from here on,
the chain begins

Even though my eyes were closed, I could feel the sunlight's prick through my shut lids.

My forehead creased into a frown, and I shifted, feeling a slow pressure build in my head with every little movement. "God," I groaned as I sat up a little, the muscles in my back and shoulders feeling stretched and aching with an exhaustion I didn't remember.

Something weighted against my lap as I tried to straighten and stretch out my joints. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes, squinting at first, but blanching as soon as I identified the obstruction.

Taeyong's head rested in my lap, the rest of him laid out against the leather backseat of the car. His shirt was still damp, sweaty where it stuck to his torso, probably because of the discomfort of the night. His eyes were closed, but there was rigidity in his posture even as he slept, a tautness in his shoulders and a tightness to his forearms.

Bringing my hand closer to his face, I hesitated just before my fingertips could touch his porcelain-like skin. There was a scar on the crest of his left cheekbone, an old mark that, for some reason, I wanted to touch. The interior of the Stingray smelled humid and almost putrid, the scent of fresh earth and sweat wafting from our bodies and the open window—though not in that order.

My lips shaped an inaudible sigh, and the back of my fingers finally settled over his cheek. His skin was smoother than I'd expected, but still a bit rough, though there was a beauty to the touch that made my heartbeat once again thud at a faster pace and my gaze drop as fast as my engaged hand.

The outside of the car was much too different from the dark, haunted clearing I barely recalled. Sunlight shone through the rare canopies, and the vegetation looked lush and invigorating, rather than daunting.

I turned my eyes back to the sleeping boy in my lap. He stared up at me, eyes silent and cautious, hands still and controlled, none of the raging fire in his expression that had been so dominant the night before. So guarded was his posture that I would've thought the kiss a dream—save for the bruising purple-and-gold at his collar and a slight sting where his fingers had dug into my back.

Tensely, I swallowed back the dryness in my mouth, still feeling as if his lips were tracing a line of fire across my skin. The memories of the kiss were still vivid, like a neon sign, as if they wanted me to pay attention.

Taeyong lifted himself into a sitting posture, having stayed silent the entire time, not even a breath out of place. Subconsciously, my eyes flickered to his hard, leanly muscled back, and once again looked away as my pulse sped up in a mixture of embarrassment and remembrance.

I arched my back against the seat, working out the kinks that had developed into my still joints. Yes, last night's events had left me winded, but the sleep had been long and energizing, especially after such a tiring ride through the previous couple of days.

"It's still early," Taeyong, who had now climbed out of the back of the car, informed me gruffly, shrugging on his jacket. Unsure how exactly to respond, I nodded, my eyes lingering on the hard planes and lines of his shoulders as they disappeared under the leather. "We should get to the others."

My hands clenched and unclenched in my lap. He was acting normal, but it felt wrong and unnatural, with the obvious discomfort and skepticism on his face. Was I just supposed to forget that last night had happened? Maybe in a different aftermath, I would have, but after recalling the exact angle his head had tilted to kiss me and the way his lips had brushed my jaw, it felt almost wrong to ignore it.

He settled in the driver's seat, pausing for a moment with his hands tightening on the wheel. He opened his mouth, but hesitated.

"Archie." My lips shaped the word before I could stop them.

His back stiffened visibly, and instead of speaking, he jerked his chin once in acknowledgement.

But it was as if my brain hadn't processed what to say next, because I sat there dumbly, a million starting sentences running through my head. The only one that came out was, "Is this it?"

He didn't speak for a few minutes, making the air so thick with tension that I could've cut through it with a knife. The time felt longer than it was supposed to, making me itch with something like curiosity, but I was probably too wound up for something like that.

At last, his grip loosened, his back flattening against the seat. "I don't know," he said simply, frustratingly.

I pursed my lips. Don't give me hope.

"There's probably going to be a meeting today, anyway." He cleared his throat, and I turned towards the window, lowering it some more. "Let's see how this biker thing turns out."

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I strode across the place, my sore calf and back muscles screaming in pain. If I turned around, I didn't know what I would see—Taeyong, maybe, following my pace, or maybe even someone from the racers. However, I didn't stop to check. More important things lay where I was headed.

Since the second the redhead had announced the fact that my past with the bikers was going to be discussed, I was on edge. Not sure why, even though I knew that the only chance I had at protection was the same group of criminals who were probably ready to throw me under the bus at a moment's notice. But then, I had been given enough hints that I wasn't the only one facing a bike problem.

