Alfred_Is_A_Badass wanted some Jay/Roy and I kinda went off

TW: DRUG ADDICTION//WALLY'S DEATH MENTIONNED 

https://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/other-services/Drug%20addiction%20support/LocationSearch/339

https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/alcohol-drug-hotline

Jason wasn't mad, he was well and truly pissed. He'd found his boyfriend's stash. No not a stash of secret money nor a stash of porn magazines. No, what he found was a stash of weed and Xanax that he definitely hadn't been prescribed. Granted, Jason had his own opinions on weed. He knew that people found some medicinal benefits from it. But those people weren't previous addicts to hardcore drugs as Roy had been and those people weren't taking them in combination with another downer. At the end of the day, drugs were drugs and all this was a big no-no to an ex-drug addict. Jason shivered at the thought of things going back to that again, he didn't like to think about it. So he was pissed. Roy was smart so he knew this was a possibility if he got back onto the drugs scene. He was also smart enough to know that Jason would eventually find it. It was in his place too. The fucker really thought he could bring that into his home. Obviously, he wasn't going to let that happen without him bringing it up, fighting about it and then leaving dramatically because that's how all good couples worked through issues.

Right now, Jason was texting Dick. He was the only one he could think to talk to about this. He was open-minded but also reasonable. He was probably the only one that could stop him from murdering the ginger idiot. He planned to go over there for the night. Sure he absolutely refused to be part of the shitshow that was the Wayne "family" but they came in handy sometimes. Especially when Dick knew Roy since they were kids. That and he was protective so he could probably do Roy some damage if asked to. 

Dickhead: CCTV spotted him heading your way 

Dickhead: He looks high so good luck talking to him

Dickhead: please don't kill him or I'll never hear the end of it.

Oh, that was going to be very hard but Jason was going to use the rest of the year's worth of patience. He couldn't believe how angry he was. He hadn't been this mad since...well he was almost always this mad but still! Somehow he'd broken through his Richter scale of anger and found a whole new level. He didn't bother texting the acrobat back. He'd probably break his phone. He couldn't sit still, the frustration building. He was on pins just waiting to sink his teeth into the fuckwit he called a lover.

A mere five minutes later he heard the sound of the key entering the lock. Well, more accurately he heard the metal of the key clank against the lock a few times before actually going in. This was followed by the sound of dazed giggling before there was a click and the door was open. Roy practically fell inside the apartment, his grip on the handle only just tight enough for him to keep himself from the floor. He turned back to get his key and then shut the door. He leaned against the wood and let himself slide his way down to the floor. "Where've you been?" Jason snarled. He got up off the couch when he didn't hear a reply. He stalked over to the obviously high man and stooped down, clutching his collar and dragging him up to his feet. "Where have you been?" he asked again. 

"Out Jayyy. What's up your ass?" the archer responded, clearly not understanding what was going on. He's just been caught and he was none the wiser. It was a miracle he got here without walking into traffic or getting thrill-killed. 

"You're pathetic," Jason growled. He threw the man to the floor. "What was it, Roy? What made you decide to say fuck my progress? Because I can't fucking follow your fucked up logic!" Roy squinted his eyes, blinking slowly. Maybe now he was getting it. That was debatable though.

"Just having fun."

"Oh? Oh, you're having fun! Well, now you've said that," he replied snarkily. He hated that at this moment, seeing Roy's higher than a kite face, he felt sympathy. He didn't want to feel bad for this guy. The ginger chose to go back to the drugs. Everything was just a whirlwind of feelings and God knows he sucked at dealing with those. He felt tears bubble up in his eyes but anger swelled in his heart. Why couldn't he just pick a side? Anger and sympathy was the worst combination. 

"Baby-"

"Shut up!" he screamed. "Just shut up! You had the help if you wanted to go back to this bullshit. You had me!"

"Had?" the archer repeated. He looked like that single word sobered him up but that wasn't true. He was repeating it because he was confused not because he sensed what was going on. He said baby not to comfort his boyfriend but probably to ask him some dumbass question about why tomatoes were considered fruits. Jason hadn't even really meant to imply that they were over but he'd made him feel so horrible and this was just such a frustrating problem that he was going to stick with it. 

"Yea, had," Jason snapped. "We-we are done. I'm not going to suffer through seeing you turn your life to shit. I won't sit here and pretend like this doesn't hurt!" He once again plucked the man from the floor because the next words that would leave his mouth he needed to make sure he heard. "Roy, I love you but I've died before. Seeing you kill yourself will kill me again." 

The anti-hero harshened his glare then shoved Roy back and watch him trip over his own feet. It was absolutely pathetic. He hated it and he wasn't going to allow his second chance of life to be centred around someone who clearly didn't get it. No, he wouldn't get it. He never would. "See you around."

"Jay wait!"

