Four Months before Miles return......

Halloween was a big deal at our school the costumes are thought out, even so,  they constantly exceeded my expectations every year. The Cinderella dresses custom made and zombie makeup professionally done, the lace on the dead wives hand crafted. I walked into school dressed in what I considered my inner Beatrice Nims.

   "You look nice," Caleb brushed my shoulder while walking past me only to end up right in front of me. I probably wouldn't have even noticed him if it weren't for our height difference that blocked the light, he was looking down and smiling at me. Caleb Whitaker.

  "Can we not discuss my costume," I secretly glanced around hoping to find someone else who was in such a depressing mood that it'd be expressed through there clothes - I didn't. Yet again, kids are still depressed when once you dress them up.

I chuckled, and found myself smiling for the first time in literal months, in response to the irony but mostly for Caleb, I had felt the crack in my face.

   He told me it was hard to ignore it, and called me beautiful despite the basic clothes and tight bun I was trying to pull off. This may or may not have been making me dizzy. His blonde hair was masking his face now and God, it was so distracting. I had completely forgotten to compliment him on his costume - the incredible hulk - his shirt was painted a nasty green and Jean shorts cut to look as if he had busted from them during transformation from human to superhero.

   "So in a completely different world, what did you actually want to be for Halloween?"

   Good question, "whatever you want me to be this Halloween," he smiled again this time his cheeks turning this pretty red that complimented the blonde, rusty hair and clear green eyes that seemed to glow despite the artificial light that filled this high schools hallway.

   "Are you quoting Sleeping at Last?"

   "Good, right? I actually remembered something worth remembering," I grinned into the crack of my locker, the locker kind of squeezing the my cheeks. The smile was good for my soul because once it broke for the second time since I woke up this morning, I could feel a pressure uplifting from my heart and ultimately leaving my body.

    He walked me to class that day, Kim greeted me at the door with a cheeky grin - the threshold into History was kind of pulling me back into the past - on the other end of the black stripe was a flood of feelings and cute texts messages. Something so small, as a what a classroom was teaching was sending me into a downward spiral at 8:30 a.m. simple things were interrupting my peace and shredding my happiness.

   "Did that just happen?" Kim sang while I made my way to my seat probably after escorting Caleb out with her eyes.

   She giggled, a school girl laugh and chanted school girl words, "you like him, you like him,"

   Kim was fully aware of my relationship with Miles and just like that, with the sound of his name, my throat began to tighten in a classroom full of air.

This sort of anxiety is confusing me: I don't know if I was just heartbroken over Miles or just sad.