F/n and M/n belong to me. Red VS Blue belongs to RoosterTeeth. Also I'm not the biggest Halo fan so if something Doesn't add up or something please let me know.

Church, Tucker, M/n and Caboose are standing next to the tank outside Blue Base.

Church: "Yeah I'll let you in on a little secret, I've uh... I've actually got a girl back home."

Tucker: "Oh yeah? Girlfriend or wife?"

Church: "No, man, she's just my girlfriend, ya know? We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out... ah, you know how it works."

M/n: "I know what you mean. I got myself a girlfriend as well."

Tucker: "Really?"

M/n: "Yeah, she's perfect. I mean... Sure she can be pretty dominant in the bed and a bit intimidating but she's also drop dead gorgeous and really knows her way around a gun. I wonder how she's doing."

Tucker: "Oh, well, are either of you gonna marry them when you get back?"

Caboose: "I'm not gonna get married. *Everyone looks at him* My dad always said, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

M/n: "Ex-Fucking-Scuse me!?"

Church: "Hey, rookie... *Runs over to him* did you just call our girlfriends a pair of cows?"

Tucker: "No, I think he called them a couple of sluts!"

M/n: "*Clearly angry* Be lucky my girlfriend isn't here. She'd break your arm just for that. If you're lucky."

Church: "I'll tell you what, noob, I could sit out here and listen to you insult our girlfriends all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do."

Caboose: "Great."

Church: "See, we've got this General."

Tucker: "Right, the General guy."

Church: "...Who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases. So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention, just in case he decides to come by."

Caboose: "When is he coming by?"

Tucker: "We never know. Could be today, could be a week from now."

Caboose: "You want me to stand at attention for a week?"

M/n: "(Sarcastic) Wow, I can just feel the eagerness coming off of you."

Church: "Yeah, you know, you don't sound very grateful. This is the most important job at the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag."

Caboose: "What's so important about the flag?"

Church: "Oh, come on, don't they teach you guys anything in training?"

Caboose: "They didn't tell us anything about a flag. Why is it so important?"

Church: "Because it's the flag, man, you know, it's the f... it's the flag, it's... Tucker, you tell him why the flag is so important."

Tucker: "Well... it's... it's complicated. Uh... It's blue, we're blue."

M/n: "There's a lot more too it than that."

Caboose: "Oh yeah? Like what?"

M/n: "(Inspirational Voice with music in the background) It's a Symbol, Our ray of hope and light throughout the darkness of our minds!"

Church: "Where's that music coming from?"

M/n: "It's something that reminds us why we fight! Whether it's the Reds, Oranges, Yellows or even those dastardly disgusting pinks!"

Tucker: "What the fuck are you talking about? We've only got the reds to deal with! And there's no other coloured soldiers besides that one yellow guy. Also where the fuck is that music coming from!?"

M/n: "The point I'm making is as long as that flag stands then so do we! For if the flag falls then only then will we be allowed to fall as well!"

...Now you'd think with a speech as stupid as that, no one would be inspired. However...

Caboose: "*Stars in his eyes* Woah. That's... I never thought of it like that."

Tucker: "*Whispers* Wait that actually worked?"

Church: "You see what I mean? It's important, okay? Trust us. So when the General comes by, the first thing he's gonna want to do is inspect the flag."

Tucker: "Right."

M/n: "(Normal voice and no music) Exactly."

Church: "So just go in there, you know, far away from us, and wait for him."

Caboose turns and heads for the base, but stops half way and turns around.

Caboose: "Uh, how will I know when I see him?"

Tucker: "There's only four of us out here, rookie. He's gonna be the guy that doesn't look like one of us."

Church: "Now get in there, and don't come out! (turns to Tucker while Caboose runs in the base) Man, that guy is dumber than you are."

Tucker: "You mean he's dumber than you are."

Church: "(Sarcastic) Wow, Tucker, that was a great come-back."

M/n: "Both of you are idiots. But I'll admit the fact that Caboose actually believed my speech makes him pretty dumb."

Tucker: "Speaking of which, where did that music come from?"

