When a person dies, everything about them dies too. Their memory, their body, even their belongings lose their shape eventually. Once they're put into the ground, it's all gone. They're dead.

That's not entirely true.

The people who knew them- a chance encounter, a close friend, a lover, a son- would remember them in some way. Sometimes the memory faded out, but sometimes it would rise up and become a tale. A myth, maybe of a hero saving the day.

But villains never get a happy ending.

Above all, I know which I am. I have destroyed, killed, and broke my own brother so he couldn't hurt me. Then broke everyone who stood in my way. Every person who saw me was imprinted with the rumors, judging from the horrified stares and whispers. Thank goodness Aiger Akabane beat him.

He's terrifying, I'm glad he isn't Number One anymore.

Didn't he break more beys than Red Eye? That's kind of impressive, must be a new record.

I hate those words. It's fair and I deserve every second of it, but I still hate it. I have a life too. Or maybe everyone saw me as a dead man walking. Can't say I would blame them.

I tilt my head up to consider the forest around me, the sun that I can barely see through the trees. It's very beautiful today, this in-between place I found. No one has any idea that this oasis exists. On the edge of Beigoma, there's a huge stretch of forest, and in the dead center- this place. It's not in a traditional oasis, more like a reprieve from... life. People. Me, Valt Aoi, Shu Kurenai, everyone. Everyone who I know will go down in the books as powerful, amazing people who reached the top from a small, nothing town.

Kurenai would be less famous than others in history, a little more popular around the people who listened to the rumors. Who knew about Red Eye and what really happened, who knew he'd fought hard to recover.

And Valt.

The one I had wanted to destroy.

He'd go down as the Wonder Boy who never quit, never broke in the face of everything. He once arrived late to a battle, then tripped and fell into the stadium. Clumsy, innocent boy who refused to die. Who was the one who nearly ended my story.

My story?

I am Phi, the defeated Lord of Destruction, shrouded in mystery and rumors. Still great, but no longer the god everyone thought me to be. I will never be like the others, even if I was more powerful. I will get nothing more than a passing glance.

My story has always been unknown, and I think that's for the best. It lives only with me, and it dies with me, and when this phone gets found at the bottom of this lake with these words, it'll be too late. This small oasis will not be looked at, most likely not be found until I am dead.

And death is going to be very soon.

Today is what I began to call my birthday nine years ago, the first time I touched real grass and saw the sun for the first time. When I obeyed Mama's last words; to leave and never look back.Today is my nineteenth birthday, celebrating nine years of freedom.

And nineteen is where my story will end.

The sun explodes above the trees, glorious rising reds and yellows igniting the dark world. The small lake in the middle begins to glow, a lovely cerulean shot through with white- but I can still see the inked depths. All of the trees that I can see are edged with gold and orange, almost like they're on fire.

Beautiful.

I shake my head slightly. I'm not here for the view, even if it is nice.

I never wanted to be like Papa. He was everything I hated: cruel, cold, and self-serving. And now I'm all of those things, and ruined not just one person's life, but actually murdered Papa, then broke three different beyblades. In a few words, I've screwed up. A lot.

And worse, I didn't even know it.

It took me a few words with a boy with cold-cut ruby eyes and a razor mind to match for me to understand.

So I'm going to fix it and disappear.

I reach into my coat pocket and pull out a small silver switchblade. It's smooth and the edges are razor sharp. I've tested it on myself several times, so I know. The scars are proof enough.

I sit down with a huff on the sand. It's so soft. Ever since I left Dread Tower, I've had a love for untouched wilderness: warm and real, when I felt after I left that nothing else was. I was in a daze and couldn't register anything but the grass and the bright, open sky.

I'm going to miss this world.

I clutch the knife tightly in my hand. It glitters in the rising sun's light like a sliver of harvested star. For everything I've learned in nine years, I never taught myself how to correctly use a knife, but I doubt it's too complicated. Just a quick slice to the throat and a minute or so of suffering.

For my failures.

The knife is raised to my throat, it smoothly cutting the air before it cuts me.

I'm honestly a little scared. What if there is an afterlife, and Papa's there to greet me? What if Mama hates me? What if I'm tortured for eternity?

Then I'd deserve it.

Nine years of freedom draw to a close as I- before I can second-guess my logical choices- slice the silver blade across my throat.

Immediately, pain. A ton of it, and the various severed cords in my neck spray blood. The feeling in my body dims, but I sense my back hit the ground with a quiet thump. I'm definitely dying. Something wet is dripping out of my mouth and in my lungs, and I'm choking on it.

I wonder if, once I die, I'll be able to see Mama again. Or maybe it'll be like a sleep you don't wake up from. Maybe if I end up in hell- why wouldn't I- I can torture Papa again and again for killing Mama.

Shu hates me more than anything. I sort of want to know what he thinks about that kiss. And Mama's ring. He's smart enough to know that I want Phoenix's legacy and Mama's legacy to continue. I hope he never passes on mine. But maybe Shu'll remember me. As one of the few people who didn't bother to pretend, who honestly helped me understand why people hated me, I think I'd like that a lot.

I think if I was raised with him, we would have been friends instead. Maybe it's just circumstance and forced living that makes people how they are. I hope so, because that means I might have had a chance at being a semi-decent person. I think Phoenix would have found her way to me anyways, but ever since I got her, I don't regret much. Killing Papa was probably a bad idea, and so was destroying beys, but those were both my choices. Being her partner was the most amazing time I've had in my life.

The only thing I really regret is... probably destroying Laban's bey. I only did that one for fun.

My legs and arms won't move anymore, and I can only make weak sounds out of my mouth. My tongue's almost clumsy to make actual words, but I manage to rasp, "Remember me. And don't look back."

Then my vision fades.

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Oh, you thought I was dead? Unfortunately, not yet. When my vision fades, it fades to white, not black. And it's only happened once before.

When I first saw the beautiful Phoenix.

"Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?"

The delicate female voice rings through the empty, painted-looking world. It looks exactly like it did nine years ago, bright and full of what I now know are clouds. My head whips around, and I behold the boundless grace of my beyblade's spirit. She's as incredible as ever, but her eyes are infinitely sad.

I look at her. I've been in this cloud mindspace enough times to know how to speak instead of think. "I thought it would be better," I admit, looking away.

She rears up, wings slashing the white sky. "How could you say that!" the voice cries. "Out of every person I've ever met, you're the only one I care about! Why would you abandon me?"

Shit. I never thought about it this way. I did abandon her by doing this. "... I'm sorry. But I'm already dead. There's nothing I can do to make it better, Phoenix."

"Icara."

I blink.

"My name is Icara, not that it matters to you." Her beak snaps open and closed once. "I think you want to feel your punishment. I think you believe you deserve to die. I think you're tired of everything."I open my mouth, but Icara sighs. "I love you, Phi. I'm going to miss you a lot."

And before I can tell her to wait, I wish I could stay with her, but if I can't stop myself from being something I hate, I don't deserve to live, my vision flashes bright red with a wave of pain.

Then I'm back in my world, with Icara's name on my lips. The sun explodes into the open sky, dazzling light piering my skin and dulling the pain in my neck. My vision's fading again, and this time, I know it'll go to black.

I'm already destroyed. Everything about me was destroyed the moment that man killed Mama and I failed her. Death can't really be much worse.

So I watch the fading sun as it rises until my blurry eyes close.

Rising no more.

One more chapter to survive! You're almost there! Keep going, amazing reader, through my trash!