JIMIN'S POV

My head was hurting but all I could think about was today evening. It was nice, pleasant. Days with him must have been this pretty because nostalgia has been wrapping around my heart all along. I feel happy with him. It's empty without him.

I was humming a song while drawing something on the snow with my fingers. I don't remember the name of the song but it has a pleasant tune. It's very soft and feels like it's a song about being in love.

When we were driving back home, he told me about how much we enjoyed the snow as kids.

Once during our exams I was so stressed, he put away our books and we spent two hours playing in the snow and having a cozy time at a cafe.

He sometimes cracked these really lame jokes but we would snort and go all the way laughing for a few minutes.

My head would hurt once in a while but he would say something nice and I would forget about it.

The days ahead of us are not going to be easy. But at least I am going to try to live without any regrets. I am going to try to be patient with  my Yoongi. His eyes are really beautiful, they are deep, but I see the pain in them. His smile is so lively, but I see how hurt he was. I wish to see only happiness in his eyes. Ever since I woke up, I felt relieved that he was beside me. I wanted to tell him that I want to be there for him too.

"Do you want ice cream?" when we were almost near our apartment he asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes!"

"Salted caramel?" he asked.

"Do we like that flavor?" I was smiling.

"It's our favorite."

"Okay."

"Sit in the car, I'll get it for us."

Our apartment looked beautiful from the outside. I turned my head and rolled down the windows to see the lake, the lights shone on it making it glitter.

"Here, I got it." I was startled when he opened the door.

"That's a whole tub, nice, we'll eat all of it."

"And I have stomach aches tomorrow. Sure." he was laughing at my silliness.

He parked our car and we walked back home. There was no sadness when we laughed together.

It was honestly a sweet, sweet night.

I freshened up before him and sat with my Journal he gave me. There was a clear pouch kept on the table that had my name written in white on it.

I took out the white marker from it and carefully wrote our initials on it. I guess it was a habit Afterall, I didn't even think before writing. My hands were shaking terribly probably because I haven't written in so long.

I was thinking about a name for my journal when Yoongi came out.

"What are we doing?" he asked, towel drying his hair.

"I am planning to make my first entry. Can you think of a name for this little buddy?"

"Lil buddy? Good to hear that after so long." he was clutching his chest, faking a hurt expression.

I shove him away with my hands because he was making me shy.

"I'll get your ice cream." he was laughing again.

He sat beside me smelling sweet and placed the ice cream on the table.

We both ate a spoonful of it thinking different things. After a while the silence got comical and we both giggled.

"This never gets old." he said pointing at the ice on the other hand I was still thinking about the name.

"Christmas lights, how about that?" I smiled when the idea settled.

"Whatever you like Jimin, eat your ice cream." he fed me.

I kept thinking about what to write with the pen between my lips and he kept watching me.

"This reminds me of the days when you have exams and I don't. You used to study so much and I had to feed you. And then before my exams I had these terrible migraines and when I couldn't stand the screen anymore you read my material out for me."

"What do we study?" I asked.

"You are a Liberal Arts major and I am an Architecture and Music Major. Funny thing is that we both have Math and you are an absolute genius at that."

"Math can be interesting." I say.

"That's exactly what you said when we got into college."

"Do you like what you are studying?"

"I love it, it can get stressful at times but it's something that makes me feel at peace. Math can be difficult but I am good at it with your help."

"That sounds like you. What are our subjects?"

"Yours are Art, Dance, History, Literature and Math. Mine are Music theory, instruments, Basic Physics, Math, Art, History of Arts, Literature and History. We have Math and Literature together."

"That's a lot of subjects you got there Yoongi." I was shocked. 

"I love music. I just do it for my passion."

"Mhmm, but you'll get stressed easily."

"You were there for me. You cooked for me, it was nice."

"Hmm, I can picture a place when I am thinking of college. But I don't really want to go back there. At least not right now."

"We are not going back before next summer. You do need summer classes though to catch up on all of that and I am going to be helping you with your studies."

"You shouldn't have stopped going to college." I was feeling guilty.

"Look at me. I needed some rest like you did. Honestly, this was needed. We had enough, don't ever think any of this was your fault." he was holding my face in his big palms.

"Okay." he was looking into my eyes and that made us both laugh shyly.

We kept eating our ice cream in silence while I wrote in my journal. I knew what to write and having his gaze on me while I wrote made me very happy.

He fell asleep pretty soon but I kept writing. There were tears in my eyes and my head was hurting a lot but it was nice to write. 

I read what I wrote again and again. I revisited the memory and couldn't stop the smile growing on my face. It is my first memory after all these months and I want to cherish it for a long time.

He was sleeping soundlessly beside me, his cheek pressed on his arm. I poked his cheek with a finger to wake him up. Ooh, his cheeks were so soft. I couldn't help but want to squish them so I lightly pinched them.

His pale skin looked golden under the lamp. His tired eyes were finally getting the sleep they needed.

I combed his hair with my fingers brushing them out of his eyes and then went back to pull his cheek.

"You realize you are doing that with a straight face right? It looks like you are analyzing me." he said, opening one of his eyes.

My face was burning.

"Please, tell me you weren't awake until now." I hid my face in my sweater paws.

"I woke up when you poked my cheeks. You still like my cheeks?"

"Haha. Okay. So what?" I tried to smile, fighting the furious blush.

"You haven't changed a bit, Park Jimin. Let's go and sleep." he said, holding my hands.

"Hmm."

We climbed on the bed and I crawled next to the wall, and went under the blankets. He was looking at me.

"Did I do something?"

"You always took the wall side. I liked seeing you do that."

"Mhmm, it's like my body dragged me here. The blankets are so soft." I was giggling.

"You are still a kid. By the way, you have no problem right?" I think he meant him sleeping next to me.

"Just sleep already Yoongi. You need sleep." I gave him a soft look.

"Okay. Call me if you need something." He pulled over the blankets to his chest and shifted a little further from me and lied down. It almost hurt when he did that.

"You know, you don't have to do that. I think you know I am not uncomfortable." I was just a tad bit annoyed.

"Is little Jiminie angry?" He was laughing.

"Good night, Min Yoongi." I turned my back to him and faced the wall. A part of me wished I woke up remembering everything, be it good or bad. I can't bear not remembering the wonders of being with him.

I felt him shift and come closer to me. You could say I was a little relieved at that. I like him being close to me. It felt safe.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face.