Konstantin Ivanov

...a few hours later...

After Katya had left my apartment, I had walked her wobbly legs downstairs and helped her into a taxi, before retuning upstairs to find a drunkenly adorable Lucky with a belly full of giggles, laying flat on her back..

Now, sprawled comfortably like a lounging kitten at my feet on the Persian rug that lines the living room floor, she entertains herself by lifting her delicate hand to swat playfully at the beams of light that fracture into prisms of primary colours as they pass through the dimpled glass of the staircase bannister..

"I can totally catch--hiccp--that rainbow!" With a chirpy coo and a happy hiccup, she paws and swipes at the air..

"Da, ov' courze you can, little Lucky leprekon.." From my place on the sofa I sit up to set my drink on the side table before I lean over her from above.. Reaching down to brush away the messy tangle of golden curls that surround her like a halo.. my knuckles graze over her ruddy flushed cheeks and a tightness constricts my chest, coiling around my body to snake through my veins..

"I'm not a leprechaun!" She giggles uncontrollably, smiling sunbeams of sweetness up at me.. "But I do have a pot of gold--hiccp--in my panties!"

"Iz that so?" I chuckle at her endearing silliness..

She is the most uplifting presence, with a bright spirit that gives me more lightheartedness than I am accustomed to feeling.. It is strangely soothing.. When I am around Lucky, I no longer feel like a harbinger of death and destruction.. Instead I feel alive..

There is nothing more vivid than the viridian light in her eyes or the vibrant glow of her smile.. Each second I spend with her breaks down any defence I had built to keep my feelings for her at bay..

I don't care what anybody thinks of the distance in years between us.. I can dismiss our differences.. I don't even give a fuck about her brother in law and his justified warnings..

Lucky is the only person who has meant anything to me since I came to live in this god forsaken hell hole and I can't give her up.. She is my first thought each morning and my last at night..

She is my hopefulness.. My what if.. My maybe..She is pure luck and in her I place my blind faith..

I was always supposed to find her..
Because she is my Avos'..

An American might call it destiny or fate.. The manifestation of what was always meant to be..

I had cared for my departed wife, it's true.. But our marriage was one of circumstances and expectations.. I had been a naive teenager when I'd gotten Arina pregnant, an accidental miracle I had never anticipated to be blessed with.. I was unprepared for the responsibility and afraid of all the mistakes to be made.. I knew nothing of family, life or love.. I knew only in my heart the fundamental teachings of right and wrong that were instilled in me by the Monks who'd taken me in from a poor street orphan and given me a place to sleep..

It had been my duty to marry Arina.. It was my job to provide for her and my son, to protect them and give them a life I never had.. And in that duty, I had failed..

Yes, I loved Arina deeply, from a part of my heart that has since been as abandoned as a Chernobyl exclusion zone.. But there was never a day when I was in love with her..

I have never felt for another the way that I love Lucky.. From the second I first saw her, to this very moment, I am devoted to her in ways that are inexplicable to me.. I love her madly, endlessly, helplessly, recklessly, against all better judgement, despite any and all risk of my own destruction..

It has been more than two years now since she was introduced to me as the young sister of a friend.. And despite my effort to maintain a distance, I am beginning to see there is no cure for my craving obsession.. There is no severing of our ties or burning of the binds that draw me to her..

I am powerless to my passion and this long felt desire to crawl out of the darkness and stand in the sunlight..

"Mmhmm! Pssst! Hey--listen--" She nods emphatically, crooking a finger to beckon me closer with a coy smile on her plump, pink lips as she whispers.. "You should go on a--hiccp--treasure hunt!"

"Perhapz I will, my pretty kiska.." I chuckle..

"Noooo! I'm being serious, Konstantin.. I want you--hiccp--so badly-- don't you want me?

"I will make with you a deal.." I smirk down at her, enjoying her liberated mouth and offer her an impossible challenge.. "If you can catch 'ze rainbow, I will fuck you.."

Of course she could never catch the beams of light that fall over her beautiful face and paint her in stripes, just as I could never take advantage of her inebriated state..

Still, she is so much fun to tease and taunt.. The eagerness with which she desires me is a heady, intoxicating buzz, far more potent than any alcohol or drug..

What I wouldn't give to make her mine..

"Oh, I'm gonna' get it!" Lucky squirms and squeals when my fingers dip beneath her coat to trace over her ticklish ribs before she grabs at my hand and begins twisting and pulling at the gilded signet rings adorning each of my fingers.. "And then--hiccp-- I'm gonna' get you! Mmmhh.. Ty skoro --uhmm-- budesh' moim, Big Bear.."

I can barely contain my grin, watching as she stacks the expensive gold rings she has stolen from me to fit loosely on her own left hand to find all of them oversized for her petite fingers. "I am already yourz, Kiska.."

When she uses that sweet tongue to speak my language, telling me that soon I will be hers, all I want is to fall on her and maul her mouth.. Her beautiful pronunciation and considered pauses tell me of all the practice she has put into learning how to communicate better with me.. All to make me feel less lonely.. Or Less alone..

She makes me feel as if I am truly worth an effort, even when I doubt my deservedness of her affection.. Though I can't credit myself entirely for her motivation since I am sure academics have never been a difficult task for Lucky..

She is brilliant beyond intelligence.. Accomplished, aware and alert to so much more than I had been at her age.. Yet her pure innocence still shines through..

Lucky smiles with a wistful breath of whimsy as she slips on the ring I had been wearing on my pinky.. Holding up her hand she wriggles her dainty fingers in my face to show me.. "Hey look! This one fits perfectly!"

