This time, I woke up to a loud, but familiar banging.

"WAKEEEE UPPPPPPPPPP!" Cas hollered and banged from behind my apartment door. "UP AND AT 'EM!!!!! GET UR ASS OUT OFFFF BEDDDD BEFORE THE NEIGHBOOORSSS COMPLAIN AND GET US BOTH KICKED OUUUUTTTTT!!!"

I tumbled out of bed and fell straight on my face as Cas's yell was literally reverberating through my head. I sprinted so fast to the door, desperately needing her to shut up before my brain exploded. 

Thank God I ran as fast as I did because I opened the door mid-bang. Cas's jaw was wide open ready for another round of screaming. She guiltily looked back at me, but yet proud of herself for getting me up.

"Cas, seriously. You have a key. Why do you do this every time?" I questioned.

"Cause this is more fun. Duhhh," she responded while playfully smacking my face.

I sarcastically responded, "Really, thanks for that. What would I do without you?"

She pushed her way in and made herself at home behind my tiny kitchen counter. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. You love me, you need me, blah, blah, blah, I'm the reason you live and breathe... Okay, breakfast. What are we feeling? Pancakes, french toast, waffles...mhhm a frittata, cereal, oatmeal...so many options..."

I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could, Cas cut me off. "Never mind, you suck at cooking anyway. I got it."

Cas was truly the best friend I could have ever asked for. She had always been close to my family. My parents adored her treating her like a third daughter and Evalyn had loved her. 

Cas wasn't just my best friend, she was my sister too.

When my family passed away, Ryder wasn't the only one in the hospital room beside my bed, Cas was there too. And unlike Ryder, Cas stayed. I think she knew that there was nothing she could do to help me grieve and process the loss. 

And I honestly didn't want anyone to talk to or work things out with. 

I just needed time and to know that eventually, things would be okay. 

Cas being there did that for me. She never pushed me to talk, she never asked me what I needed, she never tried to remind that they were in a better place, she didn't even give me a useless apology. She stayed and did the greatest thing for me.

She helped me never forget them.

Like I did with Ryder, I nearly pushed my family out of my memories, attempting to grieve by forgetting, but Cas never let me.

 Before my family died, my mom was adamant on our family spending some quality time together. Since I can remember, our tradition became Sunday brunch with the family. Cas basically being family, was always a must at these breakfasts. 

Mom was an incredible cook, as was Cas. Dad, Evalyn, and me, on the other hand, were better off setting the table, likely setting off the fire alarm just by approaching the kitchen. And with those jobs, the brunches were perfect.

Those family brunches were so special and filled with so many little memories. I still vividly remember three years ago when Dad told us about the new song he was working on.

Dad cleared his throat rather obnoxiously. "I have a new song I want to tell y'all about."

We all loved Dad's songs. He had been playing around with different genres recently, so we were in for a surprise. Mom asked, "Sure honey, what have you been working on." She was glowing with pride. 

Mom was truly dad's biggest fan, obsessed with his music. Dad teases that Mom was a groupie before she joined him on the stage, but we all know that's a lie. No way Mom was a groupie, Dad had to chase her hard.

I always pretended to hate their mushy love, but honestly, it was kinda beautiful.

"It's about kids that are told to dream smaller. To think more realistically and practically. To bottle up their dreams and nearly stop dreaming all together to be something else," Dad explained.

"Oooh, that sounds really interesting Dad," Evalyn said while shoving a piece of waffle into her mouth.

"But wait, let me tell you the title. I really love it. It's catchy, light, simple, and ironic. Drumroll please..." He was so extra. I rolled my eyes as he began, "The song is titled Better Dream Smaller Ma, #BDSM."

Evalyn started choking on her waffle. Cas spat her french toast. And I snorted the iced tea I was drinking, Lipton tea burning out of my nostrils.

While this happening, Mom cheered dad on "Damn. That's sharp. Love it. Can't wait to hear it. Love the addition of the hashtag honey. Look at us kids, we can be cool and hip."

Evalyn, Cas, and I just looked at each other before we burst out laughing. We were laughing so hard that, I was literally cackling, with Cas sounding more like a dying seal and Evalyn a hyena.

Mom and dad were so confused. It was me who finally got it together long enough to say, "#BDSM dad-that doesn't mean what you think it does."

"What do you mean?" my dad asked. I had honestly never seen my dad look more innocent than at that moment.

"Ummm...it's like kind of uuuuhhh...like a sexthing..." Cas quickly rambled out.

"Huh?" my mom asked this time, equally confused.

"Asexthing." Cas said even faster this time.

Literally so lost, Mom and Dad just gave each other a look while us girls continued to laugh.

It felt like we were laughing for hours until, Evalyn, being the blunter one among us finally said, "Dad, #BDSM is like rough sex. I don't think that's what you're branding. Title's great-but drop the hashtag Dad."

I wish I could have taken a picture of Dad's face at that moment. His face red and a shameful, he was completely, utterly embarrassed. Mom momentarily gasped, until she too started laughing. 

She mumbled, "Corey honey, we're never gonna get the hashtags right. What even is #BDSM? Back in our day, it was just Doms and Subs, none of these stupid acronyms. Simple and straight."

"Mom!" "Ashley!" We all shouted. "Ugh, gross Mom. Did not need to know any to that!" I exclaimed.

Dad started to chuckle. And soon after we were all in tears, most of us incredibly embarrassed.

There were so many other memories that we had made as a family at those brunches that I would have regretted forgetting, and Cas made sure I didn't. The first Sunday after my family had passed away, she showed up at my door with a bag of groceries. 

She didn't say anything.

She just walked into the kitchen and started working. Starving, mostly crying and sleeping to pass the time, the scent of Cas's cooking made my mouth water. That was the first proper meal that I had had since they had died. We didn't talk during that meal- pin-drop silence as our forks clanked against the plates. 

I'm so thankful that my depressed silence didn't scare her off. It was her persistence that finally brought me back to life and the meals eventually weren't silent. We choose to laugh about past memories and share them with one another rather than dwell on the sadness. 

She stayed, and every Sunday morning since, without fail, we have our family breakfast tradition and we take time to remember the family we lost and would always remember.

Cas broken me out of my thoughts as I heard her shout, "Go get ready, we got a lunch shift today and you look like...well...it looks like a rat made a home in your hair."

Way to ruin the moment Cas. "Damn, you make me feel beautiful Cas. Vote of self-confidence." 

She wasn't wrong. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that I had some work to do. I quickly showered and washed my hair. I picked out a simple white skater sundress and slipped it on. The dress was simple with a lace flower design, cinched at the waist. It was classy and made feel a bit more put together. I proceeded to brush the tangles out of my hair and decided to let my deep chestnut hair air dry. I took a few minutes to dab on some makeup, mascara and lip balm. I looked at myself in the mirror again and I didn't look half bad. Almost nice.

I stepped out of the bathroom to find Cas sitting on my bed holding a sheet of paper. I stepped closer towards her, peering over her shoulder while asking, "What are you reading?"

She turned the paper towards me while looking me dead in the eyes. She looked confused and lost. I looked at the page and understood the look on her face.

Shit.