PT 2 AFTERCARE TIME

EDIT: TW BLOOD//PANIC ATTACKS

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-a-panic-attack

https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/mental-wellbeing/anxiety-and-panic/how-to-deal-with-panic-attacks

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/panic-attacks/

The Manor wasn't the same without Dick in it. Despite being so stressed, he always knew how to keep the mood light. He cracked jokes at the right time and always knew how to cheer them up. He was also the only person who could get Damian to stop crying when Ninjago failed to quieten him down. After his run-in with the Joker, Dick had to stay in the hospital until he was cleared. They'd found more injuries that hadn't been easy to see when Batman saved him so he was forced to stay there for much longer than previously thought. Jason was bored, soon growing antsy from the lost sleep thanks to the baby next door. Somehow the cries penetrated every part of the house no matter where you were in it. Bruce hadn't been home much but now he actually had a reason to. He spent most nights at the hospital, convincing Dick to sleep there despite his insistence that it would be a hassle if a nightmare decided to ruin his night. To cover up his absence at school, Bruce said that he was being homeschooled briefly to see if that learning style was better for him. That gave Dick plenty of time to heal and recover without school hovering over his head. 

"Whatcha doing Timmy?" Jason asked, walking in on the younger scribbling on a big piece of paper. Tim beckoned him over with a bright smile and held out a crayola marker for him. He took it and sat down on the floor. "I'm making a banner for Dick. Bruce said the surgery went well and if it stays that way then he'll be home by Thursday. Turns out his appendix needed to be removed," he answered. 

"Jesus, that guy is falling apart," the older muttered. He decided to colour in the K in Dick's name and tried his best to keep in the lines. He always struggled with that. It was just so easy to go outside of them. 

"He has been stressed lately. The brat doesn't help," Tim reminded him. Neither of them liked Damian that much. If someone was going to kill the kid, of course, they'd save him. That didn't stop them from wanting to strangle him when he decided that he only wanted his eldest brother and anyone else was trash. So much for terror twos, this kid was just a terror. 

"It's his own fault. No one told him to take on everything B does and not say shit until months later."

"Oh don't talk like that. He was just trying to keep the peace. Not everyone can be a loudmouth like you Jay," Tim defended. "Besides, we probably could've done something to help. It wouldn't have been that hard to take on his homework and you could've-"

"Yeah yeah I get the idea," he interrupted, waving his hand dismissively. They sat in silence for a few moments as they continued to colour.

"We should make it up to him. From what I've heard, he's not going to be back in school by the end of this term and I don't think B will let his friends over. Especially Wally," the smaller suggested. It wouldn't be that hard to make up for all the hard work Dick did. 

"Is our bet still going on those two?"

"Yep. Roy says it'll be a few more years yet. Anyway, what do you think? Fancy using up all your kindness for the year?" Jason thought for a moment. He supposed he could do that. Besides, Bruce was going to be doing overtime trying to suck up to get in his good books. 

"Fine, I'll bite. I'm still gonna taunt him if I get the chance."

"I wouldn't expect any different."

"Stop fussing, I'm fine," Dick snapped. Bruce kept asking him if he was okay the entire drive home and it was getting annoying. The hospital was annoying too. The nurses always kept the lights on and they were always doing tests on him at all hours of the day. The surgery left him sore and the painkillers made him feel gross. The bed was uncomfortable too and surprisingly seeing the same four walls for the last few weeks got old fast. 

"Are you sure?" Bruce asked.

"Stop asking me that or I'll pop a stitch showing you how annoyed you make me," he growled. The limo went over a bump and Dick let out a yelp as his body jostled. Despite being given the all-clear to go home, he wasn't fully healed yet. "Dammit."

"Are you-" he was silenced almost immediately by his ward's glare. "I'm just worried. You're acting unlike yourself."

"Oh?" the younger spat venomously, his tone short and harsh. 