"'Zen it iz yours.." I take her hand and retrieve all the others, leaving behind only a simple gold and onyx stone square cut treasure on her ring finger before kissing her knuckles..

"You mean I should keep it?" She lifts her newly nervous fingertips to her lips in thought..

"Da.. If you like.." I take a mouthful of the sweet plum liquor from the side table as Lucky considers her new jewellery..

"I love it--but--hiccp!"

"But what, Moya luybov'?"

"What does it mean?"

"Whatever you wish for it to mean, Malishka.." I fit my priceless rings back onto my fingers before leaning back comfortably on the sofa cushions.. "I have not been dictator to my decisions for some time now."

She sits up, suddenly serious he giggles evaporating into the ether.. She folds her hands over my knee to rest her head.. "I know what you did, Big Bear.. You shouldn't have done that for me.. I mean-- I didn't ask you to.."

"Ah, and what did I do?" I run my fingers back through my hair, before petting down my pockets to find my cigarettes as she flops back to the floor with a weary, drunk groan..

"You saved me from--hiccp-- him, Wren, I mean.. I hate him.. I hated him.. I'm not saying he didn't deserve it.. But you shouldn't have done it.. I don't want you to get in trouble.." She watchers my motions as I spark a match and light my cigarette..

"Da.. I know you did not azk, Moya Luybov'.. But it was not so much a choice.. He hurt you.. There iz no forgiveness for thiz crime." I take a long drag, relaxing into the sofa as I exhale a cloud of white smoke..

"You're scary when you say things like that.." She reaches up and plucks the cigarette from between my fingers, looking peaceful and pensive as she takes a tentative pull..

"I cannot apologize for who I am, Solnyshko.. I do not expect for you to forgive thiz or understand, but you cannot azk me to be something different to what I am.." She hands my back the Belomorkanal and I draw a few more breaths of smoke before stubbing it out in the ashtray..

"I would never ask you to change, Konstantin.." She twiddles the ring on her finger.. "I love you--hicc--exactly the way you are.. Darkness and all.."

"Psikh, Kiska.." I chuckle, endeared to her particular kind of crazy.. "You muzt be mad!"

"If I'm mad, then you're a fucking lunatic.." She blinks at me and I raise an impressed brow in her direction.. I enjoy the bite in her reaction to my lighthearted insinuation..

"Da.. Thiz I cannot argue.." She is so very clever.. Possibly the most intelligent woman I've encountered, her grasp on my language improving more and more each time I speak to her..

"O'course you can admit to it, you don't even care what anybody thinks about you anyway.." She hums knowingly..

"Nyet, I do not.."

"So it wouldn't bother you if I told you that Hunter is kinda mad at you because of me.."

"I am aware, Malishka, and it matterz vury little to me.." I smirk..

A slow smile pulls at her pretty lips.. "Me neither.."

"'Zen we agree.. You're brother haz bol'shoy stick stuck up hiz azz and it iz not your problem, or mine.."

"He doesn't think we should be together.." She reaches out for my hand.. "But I know it in my heart--hiccp-- we're meant to be, Konstantin.. Do you believe that?"

I can only smile and nod, longing for her prophetic words to be true.. "Da.. I believe.."

"Good.." Her hands knead at the muscles of my thighs as she shifts her weight and begins to climb from the floor to my lap, continuing to yip her adorable hiccups.. "Hiccp!" A small giggle bubbles up from her mouth.. "Sorry, I can't--hiccp--stop them!"

"I know 'ze cure for attack of ikotas.." My fingers curl around the curve of her hips to slide her closer as her palms settle against my chest..

"Ikotas? Oh--hiccp--yeah? What is it?" She smiles, leaning closer as I trace up the knots of her spine to take a gentle fistful of her hair, steering her mouth to meet with mine..

Blayt'..

My chest is ablaze in an inferno of desire and my pulse quickens as our kiss consumes all rational thought, all self control and every shred of sanity..

A sudden surge of testosterone spurs my movement as I pick her up and turn her over, tossing her down on the soft sofa cushions, kneeling over her and leaning down to ravage the life from her lungs..

"Ohmmm--" The softness of her kiss is the sweetest tenderness and she moans into my mouth as her lips part to welcome my exploring tongue.. The taste of plum and peach drowns my senses to consume me..

"You cured me.." She sighs..

"Hm.. Iz vury effective.." I smirk as her pupils expand and her iris' glow flaming green..

"Please, Konstantin--" She whines, her warm hands slipping down to the front of my pants where she begins to create a maddening friction as she strokes my swelling cock through the fabric.. "Don't stop.."

"You are so fucking impatient, Malishka.." I scold her playfully, using every ounce of willpower to tear her groping hands away from my straining, stiff cock to pin them above her head.. "Do not tempt me.. I will take from you evurything, Moya luybov'.."

"I'd give it to you-- anything you wanted.." She lifts her head and nips at my throat, encouraging me take her body and corrupt it..

"What I want is wicked and curious, Kiska.." I growl.. "You will perhapz think me a strange man.."

"I already think you're strange, Big Bear.." Her fingertips stroke encouragingly over mine, giggling through a sly teasing smirk.. "But I just can't control myself.. There's all these things I've never experienced and I want to do all of them with you.. I want my first time to be with you.."

"Do you want me, Kiska, or do you just want a man to make you cum?" I grin back at her, reaching down between our bodies I grind my fingers over the seam of her tight jeans and Lucky moans as her hips buck from the cushions in a desperate jerk..

"Ohh fuck.. I want both.." Her lashes flutter as her eyelids drift close and she bites her bottom lip.. "I want you to make me cum, Konstantin.."