Deadpool Trailer

"Uh..." Ruby let out, looking at the masked man on the screen with as much confusion as everyone else in the room besides the gods.

"Yoink!" The man exclaimed as he grabbed Bill's remote and jumped out of the screen.

"Hey!" Bill shouted.

"Hey bitches and bros and non-binary hoes!" The man exclaimed with a wave "The name's Deadpool! Merc with a mouth and dude that's just too cool!"

"Uh...what?" Yang asked, still in a state of shock like everyone else.

"Oh my god Kyle, seriously!? You really wrote me saying that and thought that was a good idea?!" Deadpool asked.

:/

"Oh don't give me that! You can do so much bette-sijfijejdncjidkokdoo, Hey! No! You will not take away my speaking privileges! Now you end this sentence off with a quotation mark like you should, mister!" Deadpool reprimanded.

"Can someone explain what exactly is going on!?" Weiss exclaimed.

"Dude's name is Deadpool apparently." Sun said.

"Ooh! Are you a superhero!?" Ruby exclaimed excitedly.

"Well-" Deadpool was about to say but Nanny Glynda beat him to it.

"No, he is most definitely not." Nanny Glynda said with a glare towards Deadpool.

"Says you, Nanny McPhee." Deadpool childishly retorted and Nanny Glynda let out a huff.

"How are you able to jump out of the screen? Are you a god too?" Penny asked.

"Oh Penny!" Deadpool exclaimed hugging her and swinging her around "You deserved better!"

"Hey! Let her go!" Ruby shouted.

"I'm sorry but I don't know what you mean." Penny said.

"Oh right," Deadpool said, dropping her "Spoilers."

"What are you doing here, Deadpool?" Bill asked.

"Well that's one way of say hi to a friend." Deadpool said but then he started whispering "Psst! Kyle, make us best friends."

: (

"Do it before I start deleting chapters." Deadpool threatened.

Bill's eyes twitched but then they stopped "Deadpool! Old buddy, old pal! How's it going man? I can't believe I didn't recognize you until now."

"Wait, you and Bill are best friends?" Yang asked.

"How?" Blake asked.

"Because its canon!" Deadpool sang as God Raven laughed.

"So, bud, what's poppin?" Bill asked.

"Easy, Jack Harlow, gotta explain to the normies who I am first." Deadpool said, turning to the group as he put his fingers together "So yeah, uwu, hi I'm Deadpool. I hope you all- what the hell is this shit Kyle!? Don't animetize me!"

"This guy's insane." Roman said.

Tyrian laughed "I like him."

"I'm Deadpool, I would say nice to meet ya but almost all of you are badly written so I won't bother!" Deadpool stated "No more boring trailers like all those lame ones you've seen, it's time to show you guys what a trailer really is, and it's all about me!"

"Narcissistic much?" Raven asked.

"Whew, yeah, tone it down Kyle. We don't want them staining their pants from my presence just yet." Deadpool said.

-_-

"We're watching your trailer? Great, this should be fun." Bill said, teleporting to his seat.

"Yup!" Deadpool exclaimed, taping his belt and teleporting onto the seat next to God Raven "How's it going Rave?"

"Missed you, Merc~" God Raven said with a sultry smirk.

"And now I'm gonna puke." Raven said with an annoyed frown.

"Can we just get through this please?" Nanny Glynda asked in annoyance.

Deadpool sighed as he started the trailer "At least you said please."

The trailer began by showing Mercury sitting on a bed with a worried look on his face with Cinder hugging him.

"I love you, Mercury Black." Cinder stated "We can fight this."

Cinder spit her drink out as Mercury jaw dropped. Roman, Neo, Emerald and Ruby started to laugh whereas Deadpool held a tissue in front of him, sniffing as if he was about to cry.

"10/10! This deserves an Oscar!" Deadpool exclaimed as he looked at Oscar "That's your cue, cinnamon bun."

"Ha!" Yang laughed as Oscar looked confused.

"Now aren't ya glad I ain't Jaune?" Deadpool asked you with a wink.

"We're only 6 seconds in." Nanny Glynda said with an eye roll.

"And it's already magnificent!" Deadpool exclaimed.

"What the hell is this supposed to be!?" Cinder angrily shouted.

Mercury grinned "Yes! Thank you, Bill!"

"Like we've seen, anything is possible." Roman said with an amused smirk and Cinder growled at him.

"You're right," Mercury said as an X-ray of his infected ribs was shown "The cancer's only my liver, lungs, prostate and brain."

Cinder was shown looking at him sadly and he looked at her with a small smile then they were shown talking in their apartment "All things I can live without."