The hotel was the same, sketchy looking place as I had perceived it the previous evening. Even though Taeyong and I had dropped by at a safe house to clean up, I still felt dirty all over the moment I walked in. It was just the vibe the place radiated, making me feel like blood and drugs had been spilled in equal amount here.

I made my way to the same room Jennie had directed me to while meeting the 'informant', hoping that I wouldn't have to come face-to-face with a certain blond again. After all that had happened, no following circumstances seemed to be any better than the last. Everything had went downhill from the first moment the first biker had followed Jinyoung in the trap region.

I could hear footsteps behind me now, much too far and light, but I guessed Taeyong had intended to keep his distance. I didn't blame him. The uncontrolled words we'd let spill yesterday had been passionate enough to be regretted sober.

The hallway looked even worse for wear in the daylight, cracks, old plaster and gray walls. A single door lined it when I walked into it, looking for the room I was supposed to be in.

My hand rested against the door, and I paused—though I wasn't sure why. The people inside talked in low voices, because I couldn't hear anything, but somehow I knew the place was inhabited. Probably everyone was in there.

"Wait! Y/N!" A hurried voice called out from the end of the corridor opposite to the one I'd entered from. I looked up to see a messy-looking Vernon make his way over to me, out of breath and pretty hasty. With a patient turn, I waited until he was next to me, heaving and breathless.

"Where were you?" He asked, his honey-brown eyes worried, a crease down the middle of his forehead. He did look pretty concerned, and a lot more disorderly than usual, with unbrushed hair and barely ironed clothes. "I couldn't find you at the club after I left you there yesterday, and with the bikers and all—"

He broke off, breathing out heavily and running a hand through his hair unconsciously. His eyes were underlined with dark circles, and though I guessed it was more the pressure of the job than his selfless concern about my well-being, but I couldn't help feeling guilty. Every time I ran away or got myself into a situation, it was somehow always Vernon who took the emotional blow.

"I'm sorry, I just..." I thought about the car again, and the kiss, and Taeyong's red hair like fire in the dark. Taeyong. He must have still been behind me. "I wasn't feeling too good."

Vernon's pretty eyes softened once again, which I suspected they would have done no matter what I said or did.

For some reason, even looking at him after all I'd done yesterday filled me with an all-encompassing sort of shame and guilt that wasn't merely related to responsibility to him. After all Seulgi had put me through, I wasn't sure I trusted her with more than a little, and consequently, I wasn't so sure about what I'd got to know about the boy in front of me.

With all his sweetness and polite concern, I could barely believe that he was capable of being someone who'd let anyone get away with so much. Even now, the utmost care with which he treated me, regardless of how much I walked over him, was proof enough that he was probably the most genuine out of all of them.

"Hey," he said, lightly touching my cheek. "I know it probably feels like crap to have to deal with so much, but don't worry about being in it alone."

I tried for a smile, but all that came up was weakness. Just moments ago, I had been so purposeful, but all it took was a touch to melt me all over again. He had always been more of a contact person, but the last thing I wanted right now was more romantic pressure.

Vernon's head dipped, and I folded up as he moved closer, but at the last moment, his arms came around me in a hug. Surprised, I stiffened momentarily, but such was the warmth of his strong grip that I relaxed almost immediately.

"Don't worry," he whispered in my ear, resting his chin on my shoulder. "It'll be okay."

The worst of us.

I almost scoffed at that.

Too soon, it felt, he released me, standing in front of me with a reassuring expression. Already I missed the comforting pressure of his body against mine, but I guessed it couldn't last. "Seulgi told me about the ecstasy thing," he said lowly, pressing his lips together. "Honestly, I'm never leaving you alone again."

I laughed a little, shaking my head. "We'll see about that," I said, squinting a little at the door, but my thoughts were a mess. Of course he knows about the drug. And maybe Taeyong. And maybe—

Cruelly, I pulled my mind away from my own thoughts. No time for that. Vernon smiled at me, a slight smile that somehow still held all his warmth and sunshine and maturity. "You good?"

"As much as I can be with all of that shit."

His smile widened. "So let's deal with a little more of that, shall we?"

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a surprise update because i missed writing and you kittens <3 and of course because i am SUPREMELY thankful that you guys voted for me on such a short notice i mean?¿ :'') honestlY i'm so lucky to have you

and shdks who allowed Vernon to look sO gOOD?? he looks like a literal angel here wtf

(stream home and no)

love,
Manx.