"Well, you're usually quite affectionate at moments like-"

"Oh, so now that I'm not reacting the way you want me to there's suddenly a problem? I'm not nine anymore. I just wanna get home and sleep," he interrupted. He knew he was being too mean. The older was only trying to help. Trying to get him to open up. They'd been rocky since Bruce asked how exactly he was captured by the Joker. It was just for the mission report but it made the acrobat feel...ashamed. He couldn't describe it. He shouldn't have been caught so easily but he was and the thought of admitting that made him feel sick. He'd tense up every time Bruce made an attempt to know. Of course, he could've lied but Bruce would know that. He knew everything sooner or later. Dick didn't want him to know yet or ever so he'd either change the subject or tell him he wanted to be alone. 

"Dickie, something is up. I've known you for five years. Just tell me so I can help."

"Something is up? No shit. I'm in a wheelchair for the next month, every five minutes it feels like my body is trying to implode, I'm exhausted and worse of all you're putting on this fatherly act. Cut the crap B, you're only giving a shit because you're guilty that I had to look after your kids," he responded, folding his arms across his chest. 

"I appreciate you've been stressed but you can't talk to me like that."

"What're you gonna do? Ground me? I'm already bed-bound. Gonna take my TV? Gonna take my phone? Do it. I don't care!" He turned, albeit painfully, and turned his attention to the landscape rushing past them. 

"Richard, I'm going to give you one more chance to tell me what's going on or you'll be spending your recovery cooped up in your room and I'll make sure the boys don't talk to you."

"Then I better get used to the quiet then, hm?" Bruce shook his head and went on his phone. Of course, he'd give up. Dick didn't know why but that hurt him. He wanted the billionaire to leave him alone but he also didn't. He wanted Bruce to keep pushing and pushing until he forced his way through and found out why he felt so shitty. But then again, this was Bruce. He only tried that hard when it came to work. Anything else wasn't worth it apparently.

Tim and Jason waited anxiously by the door, excited to see their brother again. They hadn't been allowed into the hospital since they were banned from visiting. It wasn't their fault that guy's life support plug was in the only plug socket and looked exactly like Bruce's phone charger. The banner they'd been working hard on was put up and they had party poppers at the ready for when Dick came through the door. Unfortunately, Dick's foul mood hadn't been left in the car. When the door opened, they popped their party poppers and the bang made Dick jump causing a wave of pain to run through his body, making him whine and hunch over until it stopped. "I'm so sorry! I didn't think- are you okay?" Tim asked, worried running over. He went to put his hand on the older's back but a glare stopped him right in his tracks. 

"I'm fine," he answered sharply. 

"Be nice," Bruce warned. Dick mumbled something under his breath and sat up slowly though he still seemed in pain. His jaw was still clenched shut. "I'm helping you to your room then you're going to sit there and think about what you've done."

"Can't wait."

"Hold on, what happened? Dickie's in trouble?" Jason asked. Admittedly, he was a little too excited about the older getting into trouble since it wasn't very often it happened. He loved drama. Maybe a little too much but they'd cross that bridge when they came to it.

"Bruce annoyed me and I annoyed him back but because I'm the child I get in trouble."

"You were being needlessly rude," Bruce corrected. "Dick was speaking to me in an inappropriate way so, despite his condition, he'll be punished for it."

"But he's been working so hard for ages!" Tim interjected. "You've snapped at us when you're tired and he's probably still annoyed that you just up and left us with everything over work." The billionaire sighed. He supposed he had been pushing the poor acrobat and he shouldn't be so hard. He just didn't know what to do. He tried being comforting and he tried being stern. What else was there? A mix of both would just be confusing. 

"Tim, don't bother. I just wanna go to bed anyway," Dick said.

"Dude, we haven't seen you in ages and you want to spend your first day back in your room?" Jason pouted.

"Yea I do," he replied bluntly. "What's so hard to understand about that?" The younger pair glanced at one another worriedly. He didn't sound like himself. 

"That's enough. When you want to explain yourself and apologize to your brothers and me then you can come out of your room. Not a moment before," his mentor lectured.

"Bite me."

No one spoke to Dick and he didn't speak to them. Alfred came up to change his bandages and gave him one of those looks. One that urged him to say what was causing him to be so upset. Dick just shook his head. He didn't eat much of his dinner either which did nothing to ease the family's worries about him. Bruce went to say goodnight to him but he was already curled up with his back away from the door. He assumed he'd gone to sleep early so he just sighed and went to bed. He supposed they could fix things in the morning.

