*Sometimes I can't see, all the lights surrounding me*

"Tyler, could you pass the salt?" Her mother asks, looking up at her with a smile and a slight jerk of the hand. Tyler does so, her own face holding a small smile as she takes another bite out of her mashed potatoes. Most of them are spread out across her plate, and even though she's hungry she can't bring herself to actually eat anything. Don's words from earlier won't leave her alone. Maybe you should start working out more.

Her Dad clears his throat, looking over at her, "Tyler, could you pass the potatoes?"

She passes the mashed potatoes easily, looking up at her father and giving him a soft smile. It's clear that something's on her mind, but she doesn't want to say anything about it. It's not like she could even if she wanted to, Don's made it clear that talking to their parents about it is just something that can't happen. It'd ruin everything. So I have no one I can really talk to right now. Maybe I'll text Alise in a bit. She's pretty cool.

"Tyler, are you okay? You look sick. Did you get sick the other day?" Her mother asks in-between bites of food, looking at Tyler with a worried expression. Tyler shakes her head, trying to get the passive look off her face. They're noticing. Look natural, Tyler. Gosh, what's wrong with you? Can't you do anything right?

"I'm good." She tells her parents, smiling a bit wider and taking a big bite out of her food. The mashed potatoes feel cold in her mouth, but she doesn't say anything about it. Her parents are both nearly done eating, yet there she is, a full plate still in front of her, only bits and pieces eaten.

"Alright, well how was school? Did something happen?" Her father asks, looking over at her while chewing his food. Tyler looks down at her plate, pretending to eat some of her pork steak.

She shrugs, "I broke up with my boyfriend." The flat tone of her voice makes it seem common, everyday, the same as asking 'pass the salt'. It's no big deal. If I make it one, it'll be one. But it's not a big deal. It's not. I don't mind.

"Good, he was a no good boy anyways. I never did like him." Her father tells her, shrugging and eating the last bits of meat off of his plate.

"Honey! Oh, Tyler, I'm so sorry. Well, as long as your happier without him you've done the right thing. You're happier without him, right?" Her mother asks, looking over at Tyler with another worried expression. Her mouth can't seem to decide if it's a smile or a frown, and Tyler just shrugs at her, not really sure how she's supposed to respond. What am I supposed to say? I'll just wing it.

"Yeah, I'm good. He's dating Chel now. They like each other, and I figured it'd be awful for me to keep pretending." She takes another bite of her mashed potatoes before she laughs quickly, playing everything off as humorous, "Besides, I didn't really like him that much."

"Didn't you spend three weeks making him a Valentines gift though?" Her mother counters, eyebrows furrowing slightly.

Once again Tyler shrugs, trying to down play it and wishing that her mother would just drop the subject. "I dunno. I just...I thought I liked him, but it was just a crush. It happens, you know?" Leave it be, Mom, please. I really can't talk about this to you. You wouldn't understand and I can't explain how teenagers work to you.

"Oh, well, okay. As long as you're happy sweetie." Her mother tells her, going back to eating the rest of the food on her plate. She pushes back a strand of her thin blonde hair, and everyone tries to ignore the fact that she's still looking sick. Mom's always wondering if I'm okay, but why can't she just think of herself? God, she's sick as hell, and she never...she never tries to think of herself. I wish she would just be selfish like the rest of the world. It'd make everything so much easier.

They all sit in silence for a moment or two. Tyler eats more of her food, trying her hardest to finish her mashed potatoes. She doesn't even look at the meat, not wanting to have to try it yet, despite the fact that it's one of her favorites. The more I eat, the more I'll have to work out. I'm not looking forward to doing anything, so why make myself have to do more? I mean, it won't make sense. I'm just going to eat these mashed potatoes. Then I can leave the table and scrape the food off in the trashcan. No big deal. Not one at all. Natural. This happens all the time. No matter what she says to herself, it still doesn't feel realistic.

"So, did you hear that Don's getting a new job opportunity?" Her dad starts, looking around the table at his wife and daughter. His voice is loud against the silence of the room, startling almost.

Her mother looks up, a curious expression on her face, "Oh?"

Tyler doesn't say anything, already knowing about it all from Don. They think it's so good, but I bet if they knew what it really was they wouldn't approve. Of course they wouldn't. That's why we're always lying about it, making things sound so great...Mentally, she sighs, wondering when the lies would finally come out. You can only hold a lie for so long before you forget yourself.

"Yeah, he's out talking to the guys right now, eating supper with them. That's my boy. I'm so proud of him actually getting somewhere in life." Her father smiles real wide, and Tyler can't help but feel sick inside. He's so proud of both me and Don. Hell, both him and mom are. Yet they don't know what they're actually proud of, and if they did know, the wouldn't be proud at all. We're all liars. Just a group of liars.

"Yep, that's definitely good." Her mother says, smiling wide as she finishes the food on her plate. Tyler stands up, glad that everyone's done besides her. Perfect opportunity to get out of here. I need to breathe. There's too many lies hanging in this air to see properly, let alone talk to them.