"What? Are you going to tell me the same bullshit you told Oliver? The same bull you told Dick? The same lie you told me?" Roy licked his lips nervously, trying to connect with some part of his sober mind. The sight was almost funny. His panicked look was dulled by the drugs. 

"I-I'll get sober again. Yea I will! Then we'll just- it'll be good again right?" he blurted out. It was just a feverish jumble of words Jason had heard before. A repetition of arguments and empty promises. 

"Oh save it. Sober the fuck up then get your shit out of here." He went to the door and took one last look at the ginger who was trying to stagger over to him. He shook his head and walked out.

When he got to Dick's apartment, Jason was on his last leg. He was minutes from a breakdown and could've cried when he saw the older open the door with a comforting smile. It reminded him of when he was a kid. Their time together had been short but he'd always wished it'd been longer. He'd only gone to the acrobat's apartment a few times. Mostly when he'd been pissed at Bruce for something that right now he couldn't remember. He'd spend a night or so in Dick's room whilst he slept on the couch. "Come on in Lil Wing, the pizza just arrived and I've got beer in the fridge," he greeted, opening the door further so the younger could trudge in. He walked over to the couch and threw himself down, his legs dangling over the arm of it. He heard the older lock the fifty locks he had on his door and rolled his eyes. The guy was a vigilante. If someone was going to rob him, they'd be very sorry about it. "Boots off. I'm not having you dirtying up the furniture." He groaned dramatically and kicked them off. Dick laughed it off, nothing new there, and picked the boots up to put them by the door. He then walked to the kitchen and grabbed two beers whilst his unofficial brother got a slice of pizza. He passed him the drink before sitting down. For a moment they sat in comfortable silence. Jason needed it. The dull noise from the show on TV was enough for him. He knew Dick was waiting on him to say something first but he was still thinking about what there was to say. There was no pressure thankfully. 

"This is fucked," was all he found to say.

"Yep. Definitely pretty fucked."

"I mean the guy gets off heroin the fucking behemoth of drugs and then says y'know what I've not suffered enough let's go. Oh and fuck my friends and family! My boyfriend too!" He sighed. "Not like he's been through enough." He sat up and took a sip. Drinking beer and laying down had proved a bad idea enough times for him to learn. 

"It's tricky Jay, I won't lie. He clearly wanted to go back but a trigger is difficult to find if he's off his face," Dick replied. 

"No kidding. Like can he not see that he's killing himself? He has to." 

"People are funny like that. They do the most dangerous things to feel something. I mean, look at us," he pointed out. They were no saints to the "this thing may kill me but let's do it anyway" game. Still, they did it for others. They were helping people. Maybe they weren't making the world much better but they weren't letting it get much worse. "But Roy has always been this way. Destroying himself. Drove us mad, still does."

"If you breathe a word of what I'm about to say next I'll kill you," Jason prefaced. The older smirked and nodded. "I really love Roy but seeing him do this to himself it's going to kill me. I broke up with him because I can't see someone I love do this to themselves. How the fuck am I supposed to stick around and deal with that? How's a person supposed to go on when the person they love practically kills themselves?" Dick cackled sadly and glanced over to a picture of him and Wally together, making the younger instantly realize how insensitive that was. "I-"

"You learn to live without them. Fill the places they left with what you can and cover up the cracks the best you can," he replied. "What I will say though is you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. Most importantly, you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. You don't have to stick around until they get to the headset of understanding that." Jason teared up a little and Dick, like the loving brother he was, pulled into a much-needed hug. "It'll be okay."

They stayed on that couch, chatting and eating pizza. They went out on patrol together and, although it wasn't as good as the ones they had when they were both younger, it was fun. It was around one in the morning when they came back and it was only shortly after returning that they heard a knock. Dick raised an eyebrow since he hadn't expected anyone to come round other than Jason. He glanced to the anti-hero who shrugged in return. He walked over to the door and looked through the peephole, his face twisting in disgust. "It's Roy. What do you want to do?" he asked.

"Kill him."

"Other than kill him," Dick clarified.

"Does he look sober?" 

"For the most part. Looks like shit I'll be honest but who wouldn't after coming down from whatever cocktail he had." He leaned against the door patiently whilst Jason thought about his next move. 

"Can he hear us?" Dick shook his head. Right, soundproof door. "I'll hide in the bedroom. You talk to him. Give him ten minutes and if I don't come out, kick his ass out." The acrobat nodded and cracked his knuckles as he waited for the other to disappear into his bedroom. When he was successfully hidden, Dick unlocked the door and opened it with a glare. 

"What brings you here? There are no dealers in this apartment block and I don't have any evidence you can snort," he greeted coldly.

"So you know?" Roy said defeatedly.

"Indeed I do. Don't make me ask again Roy. I'm not in the mood." The archer nodded.