Screaming broke through the silence of the night and everyone woke up with a fright. Bruce lept out of bed and ran to his eldest's room since he knew that scream anywhere. It had been unfortunately engrained into his memory from the poor boy's nightly night terrors back when he first came to the Manor. Dick hadn't screamed that loud since for years which only freaked the billionaire out more. He was met in the hall by two equally freaked out boys but he didn't waste a second greeting them. Within seconds of leaving his room, he swung open the door to Dick's room and ran inside to his bedside. Jason and Tim followed him in but kept their distance. They didn't like seeing their brother so distressed but they also couldn't stay in their rooms whilst shit went down. It felt wrong. Dick thrashed in his bed, the heavy covers having been thrown off at some point during the night. There was usually a build-up to his night terrors. It would begin with small murmurs followed by slight twitches only to end up in shouts and crying. He wasn't usually this loud which made them even more suspicious about his odd behaviour before. "Dickie, I'm gonna have to restrain you so you don't hurt yourself. I promise this is for your own good," Bruce announced before he held the boy's wrists together. There were already specks of blood seeping through Dick's pyjamas. In his frantic movements, he must've reopened his wounds. He shook his head from side to side and cried. He was deaf and blind to the world when he was having terrors. Everyone preferred when he sleepwalked. He was funny and innocent. He'd just stroll around and you could have a very unusual conversation with him whilst leading him back to bed. Dick screamed again and kicked his feet with extra vigour. "No! I don't!" His sentence trailed off into whimpers. 

"Shh, it's alright. I'm right here. This will all be over soon," his mentor assured him. 

"Joker no! Please!"

"He's not here. It's just me and your brothers." Dick opened his eyes but he wasn't awake yet. They were just open rather than seeing. However, it was progress. "That's it Dickie. It's just a dream."

"Can't- stop!" 

"He should be further along by now. Why isn't he?" Tim asked no one in particular. He hadn't seen the older so bad but by this time he was usually on the cusp of waking up. A few more kicks and he'd be awake, still upset but at least then they could comfort him. Right now he was trapped in his sleep and no matter how much they called to him, he wouldn't hear. They were playing a horrible waiting game.  

"Whatever made him so snappy could be making this worse. Something to do with Joker maybe?" Jason theorized. 

"He's been off with me since I asked him how he was taken. I just needed to know what happened before that for the case file but he just shut me down," their guardian mentioned. It'd been so odd to see his ward hide such trivial information. He couldn't see the issue. It wasn't like Dick had just happily gone along with Joker, there was knockout gas in his system. Something happened that couldn't be found in the toxicology reports. That couldn't be good. "Dickie, we're right here. Everything's going to be okay." Dick's frightened blue eyes stared straight through him. Bruce wondered why he offered the words of comfort because they fell on deaf ears. It was more reassuring to him than the teenager having a fright of a lifetime. 

It took much longer than any of them would like for Dick to shock himself awake. His unfocused eyes slowly zoned in on Bruce's grip on his wrists. "What?" he croaked, confused. Why was his face wet? Why was his pyjama shirt sticking to him in places? Why couldn't he breathe? Why was Bruce holding him so tightly? Why did he look so worried? "B?" he asked breathlessly.

"You had a night terror. A bad one," his mentor explained. Dick hardly registered that information. He couldn't breathe. He should be able to breathe. Night terrors right? He had them more often than not. He never woke up this breathless. Or did he? No no. He knew this feeling. It was familiar. Bad familiar. He could hear his heart thumping in his ears and felt it pound against his head. He tried to catch his breath but it was so far ahead of him. He didn't know if he could. "Dickie, take a deep breath." He couldn't. He couldn't take a deep breath. "It's alright. It's going to be okay." Suddenly Dick remembered where he felt this before. He was in that alley. He'd yelled at Bruce then ran off and when he stopped he just couldn't breathe. He'd cried and tried to gulp down as much air as he could. Joker came and he remembered screaming at his body to move. To run. It'd stayed in the same place. "Richard, listen to me," Bruce ordered in a commanding tone. It caught the acrobat's attention immediately. "Deep breath in through your nose for four seconds. Do it with me." Dick hiccuped and nodded, trying his best to do as he was told. "Hold your breath for five seconds." He tried to, his hands balling into fists during his attempt. "Then out through your mouth for six." He let out a shaky breath. "Great. We're going to do that a few more times okay?" 

