He's still crying. It's breaking my heart.  If he were awake I could comfort him, but he's not.  He's asleep and all I can do is hold on to him. I wish I knew what he was dreaming about.  I wish I could go in there and chase away all of his fears. 

Falling asleep is out of the question now, there's just no way I can relax with him being this upset.  It's pointless anyway, it's already morning.  My best option would be to try to get him to nap with me later.  I'm not sure how willing he'll be though, if he's this upset in his dreams, then how upset must he be in real life.

He starts stirring.  Thank goodness he's waking up.  I run my fingers through his hair, pushing it off of his face so that I can kiss his forehead.

"Hey there sleepyhead.  How are you feeling?" I ask him.

He sits straight up like a he's been shocked, then grabs at his head.  I suppose a hangover would cause that reaction.  I laugh to myself as I go get some aspirin and water for him to take.

"Here, take these.  You should have said that you weren't a big drinker.  You got drunk so quickly." I tell him.

"When did I drink? I don't remember doing that." He asks.

"At dinner.  I started talking about my friends and how we should get together with them, then you started chugging the wine.  You finished an entire bottle.  About a half hour later you were gone." I explain.

"Really?" He questions.

"Yes really.  Which reminds me, only one glass of wine a night from now on.  A drunk Yo is not a fun Yo.  Yo cried a lot in your sleep." I say feeling sad.

"I dreamt that I lost you.  How could I not cry?" He says softly causing me to wrap my arms around him.

"I already told you, I'm never letting you go." I tell him.

"Still, it felt so real." He whispers.

"That can happen.  You were really drunk.  You were probably in a really deep sleep." I tell him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

"I do.  I have a lot to tell you, but I don't know where to start." He says looking down.

"You can tell me anything.  You know that don't you?  I won't judge you and I will always forgive you." I tell him.

"Always?" He asks.

"Always."

"Even if I lied to you?"

"Lied because you were with someone else?" I ask.

"What? God no.  I could never be with anyone else.  I love you.  I've always loved you." He says with so much conviction.

"Then I can forgive it." I tell him honestly.

"I'm scared and I'm not ready to say anything yet." He says.

"But you're getting there right? I can wait.  When you feel safe, tell me everything.  I will listen.  And remember, my being angry or disappointed is not the same as my leaving you.  I will ultimately forgive you because I can't live without you." I tell him.

He holds onto my waist and buries his head into my chest.  Every few seconds his grasp becomes tighter.  My poor Yo.  What else can I say to him?  Until he tells me what he's hiding, I can't prove that I'm not lying.

He adjusts his head so that he's looking up at me.  His eyes are shining with tears.

"Will you kiss me?" He asks.

"You don't have to ask." I respond as I lean down and kiss him softly.

"Will you make love to me?" He says with a determined stare.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure that if this doesn't go my way, than I want this memory to hold on to." He says.

"That's not the right reason."

"It's only one of them.  I love you.  I want you.  I'm scared of losing you.  I want to experience this with you even if it's only one time.  I have so many reasons that I want to be with you.  Can't you just be OK with it?" He pleads.

"I can.  If you're sure." I relent because he looks so lost.

"I am.  I'm positive." He says.

"Alright, is there anything I need to know first?" I ask holding his hands.

"Yes.  This is my first time." He tells me.

"It's your what? What does that mean?"I ask.

"It means that no one else has ever touched this body.  You'll be the first." He explains.

Now I feel nervous.  Now, I'm no virgin but I've never been with a man so I'm not as confident as I normally would be.  However, I'm not completely unknowledgeable either.  I always picked Kit and Beam's brains about sex.  You know, just in case.

Speaking of which, maybe I should verify a few things.

"Um Yo, can you give me a few minutes?" I ask and he nods yes.

I grab my phone and run into the bathroom.  I make a conference call to my friends.

"Hey boss, you know I'm on a trip right?" Kit calls out.

"Yeah, sorry but I have an urgent matter that I need you both for." I start then blow out a quick breath before asking:

"So what's the most important thing I need to remember while having sex?" I don't have a lot of time so I jump right in.

"Ai'Pha, this isn't your first time." Beam says.

"It is with a man." I say.

"Shia! Are you serious? With Yo?" Kit asks.

"YO! You're going to have sex with Yo?" Beam screams.

"Yes and he's waiting, so what do I need to do?" I rush.

"He's waiting and you're talking to us?" Beam asks.

"Yes."

"Lube and prepping." Kit says.

"Yes, you have lube right?" Beam asks.

"Yeah I do."

"A lot of it?" Kit verifies.

"A bottle and a half." I tell them.

"OK that's good.  Now we talked about prepping right? You remember?" Beam asks.

"Kind of but I'm nervous.  What if I do it wrong?"

"Let him tell you.  Make sure to tell him to let you know what he likes and dislikes.  No matter what, it's going to feel a bit uncomfortable or hurt a little so the best you can do is stretch and relax that muscle." Kit explains.

"You'll be fine, just relax and take it slow.  You have all day so take. your. time." Beam councils.                

"Alright.  Thanks guys." I say before hanging up.

I grab the lube and condoms.  Do I need these?  He'll only ever sleep with me right? I toss the box back and walk out to him.  He's sitting where I left him looking as beautiful as ever.  He looks nervous as hell though.

"Yo, I've never been with a man before so you'll have to be completely honest with me.  If you like something tell me, if something hurts or you don't like how it feels you need to tell me that too.  Ok?" I ask.

"Yes P'Pha.  I understand." He says shakily.

"You can't be nervous, what will happen if we're both nervous?" I mutter.

"Are you nervous P'Pha?" He says taking my hands into his.

"Of course I am.  What if I do it wrong? This is so frustrating, I've never felt like this before." I admit.

"Why don't we start with kissing?" He suggests.

