*All the places you'll never believe, sometimes I just need to breathe*

"Breathe, Tyler. Work through your nose. You can do it..." Don holds Tyler's back, keeping her steady as she coughs. "Gosh, calm down. Breathe. One-two-three, that shit. Come on, hurry up now..." He tells her, coughing a little bit himself. Tyler nods, trying to calm her racing heart as she wheezes. "Aw, Tyler, did it have to be tonight? I need this video, sis. Come on! You've gotta stop freaking out, okay, it was only four guys. You've done three before, what's the difference?"

Tyler gasps again, clearing her throat the best she can. "I never had all of them trying to get in at once! It hurt, Don..." She wipes at her eyes, starting to lean back up. Her legs tremble, and her body feels cold as the air conditioner hits her skin. Closing her eyes for a moment, she feels disconnected, as if the pain is all that could be there. Then the world shifts into focus again, and her thoughts collide. Dammit. Two more hours of this? "I'm okay, I'll try again. Sorry, Don, sorry...I know, I know this is a big deal for you. I'm working on it, okay?"

"Okay, but you better be ready, sis. You've gotta do better than this. This is exactly what I was talking about earlier with those guys. To make it big, we've gotta do bigger stuff. If you can't handle it, we can always switch you out for someone else. You know that, right?" Though he seems like he wouldn't mind if she just quit, Tyler knows that's not the case. God dammit, you know I can't quit! If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have even done this in the first place! Tyler nods to him, catching her breath again the best she can. "Alright, good. You wanna try again?"

"S-sure." She coughs one last time before standing up right, still holding onto her stomach with her left hand and her throat with the right. Tyler pushes her hair off her body, lone strands sticking to the sticky surface of her chest. "Alright, I can do this."

The other guys in the room sit on the couch still, watching her while they wait. One of them on the end calls out to her, "You sure you wanna do this?" His voice is deep, and Tyler shrugs at him, giving him the best smile she can. He pushes his blonde hair back as he gives her a toothy grin in return, "Nice, bitch. Alright, so, where do you want us to pick up off of?"

Don bites his lip for a moment, brows furrowed as he decides. Tyler watches him, slowly letting her hands drop to her sides. He grins after a moment, his dimples prominent, "I want you guys to take it up right whenever you started getting it all hot again. From that moment on, get it, and I want everyone to do their best. It needs to go faster, no more choking this time, and if you're lucky we might be able to fix up that choke scene into something equally delicious."

Everyone nods and once again starts it up. For the past two hours since school's ended, while their parents believe they're watching movies, they've been trying to film an hour long group session. Tyler's body already feels the effects of it, and four was already more than the one that was mentioned to begin with. A job is a job though. Beggars can't be choosers.

She sighs as cut is finally called, her throat slimy and coated with various liquids. Goddamn this new job. This is getting to be too much.

"Hey, great shots!" Don chuckles and begins to talk to the guys, and Tyler only hears bits and pieces of the conversation as she lies on Suzy's lap.

Suzy pets Tyler's hair, pulling out tangles with her long fingers. "You're looking better each time, sweetie. Don't worry so much about this. You teens are such drama queens. I mean, gosh, it was an orgy, nothin' more, sweetie." She laughs, pushing her hair away from her angular face. Despite her words, Tyler can't help but to see her like a mother, looking out and taking care of her. "See, the trick is to distance yourself. Sure, have all the fun you want. Free sex, man! Tasty. But in the big leagues, minor drugs aren't gonna help ease the pain. I can start you off on the heavy shit again if that helps."

A half smile forms on Tyler's face as she thinks about it, "I dunno. A bit too risky. I mean, don't wanna get addicted or nothin'."

"Aw, don't worry 'bout that. You're fine. Gonna try them or what?" Susy asks, pulling Tyler's hair up into a crooked bun, the sides still messed up. "Wait, nah, you gotta go home tonight don't you? Maybe next time then, okay? You're not a child no more."

She nods, forcing a smile onto her face. Come on, Tyler, quit being a baby. You've gotta help your brother.... "Alright, you're right. Little highs are nothing! I mean, yolo, right?"

"Definitely." Susy laughs as she lets go of Tyler's hair, watching as it brushes her shoulders before she picks it back up again. Tyler sighs, enjoying the feeling of being stroked but not exactly as comfortable as she'd like. Her legs have little cuts, hand prints, and bruises from earlier. Her neck is filled with hickeys, and she doesn't even want to know what happened to her back--or on it, for that matter. The high she had when they first began was so distant she could cry, and now only a dull throb pulsed through her, reminding her of how much she'll have to clean up before going home. Pain killers only work so long.

"Hey, Ty! These boys are heading home, go take a shower and I'll start cleaning up. Sound good?" Don asks, walking over and putting a hand on her shoulder. Tyler nods, giving him a short smile before using his arm to pull herself up. "Looked great out there, but we'll have to start hittin' the gym or something. Gettin' kinda fat there, Tyler."

