.......... He placed her medicines on the bed side..... And smiled toothily

She got irritated at his smile and threw them away....
This happened for the fourth time..... In a row....
She had thrown the food....
Then water... Then medicines.... And now there was nothing to throw off.... So she got irritated....

While he was calmly wiping off the floor... Since half n hour....

"stop it for god sake"

"i will.... Only if you say yes..." he said firmly.... Getting back to his work..

She got irritated....

"me pehle bhi keh chuki hun..... Aur aaj bhi keh rahi hun..... Ke i won't opt for other round of chemo.... U hear that ..... Do u know what its like... My skin.... Its become scaly.... Hair.. Are falling off in bunches....the nausea..... That bloats i get.... After i have those medication....... Its like someone is smothering u with a pillow...... I don't want another round i m better off this way.... "

He got aware of her pain.... That moment...... His eyes filled with guilt...... But they cannot give up....

" its better to die..... Than to bear so much"he nodded in a complete agreement..... The next moment..... Thoughtfully looking at her... With deep eyes......

" but.... "he sat near her the next moment.....

" tell me one thing"curiously raising his eyebrows...

"is it better or worse..... Than that time.... I left you"

She was shocked and open mouthed at this audacity....

"how did u feel..... That night..... Naina...." he was looking straight in her eyes...... No glimpse of hesitation..... While she was as if she has seen a snake..... Still.....

"that night when u saw mew making love to nandini" he uttered those words.....

Like venom started gushing in her veins.....
"u freaking bastard" she shouts ...

"get out" she started sobbing......

"i will.... Only after i get to know my answer"

"what the fuck are you made of.... You jerk........ Mujhe soch kar bhi sharm aati he...... Ke mene tum jese insaan se pyaar kiya" she was screaming.....

"was it better then.... When u were alone and pregnant with jiya..... Was it less painful"

He was oblivious..... No boundaries...... Reaching the ultimate peak of his assholery......

"shut up.... Shut up..." she shouts again

"so.... I take it.... That was better than..... This pain.... Hai.na....."

"you have no idea..... You will never know what i went through...... You were a careless bastard.... Who let me alone not caring wether i live or die...... You didn't even care to drop me safely to the place u arranged for me....... Never bothered if i reached safely or ... Jumped off the cliff..... U have no idea..... What i went through.....
There were days i would stare blankly at the door.... Hoping that someone would come to help..... There were days i would stare at the ceiling fan.... Trying to figure a way to hang myself...... It was as if.... My brain couldn't figure a way to command my body..... I wasn't even aware of the life.... Budding inside me ..... Until one day jiya kicked inside my swollen belly..... You will never understand...... U will never know what its like.... To feel nothing....... I would try and try.... But even tears won't support me to vent the poison out..... "she was blankly staring at the wall......

" this pain.... Is nothing compared to what i have experienced... "she was crying hysterically.....

" if not for jiya... I would have happily ended this all up..... Far before..... But that innocent soul...... I had to live in that hell.... For her..... Just for her"she was pouring all what had been buried inside.......

He was shaken to the core......every inch of his body shivering with fury..... And guilt.......
"agar tab tum ne himmat nahi hari..... To ab kyun??? Wo bhi apni beti ko mujh jese laparwah insaan kee bharose chod kar....." he said softly.....

"tumhe kya lagta he.....tumhare bina kya hoga jiya ka...... Ek maa ke bina bada hona kesa hota he jaanta hun me.......kitni ghutan hoti he......kitni sari raateein... Akele rote hue bitai he mene...... Tum ek perfect maa ho naina...... No one can love and care for jiya like u would....... Me chahe jitani koshish kar lun..... Use wo nahi de sakta jo tum nee diya...... U think the bitterness in ur life would affect her....... Is liye tum usse door jaana chahti ho??? "he asked.....

" pata he mujhe kya lagta he.....ye sab bahane he..... Sach yeh... Hai.... Ke tum apni zimmedariyon ko peeth dikha kar bhag rahi ho...... Bina ladhe bina dat kar mukabla kare..... Us choti bacchi ke sath tum bhi aakhir wahi kar rahi ho..... Jo maine tumhare saath kiya..... "he uttered slowly......
She was about to stop breathing out of shock....
Her tongue tied up in her throat...... Her body sweating.......and shivering voilently

" infact.... To look at it..... Tum me aur mujheme..... Zyada fark kahan he.... Hum dono kayar he......."he said that.... And next moment a glass vase came flying near his head....

He dodged it...

" kya hua sach kadva laga"he mocked her. Again....

"tum mee aur mujhme bohot fark he.... Tum ne mujhe ek khilone ki tarha use kiya... U never loved mee...tum apne aap ko aur mujhe ek jesa samajh kese sakte ho" she was screaming... While throwing paper weight..... The table lamp... And god knows how many other inanimate objects in his direction....

"zyada fark nahi he.....tum bhi to jiya ko apne jeeene ka zariya bana rahi thi.... And it didn't work....... Mene bhi tumhare sath vahi kiya tha....... I wanted to feel something desperately...... So did you....... Aur ab tum bhi. Use chod kar ja rahi ho..... There is truly not much difference"

"i m not like you....... I m not a coward.... I m not a coward..." she kept shouting.....
And the table lamp.... Actually hit him on head this time.....
"owwww"

She stopped. As he howled.......
Blinking.... And innocently looking at him....

"then prove urself....... Fight for it...... Till your last breath........ Tum ye lar sakti ho..... Believe me....... I believe in you naina" he held her by her arms.....and said it.... With glittering eyes..... A lot of determination in them..........

"mujhsee nai hoga......me thak gai hun..." she started to cry..... Furiously

"aur kitna ladhna hoga.... Mujhee zindagi se........ Aur kitna seehna hoga..... Ye sab kab khatam hoga" she wept her her heart out..... As they sat sobbing in the floor....

"be brave....... You have been soo strong..... Bas kuch din aur...... Mujhe pura bharosa hai.... Tum maut ko bhi hara dogi..... For jiya..... Mujhe tumse maafi ki ummid nahi. Hai.... Me hamesha ke liye tumhari duniya se chala jaunga...... But please...... Let me help you......... Let me help you fight..... Let me help you get better "he keeps begging her............ And they keep weeping......

.......

At the dinner table....

He is serving her celery and raw vegetables...... Along with stewed chicken....
She is making all sorts of faces..... Typical food for patients on radiotherapy........ Bland..... Tasteless......

But he glares at her....... And she gulps it in......

Jiya telling them stories. About her new school

"pata he......mene games period me zorro ko ek punch mara...... Uski nose red ho gai...... Bilkul aapke sar ki tarha...." she pointed at rajveer's wounded forehead

"jiya... Bad manners.... Ap ne kyu maara use"

"wo stray puppies ko tang kar raha tha.... Recess me........and oops..... Miss ne bola he..... Kaha jiya.... Get this remark signed by mumma" she showed her school diary....... It was jiya the fighter.... Who hated when anyone troubled stray cats and puppies....... Naina had got these remarks from her school twice before.....

"lagta he maa aur beti dono voilent he........ Ek ne mera sar phoda...... Aur beti ne bechare zorro ka......." he muttered............

"ye zorro kitna funny naam he" jiya giggled.........out of nowheree

And dinner table filled with gleeful laughter......... Jiya and rajveer were laughing....... While rajveer was rubbing his forehead occasionally....... Naina started to laugh as well.......looking At his mutilated face...

Jiya stared at both of them confused.....

Wondering if her joke was that funny that they are laughing like maniac .....

Soon she got tired of their laughter . And shook her head

"dono pagal ho gaye" shwe