M/n: "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Church: "He's talking about the music that came out of nowhere when you were doing your incredibly stupid speech."

M/n: "Ok, first of all, I still don't know what music you guys are talking about. Secondly while it may be stupid, it was enough to convince him to go inside the base."

Caboose emerges from the base with Church, Tucker and M/n in the distance.

Caboose: "Uh, Mr. Church? Mr. M/n? Sirs?"

Church: "Oh my god, WHAT!? (turns to Tucker) Tucker, I swear, I'm gonna kill him!"

M/n: "No. Don't do it... At least not yet."

Caboose: "Sorry about calling your girls a pair of sluts..."

Church: "ROOKIE! SHUT UP! *Caboose runs back into the base* JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY, GET IN THERE!"

Tucker: "(turns around to laugh) Uh-huh huh huh huh!"

M/n: "(Doesn't even hesitate to start laughing out loud) *Wheezes and Laughs*"

Church: "(turns around to face Tucker's back and M/n) Tucker, M/n, are you laughing at me?"

Donut steps up behind Church.

Donut: "Excuse me, sir, can I ask you a question?"

M/n: "(On alert) Wait what? Who the fuck are-"

Church: "*Cuts off M/n* Dear God in Heaven, rookie, if I turn around, and you are not inside, I.. I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do to you!"

Donut: "What did I do?"

M/n: "Church he's not-"

Church: "One..."

Donut: "Aw, gimme a break."

M/n: "Goddamnit Church! That's not-"

Church: "TWO!"

Donut: "Fine!"

Donut starts running to the base. Church looks to see M/n giving him an exasperated look.

Church: "(Annoyed) What?"

M/n: "... Oh my god you're a fucking idiot."

Donut runs in the base and walks up to Caboose.

Caboose: "Wow, you got here fast!"

Donut: "Why is everyone so freakin' rude in this canyon?"

Caboose: "I'm not, sir. What can I do for you?"

Donut: "Finally, someone with a little respect around here."

Caboose: "Yes, sir! I assume you're here because of this... (turns toward the flag)"

Donut: "Wait, is this all you have?"

Caboose: "Uh, yes, sir. That's it!"

Donut: "Aw man, this figures. Shit. What about elbow grease?"

Caboose: "Uhmm..."

Donut: "Headlight fluid?"

Caboose: "Uh..."

Donut: "How about Assault Rifle ammo?"

Caboose: "Oh yeah! We have some of that!"

Donut: "Thank god. Is there anything else you have?"

Caboose: "No. All we have is this flag."

Donut: "Well, I can't go back empty handed. I guess I'll take that and the ammo."

Caboose: "Sure, that makes sense. I guess."

Donut: "(Leaving with the flag and a bag of ammo) Man, they're gonna give me so much shit for coming back with just this stupid flag. Hopefully the ammo will be enough."

Cut to Church, Tucker and M/n.

Church: "Well, enough gabbing out of us, let's take this bad boy out for a spin. Go ahead and hop in, Tucker."

Tucker: "Me? I can't drive that thing."

Church: "You're telling me you're not Armor Certified?"

Tucker: "I ca- I don't even know how to use the fucking sniper rifle. Don't you know how to drive that?"

Church: No! (turns to M/n) Please for the love of god tell me you know how to drive this thing?"

M/n: "Sorry. I wasn't trained to use vehicles like this. I don't even have a driver's licence. Mainly cause of the uh... Accident."

Tucker: "Accident?"

M/n: "Yeah... Let's just say that after an unfortunate accident due to faulty wiring that I had no part in I may or may not have accidentally destroyed an entire military building after the Tank I was in shot a missile at a fuel tank."

Tucker: "......"

Church: "......... So in short you don't know how to drive it."

M/n: "Yeah, pretty much."

Church: "...Holy Crap! Who is running this army!?"

Caboose: "(emerging from the base) Hey! Just wanted to let you know the General stopped by and picked up the flag! Oh and he took some of our ammo. For some reason."

Church: "(to Caboose) Yeah! Okay! Whatever, moron! (to Tucker) Why would they give us a tank, if nobody here knows how to drive the damn thing? ...Wait a second... What did he just say?"