my party yeah? Celebrate my resurrection" he asked.

"I'll try" I said, busying myself with folding bedsheets at the table.
"Mar, Mar..." he said, grabbing my hands to stop me
Before he pulled me into a hug
"Get some sleep. Take a break. Then talk to him" he said, pulling me back to look at me.

"Don't go away with the fairies again alright? Otherwise I'll have to come and drag you out of it" he said
I smiled. Wanting him to go.
And once he did. I cried
I cried and cried and sat on the kitchen floor in despair.

Because how was I meant to stay strong?
How was I supposed to move on and have a baby with the man that broke my heart yet again?

•

"For the first time since me, my two kid brothers... Tommy and John. And the sister I never asked for" Arthur smiled, looking my way as he made his grand speech.
One I couldn't bare to hear
"Enlisted... we have peace" he said.

He had peace.
John had peace.
Tommy never knew the meaning of the word.
And me... I was still trying to find out what it meant.

What peace was for me.
"So, I think I'd like to make a proposal... that all of you, the Shelby company limited, insist that Tommy here take some time off" he suggested.

And I couldn't bare to hear anymore. I stood up, leaving the room
Time off?
Tommy would surely kill himself if he was left alone with his mind for too long
In the quiet
He needed chaos

He thrived from chaos
Because it kept his mind quiet.
Quiet from all the thoughts he was running from.

"Not in the party mood?" Lizzie asked, joining me in the kitchen
I said nothing.
"You know I understand... how hard it is... not wanting him around but... loving him anyway" she said.

"I hardly think what Alfie's done compares to Tommy not visiting the house he bought you" I said.
And I knew it was rude
I knew in her world, Tommy not calling round really was a first world problem to her.

But my husband was hiding in Margate from... well... me.
"Alright, come to me when you want the support" she said, moving to the door
"Lizzie..." I said, sighing
"I'm sorry alright, but trust me... Tommy always does the right thing... in their fucked up logic anyway, he'll put a ring on your finger before that baby is born" I said.

"Maybe that's the problem" she said gently, smiling
"Maybe I want a ring on my finger because he wants me as a wife. Not as a mother to his child" she said.

"Yeah well... we all get dealt a shit hand. A house and a husband, a stable life for your baby, most women would jump at the chance" I said.

"I'm not most women" she smiled
I nodded
"That you are not" I agreed.

•

"Come on" I muttered to myself, looking at the clock
3am.
Surely after the third attempt he would have woken up by now?
"Hello?" Finally

"Ollie" I said.
"Mariana? Are you alright?" He asked sleepily
"Where's Alfie?" I asked

"What? Margate I told you that" he said
"I know, where? I want to see him" I said.

After hours and hours of drinking... and crying.
And failing to sleep
I realised this wouldn't go away until I dealt with it
Until I faced him and... stopped this feeling.

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