Fentanyl: this medication is a synthetic opioid pain reliever, approved for treating severe pain. It is 50 to 100 times more potent than morphine.

Sweat dripped off my brow as I thrashed around in the bed, calling out for... her.

The one who started it all, but my God do I miss her.

"Taehyung, how are you feeling?" The nurse asked, clipboard in her arms.

I scoffed. "Fucking terrible."

She gave a soft smile. "I'm sorry to hear that. You're still in the worst part of the withdrawal. Maybe one or two more days and you'll be starting to feel much better."

I rolled my eyes. "I know. This is the part where I relapsed the last time."

The nurse simply nodded before marking a few notes on her clipboard prior to leaving the room.

I stared at the needle in my arm, pumping fluids continuously through my body. My eyes then traveled to the flowers that were beginning to wilt. They had been quite beautiful for the first few days.

Rose came to visit me for an hour or so every day, saying that when she had overdosed again, her sponsor did the same for her.

"You're not alone in this battle, Taehyung-ah," she said as she squeezed my hand. "We pray for you every meeting."

Thinking back on the memory from her visits, I scoffed, thinking about the tattooed male who only wants sobriety long enough to become rich.

Even if I had an inheritance, why would I get it, just to ruin everything I worked so hard to achieve?

The second my eyes closed, the door to my room opened.

"Namjoon-ah? Why are you here?"

My best friend sat down next to me and squeezed my hand. "Have I not been here for you every time you've overdosed? Jin would've come, but he was called into work last minute. How are you feeling?"

I sighed. "Weak."

"Overdosing can do that to you," Namjoon said with a slight chuckle, making me shake my head.

"No. I'm weak because I can't fucking do it. Why did she have to die? Why did this have to happen? If she was still here, I would've never started doing drugs. I can't do it, I can't do it. I'm a wuss. A wuss. Wuss. Wuss-" I repeated the word like a mantra until Namjoon sat next to me on the bed and clamped a hand over my mouth.

"Listen here, Tae. You are not a wuss. The fact that you've chosen to get better shows such great strength and determination. My dear friend," Namjoon's voice dropped to almost a whisper as he moved my scruff of hair behind my ear, "You are the strongest person I know."

I gave him a small smile as I nodded before I blacked out.

••

Faint whispers were heard as I once again became aware of my surroundings. My eyes blinked open, spotting Jin speaking with a doctor. I tried to speak, only to start choking on a tube in my throat.

The doctor shouted out into the hall before a team of doctors and nurses came to help remove the tube from my throat.

As I swallowed, I winced at the slight discomfort. Jin helped me take a sip of water with a soft smile on his lips.

My eyes met his as the doctors left us alone in the room.

Jin sighed. "Don't try to speak too much." He paused, fiddling with his hands. "You had a seizure and they found an intracerebral hemorrhage. It's basically bleeding in the brain from the long-term, excessive, using of cocaine. You've been in a coma following your brain surgery for about a week."

I nodded, showing him that I heard and understood. Tears welled up in my eyes as my head fell back against the pillow.

"Also..." Jin began, trailing off with an uneasy look in his eyes. "They did have to medicate you following the surgery."

I pushed my lips together as the tears fell silently down my cheeks. I squeezed my hands into tight fists, taking in a deep breath.

"Why would you let them do that?" I sounded pissed. And I was. Just, not at him. At the situation.

Jin frowned. "I didn't have much of a say in the matter. Neither did Namjoon."

I sighed and nodded, reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Some woman named Rose came to visit you every day. Yesterday, someone named Zico visited too." Jin gave me another small smile.

I gave my first genuine smile in months. "They did?"

My hyung nodded. "They both grabbed your hands and prayed for you. Rose sat for about an hour. Zico only stopped by for a short while on his way to work."

"Are those the only two people who visited me?" I questioned, wishing the one person who I wish would visit had.

Jin shrugged. "Besides me and Namjoonie? No. I'm sorry. Were you expecting someone?"

I shook my head before closing my eyes. "I'm tired. I'm going to sleep some. Thank you for being here, Jin. I-I really do love you and Joonie."

Jin ruffled my hair. "We love you two, kiddo."