"I-I really fucked up and I need your help. You're the only guy I have left to turn to," he insisted. He was doing those stupid puppy dog eyes that always made Dick cave in. What was it with the gingers in his life being able to get away with doing those stupid eyes? He really needed to stop falling for it. He let the man inside and shut the door, not locking it in case he needed to shove him out again. 

"Why'd you go back to it?" he asked. 

"For fun I guess?"

"That's not the answer I want. Try again." Roy gulped and cast his gaze to the floor.

"I was getting memories. Doubts about it. Jason has been through enough that-that if I went through with what I was thinking about it would break him."

"Then see a psychiatrist. I want to know why you chose drugs so stop stepping around the issue or I'll throw your ass out and you'll have no one." Dick hated being so harsh but it'd always gotten him results in the past. He needed those results right now if he was going to save the scraps of the relationship left over. 

"Because it's always worked! Don't play dumb Dick, you know talking doesn't help. It doesn't make anything better it just highlights all the shit you tried to ignore and then you go home feeling worse than you started. People don't understand what we go through." 

"Why didn't you tell Jason? He of all people would understand it," he inquired.

"I felt...weak. He died Dick. Sort of trumps all issues I have."

There was silence before Dick sighed. God he wished Wally was here. It'd be so much easier if he was. "So tell me how you're going to make it better hm? Any idea on how to back-peddle from Fucked Town?" he inquired. 

"I don't know." The door to Dick's bedroom was thrust open and Jason stormed out with a furious expression on his face. Roy's eyes went wide as saucers and looked to Dick to make sure this was real. Considering he was also looking at Jason, he guessed this wasn't some sort of hallucination and was indeed real. He didn't know which would be worse if he were honest. 

"You don't know?" Jason shouted. "Oh, I don't know maybe start with taking responsibility for yourself!"

"What do you want me to say? I know I messed up and I know I shouldn't have done it," Roy responded. He was desperate, that was clear, but he wasn't saying the right things. Did he even know the right things to say? It was like trying to hack a computer but he'd burned the manual beforehand. 

"Ugh, you don't get it! If you die then I'm blaming myself for that shit and I'm not going to live my life like Dick where I blame myself every day for something someone else did to themselves! You won't be my Wally killing yourself and leaving me alone!"

"Woah okay let's not bring other people's trauma into the argument," Dick pitched in, putting his hands up to halt the crossfire. Jason huffed out an apology but he was given a pass this time. Next time he would not. He was lucky Dick was feeling particularly considerate. The pair went silent and almost looked to him as a way to fix the mess. He and Wally had been somewhat of a figurehead for what it meant to have a good relationship. Surely he'd know what to do. Sensing this, Dick thought for a moment. He ran through a few suggestions before he found one he thought would be the most likely to work. "Okay let's do this. Roy, you get off the drugs properly. No white-knuckling, no cold turkey. You did it properly once, you can do it again. You'll take a surprise drug test that I will administer when I see fit and if you're clean you two get back together. Jason, no contact with Roy and I mean none. No forgiving him, no giving him any chances. If he's not clean, you stay broken up. Both of you understand?" They nodded. "Great. Now Roy, get the fuck out and Jason you go to bed. I will be sleeping on the couch and trying not to remember my dead boyfriend."

"Sorry for bringing him up again," Jason muttered. 

Smash cut to Jason's apartment about six months later

It had been a while since Jason saw Roy and although he knew it was for the best, he couldn't help but miss the ginger. He was still mad at this whole situation happening and he'd already put Roy's dealer in a coma but he couldn't stay mad forever. At least not with him. Bruce potentially but not his boyfriend. Dick also didn't tell him when the surprise test would be, saying he didn't want him to get his hopes up if things went south. He hated that. He hated not knowing. Being stuck in a limbo of whether he could stay with Roy or would have to spend his second shot of life without him. 

As he was thinking about it all, there was a knock on the door. He raised an eyebrow and tried to ignore the little skip his heart made when he thought about the prospect of it being Roy. There was no one else it could be. He grabbed his gun before looking through the peephole to make sure this was actually someone he knew and lit up upon seeing it was indeed Roy. He put his gun away and began unlocking the door. Whilst doing this, he tried to compose himself since he wanted the higher ground emotionally. He knew his worth and he didn't deserve the shit he'd gone through because Roy decided he'd put himself in the shit. He opened the door with an unamused look and leaned against the door frame confidently. "So you pass your drug test?"

"Yep. Nothing in my system. There won't be anything from now on," Roy replied awkwardly. "Are we good?" 

"You're a fucking idiot, y'know? Acting like a teenager," he muttered. Then he pulled the archer in for a  hug and smiled upon feeling that warmth that was unique to his boyfriend. Roy hugged back just as tightly, perhaps even tighter, and let out a light laugh.

"Take that as we're back together."

"You're on probation still."

"Yeah thought so."