I eventually always end up
standing at the center of it

“—and what if they don't listen? What if what they really want is her?”

The voice broke off as I walked in, Vernon tailing me like a puppy. Jinyoung closed his mouth slowly, the flash of alarm that had crossed his face at my entry soon smothered itself.

The room was silent for a short, uncomfortable moment, with everyone looking unsure of how they should react to this new development, but a honeyed tone rose from the ashes of the break. Baekhyun gave me a once-over, unfolding his arms and tilting his head just a little, expression giving way to mild interest. “Y/N,” he acknowledged. “We didn't think you'd come.”

Vernon was at my side in a moment, face stony as he surveyed the gathering. “Well, she did.”

Behind us, the door creaked open and shut in a clean, cut-off sound. I didn't need to look behind to know who had just joined us, but by this point I could barely control my own actions. I looked away just as Taeyong brushed past me to join the group. His group.

“All right.” Taehyung's slightly hoarser voice spoke up, the owner eyeing me with a little skepticism. “Might as well let you know what's going on.”

He threw Jennie a look, which made one corner of her lips turn down in distaste. “I guess you do deserve some answers,” she said reluctantly, turning to me. “And you've got a central role in this, after all.”

Minhyuk's eyes flashed her a silent warning, but instead of offering me one of his reassuring smiles, he avoided my eyes. Well, it was understandable, considering the shit I'd pulled with him within a few feet of my own drugged self.

“That's what you've been saying for quite some time now.” I rolled my eyes. “This better be good.”

Taehyung's lips quirked into a little smirk. Seulgi laughed aloud, shaking her head and walking closer to the pool table, into the light.

“I'm sure you're aware that usually, street racers are under a designated manager.” Her tone was conversational, almost bored, as she ran a finger over her knuckles. “And it might be a little obvious that none of us hold the said position.”

I blinked. The thought had surprisingly evaded me, but now that she said it, it seemed to be the obvious root of my growing distrust. No manager. Of course. That's why the group had seemed so incomplete.

Seulgi watched me carefully, her eyes following every emotion flitting across my face. “Seven months before you came here,” she said, slowly, as if she was choosing every one of her words, “he disappeared.”

Seven months?

That seemed too long a period for the racers to have run themselves without a sort-of leader, even if they were the most capable of criminal minds. But that wasn't what had caught my attention.

Seven months. Just a few weeks after I—

My skin crawled. “So that means—”

“Yes,” Baekhyun spoke up, before I could finish my question. “We suspect that the bikers may have a part to play in it.”

This just keeps getting better and better.

“And what exactly do I have to do with this?” I asked, barely controlling my voice. At my sides, my hands clenched into fists around the hem of my t-shirt. “Why was it so hard to tell me that before?”

Somewhere within the storm that had taken over my mind, I guessed that there was nothing I could have done to change it, anyway. They had come for me. I knew that, I knew that they would've done it anyway, no matter if I joined the racers or not.

But it was easier to blame,especially when the victim was part of the reason why I hadn't been able to sleep for so many nights.

Baekhyun's gaze was calm and unwavering as he took in my words. “We had to make sure we could trust you.” The words were cool enough, but there was something in his expression that spoke he had made that mistake before. “You're from Daejeon, after all.”

It was all I could do to keep myself from lunging at him. The implication behind his words was clear—just because I was from the bikers’ operating area, they expected me to be still working under them. Not running from. When would they ever understand that I was here to run from them, the same ones who were making my life more hellish than it already was?

When you tell them.

I suppressed my thoughts, taking a breath and trying my best to appear as nonchalant as possible. This is the underworld, I reminded myself. This is the norm.

“Go on,” I said, instead.

“Even though there's no other way we can confirm your intentions, we don't exactly have a choice, now,” Taehyung's voice spoke up, the deep baritone a contrast to Baekhyun's smoother, slower tone. “But it would be better to remember that we can still put a bullet through your head the moment you suggest otherwise.”

My jaw tightened. As if I hadn't gotten the memo already. “Understood.” I smiled at him, thinly, before continuing. “What's the plan?”

Jennie watched me as I pulled back my shoulders, seeming as if she was unable to look away. The atmosphere was tense, oppressive even, now that I couldn't look at anyone for reassurance. It felt different from the usual half-crazed, half-flirtatious atmosphere—everyone spoke formally, with stiff movements and heavy gazes, not a smile in sight.

Shit was definitely going to hit the roof soon.

“There’s no question now that they already know about us,” Baekhyun said, picking up where he had left off, the authoritative nature of his voice making it clear that he was now addressing the entire room. “So there's no point in much secrecy. All of us are going to carry weapons now, and the races will be off for some more time. We still don't know where they are. Let's hope they don't know about our bases, either.”

