Its hard to decide if suffering is inflicted or a conscious decision made by the person.....
In her case perhaps it was inflicted ...all at once

It was like she was lost in weaving fairy tales and making sand castles o mln the shore ..which had collapsed by a violent swell of ocean waves...
Washing away everything she had ever believed in...

Love ,hope ,affection,relationships.,humanity...

She had been shown in a harsh and bitter way....how the world isn't like she paints it in her mind ....how people aren't the way she presumes them to be....how people who we bestow everything upon....don't really care ...how cruel sufferings are .......as by the time they end.....they make u addicted....making the world without them feel shallow and meaningless ..

She hadn't chosen what had happened with her . ......but to look past her suffering was totally a conscious decision that she could have made.....a decision to move on ..a decision to give happiness a chance....to give her life a chance. .....but maybe His betrayal did more than just break her heart...
It had crushed her will ....her soul....in a way that a permanent discontent had spread in her .....

A feeling of betrayal as a realisation that all she had been hearing about the world ..about love...about relationships ..is a plain lie ........

She had raised jiya. .not projecting her sufferings on her....letting that innocent creature bloom. ..weaving stories around her that she had grown up listening to.....it was her innocence that had helped her breathe. ....that had blown life in her ....

But there were moments ..when she woul feel like she was raising another soul to a downfall....a fear. .that little one would at once grow to meet the same fate as hers....no matter how much she loved her.....she couldn't help feeling that her daughter deserved a less messed and toxic mother.....
She saw him after so many years...to see that he was way less damaged then her. Way less jaded. .way less grieved.....and she was glad about it.....

He could raise her kid ....in a healthy way. ...that's what she felt while placing her responsibility on him...

What he had done..how inhuman he had been ...how she suffered becuase of his cowardice. .everything seemed irrelevant.......only thing that mattered
Was that he was in a better state ....both physically and mentally.....more capable of raising her kid ...than she ever was...

Maybe that's why she trusted him enough ...to leave jiya and die in peace. ...
She wasn't actually a coward ...she was just too damaged and exhausted to carry on.....

It wasn't a resentful angry moment when she asked him to eutahnize her ....

It was a concious choice to put her sufferings to an end.....that she was able to make. ......as he was there .....it was a trust she had on him...despite of what happened that made her beg for a respite ..she couldn't have bent infront of anyone else.......she had put on a strong an emotionless facade...and closed herself beneath stone walls....

. .....but he knew what her soul was like. .......He had killed it once. ..he knew how to do it again. ..
That's why she had asked him to kill her. ......