"I'm done eating, is it okay if I excuse myself? I'll wash the table-wear later." Tyler promises, giving them a smile. The warning signs of a headache brew at the tips of her eyebrows, but she ignores it, wishing that everything could just somehow fade into nothing.

Her mother nods, smiling sweetly, "Alright. Why don't you go lay down, Sweetie. You still look sick." Part of Tyler wants to hug her mom, and the other part just wants to get as far away as possible, the lies eating away at her stomach.

"That's what I'm going to do. Thanks." Smiling still, she goes to the kitchen, grabbing her parent's plates and gently letting them rest in the warm water of the sink. Tyler scrapes off her own plate into the trash and puts it next to the other. A throbbing sensation draws her left hand to her head as she makes her away back to her room, grabbing a bottle of Ibuprofen on her way there. Dropping onto her bed, she swallows three dry before putting the lid back on it. "Ugh, I'm an awful daughter." She hides her head into her pillow, "Can I just stay here for the rest of my life? No more Don, no more parents, no more stupid fake friends at school...just a pillow, a blanket, and a bed. I like that."

No sooner than when she finishes talking to herself her phone rings, drawing her to leave her self made fortress and answer it with a half asleep, "Hello?"

"Hey girl, I'm glad I caught you." Alise says, her voice high and happy. "Do you think you could come by my house and help me out? Since we're buddies on this project, I wanna really get this right. You know, last two weeks of school, go all out, right? I'm getting clothes picked out, and I figured that if we're partners, we can pick stuff out together."

"Um...sure. Fifth street, right?"

"Mmhmm. I'll be waiting outside, you won't miss it." Alise giggles a bit, "Oh! I also have to talk to you about Chel, if that's okay. I mean, I haven't really known you that well and all, but she's just out of lines. She's always treated you like a dog, and it's kinda...stupid."

Tyler sighs, blowing a strand of hair out of her face, "Yeah. I can't do anything about her though, she's like a leech. If you want to go swimming, you'll have to deal with them or leave the water. So I'll deal, and later I'l burn her off."

"Isn't that a bit rude though?"

She laughs, "I guess. But that's what she does to me. And if I'm getting treated like that, why treat her any better? I'll be over in a bit, first I gotta do the dishes. Just wait and I'll be there, 'kay?"

"Sure thing. Bye, Tyler."

"Bye." She hangs up the phone, dropping it and throwing her head into her hands as she groans. "Ugh, why can't people ever let me be? If I choose to do something, I choose to do it. I'm not a baby." Even so, the fact that Alise has been so kind to her brings a half smile to her face, "At least I have a chance at a real friend though."

Walking out of her room, she gives her parents a smile. "I took some headache medicine and I'm starting to feel better. After I get the dishes done can I go visit a friend to help her work on a project for school? Her name's Alise, and I met her a couple weeks ago, but she's pretty sweet."

Tyler waits for her father to respond, and eventually he does, shrugging, "Alright, go ahead. Be home by nine thirty!"

"No later," Her mother adds, smiling as she folds laundry on the couch. "And make sure to dry the dishes before you go, please. I don't need anything getting water stains."

"Alright, thanks!"

She finishes the dishes quickly, giving her dad a peck on the cheek before running out. The second the door closes behind her she sighs, feeling tired once again. Since Don's borrowed her car she walks, making the trip as quickly as she possibly can.

Just as promised, Alise is sitting outside a large white house. For a moment Tyler doesn't know whether she's supposed to be surprised or if she's supposed to act like it's nothing. "Hey, girl! Over here!" Alise calls, smiling and waving at her.

Tyler brings a smile to her face, waving back slightly as she jobs the rest of the way up the street to her house. "This is where you live?"

"Yeah! Come on, let's go inside. It's a bit messy, so please excuse that. My mom made me clean a bit...but..." She laughs, walking up the steps to the house and throwing open the door dramatically. "Want something to drink? We've got soda."

"Nah, I'm good." Tyler tells her, walking up and trying to keep her face the same. Despite what Alise said, the house looks spotless, at least compared to Tyler's it does. The plush carpet, a soft white, looks absolutely clean, and if it wasn't for the frayed edges on the couches and a couple children's drawings on the walls, she could almost believe it was brand new. "Wow. Your version of messy isn't mine." Laughing, Tyler follows Alise as she walks up stairs to her room. "Your house looks great." Feeling awkward, her hands reach behind her while she walks.

"Thanks! I'm glad you believe so, at least. I'm a little OCD about cleaning, but it's not really OCD, ya know?" Alise shrugs, "It's more of I just don't like it dirty. But I mean, things get dirty, you know? All right, let's get to work, shall we? I've gotta get my clothing together. Something...different. You know, outspoken. What clothing speaks outspoken?"

Tyler shrugs, before looking down at her own clothing, "Something like what I'm wearing, perhaps? You know, stuff that shows who you really are. Who are you, Alise?"