"Geez, you don't have to be a dick about it." Emerald said with an eye roll.

"Why care when I know I'm gonna die?" Mercury asks.

"I can't believe I'm crying over you." Cinder said and Mercury smirked.

"Maybe that's how you truly feel~" Mercury said seductively as he leaned closer to her.

"Nyet." Cinder said as she elbowed his crotch and he let out a scream, falling to the ground.

"Ahh, true love. Ain't it beautiful?" Deadpool asked, looking at the two.

"It's certainly something." Nicholas said.

Mercury was shown sitting alone at a bar with his hood upon then a suited Junior was shown speaking to him.

"What if I told you, we can make you better." Junior stated as Mercury was shown on a gurney, being led somewhere "You're a fighter. We can give you abilities most men only dream of. Make you a superhero."

"If any of you ask about seeing something similar to this, just remember that I came first. Not some angry beaver with silver claws, me! Deadpool!" Deadpool announced.

"Why does that sound like a lie?" Weiss asked.

"Well, that's because it is a lie." Deadpool chuckled "I never come first."

Some giggled at that and some face palmed by the man's pervasive nature.

"That silhouette looked just like him." Junior muttered.

"Don't tell me you created that." Melanie said as she pointed at Deadpool.

"What have you done?" Adam asked.

"You just promise you'll do right by me," Mercury said to him as he was shown in bed with Cinder "So I can do right by someone else."

"Hey, Qrow, buddy, I know I kinda killed your dog and all but spare me a drink, gotta pay my respects." Deadpool said to him.

"Your girl?" Qrow asked but Deadpool didn't respond and he was unusually quiet.

Qrow didn't need an answer as he tossed Deadpool a can who started chugging it down.

"See, I care about you." Mercury said.

"The answer's still no." Cinder replied and Mercury slumped.

"And please don't make the super suit green or animated!" Mercury called out as he was shown getting tortured instead.

;)

"Don't you fucking dare Kyle!" Deadpool shouted, pulling out his guns "I don't want anyone ever seeing that train wreck, ever!"

"Seriously. Who are you talking to?" Ironwood asked.

"No one important." Deadpool said.

:(

"Hey you wrote me saying that, don't blame me." Deadpool said.

"Why not green?" Emerald asked "It's a cool color."

"One thing that never survives this place," Weiss said to him as Mercury gasped within a pod "Is a sense of humor."

Mercury was shown getting strapped onto a gurney as he smirked at her "Ah, we'll see about that, Ice Queen."

"See! Even he knows you're an Ice Queen." Yang teased and Weiss rolled her eyes.

"Well, Ice Princess technically." Ruby said.

"Yup. Frozen solidified her as the real Ice Queen." Jaune said pointing to Winter.

"Does this make Weiss a bad guy?" Neptune asked.

"She's technically helping him so I guess not." Sun said.

"This girl was obsessed with her own name for some reason." Deadpool said with an eye roll.

"Oh come on!" Mercury complained as Weiss walked away and Elm smirked "You're gonna leave me all alone here with less angry Yang Xiao Long?"

Elm punched Mercury as the lab exploded.

MARVEL

"Hey!" Yang exclaimed at the jab and some laughed.

"Didn't expect a Marvel one so soon." Summer said in surprise.

"This is the one and only exception." Bill said.

"Aww thanks Billy, makes me feel special hearing that." Deadpool giggled with an animated blush.

"You disturb me." Winter stated.

"Good, that was my goal." Deadpool said with a satisfied sigh.

"So will this guy join the Avengers?" Jaune asked.

"God I hope not; you guys are messier than my mental state." Deadpool said with a scoff "Guardians though, they don't seem so bad."

Mercury, now in his Deadpool outfit, sat on the railing of a highway bridge with a tape recorder playing music as he drew on a paper with crayons.

"What are you, a child?" Hazel asked with an eye roll.

"I look at the simpler things in life, thank you very much." Mercury and Deadpool stated and they gasped as they looked at each other.

"Brother!" Deadpool exclaimed.

"Less cool brother!" Mercury exclaimed as the two fist bumped.

"Oh great, now I gotta deal with two of them." Emerald said with a face palm.

"If you two handsome individuals are done." Deadpool said, gaining the theater's attention "Daddy's gotta get himself off."

"Sorry, do your thing!" Deadpool shouted as he sat down.

Everyone else, besides the gods, was in total shock at what they had just seen.

"He can see us!?" Yang exclaimed.

"Wait does that mean there's two of them!?" Weiss exclaimed.

"Three!" Mercury exclaimed with a smirk.

Cinder groaned "This can't be happening."