"D-dad," he stuttured.

"Concentrate on breathing chum. Everything is going to be okay. Tim, do me a favour and get a first aid kit. Jason, can you check on Damian for me." They nodded and ran off to do their jobs, leaving the pair alone. "It's going to be alright Dickie. Just keep breathing. I'm not going anywhere." Bruce loosened his grip on his wrists and instead held his hand to make sure the younger knew he wasn't leaving. 

For the next few minutes, it was just Dick breathing until he was somewhere near normal. He looked completely wiped out by the time he could breathe without it hitching every other second. "Are you alright?" Bruce asked, moving some of the younger's hair out of his eyes. He got a low groan in response. Breathing like that couldn't have been good for his damaged ribs. 

"Happened again," he mumbled. He sounded mad or at least aggravated. 

"Again?" Bruce could hear the slight wheeze in a voice which made his heart speed up. He didn't like that wheezing. The doctors told him that there'd be some wheezing every now and then but it shouldn't be considered a problem unless he was coughing up blood. "Dickie, what do you mean again?" 

Jason, who was holding a crying Damian at arm's length, and Tim returned before he could get an answer. Tim clambered onto the bed with the first aid kit and presented it to his mentor who seemed to be having a silent staring competition with Dick. The latter of which looked at the billionaire dejectedly. "I brought Damian because he's crying," Jason stated, carrying his brother as though he were a bomb. 

"Why didn't you just leave him in his room?" Bruce asked. The situation was difficult to deal with already without a crying baby in there. 

"Well this is the problem room so I may as well bring another problem in," the younger replied matter of factly.

"Give him here Jay," Dick told him. 

"Are you sure? Don't you need a minute?" He shook his head and stretched out his arms so he could take the baby. With an unsure look, Jason gave him Damian and watched the baby go from loud crying to simple sniffles. "The little shit. Either you've got magic powers or he just hates me." Damian snuggled up to his eldest brother, his tiny hand gripping onto the material of his pyjama shirt. 

"Must've given him a fright," the acrobat mumbled. He yawned to himself tiredly as he let the younger settle in his arms. 

"You gave us all a fright," Bruce replied. "Now what did you mean by again?"

Dick stiffened up as he focused his attention on Damian. He was rather cute when he wasn't crying. His small hands balled into fists with the fabric of his shirt in between them. Sometimes he liked to wonder what he'd be like when he grew up. Would Talia want him back? Would she one day steal him away or would she let him choose? Would there be an apology for not being there? Dick liked to think there would be. Maybe one day she'd move away from that side of things but he doubted it. The most he could hope for was for her to work for them sometimes. She was probably a nice person underneath it all or maybe she wasn't a nice person at all. It never seemed fair to think of her like that and he'd never say such a thing in front of Damian but he couldn't help but think it. "It's happened before," he mumbled. Damian wasn't this heavy the last time he held him. Either he'd gotten heavier or Dick was simply weaker from his injuries. He sure felt that way. Weak. Having to have Bruce get him to do something so simple as breathing. Everything ached too. There were wet patches along his arms, on his sides and he was pretty sure there was one on his calf that felt like it was growing way too fast. He must've been moving a lot.

"Yes I'm aware of the meaning of again but when was the last time?" Bruce asked. He sounded worried. There was always someone worried. Was that how pathetic he was? So pathetic that everyone worried? He was definitely pathetic. God Joker had seen him looking pathetic. That'd be the talk of the town. Little Robin got too upset and couldn't even run. He let himself be caught. He must've. Surely his training would've kicked in and he would've done something. Anything! No. He just stood there, cried and was taken. It was his fault that everything hurt now. It was his fault he'd have plenty of scars to add to his collection. His eyes were stinging as they welled up with tears. Why did this make him feel so bad? He knew it was his fault and getting upset wouldn't change that. Being upset wasn't going to heal him. 

"Dick, you're crying," Tim pointed out. His hands hovered over Dick's arm like he was unsure of what to do. 