She seems to think on that for a moment, tilting her head as she opens the door to her room, a bright pink and white door with several flowers on it. "I'm...me. Kinda crazy, kinda confusing, kinda awesome. At the same time I try to be a bit reserved, you know? I don't want to come off as someone I'm not. I don't want things to be confusing."

"Well, let it be confusing! Here, let me see your closet, I'll try to show you." Walking past a dresser that's completely dusted, though old, Tyler opens a door on the left of the room, revealing a brightly decorated closet. Shirts and dresses of all colors are there, as well as skirts, the majority of them all large. "Wow...why don't you ever wear any of this to school?" She looks back, and notices that Alise is sitting on the floor cross-legged, one hand behind her back and an awkward smile on her face. "Well?"

"I dunno...it's just...I don't want to make a show. A lot of people would think I look like a hippy or something, you know?"

"But you like them, don't you?" She counters, frowning and pulling out a long blue and pink flowered skirt. Smiling, she reaches in and pulls out a black undershirt and a small orange top. "Here! Throw this on real quick, let's see how it looks." Tyler turns around again to allow Alise to change, smiling slightly. I never knew how cool she was...damn. I'll have to borrow her clothes sometimes, she's got rippin' tastes.

After a few moments Alise taps her on the shoulder, "Um..."

A large smile brakes out on Tyler's face faster than a pimple on a preteen, and she nods wisely. "You look great in that! You should wear stuff like that. Mismatch it, whatever you feel is right. Okay? You can do it! Break away all those boundaries you have, and dress in a way that makes you feel beautiful! Something that, while can be modest, shows the world you. Outspoken. Someone people can look at and go 'wow! Isn't she beating the crowd?'."

Alise blushes deeply, "Thank you. I'll do that, Tyler."

"Good." Tyler starts to look through her closet again, pulling out several shirts of different colors along with skirts and a few skinny jeans she found hanging neatly in the back. "You'll look great. Last two weeks, really a great time to change it up."

She nods, "Yeah. Now, why don't we work on what you'll wear? There may not be much in your closet, from what I saw the other week when I was there, but you could probably fit into some of my older stuff, as you're about my height."

Tyler shrugs, feeling a bit awkward. She shuffles her feet, "I dunno. I don't really like borrowing things from other people, I'm kinda prideful and stuff..."

"You want a good grade though, don't you?" Alise giggles, running over to her dark brown dresser and pulling open several drawers. "Come on! Get over here. Modest...modest...well, I definitely can let you borrow some of my longer tees, and I've got a couple of non-skinny jeans in here too. They'll probably actually look really cute on you. They haven't fit me in a few years, but you're skinny as hell, so they might."

Tyler rolls her eyes, walking over slowly and sitting down next to her, watching as she pulls out several different colors and types of shirts, all long. "Why do you have so many of the same types?"

"They're all cheap at Walmart, and come for those two for one deals. My mom usually goes there to get some generic stuff, and then we buy the rest of my clothes at other stores, so it's hip, but I also have other clothing to wear and stuff so I don't look like a clone of the rest of the world." Alise shrugs, smiling slightly as she hands Tyler a couple pastel and light colored shirts, "These will probably work. I'm not certain on the pants, what's your size?"

"Seven." Tyler admits, rubbing the back of her neck like she's got a bite there. She keeps her gaze on the shirts, not wanting to look at the other girl.

Alise gives her a wide glance though, "Seriously? You look like you could easily pass for a four!"

"I haven't worn a four since I was fifteen! I'm too tall for them." She snorts, "I mean, I can't fit into them, waist wise either. My hips are too wide. I get that a lot though. But it's all about proportions. You can be healthy, or a little under that, and look like you're a size sixteen. Or you can be unhealthy and look size six. Or you can be me, and just barely make it in the health department, and have what some people would call a 'model's legs'." Tyler shrugs, picking up a pair of jeans and looking at the size. "You're a size five? Damn! I would've thought you to be a bit more than that."

Alise blushes again, "Yeah, it looks like it, doesn't it? It all depends though, like you said. You're a cool girl, Tyler. We should hang out more."

"Definitely. I'll have to get back soon, but thanks for letting me borrow the shirts. I think I'll be able to be okay with some of my sweats and bigger jeans." She leans over and gives Alise a short hug, "You're cool too."

"Thanks. See ya!"

"See ya!" Tyler repeats, holding the shirts and walking out. She leans on the banister on the way down the stairs, taking a long look at the house. Things are never what they seem, are they? I always figured she was a good girl, but never this good of one. Cleans, does chores, probably has a healthy relationship with her parents...She's too nice.

The way home is much longer than the way there, and most of the way she's got her eyes closed, dreaming of growing up being friends with her. Would I be different if I had more friends like her growing up instead of Chel and Don's friends? Would any of this be happening now if I hadn't thought people like her were just chumps who hated the world? Shaking her head, she walks back into her house, feeling different.

I guess things really are different. It's impossible to see with everything on top of you, but a breath of fresh air just...changes everything.