...."did you always think of her when you made love to me...."

She asked suddenly

His eyes unable to meet hers.....

"Not always ..."he whispered .....

"Of all the nights that we had spent together ......was there a single one ....when you actually did make love to me..."she asked again...

"I don't know.....will you stop asking these questions to me."

Anger spreading inside every channel of his veins......like venom......suffocating him....

"I am sorry. ....." She says guiltily.....
"Its just that ....."she sighs .....

"I had always been curious about what you had felt that night....when you had kissed her......."she asks.....it was a genuine inquisition....

She wasn't willing to make him feel guilty....but she wanted to know.....it was this question that had messed up with her brain ..ever since that image if him kissing nandini.....was stuck in her memories.....

"You...both....seemed like you really wanted it . ......it was as if you both were in a parallel world ......with no one else....around .like you really loved her..........i couldn't feel that way ...no matter who i slept with....i tried ......a lot.....with so many men ......to replicate those moments. ...but. ...it was all meaningless....."she was lost explaining him ...about a desire. That was burnt.....and broken......and unfulfilled

About her inability to understand the meaning behind intimacy ...between two people

......she turns to him ...looking in his eyes which were shocked to witness the damage he had caused.....at the helplessness inside him.......

" rajveer ....How do you feel.to be kissed by. a person you love. ...i had always wished to know....."she asks him..softly..

Her eyes excited and watery.....both at same time...

As if her curious desire will finally be fulfilled ....

He cups her face .......to see that innocence of a newly wed bride ...he had seen on his wedding night ....those curious excited eyes.....those lips quivering by the anticipation of being touched.......for the first time.......

He steadies her face .......and pastes his lips on hers .....and she feels nothing but pure ecstasy ...the taste of his lips upon hers. ....was nothing like she had ever felt before. .......he is kissing her like he wants to melt inside her ...like she is the only one who exists, Who matters. .......like. He loves her.......madly......purely......endlessly....

Finally leaving her breathless......and heaving. .he wipes that lone tear.....escaping her closed eyes .......

both silent.for a few moments her eyes still closed.....

"now you know..."he whispers ..and she opens her eyes ...

Their moment breaks as they see jiya...standing there with a big hawww......

"Friend ne mamma KO kiss kiya"she keep s repeating ...

"Jiya...."naina calls after her. ....

As she runs out .....and he is still startled...

....

After a few moments ...jiya is sitting with them.....with puffed cheeks...
"Friend ..ne jiya ko kyu nai kiss kiya....you can't kiss mum...aap surf jiya KO kiss krenge "

"Are....baby....sorry....wo mumma Naraz thi na...is liye Mai mana raha that ...promise aaj see....jiya me alawa kisi aur ko kiss nai krunga"

He tries to pacify her
"Are...ye to zabardasti he.....mumma KO kyu nai"naina tease her....

And she puffs her cheeks eevn more
Naina laughs...
"Friend jiya ko bhi kiss karenge....par unki ek shart he..."she says..playfully on his behalf ...

"Shart"this cute munchkin pouts questioningly ....

"Aap friend ko papa bulaoge .."she pats jiya's hair....

"Kyu....."she asks..

"Jiya....ye aapke papa he...."naina...says. Seriously.....wanting her daughter to meet her father .

He looks at her in disbelief. ....but she smiles reassuringly......taking her hand in his ...and he wipes tears emerging endlessly from his eyes. ....

Jiya wipes his tears. .
"Are friend oops papa rote nai"she wipes his tears .....and he smiles...crushing her to him...and naina....

Jiya giggles ...and kisses them both.....on cheek s....saying mumma and papa.....feeling strangely happy.

They both kiss her soundly. .and chirpy laughter and giggles follow.....

That night ...jiya ..had finally met her father .....and naina had watched them contently....as if looking at a dream that had come true ..after a lot of yearning

He kept muttering....how thankful he is ....and they had kissed countless times .... Wiping each other's tears. ..

till they fell asleep so soundly ..........for the first time in all these years ...

*********
Her last wish....

....They were lying parallel to each other.......backs hurting due to spine chilling currents of cold ......holding hands through those mittens. ..

It was somewhere close to leh ...altitude making difficult to it breathe even for him ....while her lungs were barely functional...
Yet her insistance to be there was so strong ...that they were finally lying on the fragile sheets of ice . ....gazing at the starts...making his heart freeze out of extreme fear...what if she can't endure the cold .....

He had dressed her up like an eskimo before bringing her here ..