Kissing.  I can do that.  I lean forward and kiss his lips gently.  He pulls back and furrows his brow. He gives me a look I know very well before he pushes me down and climbs on top of me.

"If we wait for you we won't get past second base." He says before kissing me deeply.

His hands are tangled in my hair and he starts rubbing against me.  I get hard quick.  He sits up and pulls his shirt off revealing his beautifully toned torso.  His skin is still milky white but by the looks of it there's not a bit of fat to him. 

I run my hands along his chest.  I sit up and start kissing it.  I latch onto his nipple and he holds my head in place while I suck on it.  I move to the other and suckle it as well.

His gyrating hips aren't doing me any favors right now as our cocks are brushing against each other.  I'm pretty confident all of my nervous energy has left.  I so want to be naked right now. 

I remove my mouth from his nipple and I pull off my shirt.  He gasps as he looks over my body.  I run my hands down to his pants and start trying to get them undone.  He stands up removes his pants slowly.  I bite my lip as I watch his penis spring free from his boxers.

I move to the end of the bed and stretch out my arms calling him to me.  As soon as he gets close enough I pull him to me and take his leaking tool into my mouth.  The most amazing sound comes from him.  I want to hear it again so I suck a little harder.  I love the way he feels in my mouth.

I've dreamed of this moment.  Being intimate with him.  Tasting every part of him and him doing the same to me.  I can't wait to be inside of him.  I bet it's going to feel fantastic.  But for now I need to focus on the task at hand.

I feel his fingers weave into my hair and then clench into fists holding my head in place.  Then his hips starts thrusting.  Gently at first but then he starts getting into it and fucks my mouth without repentance.

I place my hands on his hips and let them creep over to his butt.  I let my fingers run along his crease every now and then pushing on this hole.  He moans whenever I do that.  He's calling my name out.  It's heavenly hearing my name ring out in his voice.

Soon he grabs my head and pushes himself all the way in and holds me in place.  He cums into my mouth and I have no choice but to swallow it.  When he stops spraying into my mouth he releases his hold and pulls back. 

He pushes me down and immediately sticks his tongue in my mouth.  He sits up long enough to get my pants off of me.  He kisses his way up my leg, my thigh, he places kisses on my cock taking the head in and sucking on it gently.  He works his way up my stomach making sure to pay attention to my nipples then he latches onto my neck.  He sucks harshly and I moan into it.  It feels so good.  Then he's back to my mouth.

He rolls us over so that I'm on top and hands me the lube.  He spreads his legs for me and the blush on his face is making it hard for me to concentrate.

I go down between his legs and run my fingers along his crease before spreading his cheeks apart.  I tentatively lick at his bud.  I watch in fascination as contracts.  I have to see that again.  I push my tongue out and feather lick at it.  Sure enough it reacts in the same manner.  I smile before I attack his hole, completely eating him out.

He's squirming above me.  Practically thrashing from side to side.  I can faintly hear his voice but I'm pretty sure my name is mixed in those moans somewhere. I pull away from his drenched hole and pour the lube onto my fingers.

Start with one.  Kit and Beam were very specific and detailed when explaining how to do this.  First go to the knuckle and move it in and out, when it loosens add the rest of the finger.  When you add two fingers you scissor your fingers to stretch the area.  Add a third finger and push in and out.  By this point he should be loosened enough for the main event.

I follow their directions to the T.  I pull my fingers out and smear more lube onto my dick.  I stroke it and push up against his waiting entrance.

"Are you ready?" I ask.

"Yes. I'm ready." He replies.

I start to push in and all of the air is forced out of my lungs.  I've only just gotten the head in.  I look down and there are tears in his eyes. 

"Yo, we can stop." I say.

"No, keep going.  I just can't believe this is finally happening." He says reassuring me.

I continue to push forward a little bit at a time.  It's slow and I feel like I'm going to lose my mind because I want this so badly.  Finally I'm all the way and I look at his face. he smiles at me then nods his head telling me that I can move.  I start to move my hips, a rocking back and forth motion.  His moans start almost immediately.  First as a whine but then into full on moaning. 

He's so tight and I feel like this might not last as long as I'd hoped.  I hadn't expected this much stimulus.  I continue my movements causing a delightful friction between us.  He grabs my hips and starts pulling them trying to dictate my movement.

"Faster." He gasps out and I comply.

I begin thrusting with force, slamming our bodies together and filling the room with the sounds of our bodies and voices.  I'm breathing heavily and every so often my eyes cloud over.  I have to refocus and every time I do, I can't believe I get to be with the man that is underneath me.

Though not as long as I would have liked, it wasn't as quick as I was afraid it would be, I push as deeply as I can into him and pulse inside of him.  He lets out a strangled moan and I look down in time to see his milk spill free.  I still my movements and look deeply into his eyes.  He's looking up at me with love in his eyes.  I lean down and kiss his lips and wrap my arms tightly around him.

"Yo, I love you so much.  I've always loved you.  Can you forgive me for being afraid back then? Can you forgive me for being weak?" I beg.

"I forgive you.  I was never angry. I just thought I was the only one in love." He says running his fingers through my hair.

"You weren't, we just never seemed to connect at the right time." I comfort.

"But now we are."

"Yes we are, and it's better than I ever imagined.  I'm glad that you came to me, even if it was with this ridiculous charade." I smile.

"You knew?"

"I knew, but I waited because I knew you would tell me when you were ready.  Plus we were married so there was no way for you to escape again." I say with a devilish grin.

**************************************************************************************************************

Alright, everybody's been saying Yo needed to come clean so here it is.  What did you think?  I know this one was super long.  Sorry about that. 
For those who may be worried, I still have some story to tell so it's not ending just yet.
Hope you're enjoying the story and thanks for reading.

- Lisa