Dick is a simp for David because it's what he deserves

David was never one for celebrations even when he was small. Maybe because he was forced to party with the other kids on whichever base they were staying at and he knew by his next birthday, they would've moved again. He didn't mind the odd reunion or party nowadays but he wouldn't actively seek an invite or go out of his way to host one. In fact, aside from where work insisted, Dick had been the only motivating factor to going to parties. It was this fact that made David silently dread his birthday. He'd been saying for months and months that he didn't want any sort of party. He'd seen the extravagance of Dick's birthday bashes and he really wasn't down for that. He could only hope that Dick actually listened to his demands for a lowkey day rather than one that would lead to a three-day bender and waking up in Mexico with a new tattoo. Unfortunately, he knew his boyfriend and knew that subtle wasn't exactly his style. He'd fully prepared himself for a day of the agony that was social interaction and just hoped it would be over or at least somehow worth it.

A gentle shake made David stir from his quite peaceful sleep. The first thing he noticed was the sweet smell of pancakes and honey followed by a small cackle he knew was his boyfriend's which was presumably in response to his sleepy groan. "C'mon sleepyhead, I've already let you sleep in an extra hour," the acrobat's voice called. He heard a tray being set down before a hand ran through his ginger locks, attempting to coax him to wake up. He'd very happily go back to sleep if it wasn't for his stomach growling. He opened his eyes and slowly sat up, at which point the tray was lifted back up so he could wiggle himself into a comfy position, and he let out a yawn though he didn't really feel tired. Dick pressed a kiss against his cheek and set the tray back down in his lap. There sat a plate of stacked fluffy pancakes with honey and blueberries on top with a cup of coffee on the side. There was a little box on the tray too that was tied with blue ribbon. 

"You didn't have to do this," David assured him. 

"Hush it. I don't want any of that today. Everything is about you and what you'd like."  The ginger smiled as he received another kiss on the cheek. He tucked in as Dick did something on his phone. He couldn't tell what though since the screen was facing away from him. He wondered what he was up to. Maybe a surprise party? He hoped there weren't a lot of people there. More than ten was going to be hell. "I just need to go sort something out but when I come back you can open your first gift. I wanna see if you like it." David nodded and watched the acrobat rush out of the room. Definitely a surprise party. There was probably some sort of issue with the catering or the venue. If he was lucky then the issue would be so catastrophic that they wouldn't have the party. He finished up his pancakes and sipped away at his coffee as he waited. A nice moment of calm would do him good. It felt like every five minutes there was some drama or other. It was either Bruce saying something, some new gang thinking they were hot shit or there was drama within the Batfamily that for some reason always sucked them in. He guessed that's why he didn't want to give up being a hitman despite how bad it felt to be so far from his lover. Killing a guy was just what he needed to detox from the drama. Maybe he should bring Dick along next time. That would be nice and God knows the guy needed it. Eventually, the acrobat returned with a bright smile. "Sorry about that love."

"It's fine. What was the problem?" he asked. 

"First off, it wasn't a problem. Second off, now why would I tell you when that would ruin the fun?" David hummed. He didn't think that would work but it was worth a shot. "Anyway, how about you open your present?" The ginger put down his coffee mug and picked up the box. It was fairly light and the box looked like it was for jewellery. He wasn't much of a jewellery man. He opened the box, revealing a small circular piece of metal that seemed to have a soft glow to it. It looked like the device he used to give him a completely new body to anyone who looked at him but a lot newer. The piece he stole was at least a good five years old by this point. 

"Is this what I think it is?" he asked, carefully taking it out of the box. 

"A new and improved masking device? Yep! I helped develop the first edition of the technology-"

"-You never told me that-"

"- so I whipped up some new designs. Tim helped too. This one goes on the side of your neck, has more seamless masking, can change your voice and only turns off with your fingerprints. Just in case someone tries to look at your handsome face without asking." David smiled and gently returned it to the box before pressing a kiss against his lover's temple.

"Thank you, baby, I love it."

"Don't thank me yet. I have some other things for you but you'll have to be dressed first."

