I remember the day Noa showed up to school, practically showcasing her hickey I gave her. I figured she forgot about it or somehow was rushing this morning so she didn't have time to cover it up.

In the moment though it felt like she wanted people to know. So I figured, I shouldn't be a coward either. I grabbed her hand in mine that day. I walked to all of her classes with her. I sat with her at lunch, ignoring the whispers and odd stares I was receiving. Noa ignored them too.

Well, I mean she always ignored it, so that wasn't anything new.

We hadn't established what we were at this point, I just knew we were at least friends. I was happy with being friends too.

Her eyes briefly flickered around before landing on me as she took a bite of her sandwich. I didn't realize I had been staring and smiling at her until she pointed it out.

"Wow. You only kissed me, dude. I didn't give you full access yet." Yet. I knew she had been joking, but what had she meant by 'yet'? Was she implying that she wanted more?

That she also wanted to be more?

"Sorry. Sorry. How's the sandwich?" I had asked, knowing that it was pretty damn good since I had made it. Noa forgot her lunch and lunch money at home when she was rushing, so I had given her my lunch. I had bought an apple and some chips from the cafeteria for my lunch instead. I would've bought her something, but she wouldn't accept it. The only thing she accepted was the sandwich.

"Exceptional...what's your secret? Extra mayo? Expensive deli meats and cheeses? High end breads that cost more than $5 a loaf?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow while smirking slightly as she chewed.

I shook my head. "Nope. It's made with extra love. My grandmother had always taught me that even if you are the worst cook ever, if you put love into it and try, it'll taste ten times better." She snorted in response as she took another bite. "And maybe extra provolone, too."

She smirked slightly. "Knew it." With that, she had finished the sandwich and had gotten up to go use the bubbler for a drink of water. I shoved my water bottle over towards her. She looked at it and back at me.

"I'm not drinking from the same bottle as you. Germs, dude."

I crossed my arms, tilting my head to the side.

"You weren't complaining about germs when our tongues were literally inside each other's mouths yesterday." Her mouth gaped as she swiftly grabbed the water bottle and chugged it down, never breaking eye contact with me.

There was a little bit left to which she decided to pour down on my pants.

"Looks like someone got a bit excited." She winked before grabbing the remnants of both our lunches and throwing them out. I only faked a scowl as she sat back down. She had pretended that she didn't notice my 'upset' face.

"Have you ever smoked before?" She had asked me out of the blue. I responded with a small shake of my head. I never resorted to that.

Drinking, yes. Only like two times though.
To ease my depressive thoughts, I tended to do bodily harm.

"Interesting. Don't do it. You become addicted. Trust me." That's when I took notice in her hands. They were trembling, as if she were scared. She saw me looking and hid them. "I haven't had a cigarette in a week."

I had scratched my chin. "Why?" I figured it was because of money. Cigarettes can become extremely costly after awhile.

"So I wouldn't smell of smoke around you. I'm tired of the dirty habit." I remember smiling at that. She had did it partially for me.

"I guess you didn't taste like smoke at all, now that I think of it. More like peaches." She laughed melodically at my comment.

"You were tasting your own chapstick, you doofus. My breath probably reeked of the morning and some mint since I do brush my teeth." I chuckled along as well, watching how her wide eyes crinkled together when she laughed. It was a beautiful and rare sight. Any moment of her smiling or laughing is forever engrained within my mind.

Always.

"Probably. But I'll still think you taste like peaches because we gotta keep it cliché. Yeah?"

She shook her head, still laughing.
...

Once the rest of the week proceeded, we became closer. We didn't kiss again, but we were openly friends, and everyone, after a while, stopped pestering us and spreading rumors about us. Maybe it was because we became old news. But, I like to think it was because Noa and I both didn't care, and once you stop caring about what others think, they become bored.

Bored because they aren't affecting you anymore.

---

"Okay, I heard from Tammy today that you've been seeing a girl. I want to meet her." My mother's voice had rang through the house. She was actually home for a weekend and not on a business trip or locked away in her office to avoid seeing her 'husband'.

Tammy was a work friend of hers and the mother of Aria, so of course, the news of Noa and I were to be found out sooner than later, I had thought at the time.

"Yeah. I can invite her for dinner tonight?" I stated but more as a question. My mother nodded once I came down the stairs and was met with her small smile. I swear I have never seen her not wearing her business attire. She had always said, 'always present yourself as if you were at your job." I didn't quite agree even though my wardrobe paraded this mantra of hers. Then again, it was more 'her' wardrobe for me, not my own wardrobe for myself.

"Great. I heard from Tammy that she's um a little different...but I want to see for myself. I'm sure she's a sweet girl if you like her so much."

In that moment, I had felt my heart skip a beat. I guess I did really like her a lot, but we had only established a friendship. And even that wasn't explicitly said.

"Um she's more of a friend. I think you will like her though. She's different than Aria if that's what Tammy meant. Different in a good way. She's real. Not fake. You'll like her, trust me."

She smiled at my comment which had surprised me since she was going along with the fake 'family' image with my father. Then again, she always hated it and only did it for my brother's and my sake. If only she knew we would have rather had it different.

"Good. I'll make lasagna then." She got right to cooking after putting her clean and crisp apron on. It was nice whenever she cooked for us, which, at the time, became increasingly more rare as time went on.

I called Noa's cell phone, and she answered almost immediately.

"Hey!"

There was a pause before she spoke. "Hi Rhett-babe. What's up? Need more help with the chemistry study guide?" I could hear the smugness in her voice as she asked. She had found out that I was doing well in class, and, so, after that she always used it against me.

"Nope. Not this time. My mom invited you for dinner tonight. Want me to come pick you up?"

"No. I can walk." She had swiftly responded, and I could tell she didn't want me over there for some reason. I also remember hearing yelling faintly in the background. I knew her home life wasn't ideal, and I also knew that her father was not likeable based upon a couple comments she had made prior.

"Noa...it would be easier. I'll even stay in the car if you want. I know it's horrible for your rebellious reputation to be seen with me..." I heard her dramatically sigh, and I knew I had won.

"God. Just text me when you get here. Don't come up though...I don't want your innocent mind corrupted by some people that are related to me by blood."

I had felt a shiver down my spine at how she worded it. "You mean family?"

"Not all people who are blood-related are family, Rhett." I nodded my head in agreement, before realizing she can't see me since we were talking on the phone.

"Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. I'll be over there in twenty. Dress casual...and don't be alarmed at my mom's professional appearance. It's how she likes to dress."I heard her giggle a bit at my comment.

"Just for that, I'm going to dress like an utter slob."

"Don't you already?" I teased back, and I heard her let out her beautiful laugh.

"God. This is why I lov-enjoy your company...See you soon."

I remember saying 'bye' but focusing on how she almost had said the l-word.

Love.

Did she love me?