Seulgi nodded, running a finger down the raised wooden sides of the table. “Still—we have to be safe. Which means that everything is to be carried out as usual. No inconsistency is to be shown, and we can't let them know that we're preparing for anything.”

I listened quietly, knowing that something was coming—maybe something bigger than me. Turf wars, they call it, right? In my head, the word sounded disjointed and almost like something out of a movie. But that wasn't even a taste of what the next few weeks were about to bring, it none of us could help it.

War.

Swallowing against the bile rising in my throat, I looked up, straight into the blond's eyes. Baekhyun's gaze was flat instead of warm, but for some reason, it was comforting. To know that there was no other way, that I could finally submit myself to whatever was coming.

“You, Seulgi, Minhyuk, and all the others will go back to college.” Baekhyun turned away from me, once again speaking to the gathering with the same reserved, collected voice of his. “After, you're coming back to the Dragon's Tail. No detours, no wanderers, and always carrying a gun.”

The Dragon's Tail. Was that what the club-slash-base was called? Funny I never even noticed despite everything that had happened there.

“We'll take turns watching over you.” He now turned back to me, acknowledging my slow frown with only a slight shake of the head. “Look, we can't afford you going over to the bikers any more than we can afford them taking you. So please, cooperate. It's better for all of us.”

Cooperate, huh. They really did expect me to go according to their wishes despite all they had dumped on me in less than fifteen minutes.

Well, it wasn't like I had a choice, anyway.

“All right,” I said, gruffly, crossing my arms over my chest. I was suddenly aware of how hollow my stomach felt, making me realise that I hadn't eaten anything in a long time. It wasn't exactly like that was the first thing on my mind, what with Taeyong and Vernon and L—

No. It was as if I'd been sucker-punched in the gut. My legs felt weak, and I barely balanced myself against the onslaught of memories the simple word hit me with. Don't think. Don't think. Don't think.

Vernon, who had been standing next to me the whole time, furrowed his eyebrows slightly in my direction. I shook my head, almost imperceptibly, but he only pursed his lips.

“I'll go first,” he spoke up, and I frowned before realising that he meant he wanted to take the first turn in looking after me. I was grateful, of course, because having Vernon was much better than being assigned to someone I didn't have much time with—let’s say Jinyoung—but it still felt like a stan in the chest, being reminded that I wasn't going to be left alone for what could be months.

I felt...used. Toyed with. Did they really have to assign people to follow my every movement as though I had no freedom anymore? And there was nothing I could do to stop it. Between my past from Daejeon and my possible future in Seoul, I felt suffocated, caged in, like it was only moments before I choked and broke under the weight.

And they couldn't even see that.

“No.” To my surprise, it was Baekhyun who had spoken up. His face was still passionless, but his tone left no space for disagreement. “I'll go first. We need you downtown, and anyway, it would be better if she doesn't have to spend time with someone she's...attached to.”

That left my face burning in embarrassment. It was bad enough being treated as some kind of plaything by the racers, but the fact that someone as uninvolved as an informant knew about it—no. Just no.

Still, I chose not to say anything, instead glancing involuntarily at the redhead standing half-cloaked in darkness. His face was stony, but not exactly emotionless. For some reason, my heart felt lighter at that.

Vernon's hand hovered protectively at my side, but he didn't offer any arguments. I guessed Baekhyun, despite his comparatively slender stature, held a lot of authority here.

“All right, then.” The blond lightly pulled back his shoulders, running his gaze across the room. “That's it for now. Jennie, Taehyung—you know what to do.”

As if by some silent agreement, the racers slowly filed out of the room until only Baekhyun was left with me. Taeyong didn't spare me another glance as he left, but that only told me that was as torn about last night as I was. Which, in it's own strange way, was slightly reassuring.

For a moment, it was quiet.

As I was working out in my head what I was supposed to say to him, he spoke, interrupting my train of thought.

“You're not weak,” he said, still looking away from me. His voice was a little less detached than before, taking on a more dreamy, musing quality that was just as fitting. I frowned, but he didn't acknowledge my movement, instead breathing in deeply. “Just...remember that.”

Somehow, the meaning of his words—which I still didn't fully understand—felt as glacial as his usual face.

Baekhyun inclined his head, holding my gaze, before walking out, leaving me alone in the room.

──────

guess who's back in business

(i am)

i'm so hyped to be back and updating already! as promised, i'll try my absolute best to update rush every day this week, but i apologize if i miss it a couple of days or so. i swear i'll make it up to you guys. but hey, rush is back in house.

as you might have guessed, this is where the action arc of the story starts, so buckle up ;) a lot of things are coming at you—the bikers, the past, and the bloody (literally) future. how's that?

love,
Manx.