After getting dressed, Dick took the ginger's hand and lead him to the garage where they kept their cars, motorcycles and that one tank they stole. He handed David a blindfold before they could actually get to the bit where they parked their vehicles which the hitman put on reluctantly. "You're really going to like this one," Dick announced as he carefully led his boyfriend through the sea of cars. David could practically hear the grin on his face as he spoke. He wondered what it could be. Definitely too early for a party so he didn't have to put on a facade. Maybe it would be another tech thing like his first gift or maybe a new gun? He could do with a new one. Dick stopped and put his hands on the ginger's shoulders to move him slightly to the right. He hummed softly then ran away. "Okay, you can take your blindfold off now!" he announced. David took his blindfold off and blinked a few times to adjust to the light. He saw his boyfriend gesturing towards a black Harley-Davidson Breakout. His eyes went wide and he gasped, his eyes flicking between the bike and his lover just to make sure this was all real. "I'm guessing you like it," Dick asked.

"Baby, I love it!" David exclaimed. He pulled the acrobat into a hug with a bright smile and planted plenty of kisses all over his face, leaving his boyfriend a blushing flustered mess, before ghosting his hands over the new bike. Something like this was worth a pretty penny and even though he knew Dick was loaded, the fact he'd spared no expense just for him was honestly heartwarming. 

"S-so I sealed it with something to make the paint durable but no using it for work. You deserve a little something for private time," Dick explained as he battled to regain his composure. He expected a thanks but he genuinely didn't think it would be that big of a show. 

"It's perfect," David replied. 

"Good."

"Can I take it for a test drive?" he asked. 

"As long as you're back by 4 pm then I see no issue." David grinned, making the acrobat tut. "You're too easy to please, my love. I'll fetch your gear." He sauntered off to get the proper outfit for a day of motorcycling whilst the hitman thanked every power there was for putting them together. He couldn't ask for more.

After a day of showing off his birthday present and enjoying some alone time, David came back at four like he was asked to. Although alone time was great, he still wanted to spend most of the day with Dick. He pulled into the garage only to find the very person he was looking forward to seeing cleaning up one of their cars. Interesting since he never usually did the job himself. It was usually passed off to the newer gang members to keep them busy. Dick popped the hood and leaned over to make sure everything was working and there wasn't some sort of bomb just waiting to blow as soon as he started the engine. As he did, David parked the bike and came up behind him. He wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his head on the smaller's shoulder. "Hello to you too," the acrobat greeted. "How was your ride?"

"Great. Thanks for letting me go," he replied, kissing the other's scarred shoulder. It was a gunshot wound that he didn't know the story of. He didn't know the story for a lot of them but they were fairly obvious half the time. The stories he did know were a mix of haunting tales and hilarious anecdotes. He preferred the funny ones. 

"You didn't need my permission. Today is your day off so I can't boss you around," Dick told him. He took one last look before concluding there was nothing that would kill them. He straightened up and leaned back against David's chest. "Not that I do that much anyhow." He wiggled out of the ginger's grip, much to the hitman's discontent, and shut the hood before walking over to the scissor jack. He used it to lift the car up a bit so he could check the underneath. 

"What're you doing?" David asked in a slightly whiney tone. 

"I'm checking for bombs, trackers, general death dealers," he explained. He got onto the creeper seat and slid underneath the car with a flashlight in hand. David frowned and strolled over to the side he was working on, leaning against the car with his arms folded. 

"Baby, you're being paranoid," he huffed.

"It's your birthday, not your death day. Just this one check then we'll be on our way."

"Where to?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." This would probably be the surprise party he was dreading. He sighed and nodded.

The drive wasn't what David was expecting. Every location that could possibly host a party, they drove right past. Then they hit the highway out of town and he was really confused. He glanced over to his partner who was humming along to the song on the radio. Maybe he assumed wrong but he wasn't sure just yet. The other was flamboyant and always managed to surprise him but then there was another side of him that enjoyed the calm domestic side life had to offer. David supposed it couldn't hurt to ask. "Dick, can I ask you something?" 

"As long as it's not about the location then ask away," the acrobat replied.

"Is there no party where we're going?" Dick stopped humming and a sudden wave of panic washed over his face. It was the same look you had when you remembered you left your homework on your desk and it's due today. He kept his eyes on the road and smiled nervously, clearly trying to think of something to say.

