Before we move on, the writer is thinking of changing the name of this fanfic but for now, it's just "The Manipulators".

Anyway, I gave this fanfic a chance. I really did.

Since this is his first work, I did expect some bullcrap so I wasn't, at first, going to be really harsh on it. But the bullcrap he pulled off here is dumbfounding.

Let's get to the positives first before I rip and tear this fanfic apart. 

Anyway, it starts out with Izuku being quirkless and is being hated by everyone in the school and it naturally makes him have a grudge against people who are cruel. Ok, nice start.

Then Ochako transfers over to his school. She saw how people treated him and was horrified that someone is being beaten down for not having a quirk. Izuku tries to commit suicide but Ochako saves him, scolding him for what he did and later becomes friends with him.

The two trained together and fall in love as expected.

Then Sludge villain happened, but its ochako being the victim instead of Bakuloser. This gives the situation tenser and Izuku freeing her on his own was really satisfying.

I like that.

But here comes the problems with this fanfic.

First off, the writing style. It mostly focuses on character POV instead of a straight, simple narrative view. It occasionally does switch to the 3RD POV but they're shortlived. I usually don't mind it if the writing can hold up to it. But it really doesn't since it felt rush at times and the narrative description of the character POV can be absolute cringe which is one of the main reasons I don't like character POV that much.

Also, right after Izuku and Ochako defeated the sludge villain as ALl Might chose Izuku as his next successor, some villain showed up and attacks All Might with radiation only for Izuku to take the hit.

And after that, the bullcrap happens.

That is not how Radiation and One For All WOrks.

One for all is just a quirk that gets passed on to the next. And it can possibly KILL the person if the body isn't fit for it. And Izuku and Ochako trained for a while so his body should be ready to get ahold of it. 

And radiation doesn't work like that either. And how does Izuku being quirkless make the effects any different from someone else who has a quirk? Radiation in it of itself equally affects someone no matter what or who they are.

 I did my research and that's not how it works!!

I also watch a video of a professional describing how radiation works as well.

https://youtu.be/PQjL4ZDuq2o

And then comes this.

IT. DOESN'T. WORK. LIKE. THAT.

First off, Dementia and Alzheimers are the only symptoms of someone forgetting who they are, replacing them with a new persona. And that can happen when they're very old!! 

Very rarely, and I'm talking super rare, does it happen to young people. And Izuku is 15-16 for goodness sake! And cancer doesn't cause that at all! The only thing cancer does is have some memory loss and nothing else regarding the total loss of memory or new personalities being made!

While Radiation can cause cancer, it can only happen if the radiation is as high as nuclear energy.

And you're telling me that the villain that tried to attack All Might has as much power as a Nuclear Energy? If that's the case, then why isn't that villain widely know throughout the world and already spreading chaos with his nuclear radiation. Conquering the country with his wrath. But no!

And cancer could only either make living harder, kill you, somehow doesn't harm you, or go away if you're strong enough to beat it.

Honestly, the whole villain attacking All Might and Izuku ending up in the hospital is not needed at all. Especially that stupid, "I will fade out of existence be replaced by a new personality because of cancer," bullcrap.

Even If I didn't do research, none of it makes any sense at all!!!

This is insulting. Taking something so serious and extremely sensitive, only to give it little to no care at all.

It's a complete waste of time.

I wanted to like this fanfic, I really did.

But I don't because it's bullcrap.

I recommend not reading it.

Update: The writer has rewritten the story after reading the review. He has acknowledged the flaws and went out of his way to fix it.

Now it makes more sense and less flawed and the writing has gotten a bit better.

Once the fanfic is completed, i will give it a full review.

And i must congratulate fireheatblaze for admitting his mistakes and taking the time to properly fix them instead of acting like he has no time for that and ruin the story even more with awful descions and lazy exposition dumps that contradicts and retcons the story like youngdelaware.

That earns respect.