She presses her lips together, "Okay." It's a short syllable, forced out. Can the insults, I'm helping you out, she wishes she could tell him. Instead, she goes to the bathroom, not missing the slap to her butt as she leaves him. The shower is quick and hot, and despite having washed her hair twice it still feels greasy as she towels herself off. Tyler smiles at her reflection, brushing her teeth while her hair dries. Then she starts to wash her face with the bottle of X-out left on the bathroom counter, glad to feel the icy coolness of it as it gets rid of the last remains of makeup and grime, keeping away any blemishes that could pop up.

A soft sigh escapes her lips as she pulls on her underwear, then another as she grits her teeth to put on her leggings, the smooth surface of her legs too bruised to just wear shorts. Luckily for her, or unluckily as she believes it, the bruises will be gone within a few days, they always do. Her shirt is stiff over her shoulders, and Tyler can't help but stare at her stomach, wondering if she should work out. She pokes at it through her brightly colored orange and red T-shirt. "Well, are you going to stay flat or will I have to ground you?" Tyler jokes, laughing a bit at herself.

Her joking comes with a bittersweet feeling that lies at the base of her tongue. Deep down she knows that her words bite at her, that she'll have to work herself to become what her brother wants. No matter how pretty she makes herself, how hard she tries to stay fit, it never seems to be good enough. There's always more he's pushing her to do, more that's clawing it's way down her body. Despite all of it though, she can't help but think he's right. He's only looking out for her, showing her how hard the real world is. How it'll be whenever she actually becomes an actress. I can't forget that. If I stop now then I'll just be a baby. I'll never hear the end of it.

Nodding to herself, Tyler shrugs her shoulders, popping them as her arms raise over her head. She stretches quickly before leaving the bathroom, once again joining Suzy and Don out on the couch. They sit talking in a low voice, and as she nears they end their conversation. "Hey, you're out. You take forever. Anyways, as we were just saying, we need to make a couple personal videos soon. Will you be up for that?"

Tyler nods, forcing a smile onto her face, "Yeah! Certainly. When do you need them by?"

Don appears to think for a moment, going silent. Tyler shifts her gaze to Suzy, who merely shrugs a little bit and gives her a cheeky smile. Don looks back up at her, his dimples showing again, "Could you get them to me by Saturday? Then, we can get the next video out by Saturday, and we'll be rolling."

By Saturday? God, how many does he need? Tyler asks just that.

"I need three, if that's good. One stripping, one teaching how to use a banana as a play-toy, and the last can be whatever you think is good. That sound okay? Too hard for you?" She shakes her head, eager to prove that she's able to work under stressful conditions. Don plants a kiss on her forehead, "Good! Alright, let's get home now."

"Okay. Bye Suzy!"

"Bye!" She calls back as they leave, her voice cut off by the slamming of the door.

"Hurry up, slow-ass, we need to get home." Don tells her, his voice laced with annoyance. Tyler nods in response, quickening her pace before getting into the vehicle. The drive home is short, with her quickly putting on a layer of makeup. "You know you look God awful without that."

She sneers, "You know you look fucking ugly with your glasses."

"Oh, shut it." He tells her, throwing her a sideways glance. She rolls her eyes but doesn't say anything back to him. "Now, you're going to have to start teaching me with respect. Hear that? You always treat me like that, Tyler, but you don't need to."

She nods as they pull into the driveway. Don grabs her hand before she unbuckles, "No, I'm being fucking serious. If you act like this when we meet with those guys on Saturday, you're dead meat."

Her wrist starts to turn white, "Okay, okay! I get it Don!" He doesn't let go yet though, instead he turns it left, causing her to gasp. "Don-Don! Stop that!"

"It doesn't hurt you!" He tells her, laughing as he continues to twist it. Finally he let's go, still laughing. "Oh, you baby! Stop crying! God, you're such a girl. Quit crying, little baby."

"Well it hurt!" She insists, rubbing her wrist before clicking her seat belt off.

"Whatever." They exit the car in silence, Tyler still rubbing her wrist until she gets up to the door. "Hey, Dad! Where's mom? She sleeping?"

Their dad nods, bringing a cup of coffee to his lips. "Yeah. She's worn out, be quiet, okay?"

"Yeah yeah." Don walks off to his room, slamming the door shut.

Tyler sighs, sitting down at the table next to her dad. "Hey Dad, how's it going?"

"Same as always."

She nods, feeling weak and done. "I...I think I'm just going to take a nap."

"Is all your homework done?"

She nods, standing up and stretching her arms high above her head. "Yeah, call me when it's time to eat."

She's into her room even before he responds, a yawn stretching across her face as she falls onto her bed. And once again she falls into her pattern. Used, taken, given choice, losing choice, and left to her own devices. Part of her wonders if anything even matters. It never seems like it, no matter what she does nothing ever changes.

No matter what I want, I'm never going to leave this place. I'm stuck here forever, no matter what. A groan escaped her lips as she hides herself in the pillows, I'm never going to be an actress, will I?