Pity: the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others.

"Taehyungie! It's nice to see you outside of the meetings again," Jimin said with an eye smile.

"Sorry it's been a while, Chim." I gave him a small closed-mouth smile in return.

"You've had a lot going on, Tae. I'm just glad I can help provide you a little distraction."

I nodded, looking at the menu in front of me. I cleared my throat and reached out to signal the waiter.

He walked over quickly. "What can I do for you?" He had kind eyes. He looked genuine and honest.

I picked up the menu. "I would love it if you could take these menus from the table. I'm a recovering addict and struggling as is. I don't need the temptation of the alcohol menu."

The waiter nodded. "Of course!" He grabbed mine and Jimin's before sighing. "I'm was an addict too. I've been in recovery for six years. May I ask how long it's been for you?"

"About four months now," I responded.

Jimin quickly spoke up as well. "I'm coming up on month two!"

The waiter shook both of our hands. "Congratulations, friends! I'm proud of both of you. Consider your meal on me! It's the least I can do in congratulations for you."

"I don't feel like I deserve a congratulations," I mumbled, but it went unheard as Jimin continued talking with the waiter.

As he walked off, Jimin giggled. "How old do you think he is?"

"Hmm maybe 28? It's hard to say nowadays."

"I'll have to ask him. He's cute!" Jimin practically squealed at the thought of our waiter. I couldn't help but chuckle a little as I began to read through the menu.

A few minutes later, the waiter returned, notepad in hand. "Have you two decided?"

I couldn't help but notice how his eyes lingered on Jimin.

I cleared my throat. "Yes, I want the shrimp scampi with an extra piece of the garlic bread."

"Excellent choice. And, uh, for you?" His eyes once again raked over Jimin.

With a smirk, Jimin pointed to the meal he chose in the menu. "I'll have the spaghetti and meatballs with the side salad, oh, and your number."

The waiter chuckled and nodded, scribbling on his notepad. "I'll take those menus," he said, grabbing them before passing a torn off piece of his notepad to Jimin.

"Thank you, Doyoung," Jimin smiled, the waiter, Doyoung, smiling in return before walking back towards the direction of the kitchen.

I watched as my best friend did a small dance, putting the number in his phone with a large smile.

I sighed, debating whether I should burst his bubble now or later.

Jimin looked at me with a single raised eyebrow, his smile wavering. "What is it?"

"Nothing." I shook my head.

Not here.

"Taehyungie, seriously, tell me. Is he too old? Is it weird? What's up?"

He waited silently as I chewed on my lower lip, processing how to say my next few words.

"There is a sort of unspoken rule," I began, seeing him nod to show he's listening. "Recovering addicts should not date one another."

Jimin recoiled slightly, a scowl on his face. "Well, you shouldn't be hypocritical considering you were with Jungkook."

"Yeah, and look where that got us!" I snapped, feeling the eyes of other tables looking at me. "If one person in the relationship slips up, then it can be detrimental to both parties, not just one person. Trust me. This whole situation with Jungkook has only made me realize how stupid I was for letting myself get so close to him."

Jimin's eyes softened before he reached across the table, squeezing my hand. "Tae... I'm sorry. I know you've been hurting and struggling. But are you saying you regret everything with Jungkook?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, holding myself back before the waterworks floods the pores of my cheeks. "I don't know. I'm grateful to Jungkook, sure, as he helped me get sober. He was my anchor, and he still is. I just... he's wreckless. I don't think I can be around that."

Doyoung cleared his throat as he approached the table, two plates in his hands. "Here you go, gentlemen. Do either of you need anything? Everything look good?"

We nodded, the waiter walking off before I met the look of pity in Jimin's eyes.

I groaned. "Don't give me that look. I'll be fine eventually. I just need people to give me space to figure it out for my fucking self."

The pink-haired male raised his arms in a defensive position with a slight chuckle. "I'm just trying to eat my spaghetti, get off my ass."

I couldn't help but giggle at his sass, picking up my fork and digging in to the burning hot meal in front of me.

•••••

I'm still alive lmao.

Barely.

But I'm alive.