"It happened when Joker took me alright? Is that what you wanted?" he snarled. "I-I just ran and ran and I should've been able to catch my breath but I couldn't. I couldn't breathe and when Joker came I-I froze." 

"You had a panic attack, Dick. With all the stress you were under, that's normal. Why wouldn't you just tell me that?"

"Because it's pathetic. I'm a hero! I'm supposed to be able to defend myself!" Damian whined at him raising his voice, making him feel guilty. He stared down at the little one then at Bruce. "You should take him. Can't even hold him right." He held the baby out, his arms shaking from his weight. He couldn't even hold him. Failure. That was the perfect way to describe himself. Bruce took his brother from him and he returned his gaze to the bedsheets. 

"Richard, you may be a hero but you're still a kid. You experience much more stress than the average person your age. Something like this is to be expected quite frankly," his mentor assured him. He didn't feel reassured though. "I should've put more measures in place to keep this from happening."

"It's my own fault-"

"For fuck's sake, will you just listen to the shit you're saying? If someone talked to us the same way you talked about yourself, you'd deck them," Jason interrupted.

"Yea, give yourself a break. Also, you're gonna need to take your shirt off so I can see the damage. You're uh bleeding. A lot."

Over the next hour, Tim and Jason collectively tended to the acrobat's wounds whilst Bruce battled with their youngest. Dick remained quiet but they could tell he wanted some comfort. He'd lean into their touch ever so slightly with any chance he got but still seemed stiff. Reluctant. "I think you're pretty strong you know?" Tim mumbled as he rewrapped Dick's arm. He'd reopened a load of stitches in his thrashing and some of his bandages were better replaced than kept. He looked over to the younger. His blue eyes were dull, their spark subdued. He looked tired. "I know you don't feel strong but you are. You just pushed yourself too hard."

"I basically let Joker catch me. I'm not strong."

"Listen, we get you're upset but c'mon. Let's say it was one of us. We'd been stressed, we had a panic attack and Joker got the upperhand. Would you say it's our fault?" Jason reasoned. He shook his head. "Then why is it your fault?"

"Because I'm me. I'm supposed to be better," he replied. His eyes welled up and his bottom lip began to quiver. "I-I'm sup-supposed to be your big broth-brother. I d-don't get hurt." Tim shushed him and carefully pulled him into a hug. "I-I can-can't get hurt n-now. Not m-my turn to b-be the baby."

"Is that why you were being so defensive?" The older shrugged as he let himself relax in his brother's hold. It hurt but not being held would hurt much worse. He could deal with the physical pain for a little longer if it meant he was comforted in some way. He felt Jason put a hand on his shoulder, grounding him. "How about we take some of your chores for a while? Tim could do some of your homework too."

"I d-don't know. Not-not fair on you t-two."

"We can share the workload with Bruce. It's okay to be the centre of attention for a while," Tim offered. 

"You don't mind?" Dick sniffled.

"Of course not. You wanna lay down? We can do a Bat Bunch?" The acrobat cackled quietly but it brought new life into the room. Hope. 

"I'd like that."

Bruce returned from tucking in Damian and smiled upon seeing his eldest being hugged by his brothers. He noticed both Jason and Dick were asleep but Tim was awake. The younger reached out for him and he didn't need to be told twice. He walked over to the bed and Tim crawled out the way so he could be close to Dick. He guessed the boy could sense his want to be close just in case something happened. Upon finding a much bigger human heat pack, Dick snuggled into his side. He was much too tired to care right now. There was a little whine from this movement but he soon settled back down. Bruce brushed out his black locks with his calloused hand, gaining a sleepy smile of contentment. Tim nuzzled up to him on the other side and sighed happily when he felt the older's protective arm around him. He glanced at the time. He'd have to get up in a few hours to give Damian his bottle but he'd try to do it without disturbing the others. They needed the rest. Especially Dick. As he sat there, watching Dick's chest move up and down to remind himself his boy was right there with him, he promised the teenager something. He promised to do better. He wasn't sure how he'd do it and how he'd maintain it but he'd do it. Anything to stop this situation from happening again. His children didn't deserve that.