Outside of Blue Base
To Wade and Church, who's currently talking with Sister.

Church: So, this here is Wade.

Wade: Hi!

Sister: Hey there 'Wade' so, what do Like to do for fun?

Wade: Well, ...I like to blow things up, once in awhile.

Sister: I'm pretty good at 'blowing' things up to, if you know what I mean.

Wade: Ummm... (Whispers) Church, some help please!?

Church: Anyway! Welcome to Blue Team. I guess we should probably give you uh, some kind of orientation or somethin' like that. So this is the uh, this is the base here. This is the outside of the base. ...Inside's on the inside... go through that door, right there, get to the inside. Um, there's a ramp over here, there's another one on the other side. It's kinda smaller, does the same thing though. Uh, it's got a basement, ...nuhm, there's a middle part 'n' there's a top part... got some, you know blue flags here, on the outside, come in handy when you're, you know, tryin' to identify the colour of the base, it's blue. Anyway, that uh pretty much covers the base, so... anyway, yeah, that's it.

Sister: Cool.

Church: I'm Church, I'm the leader. Everybody looks up to me. Pretty much the only rule for rookies on the Blue Team is: don't kill the leader. That's me.

Sister: That's it?

Church: That's it.

Sister: Sounds easy.

Wade: Hasn't that rule, already been broken?

Church: Yeah, Wade it has. We're still waiting for someone to follow that rule. So anyway, uh tell me about yourself. What's your training?

Sister: Training?

Church: Yeah. What've you been told so far?

Sister: Oh right. That's the base, and you're the leader, and I shouldn't kill you. Ever. ...Did I pass?

Church: No, I mean like what kind of military training do you have. Weapons?

Sister: Uh, those sound violent.

Church: Operations?

Sister: I don't even know how that works.

Church: Communications.

Sister: Say what?

Church: Huhhhh, intelligence?

Sister: Uhhh, huh?

Church: Hhh, great.

Sister: Yeah, sorry, doesn't sound like I have any of the skills you need. Unless you wanna see my ping pong ball trick.

Church: Yeah... wait, what?

Wade: Ping pong ball trick?

Sister: I can show it, if you want!

Church: He doesn't need to hear anything about that! But, I just realised, we've never asked what your training was, Wade.

Wade: Well, I'm a demolition and gun expert. I can hold my ground in a one on one, fist fight. As for weapons, ...I think you've seen them so, far.

Church: Sheesh, ..I'd hate to be someone going up against you.

Blood Gulch
To Leo, Grif and Simmons running across the Canyon.

Grif: Guys! Slow down!

Leo: There's no time, Sarge is gone!

Simmons: We kept digging a hole, and kept digging, but there was no Sarge, and then finally we dug deep enough, and we found another hole.

Grif: You guys dug a hole, and found a hole. Isn't that what a hole is?

Leo: That's not what he meant, the hole leads into some sort of cavern!

Grif stops running, causing Simmons and Leo to stop with him.

Grif: A cavern? A cavern like a cave? Like a cave with bats?

Leo: I don't know... wait, are you afraid of bats, Grif?

Grif: Afraid of bats, no. Why would I be afraid of bats? And why would you even ask that question? Were there bats or something? That's kind of a weird thing to ask just for no reason.

Simmons: We didn't see any bats, okay?

Grif: Did you guys hear any bats?

Leo/Simmons: No.

Grif: Did you smell any bats.

Simmons: I don't know what bats smell like!

Grif: And let's hope you never find out. Is it getting dark? We should get inside.

Leo: It's not once, ever gotten dark here, in this god forsaken canyon!

Outside of Blue Base
Back to Church, Wade and Sister, now joined by Tucker and his abomination of a baby.

Church: And this, is Tucker.

Tucker: Sup.

Sister: Hey.

Church: Tucker's job is to do... what, I guess nothing.

Tucker: I'm just chillin'. That's the only rule on Blue Team, Rookie: be cool.

Sister: I thought the only rule was "don't kill the leader."

Tucker: Yeah, but we break that rule all the time. That's what makes us so cool.

Wade: (Mumbles) Just seems to get you guys, in trouble.

Sister: Awesome, on the Red Team, we make that rule-

Junior: ~Why does this human, smell like a dog pile of males?~

Sister: Oh cool, you have a dog?

Tucker: Uh, that's not a dog, that's my kid.

Sister: Oh, cool, you have a kid that looks like a dog?

Church: Nice save.

In the distance, Caboose exits Blue Base and down the ramp.

Church: Hey, you know what? I think I have the perfect tour guide for you. Hey Caboose, come here!

Sister: I thought about having a kid once.

Tucker: Oh really? It's a lot of work.

Wade: Especially, if there an Alien baby.

Sister: Yeah, it seems like it would be hard. But I thought, you know, who wants to be known as the girl who's had seven abortions?

Tucker: Heh, yeheah... wait, what?

Church: Alright, this is Caboose. He can tell you everything you'd possibly need to know about Blue Base.

Caboose: Is she a mean girl, or a regular girl?

Church: Caboose, what did I tell you.

Caboose: That there are no regular girls.

Wade: 'Regular girls'?

Church: You'll understand what I mean. (To Sister) Alright, so just stick with him, ask him any questions you have, aaand just don't bother me. Or Wade and Tucker.

Caboose: What do I tell her?

Sister: Well, I already know the rule.

Caboose: I hate that stupid rule.

Wade: Why don't you show her, Doc and Shelia.

Caboose turns to look back toward Blue Base, where Doc and Sheila are hanging out.

Caboose: The purple one is Doc, and the big one is Sheila.

A black figure is seen sneaking behind Church, Wade, Tucker, and Junior.

Church: You know, I was really wishing that would take longer. ...And further away.

Sister: Who's the black one?

Church: The black one?

Sister: Yeah, the one in the black armor? The one standing right behind you guys.

Caboose: The black one, yeah. ...Wait, what?

Wade pumps his shotgun, for safety reasons.

The End
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