"Oh it is, babe. Now sit back and relax as your hubby gets you wetter than people reading fanfics about Jaune." Deadpool on screen stated.

"What?" Cinder asked with wide eyes as Deadpool and Roman laughed.

"Uh..." Jaune let out with visible confusion.

"Maximum effort." Deadpool stated as he stood up and jumped off the bridge, landing through a car's skylight and elbowing one of the men inside. He kicked one in the face and snapped another's neck as one slammed his face into the radio but he recovered quickly and grabbed the man, slamming him into the driver and causing the whole car to flip midair.

"His skills are impressive; I'll give him that." Raven said.

"You have no idea~" God Raven said with a smirk.

Yang shivered "I think I puked in my mouth."

"Nice." Mercury said to Deadpool.

Deadpool burped "Thank you."

Multiple black cars drove up and men came out, taking out guns from the car and aiming them at the crashed car as civilians ran away. The window to the driver's side door opened as the men prepared to fire.

"WAIT!" Deadpool shouted, raising his hands in the air and out the window "You may be wondering why the red suit? Well that's so bad guys can't see me bleed."

"Rubes got the right idea." Deadpool said, pointing at Ruby.

"What!? No! This hood is more personal than that." Ruby said.

"The animators tell ya that?" Deadpool asked, confusing the girl but Nora burst out laughing.

"I think it was the writers." Nora said and Deadpool laughed this time.

"This guy's got the right idea," Deadpool said pointing to one of the men who was wearing brown pants "He's wore the brown pants."

"The brown...oh! Ha! Ha!" Jaune laughed.

"How immature." Glynda said with an eye roll.

"Nah, it was funny." Qrow said with an amused smirk.

"Creative, I'll give him that." Sienna said.

Deadpool suddenly jumped up in the air and spun, shooting at the men and a single shot took out two of them at the same time.

"Holy shit!" Mercury exclaimed in awe.

"How in the hell?" Ironwood asked in disbelief.

"Impressive." Adam said with a smirk.

"Nothing but skill, baby." Deadpool said, putting his feet up.

"Daddy needs to express some rage." Deadpool said as he fired another shot.

"Can you be more cliché?" Cinder asked with an eye roll 'That was so hot!'

"I'm trying." Mercury said with a pout.

Deadpool sighed "Not everyone can be a badass."

A person on a motorcycle fired at Deadpool and a couple of shots hit him.

"Motherfucker!" Deadpool shouted as he looked through the bullet hole in his arm.

"That's gotta sting." Weiss said as she cringed.

"Eh, tis but a flesh wound." Deadpool said with a shrug.

"But your arm-" Pyrrha tried to reason but Deadpool cut her off.

"A flesh wound you philistine! A flesh wound!" Deadpool exclaimed.

"Okay! Geez." Pyrrha said.

"The fuck is a philistine?" Junior asked and Roman shrugged.

A man with a knife came at Deadpool who took out his katana's and before their clash, the screen went black and switched to Deadpool thrusting his junk with his guns in victory.

WITH GREAT POWER

"You don't seem to take things seriously at all." Glynda said.

"Why should I? I mean, I can't die." Deadpool said.

"You're immortal?" Ozpin asked with interest.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Deadpool teased with a giggle.

Deadpool was shown reloading his guns in a room full of corpses then he was shown sword fighting a couple of grunts as Junior was grabbed by the neck and a person was shown getting hit by a fire extinguisher in a fiery room.

COMES GREAT IRRESPONSIBLITY

-_-

"What? Don't blame me for that. Blame the producers that thought it would sound cool, I could never disrespect Spidey like that." Deadpool said.

"What are you talking about?" Ruby asked but Deadpool shushed her.

"Hush child, focus on the bloodshed and nothing more." Deadpool said patting her head and turning her face to the screen.

A strip club was then shown with a near naked woman on stage then the scene changed to Mercury and Cinder having sex.

Many jaw dropped in shock and some spit out their drinks at what they'd just seen, Yang made an effort to cover Ruby's eyes in hopes of not seeing anymore.

"What the hell man!?" Taiyang shouted.

"WOOHOO!" Mercury exclaimed as Deadpool took out his tape recorder and started playing 'We Are the Champions' for him.

"I feel wrong." Cinder said with a shiver and a disgusted frown.

"I don't." Raven laughed.

"I feel wrong for seeing that." Roman said as he lit another cigar.

"Can we just end this whole showing, please?" Nanny Glynda asked in annoyance.

"Nope. We gotta see it through." Bill said and both Nanny Glynda and Glynda rolled her eyes.

"I don't see what the big deal is, this is tame compared to what we did." God Raven said.