"Thank you"She whispers.....clutching his hand..
"You are crazy"he whispers back..
"Indeed i am....."she chuckles..

"Do you miss him..."she had asked ....

He had looked blankly at her....wondering who she is talking about....
"Naveen....i was told that he couldn't withstand the chilly winds at the front....i had always wondered if i could find him in places like these"

He was staring at her in pure shock.....her words making no sense......

"Why are we so attracted to the ruins...of people who no longer exist in our lives ..why can't we discard their memories like we had discarded them..... ....why cant we just erase them off ...their faces ...their smell ..the way we felt around them....."she had asked him ....with a curious longing. ...her tone withdrawn .... .....

"You....you are cold..i should have never brought you here.....this was a crazy idea..."he panicked...as her gaze fell on him...her lips bluish ......breathing shallow ....

She starts laughing loud ...at his panicked face. ..and hysterical expression....

"And you are scared that i might not make it back from here .."she laughs. ..
He is in tears. ...
"Remember i had made you promise something. .. ..that night when i agreed for taking the treatment....

He nods ...looking at her ...

"I want you to end this ......this pain. .......all these memories that haunt me......i want you to free me from all this ......."

"Naina please don't do this to me ....."he pleads her. ."hum wapas chalte he ...please....."

"You had said that you won't break your promise like you did last time....don't be guilty...you are just freeing me from inexplicable pain. .....you are doing nothing wrong"

"You decieved me.....you liar ...you can't do this to me.....i will never do what you are asking me to. .......you understand "he raised himself......and her. .along with him...rushing towards the jeep......

"Please ....i beg you. ..if you ever repent any of the things that you have done.....then you all listen to me
....please end this up...for my sake...i am tired living like a decaying peice of flesh.....all hope in me ...was dead long before. ...you all just save me from a lot of pain. .."

"Have you ever thought of jiya ...what would i tell her..what would happen to her ...without you.."

"_tell her .. That her mother was too tired to come back from naveen mamu's place......tell her that i ll never be back .....she ll learn to live with it ...slowly....she ll get used to her mother not being around ...she has her father now .........i am tired of this pain......it keeps lingering. ...... Inside me like venom......i don't want her to see me like this ..."she was helplessly begging him for her death ...

."you love me ...don't you ....wont you do this for me...wont you let me to sleep"she begs again and again
And her words kept suffocating him.....and stinging in his ears.......her begging for a relief......her cries weakening him....making him numb....crushing his will to resist. .

It was a dark moment when he decided .....and pulled that plug aside....from her oxygen cylinder.....and kept howling like mad .....for hours......as she kept gasping for breathes......

Helplessly crying and wailing at the loss of one he had loved......hopelessly cursing himself for killing her ......as she had passed out in his arms .....
But before she had closed her eyes.....she had whispered to him....
"I forgive you..."and a content smile spread on her face ......as of someone who shifts in a peaceful slumber after staying awake for an age.......

She had wished to live with him till an eternity. . ...and finally die contently in his arms one day ....
Now her eternity was smaller than his ...but she did die in his arms......her wish was fulfileld ......

While he was left alone to live with the burden of taking her life. .

It was his punishment.....that he had accepted .....he had accepted this burden. ......he believed that he deserved this suffoction ...this pain...of living with the ruins of someone...who had slipped away from his life ....

This venom...that would keep him awake for ages......this pain ..he would neevr be able to share with anyone ..it was hers......that she gave him as a present.......
He could neither demand freedom. ...nor relief ...while she had escaped .......it was his Fate...he deserved it ..

...this was the end of their. Sad story .... .he had put an end to it .. .given a closure to the incomplete tale about a girl ..whom he didn't love...........who didn't mean anything.....who was just a rebound....a distraction.....

It was selfish and deceptive and irresponsible of her.....to leave like that....to trick him like taht .....to escape from her life. . .seeking a selfish respite ...not thinking about jiya before leaving that innocent littele girl ......who she had claimed to be a mere reason for her existence ......

She was a selfish coward ..but this wasn't a story about some brave hero....whose will was uncrushable....it was sad tale of a girl ...who failed to accept pain as an inseperble part of life ......who was unable to handle the grief that had come her way......who was embittered and discontent.....with her life....to an extent that there was no way back ...

It was a story about a girl who wasn't loved back....

.
He had kept howling in a place ...where frozen and dead ruins were laughing at him ...
It was a scary place....and a dark one....but .....he deserved to be there ....and watch her die slowly.......and wonder how can that wretched thing called love ...cause so much pain......

The story doesn't end here .....
It will soon though ...in 2-3shots