CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
'STUPID GIRL'

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THE SOUND OF THE PHONE RINGING ECHOED LOUDLY THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE as I rushed down the stairs to answer it before it cut off. It'd been four days now since the break in and all afternoon I'd been on the phone to the insurers. As far as I aware there wasn't anything of major monetary value that'd been broken, but it was better to find out from people who actually knew for sure, so I was hoping this would them finally getting back to me. However after waiting for hours to hear anything, I'd started to question why I even bothered. It'd been a bit of a wasted afternoon, to be completely honest.

Despite this, I had received some good news. Yesterday, the police came round to tell me the they'd tracked down the two unknown men and most importantly Colin as well. He'd headed up north to Edinburgh and stayed with a friend, presumably until the heat died down, but was arrested that morning before he could disappear anywhere else. I was so relieved I couldn't quite believe it. Finally, he'd been brought to justice, and I know I shouldn't say this just yet but with any hope, out of my life for good.

Once I'd stepped on the landing I quickly reached out for the receiver in a very unglamorous manner, knowing I only had seconds before it rang off.

I held it to me ear awkwardly, 'Hello?'

But it wasn't the insurers. It was someone who I'd been dreading speaking to and avoiding getting in touch with all week. It was my mother.

'Heidi, this is your mother speaking.'

I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach, 'M-Mum?' I stuttered, an ominous silence echoing at the end of the line. I managed to utter, 'I wasn't expecting you to call. Wh-what's going on?'

'You know exactly why I'm phoning, young lady...' my mum said in a deadpan voice as I fiddled with the phone cord anxiously.

'Well you're going to have to elaborate because I don't have a clue what you're talking about...'

'Don't you dare lie to me!' she suddenly raised her voice, 'You're telling me that you failed to notice the house being broken into and vandalised? Or were you were hoping your father and I would remain blissfully unaware of what took place, in our home by not saying a word!?'

Although the cat was well and truly out of the bag, I was afraid to say anything, 'I-I was going to tell you...'

'Oh, were you now?' she continued her reprimanding, 'We trusted you to look after our home, Heidi. Of course I had my concerns - your father and I both did - but we thought you were responsible enough to take this on. Obviously we were wrong. I mean, leaving the door unlocked? How more forgetful could you be, you stupid girl?!'

'I'd had a few drinks and I was tired, alright?! I wasn't thinking clearly.' I fired back.

'Well, at least you admit that.' Mum retorted.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Any normal parent would be nothing but concerned for their child if something like this had happened to them, yet here I was being slaughtered by my mother, no sympathy, no loving words, nothing. I really didn't like the condescending tone in her voice and was quick to hit back with something I didn't want to have to tell her, but had to be done;

'One of the men in the group I already knew. Just a couple of weeks ago, he spiked my drinks and tried to sexually assault me. You're saying this like it's all my fault. It's the ones who broke into your house you should be blaming here, Mum, not me!'

My mother didn't say anything for a good couple of seconds as she was probably trying to think of something to say back, but she eventually replied rudely, 'How do you always manage to get yourself into trouble? You never could behave yourself, could you?'

'And what do you mean by that?' I asked bluntly.

'Where do I start?' I could just see her rolling her eyes at the other end of the phone, 'You only just scraped through your studies, not that has improved at all since. Rather than studying for your exams you preferred to mess around doodling in that  sketchbook of yours and go dancing. You constantly went against rules, at school and at home. Hanging around with the wrong crowd didn't help. All of which led to having her, which was the peak of it of course...'

At that moment, something inside me snapped as I clenched my teeth in anger, my grip tightening around the receiver.

'What did you say?'

'Well, I hate to say it but it's true, isn't it? Had you had more common sense and hadn't gotten yourself involved with that boy in the first place, we wouldn't have had to cover up the result, would we? Do you have any idea how much stress you caused this family at the time, the impact it had on us?'

'Stress? You were stressed?' I was almost at breaking point, astonished that she would even have the nerve to bring this up, 'You sent me away and pretended like it wasn't happening. You sat back and watched as they took her away from me against my will. My own family, and you did nothing!'

'Oh, come on, Heidi, she was better off with people who could raise her properly. You know that!'

'No!' I interrupted her, angry tears threatening to fall, 'No, don't you dare try to act as though you gave a damn about anyone else but yourselves. All you cared about was you and your reputations; you couldn't stand the thought of people finding out the truth, the shame it would bring to the family. So you just brushed it under the carpet and removed the problem from your lives until it was over and done with. Did you ever once stop and think about how that would affect me?'

'It wasn't up for discussion,' she replied heartlessly, 'You were just a child yourself, how could you possibly handle the responsibility of looking after one of your own?'

'You didn't even give me the chance to try.' I spat.

There was an uncomfortable silence at the end of the phone.

'So what do you want me to say, eh?' I asked her, angrily, 'I'm sorry that I sometimes make the wrong decisions? I'm sorry I'm not like your beloved boys? I'm sorry I'm not fucking perfect?!'

'Right that's enough, young lady...'

'No, for once you will listen to me, Mother. You seem to forget I am your only daughter, I should hold a special place in your heart yet it feels like I am a total stranger in our family. I know you still haven't forgiven me for what I did but at least I tried to fix our relationship. I mean, if anyone should be holding a grudge it should be me. What you did was selfish and cruel and far worse than all of my sins put together. I will never, ever forgive you for that. And do y'know what? After this conversation, I don't even think want to speak to you again...'

'You don't mean that.' my mum responded coldly, 'You need us.'

'Do I?' I challenged her, 'I'm my own person, I don't need you anymore. You can stick your house and you can stick your money. As for you and Dad - the both of you can go to hell.'

And with that, I slammed the phone down on the holder as I breathed heavily, the level of anger I was feeling impossible to describe. I leaned back against the wall as everything seemed to close in around me, my thoughts spiralling out of control. I felt like I was going to be sick. Just as I thought I was about to completely break down, the front door opened and in walked Roger returning from work, looking as nonchalant as ever.

'Alright, love?' he smiled as he shut the door behind him. I didn't reply, only continued staring at the wall in front of me. He was quick to ask, 'You okay?...'

It was then I started to panic, 'I-I need some air.' I said shakily as I grabbed my coat and opened the door.

'What, why?' Roger asked as I walked out the front door and headed down the steps, 'Hey, hold on, where are you going?'

'Nowhere,' I answered way too quickly, the upset in my voice evident now, 'Just...just leave me alone.'

And so I rushed down the garden path and opened the gate, before legging it down the street to the nearest bus stop, ignoring the drummer shouting me to come back and with only one place in mind where I knew I could be alone.

-

Hello again everyone!

Sooo as you've probably already figured out this is the beginning of what Heidi has been keeping a secret and more will be revealed in the next chapter, although you can probably guess the gist of it.

It's a rather upsetting topic and is something that happened a lot in Britain, and around the world I'm sure, at the time, just something to be aware for the next chapter. My intention isn't to offend, and I promise I will try and approach it with as much care and respect as I can.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this part, another drama filled chapter but hey ho. If you did, please leave a vote and comment if you have the time, that would be amazing! Thanks for staying with me on, what has turned out to be, a very long story. This is leading somewhere I swear, it's much closer than you might think.

Lots of love,

Anna :-) x