"We should do that again." Deadpool said with a nostalgic sigh.

"We should~" God Raven said.

"I feel wrong." Raven said with a frown and a shiver.

Nicholas approached Deadpool and knocked him away and into a nearby car as Coco rose an eyebrow.

"Nick, you're looking...different." Qrow commented.

"Indeed." Nicholas said with a stunned nod.

"You're a literal iron man!" Nora exclaimed.

"Eat your heart out Red!" Roman laughed and Ruby rolled her eyes.

"It reeks like old lady pants in here." Deadpool said in an apartment with Maria.

"Sounds like you have a dick in your mouth." Maria retorted as Deadpool left.

"Great, Even the old people are assholes. Blake said with an eye roll.

"They're funny though." Yang chuckled.

Mercury took off his hood to reveal his face and Junior just cringed at the sight.

"EW!" Emerald let out and most shared the same sentiment.

"Dude you are messed up!" Sun exclaimed.

"That's what's under the mask? Any semblance of attraction to him has fully diminished." Cinder said.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad." Mercury said.

"It's pretty bad." Deadpool said.

"Not helping." Mercury said with a glare.

"Motherfucker you are hard to look at." Junior stated.

"Like a testicle with teeth." Mercury said in agreement.

"You look like Freddy Krueger face fucked the topographical map of Utah." Junior stated.

"Exactly." Mercury said in agreement.

"More like a tumor deciding cancer was the best form of suicide." Cinder said.

"More like a raisin that jumped into a house fire thinking it would be hotter." Emerald said.

"More like Spongebob's retarded cousin." Nanny Glynda said, surprising them.

"Whoa! Glynds! Ain't that going a little too far?" Deadpool asked.

"With you, nothing is too far." Nanny Glynda said with a glare.

Deadpool drew his swords and started fighting Weiss who had her own swords and matched Mercury's skill.

"Never thought of dual wielding." Weiss said with a hum.

"Don't call it dual wielding, that term was ruined by an anime edgelord a long time ago." Deadpool said.

Deadpool fought off more grunts that were firing at him with his swords then he was shown jumping off a car and flipping in the air then firing a single bullet through the skulls of three armed men.

"That was so cool!" Ruby exclaimed.

"Dude! You're awesome!" Mercury exclaimed.

"Never take off that mask and I'll respect you." Cinder said.

"Impressive display indeed." Nicholas said.

"He'd be a tough opponent." Adam said.

"Aw geez, you guys, you're making me all wet inside." Deadpool said.

"Gross." Saphron said.

Deadpool stood up and breathed in the smoke from his guns "Ahh, I'm touching myself tonight."

"You're weird man, super weird." Jaune said.

"I'm open, there's a difference." Deadpool said.

DEADPOOL

"Cool superhero name." Sun said.

"I'm still deciding whether I should like you or not." Ruby said.

"Like me, because I promise it'll make us go a lot faster." Deadpool said.

"You are haunting." Junior stated "You look like an avocado had sex with an older avocado."

Mercury stared at him for a moment "Thank you."

The screen went dark as Bill floated to the front and Deadpool jumped to join him.

"So what'd you-"

"What'd you guys think?" Deadpool asked.

"Hey! That's my line!" Bill exclaimed.

"You snooze, you lose Giza." Deadpool said.

"Well, you're vulgar, demented, murderous and barely take anything seriously, remind me why you're a superhero?" Glynda asked.

"Because believe it or not Brokeback Bayonetta, I actually like helping people." Deadpool said.

Glynda scoffed "Like I'd believe that."

"Well, despite Glynda's opinions, I'd say you're pretty cool and it was nice hanging with you." Qrow said.

"You're one funny guy." Nora giggled.

"And you almost got me a shot with Cinder so you're cool in my book." Mercury said.

Cinder rolled her eyes "Whatever, just tell the burnt raisin to leave already."

"Ouch! Well to those that do appreciate me, thank you! And to those that don't, kiss my cancerous ass!" Deadpool exclaimed, dropping his pants to show them his ass and the all let out complaints.

"That's it!" Nanny Glynda shouted as she jumped to the front and used her cane to hit Deadpool with destructive force right into the screen.

"Bye gold, bye!" Deadpool shouted as he shot through the screen and disappeared.

"I'll miss that cancerous ass..." God Raven muttered sadly.

"Whoa." Yang said.

Nanny Glynda laughed maniacally as she floated back to her seat, fixing herself up "Continue, if you please Bill."

"Whelp, time for a more serious rendition of Marvel." Bill said.

"Really?" Ruby asked excitedly.

"Yup! Get prepared because we're entering a new age." Bill stated.