"I thought you said you didn't want one," he answered. David put his hand on his thigh with a reassuring smile, squeezing it slightly.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I didn't want a party but I thought you'd throw one anyway," he explained swiftly. He watched the other relax under his touch and let out a relieved sigh. The acrobat must have put a lot of effort into the perfect day and he felt a little bad for giving him a fright. 

"But it's your birthday."

"I know but I'm sure you're aware that I've not had someone like you in my life before. I'm still getting used to you," he argued. Dick took a hand away from the wheel and used to bring the ginger's hand to his lips. He kissed the other's knuckles sweetly. "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me for treating you right." David kept his hand rested on Dick's thigh as he smiled to himself. This might just be the best birthday ever.

David dozed off in the car and when he woke up, it was from Dick lightly shaking him. Talk about deja vu from this morning. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and slowly took in his surroundings. It looked like they'd parked in a forest and he spotted a small stone path that presumably led to where their desired location resided. Other than that, he had no idea where they were. "Hey sleepyhead, enjoy your nap?" Dick asked softly. Although his tone was mocking, there was still a tenderness to it that washed over the hitman. He couldn't help but bask in the warmth they provided. "I got the bags inside whilst you slept but I don't think hauling your ass inside would've been the best of ideas." David tutted and got out of the car, stretching a little after the long car ride. He walked over to his boyfriend and swiftly put his arm around his waist to pull him close. "Clingy?" He rolled his eyes. "Aww don't be grumpy, birthday boy. You can hold me all you like." As they walked up the stone path, a small cottage that was nestled between a few big trees came into view. It looked old but well-loved. The ivy climbing the walls was well kept and tamed, the bushes in the garden were pruned and trimmed and the flowers were neat within their beds.

"A cottage?" David mumbled.

"You wanted something lowkey, sweetheart. This is as lowkey as it gets." David hummed to himself, taking in a deep breath. The air here just felt different and it was a welcomed change. He paused to look up at the sky where he could get a clear view of the stars twinkling in the dark. He always did like the night sky. There was always something so peaceful and comforting about it. It was always there even if he couldn't see it quite as clearly as he could now. "David? You alright?" He nodded and looked down at his boyfriend. "There's a fire pit in the back. We can watch the stars there." He smiled to himself at the suggestion. Dick really had planned everything perfectly. "C'mon I'll go set it up then get you some hot chocolate."

So there they were. Sitting in front of a crackling fire and drinking hot chocolates, making a few smores and feasting on the other treats Dick had brought. It was so calm out in the woods. Dick was curled up on David's lap despite the abundance of chairs around them but neither of them would dare to suggest he move. He rested his head on the crook of the other's neck with his hand on his chest. "Do you like it here?" he asked softly. David hummed and nodded, melting under his touch. "Good. This is your birthday present." His eyes went wide and he looked down at the acrobat in shock.

"Seriously? You bought me a house?"

"A cottage my dear," he corrected as though he hadn't just revealed he'd bought a property for his boyfriend. "And I did. I know you like the quiet and I thought this way you could take your bike up here and stay for a bit if you need to. Plus I know where you are just in case." The hitman stayed silent for a moment, speechless. He didn't know how he was supposed to react. Someone cared about him this much that they spared no expense to make him happy. It was so wholesome and caring. A whole cottage in the woods, a bike he adored to get there and an upgrade on a device he relied on to save his life countless times. "David?"

"I really love you," he choked out, trying to stop himself from crying. Hearing his tone, Dick moved so he could see the ginger's face. He cupped David's cheek with his hand, running his thumb over the other's scar. 

"I love you too sweetheart."

"You really have made this the best birthday I've ever had. I don't know what I can do to make up for it." The acrobat smiled and connected their lips in a brief sweet embrace. 

"You don't need to make up for anything. You've saved my ass countless times and I don't know what I'd do without you. This is just part of my thanks." He gave him another kiss and then settled back down to where he was before. He felt David begin to play with his hair and smiled to himself. "I'm just glad I make you happy." He soon drifted off to sleep in David's arms as the hitman continued to stroke his hair. This was certainly a birthday to remember.